Mal/River Prompt 11 - Burdens
Title: Burdens
Author: Ana Sedai
Rating: PG
Character(s): Mal, River
Prompt: 072 - Myth
Word Count: 901
A/N: Okay, this is 11/100 for Mal/River. I now have something resembling a plan, so we’ll see how that turns out. Also, I have no idea how artificial gravity fields work in outer space, so I’m taking a little license.
Summary: Sometimes the heaviest part of a load is figuring out when to share it.
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“Alright River, just pull it up easy there, like I showed you, and then-”
“I understand and comprehend. Don’t need to hold me up.”
River shot a mildly annoyed glance across to Mal where he sat in the other pilot’s chair.
He shot a glare right back. “Look, just ‘cause you’re a genius and all don’t mean you’re ready to take on a whole lot of convoluted acrobatics yet. This ship and everyone on her, includin’ you, are my responsibility. So if I say we’re gonna go over something again, that’s the way it’s gonna be. Dong ma?”
They were three days out from Persephone, and while Mal wasn’t expecting any more trouble from Badger than they usually got, what they usually got was considerable. So, he’d figured it was high time River learned more about piloting than just getting from Point A to Point B. Of course, that involved teaching, which wasn’t his strong suit to begin with. When that was combined with River’s chaffing at the bit to try ever-riskier moves, the occasional flare-up was inevitable. Like this one, for example.
She didn’t drop her gaze, but her eyes softened a bit when she sensed his worry.
“Think everything is your responsibility. Try to hold it all up without falling. You don’t trust enough to let someone else help carry it. Your name isn’t Atlas, though; it’s Mal.”
He sighed. He did that a lot around her.
“I know that, but you know I ain’t exactly the most trustful man in the ‘verse. It’s a whole lot easier for me if I just keep on carryin’ things, instead of wonderin’ if whoever helps is gonna drop ‘em. Now, let’s just go over this one more time…”
Four days of living almost in each other’s back pockets had made her cryptic comments even less cryptic to him than before. That didn’t make her easier to deal with when she was of a mind to be stubborn, of course. Still, other than the expected friction, they were developing a sort of rapport. It was fragile, but it was certainly preferable to the walking-on-eggshells edginess that he’d felt around her before.
“…And that’s how you pull off a double barrel-roll with an inverted turn.”
Mal finished with a flourish. He was grateful that they could practice in the vacuum of deep space where there was only the ship’s internal gravity to worry about. He didn’t figure the rest of the crew would be too impressed if they went bouncing off the sides of Serenity whenever he or River pulled a hard turn.
She’d watched every movement of his hands on the controls. She grasped her own, and then repeated the complicated maneuver perfectly; smoother, in point of fact. Just like the last two times. She was a quick study, and even Mal would admit to the slightest bit of jealousy at how easily she learned.
She looked over at him again, a hint of warning in her voice. “You have your own burdens. Don’t wish for mine. Dragons saw how much I glittered. Wanted to take me, fashion a sword out of me.”
He winced, wishing, not for the first time, that she would stay out of his thoughts. But she was still right. He tried to make it up to her.
“I’d spare you what you hear if I could, little one. You know that.”
Her lips curved up in a small smile.
“I’ll share mine if you share yours.”
Mal blinked at her, and then cleared his throat. “You shouldn’t have to take on my peck of troubles along with yours. You got enough on your plate. ‘Sides-,” he tried to add a lighter note, “-you gotta be my eyes and ears at the docks in a coupla days. Won’t be able to hear nothing if you got my worries rattlin’ around up there.”
Silly man, always trying to pretend that none of it mattered. “You already carry part of my troubles. Easier for me, but another straw on your back. Don’t carry the weight of the world forever. Don’t have to.”
Gorram it. He stood up, figuring he’d best try and get going before he thought something he’d regret.
“Ah, I got captainy things to do for a spell. You pretty much got the hang of it. You gonna be okay on your own for awhile?”
Awkward moment or no awkward moment, he wouldn’t leave if her dragons started roaring again.
River looked down and nodded slightly. So, he should go now. Why did it feel wrong?
“Okay then. Be back in a bit. Don’t crash and get us corpsified or anythin’.” He headed for the door.
He’d taken all of four steps when he stopped and sighed. He turned back around and kneeled by River’s chair. She looked at him expectantly, so he spoke slowly, trying to explain things to himself as much as to her.
“River, I just need some time. I’m not used to askin’ for help, nor bein’ offered any. It takes some getting used to.”
He took a breath, but before he could continue, River placed her fingers on his lips. They were cool, and he felt a tingle work its way down his back.
She spoke four words, and he knew she’d understood both what he had said, and what he hadn’t.
“I know. I’ll wait.”
He felt lighter just hearing her.