Figures... - Part One [DWP]
“Miranda Priestly’s office.”
“Hey, Emily, it’s Andy. Don’t hang up! I have a favor to ask you.”
“You have a favour to ask of me?”
“Yeah…the thing is, I have all these clothes from Paris and I don’t have any place to wear them, so I was wondering if you could take them off my hands?”
“Well, I don’t know. It’s a huge imposition and I have to get them taken-I mean, they’ll drown me but I suppose I could help you out. I have Roy pick them up this afternoon.”
“Thanks, Em, I appreciate it…good luck.”
Emily hesitated for a moment, her breath seemingly stuck in her throat for some reason but she recovered, had to, because the new Andrea was staring at her from across the room. “Wait!” She cursed herself, she had meant to say ‘bye’ or ‘thank you’ or something equally inane.
“Yes?” Andy sounded as surprised as Emily felt.
“Uh…” Fantastic, she was stuttering for some unknown, totally ridiculous reason. “I last saw you before Paris and I thought that, perhaps, it would be…” Emily searched for a better word than ‘nice’ but said, “nice to maybe say goodbye properly and since I don’t trust Roy to not rumple the clothes I might as well pick them up in person?”
“Um,” there was a smile on Andrea’s face, Emily heard it in her voice. “Sure.”
Somehow, she had expected this to be more difficult, not that Emily had ever thought about saying goodbye to Andy before - in person, but now that she got a simple ‘sure’ she couldn’t believe it to be that easy. “Right. Well, I’ll uh…”
Andy raised an eyebrow as Emily began to stutter again then she heard another voice in the background which explained the brief lapse.
“If you don’t have this done by 8 today, Miranda will tear your head off, understand? 8 o’clock.”
Andy smiled and shook her head gently. “Got it. 8 o’clock. You know where I live?”
“Well, yes, of course,” Emily scoffed and hung up.
*****
At precisely 8.05 pm there was a knock on Andy’s apartment door. She checked her attire, a habit Andy wouldn’t get rid of anytime soon, and opened the door.
“If I had known there would be so many stairs, I would’ve demanded you bring over the clothes to my flat.”
“Well,” Andy said glumly. “You live on the 5th floor.”
“I have a lift.” Emily hobbled past her on her crutches and into the apartment, leaving Roy standing awkwardly in the hallway.
“Hey, Roy.”
“Andy,” he tipped his hat. “I’ll…start with the shoeboxes?” He glanced at the boxes piled up next to the door which Emily was already inspecting.
“Uh, that would be great. Em, I got two pairs in your size and one that I just don’t think I’ll ever wear but figured you could?”
Emily sniffed nonchalantly, her eyes wandering over the labels printed on the boxes. “You have gigantic feet but…I suppose I could at least try them on.”
Andy just grinned to herself and thrust a jacket hidden underneath layers of plastic into Roy’s arms.
“Oh…my god! Balenciaga!”
*****
“So, how’s the new me?” Andrea had somehow talked Emily into a glass of wine after all the clothes were safely stored in the car with Roy waiting patiently behind the wheel.
“Oh, she’s hopeless.” Emily rolled her eyes, sitting primly on the couch.
“Does Miranda call her Andrea?”
“Don’t be silly, of course not.” Emily took a swig of wine, it wasn’t really what she was used to but the bouquet was spicy and she rather liked spicy. “She calls her Emily, what else. We also don’t say your name out loud at the moment.”
“Is she that mad?” Andy plopped down next to her, eyes wide.
“I don’t know. And why would we mention your name anyway? Everyone is supposed to hate you now, considering…”
Andy stared into her wine glass, a small grin playing around her lips. “You don’t hate me, do you?”
“Well, I will only say this once and I expect you to not mention it ever again but I liked you.” Not right from the very beginning, Emily added mentally, because Andrea had been a complete and utter disaster then.
“You don’t have to stop liking me just because I don’t work at Runway anymore,” Andy said lightly.
Emily looked as if that idea had never crossed her mind before, probably because it really hadn’t. “Well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to consider it.” She sighed. “Well, I have to go.”
“Already?” Andy glanced down at her watch and realized it was almost 9 o’clock. “Oh, okay.” Emily made a weak attempt at getting up then tried harder, glowering at the offered hand right before her nose. With a deep, exasperated sigh she took it and hauled herself to her feet.
