Comments | mal_river: Mal/River Prompt 11

ana_sedai in mal_river

Mal/River Prompt 11 - Burdens

Apr 01, 2006 18:09

Title: Burdens
Author: Ana Sedai
Rating: PG

Character(s): Mal, River
Prompt: 072 - Myth
Word Count: 901

A/N: Okay, this is 11/100 for Mal/River. I now have something resembling a plan, so we’ll see how that turns out. Also, I have no idea how artificial gravity fields work in outer space, so I’m taking a little license.

Summary: Sometimes the ( Read more... )

author: ana_sedai, title: b

Comments 7

jazzfic April 1 2006, 23:50:59 UTC

Guh! Fantastic! I love how Mal thinks teaching isn't one of his strengths. And River's last line was great :D

ana_sedai April 2 2006, 00:19:48 UTC

Thanks! :)

The thing I like most about River is that she is completely incapable of playing games. She knows Mal, she knows him so well, and she understands everything that he is. Doesn't mean she doesn't want him to say what he's thinking, of course, or that he doesn't send out confusing signals. But he can't lie to her, and that makes it harder to lie to himself.

gwenfrewi72 April 2 2006, 02:02:21 UTC

I love the conflict of thse two very strong willed people. I love River for wanting to carry some of Mal's burden for him as he does for her.

Loved it. Loved it. Loved it.

Had to wipe away a few tears from each eye before I could continue typing.

You showed beautifuly why Mal/River works and why River is ultimately the best match for Mal.

ana_sedai April 2 2006, 04:31:41 UTC

Wow. Thank you. I didn't mean to make you cry, but I am glad it affected you. :)

It's become almost an obsession with me, portraying Mal/River not only as possible, but practically inevitable. I'm glad I was able to improve from my last one. I'm learning, slowly, but I'm learning, and it is getting a tiny bit easier with each story. Now, if I could just find a way to finish these before we're all too old to remember what "Firefly" is... ;)

ninamazing April 3 2006, 01:42:50 UTC

Nice.

This paragraph was AWESOME:

Four days of living almost in each other’s back pockets had made her cryptic comments even less cryptic to him than before. That didn’t make her easier to deal with when she was of a mind to be stubborn, of course. Still, other than the expected friction, they were developing a sort of rapport. It was fragile, but it was certainly preferable to the walking-on-eggshells edginess that he’d felt around her before.Back pockets! Eggshells! I LOVE it! :D ( ... )

ana_sedai April 3 2006, 02:05:35 UTC

I'm grateful that you took the time to comment on this, and I'm glad that it was fun to read. I wish I was able to figure out what works and what doesn't with writing. I sometimes feel like I'm trying to find my way through a cave with only a finicky lighter to help. (I *knew* I should have taken that creative writing course in high school! ;) )

Now, as for you, you don't suck. You're busy. BELIEVE me, I understand! Just you get better. My Mom and Dad are suffering through their annual allergies right now, so I can sympathize.

And take your time with chapter 10. I'd rather wait longer and enjoy a better product. From what I can tell where you left off, it should be...interesting. ;)

Oh, and thanks for the proofread. I went back and fixed it (thank God for the Edit button). Hopefully now Mal won't sound like an unintentional broken record. :)

donna_lynn April 4 2006, 06:23:05 UTC

They play so well off one another.