SPN RPS: Given and Taken in Ink (1/4) // R // Jared/Jensen

[marishna]

Given and Taken in Ink
Jared/Jensen, R
See the index for a full header.



Jared stared at his computer screen in frustration, tapping his fingers on the keys and deleting the random letters that appeared.

Three months. Three long, boring, annoying months he'd sat at his computer, waiting for the words to come. He waited for phrases and whole paragraphs, sentences to flow from his fingers that once came so easily.

"Fuck," he muttered and shoved away from the desk. He frowned at the blinds he'd shut against the bright sunshine and opened them with a sigh, knowing the sun shining into his eyes was the least of his worries.

He stood up and stretched, reaching high over his head until he felt the satisfying pop in his lower back. Today he'd sat at the computer for four hours, waiting for something to happen.

Instead he ended up writing emails to friends and family, checking Facebook, avoiding his publishers notes and reminders and playing solitaire. The version that came with his PC, of all things.

He pushed back from his desk and whistled for the dogs. They came running, tongues lolling out of their mouths and grinning at him. Jared sank to the floor and caught both Sadie and Harley before they could jump up on him and hugged them quickly.

"You guys don't care if I write another book, right? You guys don't mind if I'm washed up, huh? Yeah," Jared spoke in baby talk to the dogs in such a tone that it worked them up even more. He ducked out of the way of flailing paws so he didn't get a claw in the eye and stood up. He grabbed the leashes from where they hung by the back door and got the two to calm down long enough to get the leads fastened on their collars.

The walk would be therapeutic, he thought. Maybe he should take his notebook, just in case. Maybe he could find a park with a bench and take his laptop. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Taking his notebook with him everywhere he went didn't seem to help, so it probably wasn't going to now.

The dogs trotted amiably beside him as Jared walked down the street on a well-known path to the off-leash dog park. The dogs knew the way easily and could lead themselves there, really. They were damn-near self sufficient by this point. All they really needed him around for was to open doors and buy the food.

"Maybe a story about a dog with a human mind..." Jared mumbled to himself as he walked.

Unfortunately this kind of thinking was more or less typical in his life now. Jared Padalecki: wunderkind at twenty with his first novel. Defying expectations with his second. And falling flat on his face with his third.

The only reason why he was working on a new book was because of his contract with his publisher. He'd sold the rights to his first novel to a studio and the last he heard someone was making a movie about it. He didn't know if it would get off the ground, since from what he understood about Hollywood and movies in general was that for every one project that gets to the big screen there are dozens more sitting in production purgatory, in varying states of completion. If his even made it to script form he'd be happy. But for all he knew it was already abandoned.

He was okay with that. His personal life was already a mess from the book, he didn't need to relive it in technicolour.

The dogs whined, alerting Jared to their arrival at the dog park so he let them off their leashes and watched as they took off across the grassy area, to play with a couple of other dogs they knew from their visits. He sat down on a bench and watched them, enjoying the feeling of the sun on his back.

If only he could write about every day experiences that amazed him all the time. But no one else would take the time to consider the small victories in life as being something novel-worthy. Not after his first two novels were about drama and some intrigue and... yeah. Everything his life just wasn't anymore and for which he was eternally grateful.

The dogs raced back to him, Harley beating Sadie by seconds, and jumped around him waiting for him to come play with them. Their routine was set in stone and Jared was loathe to switch it up. He liked regularity. Monotony, even.

He took the tennis ball he carried with him almost constantly and threw it across the dog park. Harley and Sadie took off and Jared smiled, watching them go crazy over trying to catch the ball. Harley might have been faster but Sadie was more observant and more patient, which made it easier for her to grab the ball when Harley was too busy over running his goal and she jogged back to Jared with what he thought was a self-satisfied smirk.

Jared grabbed the ball back and threw it again. "Marley and Me did okay, right? Had to have, they made it into a movie. I could write about dogs. Write what you know, right? I know dogs! I have two," Jared mumbled to himself. Jared looked around to make sure no one was staring at him like he was crazy and dutifully tossed the ball again when, this time, Harley came back with it.

Harley slobbered more than Sadie.

~~~

"Dennis! Yeah, I'm ... working. Promise!" Jared ran his fingers through his hair as he leaned back in his computer chair, his feet up on his desk as he played a game of solitaire on his laptop with his free hand while his other held his cell to his ear.

"Jared why do you even try anymore. I know what that means," his publisher replied over the phone. "Do I dare ask if you have a date yet?"

"Maybe Christmas?" Jared guessed, picking a date months away.

"Jared..." Dennis moaned. "Come on, man."

"You can't rush greatness, Dennis," Jared replied. "You know that."

"Maybe not, but I can push it along, can't I? Can you send me anything, Jared? A rough draft? An outline? A couple paragraphs? Anything?"

Jared opened his documents folder and looked through the dozens of starts and bits of writing he'd done in the past weeks. He shifted uneasily in his seat and rubbed his face tiredly. "I'll see what I can come up with. No promises."

"That's why I never ask for any," Dennis mumbled. "Just try, okay?"

"Sure."

Jared ended the call and tossed the phone on his desk. Without an idea in his head and nothing to spark one Jared figured it might be Christmas before Dennis got even that outline. He sighed and closed the cover of his laptop, frustrated once more. For someone who tried to keep to himself as much as possible he certainly had a knack at disappointing people.

~~~

Los Angeles was the weirdest place to live. If Jared had his way he would have stayed in San Antonio but it was still too hard for him to go back. Instead he moved to a place where no one would notice him, no one would bother him and he could live in his own head without accusing stares from people who knew him at every corner of his neighbourhood. If anything the book had set him up for life financially, and that's the best he figured he could hope for.

Explaining how he was able to live on his own in his own house to the few people who knew him well in L.A. was sometimes touchy since no one knew of Jared Padalecki since the books were written under a pen name, a decision made at the last second before his first book was published.

Los Angeles helped Jared write his second book. Out on his own for the first time Jared picked the city at random and moved over a weekend, driving all the way from Texas by himself. His sister Megan saw him off with a few tears and waved until she was out of sight. His parents chose to let him depart with a terse phone call but that was enough to affirm Jared's decision to move and start over.

