LJ Idol Exhibit B, Week 2 - Nawa Ooo - The Hungry Ghost

[maneless]

Once I was young and bold
and left hundreds of unmatched people out in the cold.That night he told me he chugged a few cups of bleach as a half-hearted suicide attempt at age 21. Feeling inspired, I seized the moment and described the night in Winter 2008 that I washed down drugs with enough vodka to die a half dozen deaths, but managed to get away

Comments

[roina_arwen]

Very stark and evocative at the same time. Brilliant!

[maneless]

thank you so much! xo

[whipchick]

Such an interesting world - neat to see the characters functioning from their basest drives.

[maneless]

thank you. :)

[myrna_bird]

Great description noted.

[lrig_rorrim]

This was beautiful and gritty. You have a way with language that is like quicksand itself, drawing me in and in and in.

[maneless]

thank you so much for your comment, i appreciate your words and enjoy your writing a lot.

[halfshellvenus]

I'm struggling with some of the sexual explicitness in some of the entries this week, but MUST comment on this story.

I take in the teeth like crumbling gravestones, the hair like a brick of uncooked ramen noodles, the quivering yellow smile.
There's so much great description here, but this both conveys the awful physical mess of this woman and with "quivering' also the shaky emotional state that makes you feel something like pity. She isn't in control of her own life, and is desperately trying to hang on to the few things that obsess her. It's sad.

I'm always struggling to reach the top, even when I'm spiraling toward the bottom.
Knowing that makes an enormous difference, because being caught unaware in that situation is exactly what makes it so hopeless for so many.

Brilliant writing, as usual! I've really been impressed with your entries this season.

[maneless]

thank you for commenting even if the sexual talk made you uncomfortable. i appreciate the specific feedback. this was a difficult post to write because i was afraid of coming off so cold it turned people off. i'm glad it came off that i did feel for this woman.

and again, thank you. i really enjoy reading your posts as well.