While Emily hobbled to the door on her crutches, Andy had one of her brilliant ideas. With a piece of paper in hand she approached her former colleague, smiling that annoying kind-smile Emily had despised in the beginning. “Here,” Andy said, tugging the paper into Emily’s jacket pocket. “My new cell…”
“And what makes you think I’m going to call you?”
“Uh, you like me?”
“When I told you to not mention it again, Andrea, I meant it.”
*****
Two weeks later Andy’s cell phone rang or rather vibrated as she was about to read over an article for the twentieth time in case she had made some horrendous grammatical mistake. “Hello?”
“Andrea. Guess what happened? You won’t believe that.”
Huh? “Emily?”
“Well, yes, of course.”
“Oh,” Emily heard the smile again which made her somehow feel rather pleased. “Hi, Em. What happened?”
“I got the cast removed today--”
“Oh, that’s great!”
She huffed; that girl was just idiotic sometimes. “No, that’s not it. I had an appointment today at 7 at the hospital, there wasn’t anyone else available earlier so I had to tell Miranda that I would be late and instead of giving me that snotty look of hers she told me I had half a day off.”
Andy chuckled into the phone. “Well that is really unbelievable.”
“Told you. Anyway. Since I have so much time on my hands I asked Serena out for lunch but Miranda wants to talk about a layout right after she had her steak…Nigel doesn’t have time either, something about Zack Posen that’ll make him cry, so I thought I’d call you…”
Emily heard a snort. “Gee, it’s nice to be second, no wait, third choice.”
“God, you’re even more of a prissy than Donatella.”
“I am not!” Andy replied perhaps a little too quickly. “Fine. When do you wanna meet?”
*****
Andy hated the ‘café’ Emily wanted to meet at immediately. The food was exquisite, mind you, the ambiance just perfect, everyone was nice, everything was clean but…
“You can’t eat anything here without ending up broke.”
“Then you shouldn’t eat so much,” Emily commented dryly over her glass of water. Andy glared; she wasn’t fat.
“So,” she said after a moment, searching for something to converse over. “How is everyone?”
“Splendid,” Emily commented dryly but then seemed to remember that she had indeed asked Andrea to meet her for lunch and that she was supposed to be amicable. “The January issue is going to be phenomenal. Miranda reinvented the muff, or rather James Holt did. But it’s pure genius, you’ll see.”
Andy nodded, smiling blandly. It was October and Emily was already talking January and muffs - oh, boy. On the other hand, Andy supposed, it was quite an advantage to still have someone in fashion so she could plan on what to buy.
“And you’re still working at that newspaper…” It wasn’t really a question, nor did the answer interest Emily in any way but she tried, hard, to at least seem interested.
“Uh, yeah. I’ve only worked there for a week but today I submitted my first article.”
“Hmm.”
“About an animal shelter fundraiser. I hope it’s good enough.”
“Oh, really…”
“Did you even listen?”
“Yes,” Emily said acidly, moving slightly to allow the waiter to place her tiny, tiny salad on the table. “Animal shelter, fundraiser, good enough. See?”
“Hey, if we’re supposed to be friends, you’ll have to at least pretend to find all this interesting.”
“Why on earth would you think this has anything to do with friendship? It’s just lunch for Christ’s sake.”
“Exactly,” Andy looked down at her 25 dollars worth of tomato salad. Her voice faltered. “Um…” Was that even a whole tomato? “I mean, you called me and now we’re having pleasant conversation and lunch, so that’s friendship-y.”
Emily rolled her eyes. “I suppose one would assume that.”
“Oh, c’mon. We did fine so far, don’t you think? Beside my friends Lily and Doug I know you third longest here in New York, that has to mean something…”
“I don’t see any meaning whatsoever but…” Emily thought about the friends she used to have. A girl she had met in her building. She had been nice but ultimately, she didn’t want to hear more tales of Miranda Priestly. Then there were Julia, Tim and Catherine, they were Brits and quite nice. Unfortunately Tim and Julia also dressed like Brits and that was just dreadful. Catherine on the other hand had turned out to be a bitch, jealous of every new piece of clothing Emily wore.
Emily had dumped her then as well. But there was always Serena. Who worked at Runway as well and obsessed over Miranda just as much but she was also just as bland. Oh, well. Emily looked at Andrea for a moment, a girl from Ohio who, a year ago, looked exactly that. Now though she looked like someone who had something to say. “Whatever…if you call, I will not hang up. Except if you decide to dress like an Ohioan again then I’ll delete your number.”