Or hide, as Megan had accused him before he left and many times in phone calls. Jared was okay with hiding. Sometimes, anyway. Other times he cursed himself for being stuck in his own head all the time. But the thought of putting himself out there again, to try and rebuild the social part of his life was too daunting for him, even after the couple years he'd been in L.A. Sadie and Harley were adopted to fill any sense of loneliness Jared might have felt and that worked out just fine, by his opinion. They could love him unconditionally.

~~~

"Asparagus?" Sandy McCoy held up a bag of frozen veggies for Jared to consider. He wrinkled his nose and shook his head.

"Not even a little."

"Lame," Sandy replied, rolling her eyes. But she tossed the bag back into the freezer.

Sandy McCoy was tiny, pretty and talented; an actor and dancer who still nursed a crush on Jared that was entirely hopeless and his closest friend. Sandy called it fate that they met, at a restaurant where Sandy was a waitress for only three shifts. Since then Sandy proved unshakable and determined to be his best friend, if nothing else was possible between them. She'd wormed her way into his life enough to know the basics about what brought Jared to Los Angeles. Enough to know he had issues and enough to know about the books that she promised she would never read, by Jared's insistence. Sandy was nothing if not loyal.

"Why don't we just order takeout?" Jared suggested, swinging the grocery store basket around himself.

"How long has it been since you've had more than gross Starbucks coffee and Subway? I know you're lucky enough to be graced with a body that doesn't suffer from the wear and tear of every day life but if anyone else ate the way you do they'd be on their deathbed from scurvy and congenital heart failure," Sandy shot back. "I'm cooking you something good to eat. Now pick a vegetable."

Jared sighed and reached for a bag of broccoli and added it to the growing pile in the basket. Secretly he really did enjoy being taken care of by Sandy. She reminded him of Megan and the way she insisted on babying him (although she'd never admit to it) made him feel at home.

"Do you have olive oil?" Sandy asked while Jared trailed behind.

"No idea," he replied, shaking his head. Sandy rolled her eyes and grabbed some from the shelf.

"Sometimes I think you only do this so I'll grocery shop for you," she grumbled. Jared laughed and wrapped an arm around her while they walked.

The produce aisle prompted another episode of exasperation from Sandy. Jared was content to trail behind her and let her pick what she thought was good enough. Jared was poking through some odd looking fruit when Sandy hissed at him.

"Come here," she whispered at him from across the aisle.

"What?" he whispered back, joining her.

"Check out the guy to your right--don't look!" Sandy poked him in the side sharply. Jared scowled down at her but didn't say anything. He casually picked up an apple and turned his body to cast a glance in the direction Sandy pointed out. At the end of the aisle near the organic carrots and celery was an incredibly attractive man. He was about Jared's height, but slighter. He was dressed casually, as Jared was, in jeans and a t-shirt and he was checking Jared out. When Jared looked over the guy caught his eye and smiled.

Jared blushed and looked down at his apple. He could feel Sandy's eyes on his back, out of view of the guy so he couldn't see the way she was poking at his back, urging him to go strike up a conversation. Jared took a step back and almost stepped on her.

"Hey!" Sandy whispered. Jared glanced at the guy again who was studying him openly now. He raised an eyebrow which caused Jared's heart to beat faster. He fumbled with his apple and dropped it into a crate of bananas. Jared turned and wrapped his arm around Sandy, giving a half smile to the guy and then steering them away.

"Why did you do that?" Sandy asked, sounding miffed, once they were in the frozen foods section.

"What? Not pick up a guy in a grocery store? How ... tacky?"

"How else are you supposed to meet guys, Jared? You don't go out, you don't initiate conversations, you don't do anything! If it weren't for me you'd order takeout all the time and have the dog food delivered to the house!"

"Is there anything wrong with that?" Jared asked defensively.

"Why do I even bother trying?" Sandy muttered and pushed the cart ahead of Jared, mumbling to herself.

Jared often asked himself the same question.

~~~

"What if I step out of my box?" Jared mused. Harley cocked his head and stared at Jared with his ears raised. Two days later he was still making no progress with his writing. "Like a cop drama or a medical saga, you know? It could be the next E.R. or something."

Jared tapped his pen on his knee and made some scratches on a pad of paper he kept by the computer for spur of the moment ideas. Sadie padded into the room and lay down beside Jared's chair with a loud sigh.

"Come on guys, one idea. I need one idea. Or a bunch of ideas and a thread between them. Or... you know, a fully written book that I can pass of as my own. Then I can take you for a walk."

Jared looked down at Harley and frowned. "Nothing? At all? You're no help." Harley whined at him and Sadie wagged her tail but kept her head down, as if trying not to look hopeful.

Jared sighed and threw the pen on his desk. "Fine, let's go. At least one of us can do something productive today."

Jared shut the cover on his laptop and went to grab the leashes.

~~~

"Nah, I don't think so, Sandy. Not tonight."

"Got something better to do?"

"Working on the book. Got to get something done before my agent flies out here to beat it out of me," Jared said into the phone as he tried to balance a soccer ball on his knee.

"How's it coming?" Sandy asked. Jared wobbled and corrected, taking a little too much time to respond. "Jared?"

"Uh, great. Slow, but it's coming." He put his leg down and let the ball fall to the floor, watching it roll under the kitchen table.

"It better be. I don't like being stood up."

"Sandy--"

"Now I have to go find a real date to take me out," Sandy continued in such a tone that Jared could hear her eyes rolling over the phone.

"I'll make it up to you."

"You'd better," she warned before hanging up.

"Great. Now there are two people who are going to be extremely disappointed in me," Jared muttered.

~~~

"How's L.A.?" Megan asked. The line was a little crackly on Jared's end and he imagined a storm rolling in that was disrupting the signal, instead of the likelihood that she was hiding in her closet while making the call from home in Texas, just in case there were prying ears around.

"You know, warm, shallow and plastic," Jared joked.

"Met any hotties?"

"Oh, yeah," Jared said casually. "Tons."

"Liar," Megan laughed.

"I could've met a hottie," Jared replied, defensive.

"Jared, even if you met one you wouldn't know what to do with him," Megan continued to laugh.

"More than you," he muttered before he could stop himself.

"You wish!"

"I don't want to know!" Jared yelled. He frantically thought of something else to talk about. "How's school?"

"Ending. Are you coming to grad?"

Jared ran his hands through his hair nervously and fought back a curse. " I don't know, Megs."

"Jared..."

"I know. I know. I promised."

"Yeah, you did," Megan said accusingly. "You're not going to miss my college graduation, are you?"

"I won't know until--"

"Until what? You and Dad both get your heads out of your asses and stop being idiots to each other? It's been years Jared! Come home! Mom and Dad have gotten over everything."

Jared felt like he was punched in the gut and he took a quick breathe to try and force the ache out of his chest. He let out a hollow laugh. "Yeah, right. Megan, you know it's not like that."

"Then why does it feel like it? I miss you! I want you to come home!"

