Mistletoe Kisses'08 - 2009 REDUX Omake

Dec 24, 2009 02:40

[Characters]: Matsumoto, Rukia, Orihime, Unohana, Kukaku, Yoruichi, Yachiru, Soifon, Tatsuki, Nemu, Halibel.
[Pairings]: Yoruichi/Soifon & Kukaku/Yuroichi
[Summary]: "Is it just me or are all the guys in this room gay?! I mean, look at us! We can't possibly be that bad looking women?!"
[Word Count]: ~700 words
[Finished]: 19.December.2009
[Beta]: Not beta-read
[Warnings]: This chapter contains mentions of girl/girl action. It's very mild but since this started out as a boy/boy story I thought I should warn the readers. It is also a parody to my (and a lot of other slash writers) tendency too make everyone male in fandom gay and completely eradicate women.
[Rating]: PG-13

«Chapter 12 /// Epilogue»

Disclaimer: Do not own Bleach and will not make a profit out of this fic. All characters © Kubo Tite

At the Shinigami Women Association table a climate of resentment had settled. Between cups of sake, beer and eggnog, Matsumoto pointed out the thing that was probably going through every mind at the table.

"Is it just me or are all the guys in this room gay?! I mean, look at us! We can't possibly be that bad looking women?!"

Adjusting her glasses, Nanao agreed, "yes, indeed. And it isn't just the Shinigami, the Arrancar seem to be doing exactly the same thing."

"Really! What's wrong with these men? Here's a table full of gorgeous women and they are out there kissing and hugging each other as if the female gender was never created!" Matsumoto huffed outraged, setting her cup on the table with a bang.

"Maybe there's something in the air," Nemu suggests, eyeing the air with an analytical gaze. "Mayuri-sama should look into it before it becomes an epidemic."

"It already is an epidemic!" Rukia exclaimed and added pointing at Szayel, "that Arrancar there went from Division member to Division member kissing and groping, skipping all the girls."

"Yeah, he did the same thing back in Hueco Mundo. Kissed all the good looking Arrancar, forgoing all the girls," Halibel added to the conversation.

"Well, I can't say I see a problem with it at all. All the more girls for me," Kukaku leered, taking a quick glance of the women around the table.

"See! It already is an epidemic! And it's spreading to the women as well," Rukia said, a little panicky.

The women all look at each other with expressions ranging from appalled to interested, to a few disgusted faces until Kukaku clarified, "If by the epidemic spreading to the women, you're meaning me? Rest assured, I've always been this! Ain't that right, Yoruichi?"

Yoruichi grinned and nodded. "Yep, I can totally vouch for that."

"Yoruichi-sama!!!" Soifon cried out and both Kukaku and Yoruichi chuckled.

"Chill, Soifon," Kukaku assured her. "She's all yours now!"

And at this Soifon blushed furiously. Taking pity on her, Yoruichi stepped up to her and kissed her forehead gently, reassuringly.

"Perhaps it has something to do with this Human Season that incites Love, Companionship and Peace, neh? What d you think, Orihime-chan, Tatsuki-chan?" Nanao asked.

All eyes turned towards the human girls. Orihime smiled and answered, "Err... I'm not sure it works quite this way on Earth. I've never seen anything like this happen, there. But maybe it has something to do with the air in Soul Society. Oh," she realised, "but then it also happened on Hueco Mundo..."

"Whatever it is, I don't think it's contagious or affecting the women," Unohana declared.

"Except for the ones already gay to begin with," Tatsuki added.

"I have to say I'm quite enjoying the entertainment," Hinamori snickered, eyeing the amorous male Shinigami and Arrancar,

It seemed to dispel the resentment and joy and merriment flowed through the table reaching all the girls.

"Hey, how about a drinking game," Kukaku suggested a while later, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"That game, Kukaku?" Matsumoto asked and at Kukaku's assent, grinned. "Oh, this is gonna be so much fun!"

"What's the game like?" Yachiru asked, immediately interested.

"It goes like this," Kukaku explained, "boys, and to make this funnier, girls as well, are named and whoever has kissed the named person has to drink a shot. And by kissed, I mean really kissed. Not just some peck in the face." At the nervous murmur going through the table and to avoid quitters, she amended the rules. "We'll leave tongues out of it. For now."

"You'll be drinking the juice, Yachiru," Nanao added quickly, in case the little Shinigami got any ideas.

Unconcerned, Yachiru agreed quickly, "okey-dokey!"

"Oh, and the most outrageous pair we discover in each round gets to spill the beans," Yoruichi added, gleefully. "Are you girls game?"

There were some reluctant "Yes", several enthusiastic "Hell Yeah" and a few subdued "Sure".

"So to start things easy, first round let's start with a popular guy. Kurosaki Ichigo, who kissed him?"

An excited buzz went across the table.

December2009©MarinLilizNext: Epilogue

«"Let us go home My Hollows."»

«Chapter 12 /// Epilogue»

[mistletoe kisses'08], !bleach, #fanfiction

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