“Don’t count on the lumpy blue sweater making a reappearance.”
Emily actually snorted. How embarrassing. “So…what makes that animal shelter so special that it deserves New York’s attention?”
*****
Two days later Emily received a letter. Miranda Priestly, Miranda Priestly, Miranda Priestly, Emily Charlton, Miranda Priestly…
Wait, what?
There, with Miranda’s mail was an envelope for her, how could that be? Emily had looked around, sneaking to her desk to hide the crime she was about to commit. She opened the envelope carefully, peeked inside and upon discovering that it wasn’t a bomb or anthrax or - god forbid - from The GAP, she reached inside. It was two pieces of paper. Both folded neatly.
Emily unfolded the one that looked like a letter first and it indeed was one, handwritten even.
Hello, friend!
Since friendship requires that you know the person you’re befriending and since we are friends, I just knew, you wouldn’t bother to buy The Mirror to look for my article. That’s why I’m sending it to you, I’m just that thoughtful.
A.
Emily unfolded the second paper and discovered that it was the article on the fundraiser of the animal shelter Andy had told her about just two days ago.
“Anything interesting?”
Working for Miranda Priestly had taught Emily to not jump; she wouldn’t be doing anything else if she weren’t able to control it. Now there was Jessica, the new Andrea, looking at her curiously from across the room. “Yes,” Emily said, snotty as ever and glanced down at the article again.
She read it and read it again and read it again and couldn’t believe that those words were written by babbling Andy Sachs with the sloppiest handwriting ever.
Emily decided to write an email, she wasn’t really a letter person.
Hello,
I read the article. Animal shelters are dull and articles about animal shelters hosting fundraisers are even duller. I hope you know, that I only read this article because we’re friends of sorts, so consider my spending five minutes on it a personal favour.
E.
PS: I cannot imagine you leaving behind that little kitten you mentioned. Have you adopted it? That would explain the linty state your shirt was in two days ago.
Suddenly, her phone beeped. “Okay,” she said in Jessica’s direction. “Roy picked her up, they’ll be here in 20 minutes. Now go down, get the papers and then go get Starbucks, hot, understand? And in that order.”
Jessica made a hasty exit as if she were as scared of Emily as she was of Miranda, which was just a ridiculous thought.
*****
“I’m off to lunch. Make sure the car is waiting when Miranda finished her steak.”
“Okay,” Jessica said in a small voice and watched Emily trail after Serena. They both spent the trip down to the cafeteria chattering about Jessica and how completely terrified the girl was…all the time.
“What did you do with your morning off? You still haven’t told me,” Serena asked over a green salad.
“I had lunch,” Emily responded airily. “If you knew with whom I’d have to kill you.”
“C’mon just--” Serena couldn’t even finish before it burst right out of Emily.
“Andrea Sachs.”
“You’re kidding? What if Miranda finds out?”
“I’m not going to tell her, you’re keeping your mouth shut as well, Andrea certainly won’t mention it. I don’t see how Miranda ought to find out.”
Serena sighed deeply then began eating, they only had 20 minutes after all. “Okay. Well, how is she?”
“Fine, I suppose. She’s working for a newspaper…The Mirror. Her first article was published yesterday.” To Serena’s surprise, Emily had said article neatly store in her purse. “It’s rather boring…about a fundraiser for an animal shelter.” She handed the piece of paper over and Serena began reading. “But I suppose everyone has to start somewhere.”
“Are you having a fever?”
“Andrea,” she whispered the name, “and I are trying to be friends which means I have to show interest in whatever it is she’s writing. I’m only practicing on you.”
“Well, she writes good,” Serena offered after a moment. “…you think they still have this kitten?”
*****
“When I get back I expect this to be sorted out, Emily. And tell Nigel to meet me at 4.10 and to bring the Galliano.”
“Of course, Miranda.”
The editor grabbed bag and coat and stormed out of the office.
“Can I go pee?”
Emily rolled her eyes; the girl was just dense sometimes. “Go.” Jessica went and Emily called Nigel while checking her emails. And there was an email from Andy which caused a small tremble in Emily’s hand as she clicked on it.
Hi, Em!
