Fanfic: Best laid plans... 11/?
Best laid plans 11/..
By Marea67
About: Kevin, Scotty, with some McCallisters and Walkers running around as well.
Rate: This chapter: G
Disclaimer: Not mine. Written with love, not for money.
Summary: That the trouble with good plans... they can go wrong...
AU!!!!!!!!! THIS IS AN AU(=Alternate universe) so things will be most likely different from the original version. Read at your own risk. Don't blame me if you don't like what you read! Not set in any time/place in particular.
*****
“Are you alright?” Kevin asks, when Scotty sits down next to him again.
“Yeah.” Scotty answers. “Jason just felt the need to tell me that he thought it was inappropriate of me to sleep with you, when I’m his boyfriend.”
“What?”
“Yes, for some delusional reason he thinks that I’m still his boyfriend and that I slept with you to get back at him. I think that he thinks that he’s the centre of my life or something. I hope I got through to him, that he and I are through.”
“I hope so too.” Kevin nods.
“Can we go outside for a bit? I could use some fresh air.” Scotty asks.
“Yes, of course.” Kevin answers and he gets up. Nora looks at them and Kevin explains with some concern on his face. “Scotty thinks that something about breakfast didn’t agree with him. He could use some fresh air.”
*****
The fact that Kevin and Scotty leave the group is a sign for Rose to get up as well.
“I forgot to check if I brought my phone with me. I think it’s upstairs.” She rushes up the stairs and quickly finds her bag. As she goes through it, searching for her phone, she notices again how stuffy it is in the room.
She opens the window a bit and at the same time she can hear her name mentioned.
“Kevin, shouldn’t we at least say something to Rose?” It’s Scotty’s voice. She frowns.
“I don’t know. I’ve been wondering the same thing. She seems like a nice girl. I don’t want her to get hurt. But it will be our word against Jason’s and I don’t think she’ll believe us.”
“I know, I’ve been struggling with this myself. I think that she should know that Jason is gay.” Scotty’s words make Rose cover her mouth with her hand, so she won’t make a noise... She had heard the rumours, but she hadn't believed them.
“Yes, but I’m not sure that we’re the ones who should break the news to her though.”
“Who else will tell her? Jason? He’s only interested in her money and the impact her family can have on his career. Robert or Eleanor? They’re both bigots who still refuse to see Jason for what he is. No one can tell her.” Scotty points out, but Kevin shakes his head.
“I think that sooner or later her family will find out. I’ve had a look at the Carter-family. They are indeed very rich and very influential, but Jason is playing with fire here. If Rose indeed doesn’t know that he’s gay, and she’ll find out later, this can explode in Jason’s face in a terrible way. The Carters will exterminate him.”
“Kevin, he’s your friend. He’s your ex-boyfriend. And mine. Can we really stand by and do nothing while he will ends up hurting an innocent girl?”
“That’s exactly it. I don’t know Rose. I owe her nothing. And Jason, for better or for worse, is still a friend. I don’t want to see Rose hurt, because she doesn’t deserve to get lied at by Jason any more than you did, but ... I’m not going to stab Jason in the back either...” Kevin hesitates. “Let’s not do anything hasty... perhaps we should give Jason some ultimatum and let him tell her the truth himself.. Or something like that?”
There’s a silence in which Scotty seems to think about Kevin’s words.
“Maybe you’re right. I don’t know. I need to think a little longer...” Scotty says. Upstairs, in front of the slightly opened window, Rose listens at how they walk away. Finally she dares to move.
She sits down on the bed. The bed she was suppose to share with Jason, while impatiently waiting for him to become her husband. She lets Kevin and Scotty’s words go through her head. She filters them, tries to find where she could have misunderstood something, but she knows she hasn’t. She hasn’t misunderstood a single word. Jason is gay and he’s marrying her for her money.
*****
Eleanor puts the dishes on the table and watches how Nora puts them away in the dish-washer.
“I’m happy that Kevin has found Scotty.” She says. “Scotty seems like such a nice young man.”
