Between Love and Hate: Chapter 5
Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care
-*-
The clouds hung low in the sky, gray and moody. He stepped over a loose stone, trudging forward, focusing on putting one step in front of the other.
Rachel.
His closed his eyes in defeat. How could he let that happen to her? She was the sweetest little innocent he had ever met; always smiling, always happy. But he had robbed her of that smile, that happiness… he even stole her life. He knew he never deserved her, but to have something that pure, that sweet, that happy, even for a fraction of time was worth it.
The closer he got, the slower his steps became. He had been running before, driven by something distant, pushed by a half buried memory. But now that he was almost there, the steps were harder to take. He stopped in his tracks, frowning as he stared blindly ahead.
Max.
Where did that girl fit into the jagged pieces of his life? There was something about her… something that beckoned stealthily but when he drifted closer, it dissipated from his view. He had pushed it aside as something irrelevant in the past but he didn’t know what to make of it now.
Who was she? Who was she to him? Someone he knew? A friend? But she was one of the 09ers, so that should be impossible. Maybe she was recaptured, and they got to know each other while in Manticore? Were they in a mission together? They were still a lot on unanswered questions, issues that she was to clarify but all inquiry went out the window after one whiff of her pheromones.
He was not… happy with the way he had jumped her, how he had practically forced her at first, the way the animal streak in him took over. He was human dammit, and humans never tossed aside their intelligence and let instinct rule their every move. After the Heat, leaving her was hard, almost impossible. In a way it was like gnawing off a limb and leaving it behind to rot but it was something he had to do. Something he needed to do. But never in his wildest dreams would Manticore disappear, burnt to the ground so hell, nothing was impossible now. There was nothing he can’t do now.
He pulled his coat closer, suddenly cold. Just beyond the trees, in that little clearing was his destination. He forced himself to walk towards the stone erected in her honour. Standing silently in front of her grave, his eyes read the inscription.
Rachel
Beloved daughter
Jan 15 2002
Oct 21 2020
His head hung low, and he mourned for his lost love.
-*-
They were both pacing, angry at the turn of events. They had thought they had the cat in the bag, so to speak, but it turned out that their cat had lost its tongue. Their eyes skittered to her sprawled figure, shadows of bruises started to appear, darkening her ashen form. The clothes hanged crazily from her small frame, ripped and dirty with splashes of blood giving it a spray of colour. Her head rolled to one side as it rested on the back of the chair, black eyes trained to a faraway place, blank and empty.
The Familiar with the scar grabbed her by the hair, forcing her head to tilt to him. ‘Where the hell is he? Start talking before I kill you!’ His fingers tightened on her scalp, but her expression never changed. Not even when a stream of blood trickled down her face when his nails had sliced open skin. He pushed her away in disgust and pulled out his cell phone.
He continued to pace as he waited for his call to go through. ‘We got one of them, sir.’
‘One? What about the other?’
‘We’re trying to get 494’s location out of 452 but,’ he swallowed hard, ‘she’s not cooperating.’
‘I’m disappointed in you, Stefan. I put you on this because you’re the best, but it seems I misjudged you.’
Stefan’s scar seemed to have a life of its own as he gritted his teeth.
‘Bring her in. We’ll make her talk.’
‘Yes sir. Fen’os tol.’ He stared at his cell phone, breathing hard as he tried to collect himself. He turned to his partner and snapped, ‘We go back to base. Prepare her.’
-*-
A small breeze danced over the ground, lifting dry leaves from where it had fallen, much like a curious child’s fingers poking at the unknown. His hair wavered softly, a tentative quiver against his pale face as he took a step towards her tombstone. He dropped his head and stared at the lone wildflower he had picked, the one he wanted to put on her grave.
The fragile blue petals seemed to whisper its secret to the wind as the breeze caressed its soft fingers across the velvety petals. He let out a heavy sigh, eyes shadowed with pain and placed the flower on the stone. His fingers graced the cold surface and suddenly the glassy sheen in his eyes sharpened as he gasped in pain at the surge of memories bombarding his brain.
'She's critical,' Carr answered bluntly, 'I don't think she will make it past 24 hours.' He closed his eyes as quick slashes of pain surged through him, tearing him apart. Hot and painful.
'Max had been looking for the cure for almost a year,' she purposely left out Logan's name, 'what makes you think you're gonna find it in less than 24 hours. What exactly are you gonna do, Alec?' 'Anything, Cindy. Anything… and everything.'
'You should have a name too,' that stubborn female voice called out. 'I told you, my designation’s 494,' he replied matter-of-factly. The fiery brunette shook her head slowly, 'Doesn’t suit you. I’m gonna call you Alec.'
'What about half a million? Does the cure means that much to you?' asked Fowler, obviously trying to gauge just how far should he push Alec. 'Wait a second. No, that doesn't sound right. I think I'd prefer a round figure. One million dollars, that's my price and it's not negotiable. Take it or leave it.'
The flower dropped on the top of the headstone, dropping from his numb fingers before landing on the ground. One of the petals came free from the impact and fluttered softly, riding the easy breeze. His blood raced eerily to his feet and he fell to his knees.
‘Oh god, Alec.’ She started running her trembling hands over his body and her tears raced faster down her cheeks when her shaking fingers encountered the deep cuts and wounds. Her agitation and fear rose a couple of notches after she felt the long gash and broken bones. ‘I’m fine, baby,’ he managed to whisper even as another wave of pain crashed over him. ‘It’s just a scratch.’
This time Max did growl in frustration and her eyes were alive in anger. ‘For the last time, Alec, I’m not saying this under any influence of drugs or something. YES, I have feelings for you. Is that blunt enough for you?’ Alec gulped; his eyes were wide as he stared her way. Damn, she’s serious.
‘I love you, Alec, I really do,’ she replied in a small voice as her hand tightened protectively around him. Even though he was having some major difficulties in concentrating on what she was saying, Alec heard that last sentence and smiled. ‘Those words are already deeply engraved on my heart, Maxie. I don’t think forgetting them would even be possible.’
‘You love me. Those words are already deeply engraved in your heart, forgetting them was not possible... that’s what you said to me. Don’t you remember? You love me!’ ‘I love her. Rachel. I love her and she paid for it.’
‘Oh god.’ The golden flecks swimming in his green eyes shined with pain. Agony at what he had inflicted on her. Unknowingly or not, he had hurt her, had made her cry. He had used her and tossed her aside. If he didn’t have to find her and explain everything, he’d kill himself first. ‘God, Maxie,’ his head dropped to the cold stone. ‘What have I done to you?