My twin brother's house is about 100 yards from mine. He has an odd, shift work sort of schedule so I tend to visit him there. Actually, in the past year he's only come to my house once
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through the looking glass on this onemajormagikAugust 11 2005, 19:34:45 UTC
Trying to relate to Frank for at least the last two decades has been increasingly like dealing with an Alice in Wonderland version of my own reflection. More often than not, what I think will work - what seems to make sense - results in lost ground in terms of finding a way to build a rapport.
Frank does have a stressful job. I know, I used to work in the same lab. But I have recently asked him to find the time to visit me at least once a month. It seems to me that when ass hits seat, seal forms. That's fine. Sometimes I enjoy just sitting on MY sofa too.
But all of the things we have (the potential to share) in common are quite cerebral and involve many books. I don't feel like having to carry all the props and references I need 100 yards to his house and then back to mine in a few hours.
We're both epileptic but his condition is not the sort that prevents him from driving. So - yes, he's got a car. That makes this situation even more ridiculous, imo…
One would think that if he honestly wasn't interested in the collaboration, he would just say so. If he has hermit-tendancies (such as myself), I would suggest IM for the brainstorming. The situation does all seem kind of "what the ... ?" or "wow"-ish when you include the forgetting your birthday bit though. I wonder what his issue is? How much talking things out have you tried with him?
Sounds to me like Franks needs to grow up. I know what it is like working in a lab (I am in one) but still...my in-laws say the same thing about me not visiting, but I at least make it down at least twice a month to see them (and usually at least once a week). They also live right down the street, so it is not a big deal.
Re: i'm with the rabbidochyelAugust 11 2005, 21:04:29 UTC
We all need to remember that family is important...but family is a two-way street. Any of us can only go so far to do our part and the other has to meet us half way.
This is especially frustrating, I'm sure, in the case here...Frank's not a bad guy; but there's obviously something here that's really getting in the way. It's a shame.
Re: i'm with the rabbidochyelAugust 12 2005, 11:46:50 UTC
I know, from my own personal experience, when I'm going through something huge, my tendency is to push people away, to just live in it all by myself. Not healthy...but human.
Huh- I always thought the two of you lived very far apart. The relationship between brothers is a weird one, let alone one between twin brothers. I don't think you are unreasonable with your feelings, you know when you are inappropriate and step back, so the problems is on his shoulders. I wonder what his deal is?... In any event, I hope he comes around, in every sense of the phrase. *huggles*
Well, actually, I'm not Jewish. My rabbi friend is someone I met at a science fiction convention. I was displaying art and he's an author of sci-fi and gaming material. He's about ten years my senior and one of the people from whom I'd like to borrow a few pages about life.
We tend to talk about Everything, usually over pints…
Comments 17
would email work?
i hope you guys can work it out...
*hugs*
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Frank does have a stressful job. I know, I used to work in the same lab. But I have recently asked him to find the time to visit me at least once a month. It seems to me that when ass hits seat, seal forms. That's fine. Sometimes I enjoy just sitting on MY sofa too.
But all of the things we have (the potential to share) in common are quite cerebral and involve many books. I don't feel like having to carry all the props and references I need 100 yards to his house and then back to mine in a few hours.
We're both epileptic but his condition is not the sort that prevents him from driving. So - yes, he's got a car. That makes this situation even more ridiculous, imo…
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i have a weird quesiton, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to: who's the older twin?
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Without fail, he is offended by the questions and refuses to provide anything I can use for data…
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This is especially frustrating, I'm sure, in the case here...Frank's not a bad guy; but there's obviously something here that's really getting in the way. It's a shame.
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It does not make sense to me. Whatever Frank is going through much be huge.
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I always thought the two of you lived very far apart.
The relationship between brothers is a weird one, let alone one between twin brothers. I don't think you are unreasonable with your feelings, you know when you are inappropriate and step back, so the problems is on his shoulders. I wonder what his deal is?... In any event, I hope he comes around, in every sense of the phrase. *huggles*
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We tend to talk about Everything, usually over pints…
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