“He is.” Nora answers.
“I’m sure Kevin will be very happy with him, you can see from their faces that they are so much in love with each other. I think you did a good job raising him the way you did, with all the love he could need. It’s too bad that Scotty’s parents were so homophobic.”
“Yesssss...” Nora turns to her, wondering how Eleanor can judge Scotty’s parents when she’s no better herself. If only Jason had felt safe enough to come out...
“Can I tell you something really crazy?” Eleanor suddenly asks.
“Has it ever stopped you before?” Nora tries to joke.
“I... I always thought that... Don’t laugh,... but I always believed that Jason was gay too. I’ve been waiting so long for him to come out. Robert has always suspected the same thing. I can’t begin to tell you how weird it is to see Jason in love with a girl, while I was pretty sure he’d come home with a man some day.
A few years ago, I even believed that there was something going on between your son and mine. I ... I could already see us organizing their wedding... How silly am I?” She seems really embarrassed and Nora grabs one of the other kitchen-chairs.
“You would have wanted a marriage between our sons?” She asks flabbergasted.
“I know, it’s silly.”
“But ... I know we never talked about it, because I didn’t want to fight with you or your family about politics, but I always thought that, as a Republican, you’d be against same-sex marriage and such.”
“Perhaps as Republicans we should be against it, but, no, Robert and I have always felt that marriage equality is important, and though I suppose that the fact that we both believed Jason to be gay was an important reason for that, I’ve never been against it.”
“Perhaps you should made that more clear to Jason?” Nora wonders.
“Oh, Jason knows. Robert and I have always openly discussed this with him. I think that I wanted him to know that if he did feel the need to come out, then he could do it. That I would love him regardless. Just like you had done with Kevin. But Jason never said a word about being gay...
And suddenly he’s engaged to Rose. I guess I made a mistake somewhere along the way, but... I was so sure of it...Just like you had been about Kevin.” Eleanor sighs. Nora digests the information she just received. So Eleanor and Robert are not homophobes, they support gay people and gay marriage.... Jason knew.... Jason lied... Again.
Because she knows from experience that politics is a dangerous topic to discuss and she never wanted to fight with Eleanor, she never confronted Eleanor with the ‘knowledge’ that she was anti-gay. She had accepted Jason’s words without questioning them, like everyone else had. ... If she had known Eleanor’s thoughts years ago...
She shakes her head. Nora tells herself that it’s all water under the bridge. Kevin and Scotty are in a good place, that is all that should matter to her. But she knows that it doesn’t work like that. There’s the lies that have been told. She cannot ignore them anymore.
And there’s Rose. Can she really stand by, knowing what she knows, and shut up and wait for that starry-eyed girl, who seems genuinely in love with Jason, to get hurt? What if instead of Rose it would have been Kitty or Sarah? She takes a deep breath.
“Eleanor, I think that we need to talk about a thing or two...” Nora starts.
*****
“I thought we were complete. There’s a car coming up here.” Tommy says, looking through the window.
“That looks like Rose’s parents.” Jason is surprised to see them show up here, because they live on the other side of town.
At that moment the kitchen door flings open with incredible force and Eleanor storms out of the kitchen. She no longer looks like a gentle, elegant and calm lady. Instead, she looks like she’s about to commit a murder.
“Jason Eric McCallister! I want to talk to you!” And it’s obviously not a request.
Upstairs a door closes with force and Rose rushes down the stairs, clearly upset, her face still swollen from crying, but with a look on her face that betray outrage, rather than pain.
“Rose, what’s going on?” Jason asks.
Rose turns to him, walks up to him and hits him so hard in the face that his nose begins to bleed.
“You bastard! You liar! I believed you.!. Oh, I had my doubts, as did my dad, but I really wanted to believe that you weren’t gay. That you weren’t just using me...”
