Comments | makers_breath: Fanfic and request for constructive criticism

alias_sqbr in makers_breath

Fanfic and request for constructive criticism

Apr 30, 2010 17:43

Title: A Wishful Fancy
Creator: alias_sqbr
Info: Leliana/Morrigan, Zevran/m!Mahariel, past Morrigan/m!Mahariel, some sexual references, 8711 words.
Summary and/or notes:Morrigan and Leliana realise they have more in common than they first thought ( Read more... )

m/f, f/f, mahariel, morrigan, fanfiction

Comments 8

je_talveran April 30 2010, 18:15:54 UTC

Let me get the squee of a Morrgian/Leliana fic out of the way first. Actually, I think this -is- the first romance fic between those two ever.

The story itself was a good read. The in-game dialog didn't feel forced at all, and the ending was lovely. Setting people on fire, yes, that would be Morrigan's first real question, wouldn't it?

And those two really are similar underneath the masks they both wear. I give you kudos!

alias_sqbr May 1 2010, 00:50:57 UTC

Thankyou so much for this comment, since I haven't written anything like this before part of me was convinced it was TERRIBLE, it makes me feel much better to know that at least one person enjoyed it :)

The idea of Morrigan/Leliana has been knocking around in my head since first hearing the dialogue where Leliana checks out Morrigans's boobs. But I kept thinking it would never work until for some reason my muse insisted I write it anyway, and the more I wrote the more perfect they seemed for each other.

je_talveran May 1 2010, 07:25:44 UTC

Don't worry, I sent it to my roommate and she loved it too. :) So two people like your story!

alias_sqbr May 2 2010, 07:00:10 UTC

Wow, does that make me a BNF? :) Thanks.

aderi May 2 2010, 13:51:16 UTC

I never thought anyone could have made a romantic relationship between Morrigan and Leliana actually work given how they talk to each other in game but you, my friend, made it rather damn believable.

I have to admit I enjoyed it, and some parts where adorable.

alias_sqbr May 6 2010, 06:08:53 UTC

Thankyou!

When my muse told me I had to write this story I wasn't convinced it would work either, it kind of took me by surprise while I was writing :)

payroo May 4 2010, 04:40:56 UTC

Ooh, just finished reading this!
It was so cute how they bonded over jewelry and stuff at first - though TBH I would have liked to see more conflict between them; they seemed to bond rather quickly!
I did like how Morrigan 'hardened' Leliana! That was clever how you pulled it off.
The ending was a nice touch; I like how Leli found Morrigan once she stopped looking for her! That would totally happen to a bard ;)

alias_sqbr May 6 2010, 06:20:09 UTC

I was planning on going back after I'd finished the first draft and adding in more scenes, including some more conflict but I got that "This is DONE" feeling and so had to stop (I'm not sure if other people work that way) Maybe one day if I feel inspired to work on it again!

Anyway: thanks! I think Leliana's characterisation around being hardened is key to her relationship with Morrigan, I'm glad it worked for you.