Comments | margaretc: Well, crap.

margaretc

Well, crap.

Jul 10, 2007 16:39

Doug Marlette died in a car crash this morning. (Think Kudzu).

My longtime friend (really more like another brother) is moving to another job. This dismays me greatly, although I am very happy for him. I am not entirely sure why this dismays me so, except that I rather fancied him my protector for my first year here ( Read more... )

aargh, sca, random thoughts, duke

Comments 18

baronalejandro July 10 2007, 21:15:44 UTC

Out of curiosity, why do you want a peer?

margaretc July 11 2007, 00:36:03 UTC

Mostly because I see having a peer 'working' for other folks. And when I say 'working', I mean specifically things like Lucia guiding Livia and Jennie, and Lucia and Jennie working together to get Livia 'presentable' for court, and so on. I crave recognition. I've not done much to warrant it lately, but as I finish up my 17th year in the SCA, I look around and wonder if I'm playing the same game everyone else is playing. I'm not at all sure I am. I'm not even sure I'm playing the same game anyone else is playing.

baronalejandro July 11 2007, 00:55:53 UTC

What kind of recognition? SCA awards? I want you to take several days and think about that very, very carefully. Because desiring SCA recognition is the number one fastest way to heartbreak I know. Hands down.

margaretc July 11 2007, 01:23:46 UTC

Not really any more, although I used to. I'm more interested in people recognizing my face after meeting me for the 37th time. Some people do manage to do this, and every once in a great while someone gets the drop on me, but usually it's the other way 'round. I now assume that I'm not recognized, rather than that I am. For example, I swear I knew Efenwealt for 5 years before he remembered my name, and you I first met at spring Coronation 1997 (Cuan & Bera), or possibly Ymir that year.

This is extremely frustrating and I don't know what the hell to do about it. It's gotten to the point where I'm actually surprised when someone does recognize me (which is kind of pitiful if you think about it).

Thread 6

dameroksanne July 10 2007, 21:50:20 UTC

Whoa. Hey, take a breath. Let me know if I am out of line but that is just frustration talking......the little things building themselves into larger ones.

This is not a race. There is no finish line. You are only in competition with yourself. Now, this is perhaps untrue of the fighting community but as artists it is only about being our best. I started playing in 1996 and was Laureled in 2003. It was not about politics or time in. I did the work! I....spoke the language in voice they had never heard....so to speak.

Have no fear of your SCA career being 'rewound'.

I am a Peer, but more importantly....your friend.

If you need to chat off the record about things that bother you, without fear of that conversation biting you later, you can talk to me.

(I had a mishap and sprained my foot-two days ago. I have it on a block of ice right now. I had to walk on hot tarmac today and I limped home this afternoon. Waaaaah)

margaretc July 11 2007, 01:28:57 UTC

Love to chat, and I'd love to take you up on that. I'm easy to find - margaretcochrane at earthlink.net

herveus July 11 2007, 12:23:07 UTC

Chats with Roxie can be very illuminating. I highly recommend taking her up on it.

margaretc July 11 2007, 00:38:51 UTC

I did write a bit more on these topics here.

I might need a mentor or an advocate more than I need a peer, but I often feel like I don't have anyone at all batting for me.

herveus July 11 2007, 12:25:33 UTC

What are you looking to get out of a formal relationship with a peer?

margaretc July 11 2007, 13:26:21 UTC

I don't know. I don't know what there is to get, since I don't have such. It's a little like wanting a social relationship because everyone around you has such, but not knowing why you want it.

herveus July 11 2007, 17:16:48 UTC

OK. Are you looking for someone to help you improve your art?

Are you looking for someone to teach you how to do stuff (new/better)?

Are you looking for someone to be a sounding board for your ideas?

Are you looking for someone you can call up and get emo with? To let out the drama in a controlled and safe setting? To act as a sanity/reality check?

Are you looking for someone to be your advocate? To be a channel for others to share concerns about you through?

Are you looking for someone to suck up to? For someone who needs to be sucked up to?

There are many potential aspects of that sort of relationship. Each relationship is (or ought to be) individually crafted to meet the needs of both parties.

margaretc July 11 2007, 17:34:04 UTC

OK. Are you looking for someone to help you improve your art?
Some, yes.

Are you looking for someone to teach you how to do stuff (new/better)?
Definitely

Are you looking for someone to be a sounding board for your ideas?
Very much so

Are you looking for someone you can call up and get emo with? To let out the drama in a controlled and safe setting? To act as a sanity/reality check?
Some

Are you looking for someone to be your advocate? To be a channel for others to share concerns about you through?
Yes

Are you looking for someone to suck up to? For someone who needs to be sucked up to?
Definitely not.

There are many potential aspects of that sort of relationship. Each relationship is (or ought to be) individually crafted to meet the needs of both parties.
I'd like someone I can laugh with, this is important. And someone I can hang out with (if I ever get any hanging-out time again, that is).

Thread 7

soucyn July 11 2007, 14:22:18 UTC

Well, I can say this, I consider it a good thing that you can rationally examine your feelings, and keep them from causing harm. Not that I have anything to say about it, but that seems like one of those Peer Like Qualities that we should all aspire too. If only others were as able to examine themselves such...

And as Guenievre said, it takes balls to admit your jealousy, so another +1 to you on that.