“How...? What...?” Jason stammers confused. An angry mother and an angry girlfriend! What is going on? For 2 seconds only, Rose’s eyes rest on Kevin and Scotty, who seem as confused as Jason is, and she knows at that moment she can’t betray them, it wouldn’t be fair to the two persons who wanted to make Jason tell her the truth.
“My father found out that you lead a secret double life in New York. Pretending that you’re straight, while you quietly sleep around with men!” She guesses, figuring that if Jason can lie, so can she. Her guess seems to hit home, because Jason seems to know exactly what she’s talking about.
“Rose...” he starts to apologize, but she shakes her head.
“Don’t! I don’t want t hear some lame excuse. I don’t want to hear another lie... I’m done! My father is here to pick me up... I never want to see you again...” Rose turns on her heels, her face is blank, but she’s not fooling anyone.
Everyone knows that she trying her best to maintain her dignity. She can see Justin nod at her in appreciation. She swallows hard and marches to the door. She passes Eleanor and she sees the pain in the woman’s eyes. It’s clear that both women want to talk, but neither of them does, instead Rose just walks out the door.
The silence after Rose’s leaving is heavy. Everyone is staring at the door, as if they’re expecting her to come back for an encore, but all they hear is a car-door closing and a car speeding away. Jason feels like his head in spinning. How could Rose’s father have found out? He has always been very discrete. Unless...
He turns to Kevin and Scotty, but one look at them tells him that they are as dumbfounded about Rose’s reaction as he is. So, they never saw this coming either. He looks at the others, all in various states of shock. Then his eyes meet those of his mother.
“How could you?” It’s all Eleanor asks. “How could you do this to her, to me, to your brother, to the rest of our family? After everything I’ve done. I’ve supported gay rights since before the term was created. I’ve always believed in you. I’ve waited and waited for you to come out, believing that I had created an atmosphere where you’d be free to be who you are....”
“What are you talking about, mom?” Robert asks.
“He’s been telling everyone that he can’t come out because you and I are sooooo homophobic... And that he could lose us... You know that many gay men have suffered from having been ostracized by their own families…
And you used that pain to protect yourself from coming out and be honest. You lied… And if you wouldn’t have known better… If we would have displayed even the least bit of a hint that we would have been ashamed or disgusted if you were gay, then I’d understand.
But Robert and I have always been supportive. Maybe not so vocal in public, but definitely towards you… You knew. You’ve always known that you would be loved and protected. By us.”
“You lied about that too?” Scotty slowly gets up from his chair.
“You knew that my family had thrown me out, you knew how hurt I was, you held me when I cried and you said you’d do anything to take away my pain… All that was a lie? You knew all along that your family would never do you what mine did to me? You only used my pain to make me shut up about your coming out?”
“Mom, …Scotty, …” Jason’s eyes fill with tears. He had never meant to hurt anyone. He had just never really thought of someone else’s feelings. It’s all becoming too much for Scotty and he walks away, up the stairs towards the room that he shares with Kevin.
“How could you?” Kevin asks. But when Jason opens his mouth to say something, Kevin waves it away. “No, don’t bother. I don’t want to hear more excuses… I’m done. I think it be better if I went to Scotty….” Kevin turns towards the stairs, but then turns back to Jason. “And Jase…? I never, ever, want to see you again….”
Jason watches Kevin walk away and a sudden loss cuts through him. Jason turns to his mother…
“I’m sorry, mom, though you always made me believe that I could be honest, I never wanted you to be ashamed of me, because I’m gay.”
“But now I am ashamed of you. Not because you’re gay, but because you lied for so long and to so many people and you hurt people who didn’t deserve it,….” Eleanor’s voice breaks and Nora rushes to her, as does Robert and together then gently push Eleanor towards the kitchen.
William walks up to Jason and, for a brief moment, Jason is afraid that William will hit as well, but William merely straightens his back.
“I think you better leave, get a hotel-room and wait for your mother to calm down and regain herself.”
“I will leave for now, we’ll see tomorrow.” Jason answers feeling a little lost.