"You think I don't miss being there? It's just too hard right now, Megs. I'll see what I can do about your grad but for now... I just don't know."

"Fine," she replied tersely when it obviously wasn't. Jared changed the topic again but their conversation was strained and clipped after that. They hung up the phone soon after so Jared sat at his desk, staring at his phone and feeling like his computer was mocking him.

He put it in a desk drawer and didn't take it back out for two days. That would teach it.

~~~

"You know, if you guys were better trained we could probably get a good game of HORSE going, you know," Jared said to the dogs as they watched him dribble the basketball in his backyard. "I've seen them on those Discovery Channel pet shows or America's Funniest Home Video. Soon one of those dogs are going to slam dunk the ball and you two are still going to be sitting there, watching them do it. Then what will you think?"

He chucked the ball at the basketball net and it bounced off the rim, into the bushes near the fence that divided his property from the empty place next door. It'd been vacant for a few months and the recession hadn't helped to rent it out. The landlords seemed to be constantly showing it, or they had been, before Jared realized that staring at the people who came and went all day, every day was a little obsessive and Rear Window-ish. And still didn't spur any creativity, so he stopped.

Jared walked over to the fence and waded into the bushes and weeds that were to his knees to grab the ball. He had someone come mow the lawn once or twice a week but he wasn't sure what to do with this mini-jungle growing in the corner so he left it for now, morbidly curious to see how big it could grow before he couldn't see out his window or someone complained.

He bent down to grab the ball when he finally found it, then when he straightened up he noticed movement through the fence. A neighbour finally moving in next door.

Jared was just tall enough to see over the fence and watch some of the movement happening across the lawn and noticed the moving van in front of the house. He started to step back and let them have privacy when a car pulled up behind the moving van, something non-descript and blue, and a guy got out. Jared tightened his grip on the ball as the man opened his trunk and pulled out some boxes. He yelled something Jared couldn't hear to the moving people, smiled, and then walked into the house where Jared couldn't see him. He scanned the bit of yard that was in his sight but didn't find anyone else who appeared to belong to the house. There were two moving people but no one else moving into the house, it seemed.

Jared continued to watch the moving men haul items out of the truck for a few minutes before he saw the presumed new tenant jog back to his car. He was wearing a pair of well-faded blue jeans and a light green shirt that Jared noticed was sticking to his back from perspiration. His hair was light brown and short, a little spiky. He was well tanned and clearly in good shape.

Jared tried to move more to the left but ended up nearly tripping over a large rooted plant under foot. Harley barked at him, as if laughing at him from behind Jared. He swore lightly, trying to untangle his foot, then looked up at the house again. The new guy was already gone back inside.

Jared stepped back from the fence for real this time and shook his head. Just because the guy seemed to be alone didn't mean he didn't have a wife or a girlfriend or kids or... whatever. A boyfriend, even. Didn't mean anything, right?

"Oh, fuck off," Jared groaned to himself. He threw the ball across the yard toward the basketball net and whistled for the dogs who followed him back into the house.

~~~

The next day Jared didn't even turn on the computer when he got up. It was finally rescued from the drawer but Jared couldn't be bothered to turn it on and attempt to write. Instead he found a pair of garden shears, a rake and a shovel in the basement that must have been there since he moved in, if not more, and he decided to tackle the jungle in his backyard.

When he stood in the thick of the growth he looked around, trying to find anything salvageable in the mess. He recalled the real estate agent mentioning that the previous owners had quite the garden going before he moved in. Roses and gardenias and... other stuff. Jared didn't see anything but lots of green weeds now and spared nothing. He started digging.

He was trying to gather everything he'd chopped down into neat piles when he heard a knock on the fence. Jared had been so into his task, actually enjoying his work, that he jumped and swore, before he looked up to see someone staring at him through the fence.

"Sorry man! Didn't mean to scare you!"

"Jesus!" Jared gasped, then laughed. "S'okay."

"I saw you out here and wanted to come introduce myself, is all. Looks like we're neighbours."

Jared stepped closer to the fence so he could look over to catch sight of the guy he'd seen yesterday but this time all of him and up close. The guy stood back a bit so Jared could see more of him and he could look back because he was a few inches shorter than Jared. Jared was close enough that he could see the dusting of freckles over his nose and that his hair was a bit darker than he'd thought. His shirt stuck to him again today but this time Jensen could see how it clung to the muscles in his chest. His well word jeans had holes in the knees and they had streaks of dust all over them, presumably from moving boxes and furniture. Jared was quite happy for the fence between himself and the new neighbour at that moment.

"I'm Jensen," the guy said and waved.

"Jared. I saw you moving in yesterday," he replied before he could stop himself. He wanted to wince at how potentially creepy that sounded but Jensen didn't seem to mind.

"Sorry if we were making too much noise," Jensen said.

"No, not at all. I was just hanging out and noticed. Hasn't been anyone in the house for awhile so it would be hard to miss," Jared said lamely, feeling the heat rush to his cheeks because of how dumb he sounded.

"Hope you don't mind new neighbours," Jensen said with a wide smile, revealing a set of perfectly straight, perfectly white teeth. Jared grinned back, helpless.

"Not at all. It would be nice to have some new people around."

"Is everyone else around here cool? You're the first one I've met."

"I think they are. I'm not sure, really. I'm still new myself," Jared explained.

"Yeah? How long have you been here?"

"Er, well. Almost two years? I'm usually... busy," Jared said, shifting his weight from side to side as he spoke. Great, now he sounded like a moron.

"That's cool. Who can hold down a normal life anymore, right?" Jensen shrugged.

"Anyway," Jared said in a rush, now eager to end the humiliation that was coming fast and furious. "I should let you get back to unpacking, eh? See you around."

"Sure! Come over for a beer any time. Maybe we could watch a game or something," Jensen offered.

"Right! A game! Sounds like a plan!" Jared called over his shoulder as he walked quickly into the house. He realized when he got inside he still had the garden shears in his hands. He dropped them at the door, toed off his muddy sneakers and left his now-filthy clothes at the door. He made a beeline for the bathroom to shower. When he looked at himself in the mirror he sighed--there was dirt all over his face, including a large splotch right over his nose.

