All that is left is the spread of emptiness. So many options and all pointless. Dear fortune: why, you come up the same no matter what I do, don't you ( Read more... )

"Maybe we've never tested ourselves. So I wrote vulgarities on the world and made her paint my eyes black. I taped them shut and wondered what it would be like to have my face sewn on, or sewn closed."So we exist in cages. Trapped of our own designs, wound up by desire. Straw men tied to their posts yet still vying for position ( Read more... )

So what is a life for a fallen angel? We set out from glowing fields like fireflies hoping to find ourselves and our way, humanity but a glint in god's eye. Errant children, trying to find things that were not there. And we look at what came after and call it flawed and damage as if we were any smarter, and yet it took us an eternity and eternity ( Read more... )

I want to write, but I've no capacity for it no capacity for drama or theatrics no capacity for storytelling. I want to scream and cry and shout and throw things and break down and act out. I can't. I want her to be the person I so desperately need her to be. She won't.

I want to go out gracefully. But that isn't happening.

Choke down pain. Swallow the hurt like so much sand, fill yourself with dust and glass trying to soak up the bile.

Plug the hole, to keep the pitch from bubbling out of that empty place.

Stitch stitch stitch, and hope they hold.

Stand up, brush yourself off, smile pretend nothing is wrong.

And it's still not enough.

I am cutting my hair ( Read more... )

Hammers set to brass set to copper set to imperfections and smoothing our being as life burns brilliant tracer fire through essence.

An untangled markup of self. Simplicity in being without bound. Simplicity that we are, simply are and trust in something beyond petty self delusion.

A flung away ego, antiquated "me" concept, form gospel to mere word ( Read more... )

http://users.rcn.com/esbensen/loituma__.swf

Finnish, maybe.

It's not what you win, just how much you can lose.

Reconsider

http://www.youtube.com/w/Silent-Asylum?v=szqgCYROgCY&search=Silent%20Hill enjoy