“You’re not coming back here.” William says with a very deliberate calmness. “You hurt your mother and you hurt my son. You’re not welcome under this roof anymore.” Jason opens his mouth to protest, but then changes his mind. He has nothing to say in his defense.
*****
William knocks on the door of the room where Kevin and Scotty sleep and Kevin opens up.
“How’s Scotty?”
“Calmed down.” Kevin answers.
“Good. Your mother thought he could use this.” William holds up the tray. Kevin smiles.
“Tea. The answer to all grief in the world?” he jokes. William smiles as well.
“She remembered that she still had some cinnamon-tea.”
“I’m sure Scotty will appreciate it. I’ll give it to him.”
“Actually, … I’d rather give it to him myself. Your brothers are a bit worried about you and Scotty. Why don’t you go talk to them for a while?” William suggests.
“You want me to leave you two alone?”
“I do.” William answers. “Nothing serious. Just want a quiet chat…” Kevin nods and William watches him go downstairs. William enters the room and places the tea next to Scotty.
“How are you?” He asks. Scotty shrugs.
“I’ll survive. I can’t believe that he used my own past against me…”
“What happened when you came out?”
“I didn’t so much come out…. My teacher walked in on me and my then-boyfriend, while we were kissing. He informed my parents. My mom was livid! She wanted me to say that the other boy had forced himself on me. But I refused.
My mom got really angry. She accused me of being sinner, going to hell and such. She said she would destroy me if I kept embarrassing her like that, there was the name-calling, the threat that she would disown me… and then she told me to get out of her house. And her life. And she meant it.
You have to know that my mom controlled the money in our house… My dad worked for my grandfather, my mom’s father… He was depending on her… She knew… So when she kicked me out, he no longer wanted to support me either. He gave me some money though… About 2000 dollars… That was all.
I left my family’s house, the town, my life as I knew it. I just left. First to Oxford, to the family of my then-boyfriend, but … it was tough. They were slightly more accepting than my own family, but not by much… I stayed until I could no longer the insults at my address. I left again…
I walked, hitch-hiked, slept in the weirdest places… I was numb, empty… I just survived day by day. I was as careful with my money as I could. Did little jobs here and there and eventually met Jake, a truck-driver. He was gay. He was kind. He was decent. I got in the cabin of his truck and I travelled all over America for nearly two years with him...
Weren’t bad years, but … not what I wanted either. Eventually he had a job that would bring us to New York and that’s where I broke up with him and went my own way… Jake had thought me to be independent though, how to manage my money, how to apply for a job… I couldn’t have survived without him.
It was a hard learning process. With no help from my parents. I felt the loss of a home. Of stability. Of safety. I would never have wanted Jason to feel what I felt… I would never have wanted anyone to feel what I felt. So, for Jason to use my desire, to protect him from pain, against me….” Scotty shakes his head, unable to finish his sentence.
William lets the words sink in before he can finally ask what he came for.
“Do you know a Wally Wandell?” He asks.
“That’s my father’s name… Why?”
“He’s business-partner of ours, though he works mostly with my daughter. None of us had connected him to you.”
William isn’t sure how to continue. With what Scotty has just told him, he’s not sure that Scotty will want to talk to Wally and he has no idea of how he would have tell this to Wally. Wally had seemed so desperate to get back in touch with Scotty.
“And?” Scotty asks.
“He contacted me this morning. He had seen the pictures that Nora had posted of you and Kevin on Facebook. He’s been looking for you for quite a while… I think he wants to talk to you. But if you don’t want to talk to him, I will respect your choice and tell him so.”
“I never want to meet my mother again, but I’ll talk to my dad. Not my mother... Just my dad.” Scotty repeats. William takes a deep breath.
“I'm afraid that I have something I should tell you, Scotty. The reason why Wally is looking for you, is because your mother died five years ago… I’m sorry…”
Scotty blinks at William’s news. His mother is dead? He had decided that he would never speak to her again, but … he had never wanted her dead…
“Do you want me to get in touch with Wally?” William asks.
“Yes,…please.” Scotty whispers.