"You're a fucking tool," he muttered to himself as he stepped into the shower.

~~~

A couple days later Jared was walking the dogs and took the route that led him right by his new neighbour's house. He spent a lot of his time indoors, working out on his treadmill and weight machine and generally trying to stay out of eyesight of Jensen, until Jared found a way to avoid his unfortunate 'act like a moron' syndrome. Jared didn't even notice where he was until Harley barked and tried to make a break from their usually well trained and behaved routine. Jared felt himself being jerked to the left and he stumbled, nearly falling over onto his face. He kept a grip on both leashes because now Sadie was straining to follow Harley, and tugged them back to his side.

He looked up and saw Jensen sitting on his front step, grinning at him. "Too much for you to handle?"

Jared's cheeks burned and he seriously contemplated making a bolt for his house. "Took me off guard, is all," Jared muttered. He tugged on their leashes and made a move to go back to his own yard but Jensen stood up and approached him.

"I was just wondering if you knew what to do in this town," Jensen said, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Me?" Jared asked, surprised.

"Well, yeah," Jensen laughed.

Jared considered himself the closest thing to a recluse there was without actually never leaving his house. If it weren't for Sandy he was sure he wouldn't even see movies at the theatre every now and then. Jared was so stuck in his ways that he nearly dreaded changing routine.

"I... don't know. It's a big city, I'm sure you'll find something," Jared replied slowly, unsure how to respond in a way that wouldn't make him come off as a complete asshole.

Jensen nodded, smiling. "Those two years just haven't been long enough, eh?"

"Something like that." Jared shifted back and forth awkwardly.

"We could fix that together. Maybe go out and check out the town? Friday?" Jensen asked casually but as soon as the words formed in Jared's head his heart started thudding heavily in his chest.

"I uh..." Jared stuttered, trying to think in complete sentences.

"I mean, it's cool and all if you don't want to but I figured since you're still 'new' and I'm definitely new we could check things out together. L.A.'s kind of scary solo, you know?" Jensen was smiling at Jared crookedly and Jared was trying desperately to think of something to say that wasn't a mess of vowel sounds. The dogs could sense his anxiousness and were starting to whine beside him.

"I don't think so," Jared blurted out, then turned around and all but ran back to his house. He didn't look back once he was inside with the door securely locked behind him. He let the dogs off their leashes, fed them, and then banged his head against the wall while they ignored him.

"You're such a fucking spazz," Jared muttered to himself. He resolutely refused to look out the windows toward Jensen's house for the rest of the day.

~~~

Jared wasn't always this way, he would often tell Sandy. Usually those conversations started when they were both a little drunk (Jared more so than Sandy) and she would ask questions that he would shy away from when he was sober. She was a wily one, he would realize in the morning but he was never angry with her. He secretly thought of it as his own personal brand of therapy.

He sometimes let things slip he didn't want to relive or bring up again but she never pushed when she knew she was getting too close and for that he appreciated her. She knew when it was too much for him and when he'd reached his limit of sharing for the moment. But slowly, piece by piece, over the months she'd learned more about him and was able to put some of the puzzle together.

He was popular in school. Voted one of the homecoming princes and was often eyed by the hottest girls in school. Where he came from other guys would have killed for that. The shiny, TV-esque high school existence. Jared's life was like a Texas version of 90210. He was a basketball star, up for all sorts of scholarships and he had his pick of top colleges.

Everything was falling into place. Everyone could see where his life was headed and how easy it would be for him. Perfect.

The whispers started in Jared's junior year. Some of the girls would talk to each other, wondering why not a single one of them could get close to him. Did he have a secret girlfriend from another school? Was he saving himself? Did he have hideous scars somewhere on his body?

Then the guys started talking. How Jared never talked about girls, never joined in on their locker room talk. Some tried to pass it off that he was raised like a good boy and would never participate in such talk. Some people liked to rag on Jared just because he was a golden boy at school and could do no wrong. But other people did it because they knew there was something he wasn't saying.

It wasn't until university that things really hit the fan. Jared got into the college his whole family were hoping for him and he did it on his own, with merit scholarships instead of one for basketball. That was a thorn in his father's side immediately but Jared pacified him by telling him he wanted to focus on his studies. What would happen if he were to blow his knee in first semester? What then?

Jared didn't want to play basketball. He realized soon into his senior year of high school that if he were to never play another competitive game of ball he wouldn't be sad. He played for his school, his friends on the team, his family. Jared did a lot of things in high school that he eventually realized he didn't care about.

College was his chance to break free of all that and find out what did make him happy. To find out who he was without all the trappings of preconceived notions and boundaries and the same people he'd seen for the whole of his eighteen years. He wanted the ideal college experience.

