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[madscience]

I must stop letting the problems of the world weigh on my consciousness.As I lay in bed trying to sleep tonight, I realized that my heart was racing as fast as my thoughts. I am under a great deal of stress, and there really is no reason for it. I don't do anything stressful. I don't do anything at all. Sure, I play with computers, write a

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[jesc]

sadly, to some degree, i can relate. i think i unconsciously got pregnant to see if it would motivate me. instead it's proven more of a mess than i could imagine - and it's causing me alot of physical difficulty at this point. i have no personal motivation - my motivation has to come from outside stimuli. part of being an extravert.

it is times such as this that i feel centered and feel like i can continue when I read the Tao Te Ching and align my thoughts with that philosophy.

Look on the bright side: at least the chaos of the world is enough to occupy your mind. I seem to need a more personal form of chaos.

Understimulated, unoccupied intelligent minds are dangerous. But what are we supposed to do? What direction are we supposed to head in?

[madscience]

Dangerous... yes. I feel like an uncontained flame.

I don't think there's any right direction for me. Human DNA codes for people like me against those times when we face crisis. Survival right now isn't a challenge, and life without challenge is tragically boring. Until another ecosystem-destroying asteroid hits the planet or total economic collapse sets the stage for national socialism, I have nothing to do but reproduce.

[jesc]

what we're SUPPOSED to do still sounds incredibley boring and a waste. We're supposed to get an education, pursue a career, and be wage slaves for the best years of our lives. I just have no motivation to invest all of my energy and resources in a society I don't even agree with. A lifetime dedicated to serving a company or a shitty government sounds very unappealing. But we're given little choice in the matter.