*****
END OF PART 11
*****
By Marea67
About: Kevin, Scotty, with some McCallisters and Walkers running around as well.
Rate: This chapter: G
Disclaimer: Not mine. Written with love, not for money.
Summary: That the trouble with good plans... they can go wrong...
AU!!!!!!!!! THIS IS AN AU(=Alternate universe) so things will be most likely different from the original version. Read at your own risk. Don't blame me if you don't like what you read! Not set in any time/place in particular.
*****
“Are you alright?” Kevin asks, when Scotty sits down next to him again.
“Yeah.” Scotty answers. “Jason just felt the need to tell me that he thought it was inappropriate of me to sleep with you, when I’m his boyfriend.”
“What?”
“Yes, for some delusional reason he thinks that I’m still his boyfriend and that I slept with you to get back at him. I think that he thinks that he’s the centre of my life or something. I hope I got through to him, that he and I are through.”
“I hope so too.” Kevin nods.
“Can we go outside for a bit? I could use some fresh air.” Scotty asks.
“Yes, of course.” Kevin answers and he gets up. Nora looks at them and Kevin explains with some concern on his face. “Scotty thinks that something about breakfast didn’t agree with him. He could use some fresh air.”
*****
The fact that Kevin and Scotty leave the group is a sign for Rose to get up as well.
“I forgot to check if I brought my phone with me. I think it’s upstairs.” She rushes up the stairs and quickly finds her bag. As she goes through it, searching for her phone, she notices again how stuffy it is in the room.
She opens the window a bit and at the same time she can hear her name mentioned.
“Kevin, shouldn’t we at least say something to Rose?” It’s Scotty’s voice. She frowns.
“I don’t know. I’ve been wondering the same thing. She seems like a nice girl. I don’t want her to get hurt. But it will be our word against Jason’s and I don’t think she’ll believe us.”
“I know, I’ve been struggling with this myself. I think that she should know that Jason is gay.” Scotty’s words make Rose cover her mouth with her hand, so she won’t make a noise... She had heard the rumours, but she hadn't believed them.
“Yes, but I’m not sure that we’re the ones who should break the news to her though.”
“Who else will tell her? Jason? He’s only interested in her money and the impact her family can have on his career. Robert or Eleanor? They’re both bigots who still refuse to see Jason for what he is. No one can tell her.” Scotty points out, but Kevin shakes his head.
“I think that sooner or later her family will find out. I’ve had a look at the Carter-family. They are indeed very rich and very influential, but Jason is playing with fire here. If Rose indeed doesn’t know that he’s gay, and she’ll find out later, this can explode in Jason’s face in a terrible way. The Carters will exterminate him.”
“Kevin, he’s your friend. He’s your ex-boyfriend. And mine. Can we really stand by and do nothing while he will ends up hurting an innocent girl?”
“That’s exactly it. I don’t know Rose. I owe her nothing. And Jason, for better or for worse, is still a friend. I don’t want to see Rose hurt, because she doesn’t deserve to get lied at by Jason any more than you did, but ... I’m not going to stab Jason in the back either...” Kevin hesitates. “Let’s not do anything hasty... perhaps we should give Jason some ultimatum and let him tell her the truth himself.. Or something like that?”
There’s a silence in which Scotty seems to think about Kevin’s words.
“Maybe you’re right. I don’t know. I need to think a little longer...” Scotty says. Upstairs, in front of the slightly opened window, Rose listens at how they walk away. Finally she dares to move.
She sits down on the bed. The bed she was suppose to share with Jason, while impatiently waiting for him to become her husband. She lets Kevin and Scotty’s words go through her head. She filters them, tries to find where she could have misunderstood something, but she knows she hasn’t. She hasn’t misunderstood a single word. Jason is gay and he’s marrying her for her money.
*****
Eleanor puts the dishes on the table and watches how Nora puts them away in the dish-washer.
“I’m happy that Kevin has found Scotty.” She says. “Scotty seems like such a nice young man.”