He got Chad instead.

~~~

"Hey. Got any eggs?"

Jared looked up, startled, and accidentally knocked over the glass of orange juice sitting by his hand. He swore and grabbed for it but it spilled all over the table and onto his pants. He sighed and got up from the table, not bothering to stop the dogs from licking up the mess that dripped onto the ground. He was sitting on his back patio with the morning paper after the taking the dogs on their morning run, trying to map out his schedule for the day that would inevitably be ruined when he didn't get any writing done.

"Sorry about that. Didn't mean to catch you off guard."

Jared pushed his sunglasses up to sit in his hair, aware that it probably created a weird rooster look but he didn't care, and saw Jensen staring at him through the slats of the fence. He took a few steps toward the fence and shrugged. "No problem. What were you looking for?" Jensen stood up on his tip toes to try and see over the fence. Jared stepped closer so he could look over without Jensen straining himself.

"Eggs. I need to hit the grocery store up in the worst way. I'm severely lacking some key breakfast ingredients," Jensen explained with a smile. Jared shifted, uncomfortable but nodded.

"Sure. Two?"

"If you can spare them," Jensen replied. Jared turned to go into the house but Jensen spoke up again. "Don't suppose you have a couple slices of bread, too?"

Jared paused, then turned slowly. "I was just about to make breakfast for myself. Did you want to come over and join me?" He swallowed hard, trying to make the dry mouth go away. Jensen, on the other hand, grinned easily.

"I never say no to a free breakfast. Be right over." Jensen disappeared into his house so Jared hurried into his, taking stock of what was out of place. He wasn't a total slob but he was prone to leaving messes here and there with his things. The cleaning lady made sure he wasn't living in filth and left his piles of oddities alone, for which Jared was grateful. He'd never find anything otherwise.

He cleared the piles of books and a laundry basket off the table, tossing them into his office and closing the door soundly. He opened cupboards in the kitchen wildly, trying to find all the things he'd need for breakfast to make it look like he'd actually been planning this.

Jared grabbed a box of pancake mix, and then stopped, holding the box mid-air. "What the hell are you doing?" he asked himself, frustrated. He put the box down on the counter and pulled his sunglasses off his head so he could run his fingers through his hair. When he did he realized he was a sweaty, unshowered mess. He always rolled out of bed to take the dogs for a run, and showered after. Now he was about to have his insanely attractive neighbour over for a breakfast he wasn't even sure he could make by himself, and he looked like he hadn't washed for days.

"Smooth Jared, very nice. Maybe later you can show him your stamp collection," he muttered to himself.

He picked up a few more things and tossed them into his office or random closets before conceding that he'd done the best he could. He found a baseball cap and jammed it on his head, trying to tuck his greasy hair back. Not a moment too soon, either, as there was a knock at the back door within seconds. He waved Jensen in and hurried back to the kitchen to make it look like he was semi-prepared.

Jensen let himself in somewhat hesitantly and followed Jared to the kitchen. "Need any help?"

Jared shook his head. "I should be okay. Take a seat or, um, look around. Whatever."

Jensen nodded and looked around the room but didn't move from where he leaned against the door. "Nice place. You live here alone?"

"Yeah. Well, and Sadie and Harley."

"The dogs?" Jensen guessed.

"That'd be them." Jared whistled for them and they came running, tails wagging, thinking they were going to get fed. Jensen got down on the floor immediately to pet them and they went crazy. Jared watched them for a few minutes until some of the grease in the pan snapped and singed his hand. "You like dogs."

"I like animals," Jensen corrected. "Thinking of getting something myself. Don't know what yet, though. I don't know if I could handle two of these," Jensen said in a tone that made both dogs go crazy and try to lick at his face.

"It's not so bad once you get used to them. Although, like I said, the space. They do like it."

"If you don't mind me asking, do you rent or own?" Jensen asked as he stood up. Sadie stayed by his leg, wagging her tail and Harley laid down on the floor at his feet.

"Own," Jared replied. He was putting bacon in a pan to fry, doing it mindlessly to keep his hands busy and so he wouldn't have to look at Jensen. He still wasn't sure what the hell he was doing or what he was thinking when he invited Jensen over. He was out of his element.

"Wow, must be nice."

"I had some investments," Jared said and shrugged uncomfortably. The blessings of having a pen name was that he had anonymity. But in the other respect the success he had from being published left him holding a bag of unanswered questions about why he lived on his own, how he could afford it and what he did as a job.

"You'll have to tell me your secrets," Jensen laughed. "It's a big house just for you."

"The dogs like their space," Jared said, turning around and smiling slightly at Jensen, who laughed.

Jared turned back to what he was doing and Jensen continued to lean against the wall behind him. Jared could feel eyes on him, boring into him. He could hear Jensen breathing, he thought, and it made him increasingly uncomfortable. He was trying to think of something to say when Jensen took a deep breath and broke the silence.

"So are you always like this or am I special?" Jensen asked. Jared turned around and blinked, a strip of raw bacon hanging from his fingers.

"Sorry?"

"If you want me to leave I will, just tell me I'm being a pain," Jensen continued.

"What? No," Jared replied, confused. He dropped the bacon into the pan without looking and held up his hands apologetically. "I'm just not used to having people around, is all."

"I can get out of your space," Jensen offered again.

"No, it's not like that. I guess I've just forgotten how to act around... anyone, really."

"Never met a hermit so young," Jensen joked.

"You don't know the half of it," Jared replied, half smiling. "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to come off quite so... this way. Los Angeles is a weird enough city as it is; meeting someone new can throw you, I guess."

"Yeah, L.A.'s a bit of a trip, huh? I saw Lindsay Lohan on Rodeo Drive a couple days ago. Shocked the shit out of me."

"Doing some shopping?" Jared asked, trying to keep the conversation light. He turned back to tending to the bacon. Jensen stepped further into the kitchen and approached the counter where Jared had everything laid out. He grabbed the bread and stuck a couple of slices in the toaster on the counter.

"Doing the tourist thing," Jensen replied, a bit sheepishly. "Can't help it."

"I get it. I did a bit when I moved out here, too."

"Ever taken one of those tours of the stars homes? I wanted to do that but I don't think I want to sit on one of those things for four hours, or however long it is."

"Nah, never did that. It feels too much like an invasion of privacy," Jared said with a shrug. Jensen looked a bit uncomfortable but nodded. Jared shrugged mentally and turned back to the bacon..

"Butter?"

"Sorry?" Jared blinked.

"Do you have any?"

"Oh, fridge," Jared replied, jerking his head. Jensen opened the door and looked inside, trying to find things. He grabbed the butter, some jam and a jug of juice. Without being prompted he found the plates and glasses and set the small table with silverware.

When they sat down to eat Jensen followed Jared's lead and dug in when he did. They ate in silence for a few minutes before Jensen looked up to eye Jared.

"You're from Texas, right?"

Jared looked up, a bit surprised. "How'd you know?"

"You can't hide the accent, man," Jensen laughed. "I'm from Dallas. You?"

"Dallas? That's cool. I'm from San Antonio."

"Awesome. We're sworn enemies, y'know."

"Yeah, I know. That's why I poisoned your eggs," Jared joked.

"Bastard," Jensen replied mildly. "So... you're not a fan of checking out the city, from what I gather?"

Jared remembered how much of a moron he'd been in front of Jensen a couple days before and blushed. "That was--just ignore me. I was having a moment."

Jensen laughed. "Don't take this the wrong way but you remind me of an agoraphobic. You uh, don't get out much?"

Jared's cheeks burned but he nodded. "Kind of. I'm happier with my dogs and being on my own to work."

"What do you do?"

Jared hesitated for a moment. "I'm a writer."

"Oh? Anything I'd know?"

"Probably not. I'm freelance so I kind of write whatever comes my way," Jared skipped around the truth. In a way he did write what came to him, but no one sent him the ideas. It wasn't technically lying. Right?

"That's cool. You get to set your own hours and work from home. Sweet deal." Jensen nodded. Jared changed the subject quickly and breathed easier when Jensen followed him. "So what do you do?"

"I'm a part time student, taking business management. During the day I do work study at an engineering firm."

"Sounds..."

"Boring?" Jensen cut him off. Jared's mouth dropped, afraid he'd offended Jensen but he laughed. "I'm yanking your chain, man. It's not everyone's cup of tea, for sure. But it pays the bills, you know?"

After they finished eating Jensen stayed at the table, asking Jared questions about the neighbourhood and the city. He was quite talkative and kept the conversation jumping so nothing got too personal or in depth. When Jared was starting to relax Jensen started edging into questions about him.

"So what brought you out here?"

Jared shrugged. "Wanted a change."

"If you can write from anywhere, why not from the great state of Texas? You a California boy at heart?"

Jared smiled wanly and leaned across the table a little. "Why'd you move out here? Couldn't take a management course in Dallas?"

Jensen grinned back easily. "Sure, I could have. But who wanted to go to school close to home? I needed to try something new. Now that I have I kind of like it. You don't?"

"It has its moments," Jared replied.

"You're not an easy guy to get to know, are you?"

"Sorry?"

"You dodge just about every question I ask but when you actually answer you fluff it up. I know I'm basically a stranger but most people give away something about themselves. You... not so much."

"Are you a spy?" Jared asked, feeling his hackles raise as if he were being attacked.

"If I were I couldn't tell you," Jensen replied. "I like trying to read people. You're a hard one to get a bead on."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

"Depends on whether you want to let people close or not."

"Right." Jared wasn't sure what to say so he pushed back from the table and took his plate to the kitchen. Jensen followed close behind and grabbed a dish towel once Jared started to run water in the sink.

"I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, or anything. I run off at the mouth a lot, is all. Sorry."

"No, it's okay. I get it."

"When I start doing that just hit me or something or tell me to back off, okay? I'll do it a lot," Jensen continued.

"What makes you think we're going to hang out again?" Jared asked nonchalantly.

"You're taking me sightseeing on Friday. So you're going to have to learn to put up with me," Jensen replied with a grin.

"Huh."

And that was that.

