We're Going Down, Down: Puck/Rachel, R
Title: We're Going Down, Down
Author: marliskelsey
Pairing,Character(s): Puck/Rachel, several angry maintenance men
Rating: R
Word Count: 692
Spoilers: None
Summary:They’re in the elevator riding down from their apartment because Rachel is heavily pregnant and demanding pickles.
A/N: Quick little ficlet, part of my Puckleberry series (which includes This Reluctant Love, We Go Together Like Little Girls and Chainsaws and Bruce Lee Ain't Got Nothing On Me) and takes place after We Go Together. Hope you enjoy!
They’re in the elevator riding down from their apartment because Rachel is heavily pregnant and demanding pickles.
Puck rubs his arm where she hit him because he didn’t buy any pickles.
The hormones are making Rachel violent.
“Noah?”
Puck glances warily at his wife.
She’s staring down at her hands. “I’m very sorry I hit you, Noah. The pregnancy is making me very . . . emotional, but I shouldn’t take it out on you. It’s not the way a future mother should behave, and it’s not what I would like to pass on to our daughter, so I assure you, it will not continue past this pregnancy.”
Rachel’s lip quivers, and oh fuck, there are tears trailing down her cheeks.
He sighs, positions himself so that she’s not in range to attack his junk, and puts an arm around her.
“No worries, babe. I like it rough.”
Rachel’s lips twist up into a little grin and she stands on her tip-toes to kiss him.
The world grinds to a sudden halt.
Wait.
Holy shit. Holy motherfucking shit.
* * *
Puck doesn’t realize how hard he’s gripping Rachel’s arm until she glares up at him with a mixture of annoyance and pain on her face and he drops it like a hot potato.
“You okay, Noah?”
No, no fucking way he’s okay, because they’re trapped in an elevator and they’re gonna be trapped in here forever, and oh God, Rachel’s pregnant and Puck’s never going to get to have sex again, and they’re trapped, and he loves Rachel and he loves their baby and shit, they’re trapped in an elevator.
Puck looks at her coolly. “Of course, wifey. I’m a dude. We’re not scared of anything.”
Rachel snorts. “Says the man who hid behind a pillow when we watched Paranormal Activity.”
He avoids her knowing eyes. “Shit was unreal.”
Rachel chuckles a little and pushes the emergency call button. “My husband and I are stuck in an elevator that is currently located on the sixth floor, left side. If you could please send us some assistance, that would be wonderful. Thank you!”
She smiles over her shoulder at Puck. He crosses his arms and sulks.
* * *
It’s been twenty minutes.
“Nobody’s coming! We’re going to die in here!”
Rachel rolls her eyes. “You’re being paranoid, Noah. I’m sure they’re just busy somewhere else.”
Everything’s quiet, until Puck suddenly lunges forward and smacks the emergency call button again. “Hey, you, whoever the fuck you are. We’re trapped in a goddamn elevator. So get up off your asses, and stop eating your donuts, and help us! My wife is pregnant! What if she gives birth? I’m not equipped to deal with that shit!”
Rachel’s face is a mask of horror as she pries Puck’s hand from the button.
“Did you honestly think that would make them come faster?”
* * *
Another half-an-hour passes and Puck’s switching to nervously tapping his fingers on the floor.
“I think that we should make use of this wonderful alone time to think about baby names. There’s only three more months, Noah, and my fathers knew my name as soon as they found out I was a girl.”
The tapping stops. He knows where this is going. “We’re not naming her Idina, Eponine or Barbra.”
Rachel’s eyes flash. “I do not understand your aversion to those names. They’re lovely names.”
Puck gives her a look.
“What would you suggest then?” she snarls.
“Hannah.”
Man, he's never going to get used to chicks and their crazy-ass mood swings. Rachel throws her arms around his neck and babbles excitedly about “little Hannah Berry-Puckerman” so he just pats her back idly and returns to tapping his fingers in unease.
* * *
Ten more minutes and Puck’s freaking out, because oh fuck, he’s recording the new episode of Deadliest Warrior and if he dies in here, he’ll never get to see it.
* * *
When the maintenance men arrive, they shoot Puck dirty looks.
Without a second glance, Puck grabs Rachel’s hand and drags her the hell away from that elevator. Because he’ll be damned if they ever ride in that stupid contraption again.
He doesn’t care if he has to carry Rachel, they’re taking the stairs.