“He is.” Nora answers.
“I’m sure Kevin will be very happy with him, you can see from their faces that they are so much in love with each other. I think you did a good job raising him the way you did, with all the love he could need. It’s too bad that Scotty’s parents were so homophobic.”
“Yesssss...” Nora turns to her, wondering how Eleanor can judge Scotty’s parents when she’s no better herself. If only Jason had felt safe enough to come out...
“Can I tell you something really crazy?” Eleanor suddenly asks.
“Has it ever stopped you before?” Nora tries to joke.
“I... I always thought that... Don’t laugh,... but I always believed that Jason was gay too. I’ve been waiting so long for him to come out. Robert has always suspected the same thing. I can’t begin to tell you how weird it is to see Jason in love with a girl, while I was pretty sure he’d come home with a man some day.
A few years ago, I even believed that there was something going on between your son and mine. I ... I could already see us organizing their wedding... How silly am I?” She seems really embarrassed and Nora grabs one of the other kitchen-chairs.
“You would have wanted a marriage between our sons?” She asks flabbergasted.
“I know, it’s silly.”
“But ... I know we never talked about it, because I didn’t want to fight with you or your family about politics, but I always thought that, as a Republican, you’d be against same-sex marriage and such.”
“Perhaps as Republicans we should be against it, but, no, Robert and I have always felt that marriage equality is important, and though I suppose that the fact that we both believed Jason to be gay was an important reason for that, I’ve never been against it.”
“Perhaps you should made that more clear to Jason?” Nora wonders.
“Oh, Jason knows. Robert and I have always openly discussed this with him. I think that I wanted him to know that if he did feel the need to come out, then he could do it. That I would love him regardless. Just like you had done with Kevin. But Jason never said a word about being gay...
And suddenly he’s engaged to Rose. I guess I made a mistake somewhere along the way, but... I was so sure of it...Just like you had been about Kevin.” Eleanor sighs. Nora digests the information she just received. So Eleanor and Robert are not homophobes, they support gay people and gay marriage.... Jason knew.... Jason lied... Again.
Because she knows from experience that politics is a dangerous topic to discuss and she never wanted to fight with Eleanor, she never confronted Eleanor with the ‘knowledge’ that she was anti-gay. She had accepted Jason’s words without questioning them, like everyone else had. ... If she had known Eleanor’s thoughts years ago...
She shakes her head. Nora tells herself that it’s all water under the bridge. Kevin and Scotty are in a good place, that is all that should matter to her. But she knows that it doesn’t work like that. There’s the lies that have been told. She cannot ignore them anymore.
And there’s Rose. Can she really stand by, knowing what she knows, and shut up and wait for that starry-eyed girl, who seems genuinely in love with Jason, to get hurt? What if instead of Rose it would have been Kitty or Sarah? She takes a deep breath.
“Eleanor, I think that we need to talk about a thing or two...” Nora starts.
*****
“I thought we were complete. There’s a car coming up here.” Tommy says, looking through the window.
“That looks like Rose’s parents.” Jason is surprised to see them show up here, because they live on the other side of town.
At that moment the kitchen door flings open with incredible force and Eleanor storms out of the kitchen. She no longer looks like a gentle, elegant and calm lady. Instead, she looks like she’s about to commit a murder.
“Jason Eric McCallister! I want to talk to you!” And it’s obviously not a request.
Upstairs a door closes with force and Rose rushes down the stairs, clearly upset, her face still swollen from crying, but with a look on her face that betray outrage, rather than pain.
“Rose, what’s going on?” Jason asks.
Rose turns to him, walks up to him and hits him so hard in the face that his nose begins to bleed.
“You bastard! You liar! I believed you.!. Oh, I had my doubts, as did my dad, but I really wanted to believe that you weren’t gay. That you weren’t just using me...”
“How...? What...?” Jason stammers confused. An angry mother and an angry girlfriend! What is going on? For 2 seconds only, Rose’s eyes rest on Kevin and Scotty, who seem as confused as Jason is, and she knows at that moment she can’t betray them, it wouldn’t be fair to the two persons who wanted to make Jason tell her the truth.