~~~

Later in the evening, long after Jensen returned to his side of the fence, Jared sat down at his desk and tapped on the keyboard, watching the random sequence of letters pop up on the blank document. He reached up to grab the pull for the blinds and opened them wide so he could look outside and feel the slight breeze blow into the room.

He could hear the faint sound of music from next door, floating through Jensen's open windows. Jared strained to sit up a bit straighter and looked over to see if he could look over at his neighbour's house. The fence was too tall to see the bottom floor so Jared scrunched back down into his chair.

He started typing, doing a free write like he always hated, and ended up centering his thoughts on Jensen. He typed out what Jensen looked like, how he talked, what he looked like when he walked, what sort of clothes he wore...

Then Jared put him back home. Imagined him living with his folks and striking out on his own for the first time, deciding to travel thousands of miles away from his home to find out what he wanted from life at eighteen.

An hour later Jared was surprised when he looked at the clock and noticed the time. He'd been typing, working out a scenario for the Jensen in his head who was starting to take on a different hair colour and more defined mannerisms that Jared hadn't had time to notice from Jensen yet. But Jensen was still in the character in Jared's head. He was just a little different and taking on a life of his own.

Jared closed his eyes as another breeze wafted through the windows, across his face, and he realized he couldn't hear the music from Jensen's anymore. He'd likely turned in for the night. Jared flipped on the desk lamp switch and kept typing.

~~~

Chad Michael Murray was the first friend Jared made in college.

They were in the same creative writing class and sat beside each other. Chad was the kind of guy who... well, he was a douche, if Jared thought about it honestly. The guy talked about the cheesy lines he liked trying out on his conquests, he bragged about things he did, people he knew, what he knew.

But he was honest, and Jared liked that about him.

He was also the only friend Jared had for the first couple months of school. College, as it turned out, wasn't as easy as Jared thought it would be. He knew it wasn't going to be easy-easy but he was a smart guy. He always had his head on straight in high school. He managed to do sports and school and balance friends between it all.

College was totally different, though. Little fish in a big pond, he supposed. His classes were more intense. He didn't know anyone. And it was hard to make friends when he didn't see a face twice in any of his courses.

Jared tried to put himself out there by introducing himself to the people in his residence and the guys all seemed nice enough but they had their own problems to deal with. They had their own lives and friends. So Jared rolled with the punches and got to know Chad.

Chad was hard to explain. He was from New York originally and found his way to Texas to get away from his family, to strike out on his own. He had an off-campus apartment and he was in his sophomore year so he'd already been through the freshman disorientation, as he referenced it to Jared. He knew what bars were the best, which ones ID'd always compared to which only did some of the time and how to snag free food from the cafeteria.

When Jared looked back at how his relationship with Chad developed he saw a bit of hero worship in himself. He wasn't ashamed of that, exactly, but he always cringed a bit when thinking of how much of a dork he must have come off to Chad.

But Chad didn't care. Chad enjoyed the attention. He loved having someone hang off his every word and who looked up to him to help with getting used to the college experience. Chad was the college experience, as it would turn out.

A couple months after Jared started school he and Chad were hanging out one night. Chad scored them some weed, something Jared had never, ever done in high school, and offered him some.

"I don't know, man," Jared remembered saying. "I've never--"

"That's what college is for! All the 'I never''s. Try it and if you don't like it, it's cool," Chad explained.

Jared wondered if this was what peer pressure was supposed to feel like. It wasn't that he didn't want to try but he was a good boy. He saw his mom's face in his mind and giggled a little, despite himself. Chad looked at him funny and Jared blushed but he calmed down.

"Okay." Jared reached out for the joint, trying to shove the image of his mom out of his mind. "Like this?" He brought it to his lips and sucked in a little, wondering if he was going to be able to feel anything. He'd smoked cigarettes a couple times at friends' houses, sneaking them at parties or behind someone's garage late at night, but that was it. He wasn't even sure he'd done that right.

"You'll know it if you're doing it right," Chad replied with a giggle. Jared snorted, then coughed, and took another puff.

They passed the joint back and forth between them until it was gone. Jared sat on Chad's broken down couch, staring at the TV that was off and wondered how he'd know if anything was happening. He looked over at Chad who was staring--no, squinting at him.

"What?" Jared asked. Chad cocked his head to the side and that did it. Jared dissolved into laughter, slapping his leg as he chuckled loudly.

"Yeah, you did it right," Chad told him easily. Jared continued to laugh, so hard he didn't notice when Chad left his chair to sit beside Jared on the couch.

"We should watch TV or something," Jared said between laughs and nodded to the TV. Chad turned to him on the couch and laid his hand on Jared's thigh. "What?"

"Nothing," Chad replied. He edged closer to Jared. Jared didn't move from his spot, too relaxed to be nervous. Chad leaned his head in close to Jared's. "Does this bother you?"

Jared swallowed hard and shook his head slightly. "No."

"Liar," Chad whispered and grinned. Jared didn't have time to reply before Chad moved in and pressed his lips to Jared's. Jared sat there, stunned, and didn't know how to react. Chad brushed his hand down Jared's face lightly, trying to illicit a response but Jared still didn't move.

Chad pulled back and nodded. "Okay, I get it."

"Get what?"

"Nothing." Chad sat back on the couch and sighed. "Nothing."

Jared sat back hard and felt his heart pounding in his chest like it was between his ears. This was new and unexpected. He wasn't sure if it was the pot or if he was just better at coping than he thought but he wasn't freaked out. At all. In fact...

He leaned forward, poked at Chad awkwardly and moved in when Chad looked at him. He missed Chad's mouth by an inch or so, in his haste to try it again, but Chad rested his hand on Jared's chest, steadied him and corrected them.

This time Jared responded, matching Chad's pace and returning the effort when Chad slowly brushed Jared's tongue with his own. Jared felt his palms grow sweaty but he didn't care as he wrapped them around Chad and clutched at his shirt.