Thank you for reading, I appreciate the 5 minutes you took out of your very busy schedule and no, that wasn’t meant to be sarcastic.
I decided to celebrate my little success with my friends Lily and Doug on Friday evening and since you’re part of my ‘circle’ now, how about you join us? Just for a few drinks? It’ll be fun, promise…but Doug might fawn over your clothes, so consider yourself warned.
A.
Melon 1291 Third Ave. 8.30 pm
And just so you know, my shirt wasn’t ‘linty’ but yes, I did adopt the kitten.
J.G. Melon…Yorkville. Emily rolled her eyes, ready to type her answer…
*****
Andy glanced at her watch again for the umpteenth time. It was 9.07 pm. “I don’t think she’ll come.”
“I can’t believe you’re still talking to her,” Lily said from across the table. “I mean it’s not like the two of you have much in common and you said she’s snippy, bossy and totally obsessed with Miranda and fashion.”
“True,” Andy drawled ruefully. “But she sort of…grew on me?”
Doug snorted and knocked back his beer. “What else is she beside all those horrible things you told us?”
“I don’t really know.” She shrugged. “Emily’s not talking much about her private life. I wouldn’t even know if she has a boyfriend or something. But she’s fun and kinda nice once you get to know her.”
“Is she gorgeous and chic?” Doug asked absent-mindedly.
“Uh huh. Crazy chic.”
“A redhead?”
“Uh…”
Andy turned and looked at what he and Lily were looking at. Emily. She looked a bit out of place but seemed to forget about where she was and what she was doing there as soon as she saw Andy.
“Andrea,” Emily said haughtily. “Miranda has gone completely insane. She had me and Nigel go through hundreds of photos from the 80’s and she hates the 80’s…” She trailed off.
“Lily, Doug, let me present to you, Emily Charlton.”
“I’m late,” Emily said primly and that was it, no ‘sorry’, no excuses. “Hello,” she added slowly and slid onto a chair.
Silence.
“We were just talking about Andy’s article.”
“Oh, yes, of course,” Emily said to no one in general. “I read it. Serena did as well.”
Andy was surprised on one hand that Emily had actually let anyone know about them talking and being all friendly, on the other hand she could just imagine Emily spilling the beans right away because she was just a huge gossip. “Really?”
“No, not really. I read it to her as a bedtime story yesterday when I tucked her in.” The assistant rolled her eyes. “She read it over lunch. Really. She also sends her best wishes and asks about the kitten.”
“Tell her hi from me and that the kitten found a nice home.”
Emily tried a tiny smile which vanished when there was no waiter taking her order. “I don’t know what it is with kittens, I mean, everyone wants kittens because they’re cute…supposedly, which I don’t think they are. Everyone should worry about the cats rather…they’re old, who wants them?” Finally, a waiter. “I’ll have a martini…”
And over the course of the evening, Andy realized that Emily was the Emily she had met almost a year ago, totally herself but just that the image Andy had put together over time, was only a very small part of the actual person. It was weird, she thought as Emily laughed airily at a joke Doug made, Emily, was Emily but sort of not. Weird.
*****
Andy was carefully applying lipstick and fluffing her hair a bit, which had gone flat over the last 3 hours in the bar, when the door opened. “Oh,” Emily said ineloquently, hesitating for a moment.
“So, you having fun?” Andy grinned at her through the mirror.
“A bit.”
Delicious. “Oh, admit it you like it. You like my friends, you like me, you like the bar…” Sometimes, when Andy was teasing Emily she feared that she might go too far at some point.
“The bar’s really not what I’m used to. I usually go fancier places.”
Andrea snorted, fussing with her hair and not really making any progress. “I wonder how you manage that, I know what you earn…fancy just doesn’t go well with that salary.”
“I just don’t drink much, or eat much, or go out much,” Emily sighed and opened her purse. “Whichever.” She produced a small, compact can of hairspray and closed in on Andy, finger at the ready. “Stop fussing.” Andy held still while Emily worked on her hair.
“I’m glad you came though.” Emily remained silent. “And you really should go out more.”
“How do you suppose I do that? I have my hands full with Miranda and the new you, Jessica, she’s just dim but Miranda wanted to hire her and I’m surely not going to say anything.” Emily stepped back after burning her own hole into the ozone layer but to Andy’s surprise she looked way better than before.
“Wow, thanks.”
“Don’t mention it. Really. Don’t.”
Part Two