“My father found out that you lead a secret double life in New York. Pretending that you’re straight, while you quietly sleep around with men!” She guesses, figuring that if Jason can lie, so can she. Her guess seems to hit home, because Jason seems to know exactly what she’s talking about.
“Rose...” he starts to apologize, but she shakes her head.
“Don’t! I don’t want t hear some lame excuse. I don’t want to hear another lie... I’m done! My father is here to pick me up... I never want to see you again...” Rose turns on her heels, her face is blank, but she’s not fooling anyone.
Everyone knows that she trying her best to maintain her dignity. She can see Justin nod at her in appreciation. She swallows hard and marches to the door. She passes Eleanor and she sees the pain in the woman’s eyes. It’s clear that both women want to talk, but neither of them does, instead Rose just walks out the door.
The silence after Rose’s leaving is heavy. Everyone is staring at the door, as if they’re expecting her to come back for an encore, but all they hear is a car-door closing and a car speeding away. Jason feels like his head in spinning. How could Rose’s father have found out? He has always been very discrete. Unless...
He turns to Kevin and Scotty, but one look at them tells him that they are as dumbfounded about Rose’s reaction as he is. So, they never saw this coming either. He looks at the others, all in various states of shock. Then his eyes meet those of his mother.
“How could you?” It’s all Eleanor asks. “How could you do this to her, to me, to your brother, to the rest of our family? After everything I’ve done. I’ve supported gay rights since before the term was created. I’ve always believed in you. I’ve waited and waited for you to come out, believing that I had created an atmosphere where you’d be free to be who you are....”
“What are you talking about, mom?” Robert asks.
“He’s been telling everyone that he can’t come out because you and I are sooooo homophobic... And that he could lose us... You know that many gay men have suffered from having been ostracized by their own families…
And you used that pain to protect yourself from coming out and be honest. You lied… And if you wouldn’t have known better… If we would have displayed even the least bit of a hint that we would have been ashamed or disgusted if you were gay, then I’d understand.
But Robert and I have always been supportive. Maybe not so vocal in public, but definitely towards you… You knew. You’ve always known that you would be loved and protected. By us.”
“You lied about that too?” Scotty slowly gets up from his chair.
“You knew that my family had thrown me out, you knew how hurt I was, you held me when I cried and you said you’d do anything to take away my pain… All that was a lie? You knew all along that your family would never do you what mine did to me? You only used my pain to make me shut up about your coming out?”
“Mom, …Scotty, …” Jason’s eyes fill with tears. He had never meant to hurt anyone. He had just never really thought of someone else’s feelings. It’s all becoming too much for Scotty and he walks away, up the stairs towards the room that he shares with Kevin.
“How could you?” Kevin asks. But when Jason opens his mouth to say something, Kevin waves it away. “No, don’t bother. I don’t want to hear more excuses… I’m done. I think it be better if I went to Scotty….” Kevin turns towards the stairs, but then turns back to Jason. “And Jase…? I never, ever, want to see you again….”
Jason watches Kevin walk away and a sudden loss cuts through him. Jason turns to his mother…
“I’m sorry, mom, though you always made me believe that I could be honest, I never wanted you to be ashamed of me, because I’m gay.”
“But now I am ashamed of you. Not because you’re gay, but because you lied for so long and to so many people and you hurt people who didn’t deserve it,….” Eleanor’s voice breaks and Nora rushes to her, as does Robert and together then gently push Eleanor towards the kitchen.
William walks up to Jason and, for a brief moment, Jason is afraid that William will hit as well, but William merely straightens his back.
“I think you better leave, get a hotel-room and wait for your mother to calm down and regain herself.”
“I will leave for now, we’ll see tomorrow.” Jason answers feeling a little lost.
“You’re not coming back here.” William says with a very deliberate calmness. “You hurt your mother and you hurt my son. You’re not welcome under this roof anymore.” Jason opens his mouth to protest, but then changes his mind. He has nothing to say in his defense.