That was how Chad went from his first college friend to his first boyfriend. Although he never said as much to Chad.

He and Chad grew closer as the months passed and late summer turned to fall. The semester grew harder and Jared knew he needed to buckle down if he wanted to take marks home at winter break that would impress his family. But things with Chad were proceeding at a steady pace. Chad's friends were Jared's friends. When Chad had plans on the weekend, so did Jared.

They kept things casual for the most part publicly but it was anything but casual for Jared. Chad was the slightly older, wiser, more worldly one in Jared's opinion. Why wouldn't he follow Chad's lead and believe what he was presenting to Jared?

By Thanksgiving Jared was feeling good about himself and his place in the grand scheme of his life to that point. He felt grateful to have found a place so early into college. Who else would be so lucky, he wondered. Chad continued to guide him creatively, as well.

On their first day in their creative writing class their professor said, "Write what you know." Jared took that to heart and spent his Thanksgiving break at home writing about his relationship with Chad. About the ease of it and how he'd changed from who he thought he was, to someone who wasn't sure, and then how quickly he'd found himself again. How blessed he was.

Writing about the relationship itself was a big enough step. It meant he was admitting to himself, and someone outside of himself and Chad that he was sexually attracted to men. That he was gay. It made sense, when he thought about it, he realized. But he'd never considered it before.

He talked about Chad non-stop during his Thanksgiving visit home. His parents were happy he was fitting in and that he had such a great friend to turn to, especially one that was so helpful with his coursework. Jared didn't see any need to explain further to them. Not then.

The final push before the semester was over, found Jared putting the finishing touches on his story. He was proud of his work, and himself, for the first time in a long time. High school was regurgitation and recycling information. College was about saying something and proving it yourself, not why someone else said it and why they believed it.

He and Chad said their goodbyes for the holiday break privately the day before Chad flew back to New York. It was the night Jared lost his virginity.

Christmas was a quiet affair. Jared tried to call Chad a few times but he was always out with his family or hanging with old friends. Jared understood and did the same, although not hearing from him once over the break was disappointing, to say the least.

When he got his grades back for the first semester some of them were better than he thought, while others he knew he'd have to work on. His creative writing grade was his most surprising, however. An A, in a subject he'd selected to take only on a whim from the electives.

His parents were pleased for the most part although his father questioned his decision to take creative writing mildly at the dinner table.

"Could have taken another science, you know," his father mused.

"I could have," Jared replied carefully. "But I took this and got an A. I'm okay with that."

"As long as you're not forgetting the end game."

"Of course not," Jared replied quietly and changed the subject quickly.

As soon as he got back to school in January he sought Chad out at his apartment. Chad greeted him warmly and kissed him, threading his fingers through Jared's hair possessively. They spent the day in bed.

The next morning Jared rose before Chad so he could get back to his residence to change for the first day of the new semester. He left behind a copy of his final assignment for creative writing with a note for Chad to read it, that he hoped he was as happy with it as Jared was.

Jared didn't hear from Chad all day and wondered if he'd read it. Jared looked around the second semester advanced writing course he was taking for Chad, expecting him to be there as well, but Jared was alone.

That night Jared was surprised to open his residence room door to find Chad on the other side, holding Jared's story in his hand. Chad brushed by Jared without saying a word so Jared closed the door behind him quickly.

"You read it?" Jared asked, suddenly anxious.

"Yeah," Chad replied shortly. "I did. What were you thinking?"

Jared jerked back, as if slapped. "Excuse me?"

"What. Were. You. Thinking?" Chad replied between clenched teeth. "Why did you write this?"

"I... I was writing what I know," Jared replied lamely.

"What you know? You don't know anything!" Chad replied, his voice rising. Jared motioned for Chad to be quiet but he continued. "You had no right to write this! This is private and--fuck Jared!"

"I used fake names! For all the professor knows it's just a story I came up with. What do you care? You're out!"

"No I'm not!" Chad yelled back. Once again Jared felt like someone had physically attacked him and he took a step back.

"What?"

"This is college! I'm... I'm fucking around, Jared! Aside from you and a few friends do you think anyone knows I do this? No!"

"I thought--"

"You thought wrong. You didn't run home to mommy and daddy to tell them you're a fudge packer, did you?" Chad asked bluntly.

Jared's cheeks burned. "No, but--"

"Exactly. Fucking exactly, Jared. What was happening here was supposed to stay here. Fucking freshmen," Chad muttered.

"Like you're so much older and wiser than I am! You're a fucking sophomore, Chad!"

"And I still know more than you do. Take this piece of shit and burn it," Chad spat out, throwing the story at Jared. It hit his chest and fell to the floor.

"So that's it?" Jared asked, trying to grasp what was going on. "This is just over?"

"There was nothing to start! We were fooling around, Jared! That's it!"

"Fine. Get out. Fuck you," Jared replied. He slammed the door as soon as Chad walked through it.

~~~

"You're telling me you've never come out here to look around?" Jensen asked as he led Jared down the sidewalk outside Graumann's Chinese theatre.

"I did a school trip back in the day and did the tourist stuff then. I figured that was enough," Jared replied with a shrug.

"I can't believe that, man! C'mon, this place is awesome. It can't have been like this when you were a kid?" Jensen asked. Jared dodged someone in a Jack Sparrow costume who was showing off for tourists and frowned.

"I think I was a little more excited as a kid. Now I think everything's a scam."

"You, my friend," Jensen said, laughing, as he slung an arm around Jared's shoulders. "Need to lighten up. Open up!"

Jared smiled along with Jensen and didn't fight the weight of his arm across his shoulders. Jensen insisted on stopping to try his feet in a couple of the sets in the cement outside the theatre but the area was crowded with too many tourists so they kept moving. Jensen dragged Jared into every gaudy souvenir shop they came across. It was the same thing over and over but Jensen seemed to be having a good time so Jared went along with it and found himself having fun, too.