*****
William knocks on the door of the room where Kevin and Scotty sleep and Kevin opens up.
“How’s Scotty?”
“Calmed down.” Kevin answers.
“Good. Your mother thought he could use this.” William holds up the tray. Kevin smiles.
“Tea. The answer to all grief in the world?” he jokes. William smiles as well.
“She remembered that she still had some cinnamon-tea.”
“I’m sure Scotty will appreciate it. I’ll give it to him.”
“Actually, … I’d rather give it to him myself. Your brothers are a bit worried about you and Scotty. Why don’t you go talk to them for a while?” William suggests.
“You want me to leave you two alone?”
“I do.” William answers. “Nothing serious. Just want a quiet chat…” Kevin nods and William watches him go downstairs. William enters the room and places the tea next to Scotty.
“How are you?” He asks. Scotty shrugs.
“I’ll survive. I can’t believe that he used my own past against me…”
“What happened when you came out?”
“I didn’t so much come out…. My teacher walked in on me and my then-boyfriend, while we were kissing. He informed my parents. My mom was livid! She wanted me to say that the other boy had forced himself on me. But I refused.
My mom got really angry. She accused me of being sinner, going to hell and such. She said she would destroy me if I kept embarrassing her like that, there was the name-calling, the threat that she would disown me… and then she told me to get out of her house. And her life. And she meant it.
You have to know that my mom controlled the money in our house… My dad worked for my grandfather, my mom’s father… He was depending on her… She knew… So when she kicked me out, he no longer wanted to support me either. He gave me some money though… About 2000 dollars… That was all.
I left my family’s house, the town, my life as I knew it. I just left. First to Oxford, to the family of my then-boyfriend, but … it was tough. They were slightly more accepting than my own family, but not by much… I stayed until I could no longer the insults at my address. I left again…
I walked, hitch-hiked, slept in the weirdest places… I was numb, empty… I just survived day by day. I was as careful with my money as I could. Did little jobs here and there and eventually met Jake, a truck-driver. He was gay. He was kind. He was decent. I got in the cabin of his truck and I travelled all over America for nearly two years with him...
Weren’t bad years, but … not what I wanted either. Eventually he had a job that would bring us to New York and that’s where I broke up with him and went my own way… Jake had thought me to be independent though, how to manage my money, how to apply for a job… I couldn’t have survived without him.
It was a hard learning process. With no help from my parents. I felt the loss of a home. Of stability. Of safety. I would never have wanted Jason to feel what I felt… I would never have wanted anyone to feel what I felt. So, for Jason to use my desire, to protect him from pain, against me….” Scotty shakes his head, unable to finish his sentence.
William lets the words sink in before he can finally ask what he came for.
“Do you know a Wally Wandell?” He asks.
“That’s my father’s name… Why?”
“He’s business-partner of ours, though he works mostly with my daughter. None of us had connected him to you.”
William isn’t sure how to continue. With what Scotty has just told him, he’s not sure that Scotty will want to talk to Wally and he has no idea of how he would have tell this to Wally. Wally had seemed so desperate to get back in touch with Scotty.
“And?” Scotty asks.
“He contacted me this morning. He had seen the pictures that Nora had posted of you and Kevin on Facebook. He’s been looking for you for quite a while… I think he wants to talk to you. But if you don’t want to talk to him, I will respect your choice and tell him so.”
“I never want to meet my mother again, but I’ll talk to my dad. Not my mother... Just my dad.” Scotty repeats. William takes a deep breath.
“I'm afraid that I have something I should tell you, Scotty. The reason why Wally is looking for you, is because your mother died five years ago… I’m sorry…”
Scotty blinks at William’s news. His mother is dead? He had decided that he would never speak to her again, but … he had never wanted her dead…
“Do you want me to get in touch with Wally?” William asks.
“Yes,…please.” Scotty whispers.
*****
END OF PART 11
*****