"From what my friend Sandy says, this area of town gets more exciting once the sun goes down. Celebrities and whatnot," Jared said as they walked down the street.

"Sandy?" Jensen asked.

"Just a friend," Jared replied with a smile. "She'll... be around." Jared waved his hand. "She just shows up, really."

"So you do have one friend around here," Jensen teased.

"Yeah, but just the one," Jared deadpanned and for a second, then laughed loudly.

"You're getting the hang of this fun stuff, huh?"

"I have fun!" Jared tried to protest. "I just make my own fun."

"Sure," Jensen teased, but he was smiling. "You're not too bad, Padalecki." The way Jensen grinned at him, squinting into the sun because he forgot his sunglasses and like he was totally devoted to Jared made his palms sweaty. He wanted to grin back but he knew if he did he'd look psychotic. Before he could figure out how to react Jensen turned his head sharply as he grabbed Jared's arm to pull him further down the sidewalk.

"Ever gotten your photo taken with Gene Simmons and Elvis at once?"

Jared started to shake his head and tried to protest but Jensen grabbed his shirt, pulled a disposable camera out of his pocket and coaxed Jared into the picture. Jensen put his hand at the small of Jared's back for a brief moment while a random passerby snapped the photo and it felt like it was burning through Jared's shirt.

Turned out Jared didn't mind sight seeing as much as he thought he would. He even asked Jensen for a copy of the photo when they got developed, and then promptly felt like a dork. Jensen grinned but didn't call him on it.

It was a good day.

~~~

Once upon a time Jared used to do his best work at night. Now he was lucky if he could write an email. He often sat in the dark, staring at his screen. Sometimes he played solitaire, sometimes he wrote random nonsense that popped into his head, remembering back in high school one of his teachers would make him free write for five minutes at a time. Nothing ever seemed to come of it, except the same word over and over. Now it was a long list of things Jared would like to be doing instead of sitting at the computer free writing.

Sometimes Jared stayed up long enough that he could see the sunrise. It was his favourite time of day whether he was still up or just waking. He wasn't sure if he was going to make it to sunrise today because he was growing increasingly frustrated with the words refusing to come to him. What drove him crazier was that for the past couple days, after his interactions with Jensen, he was able to write. Really write, in a way he couldn't remember since he was in the middle of his last book. Maybe even since Chad.

Jared didn't want to entertain the idea that Jensen was inspiring him to write. That was ludicrous to him and he wouldn't allow it. He wouldn't.

It was looking like he didn't have much choice in the matter, though. A tentative character was forming, modeling itself around his new neighbour. He could picture the man in his book clearly now and he had a personality. He had a face and eyes and hair. He had a name.

But it wasn't Jensen.

Jared loathed that Jensen, someone he'd just met, had such control over his mind. He knew he shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth but if the inspiration was, indeed, coming as a result of Jensen being in his life he felt that he would become too attached to Jensen. Jared wasn't sure if it was that he wasn't ready for that or if he simply didn't want anyone like that in his life.

As luck would have it, Jensen arrived at home at that moment. Jared liked having the windows open at night so he could hear the sounds of Los Angeles at night. He found the muted sounds calming at times. Tonight he also got to hear Jensen as he stumbled through his backyard and to his door. It sounded like someone had accompanied him, as well.

"Just, careful there. Er, yeah," Jensen said to his guest, trying to be quiet but not succeeding at all as he jangled his keys, likely trying to find the right one. Jared carefully stood up from his desk and sat on the edge right by the window so he could lean against the sill to listen better..

"Nice house," Jensen's guest said, louder than Jensen had been speaking.

"Shhh," Jensen shushed with a drunk laugh that sounded more like a giggle. "My neighbour has dogs. They might be outside or something."

"Who cares? They'll be able to hear us all night," the guest said. Jared jerked his head back and forth and squinted as best as he could, trying to make out silhouettes on the other side of the fence. He wasn't sure if he was really seeing something or if it was his imagination getting the best of him but he thought he saw Jensen's guest walk up behind him and grab his ass, then spin him around and kiss him hard. Jared cocked his head to hear better and could have sworn he heard the sounds of smacking and moaning.

"Come on," Jensen said huskily. There were some other hushed whispers and laughs as Jensen sloppily tried to get his key into the lock on the back door and then finally it shut behind them as they disappeared into the house.

Jared stayed by the window for a few more minutes, waiting in vain in case the guest left exceedingly early. No such luck, as Jared waiting for over ten minutes with no sign of anyone leaving next door.

He sat down at the computer again and brought up the document he'd been working on since Jensen moved in. With his mouth set in an angry line he started typing furiously about the character in his new story. Before he knew it the character had taken on new layers and facets of a personality Jared would never have thought up on his own.

~~~

Jared got to see the sunrise that morning. He continued to write long after Jensen came home until he had about thirty pages of plot and rough dialogue mapped out. He didn't know if any of it was good or even if it would be something publishable but when he finally sat back and flexed his wrists, realizing how much they ached, he was content and satisfied by what he'd been able to produce.

He basked in that satisfaction for about three seconds before he heard Jensen's back door open. Finally the guest was leaving. Jared jumped up and took his spot by the window again, able to get a better view now that it was lighter outside. He saw Jensen at the back door as the guest stepped outside, then turned around.

"Thanks for last night," he said.

"Sure," Jensen replied easily. He shrugged it off and started to close the door but the other guy put his hand up and held it open.

"Want to get together tonight?"

Jensen made a non-committal sound. "Probably not. I'm not really looking for anything serious, you know?"

"I'm not either," the guy replied and Jared could hear the smile in his voice.

"I'm not looking for anything not-serious either. We had a good night. Let's leave it at that."

"Right. Whatever," the guy replied, now sounding pissed off. "You're kind of an asshole, you know that?"

"Thanks for playing," Jensen dismissed the guy and closed the door in his face. Jared watched as the guy stormed out of the yard. A few minutes later he heard a car rev up and pull away from the curb quickly, tires squealing. Jared slumped against the wall and bit his lip. At least he knew he was justified in his growing interest in Jensen that was not completely friend-related. But Jared would never act on the information... would he?

Jared yawned and was suddenly aware of how exhausted he was. He would normally take the dogs out for a run before he crashed but he didn't think it was going to happen this time. He fed them quickly, let them out for a quick run in the backyard and then let them in with the promise of a longer run later. They cocked their heads at him and panted so Jared took that as an okay.

He collapsed into his bed and didn't even pull the blanket over himself before he was out. He fell asleep quickly, dreaming about how betrayed the dogs would be if he kicked them out in the morning.

Part 2