I have had body dysmorphic disorder for most of my life. I first started believing I was ugly in 5th grade or middle school. It continued all the way until now. Now I have gotten better over the recent years with sometimes feeling pretty, but not always. It's like.......deep down I do believe I'm ugly (without makeup), but there are more times ( Read more... )

I just want to make something clear. Yes, I do have suicidal thoughts. But they are merely thoughts. I want to promise all of you that I will NEVER commit suicide again. I know I need to be here to help others who are going through the same thing I'm going through. And also, I know I would regret it because I don't want to give up. That would let ( Read more... )

I just saw Shallow Hal. I forgot how much of a good movie it is. I wish there were real men out there who were like that, who would just love a woman for her mind, NOT her body. I think women, in general, tend to be less superficial than men are. But I know there are women who are superficial too. But more and more, I see most men looking for the ( Read more... )

I don't wanna live anymore. I'm in pain every day. It's unbearable. I want to go to the hospital. I can't take this anymore. I HATE night time because it means I'll be alone. I hate being alone, it makes me panic and wanna shoot myself a million times. I've been alone for so many years and it's killing me. The medication doesn't help. It still ( Read more... )

I feel so overwhelmed because I am thinking about everything that needs to get done and everything that needs to change in this country, and it worries me a great deal. Because I don't want anybody to go through all the different pain I've been through, but they are more and more, and it's getting worse, NOT better. I get pissed off when people say ( Read more... )

Is anyone interested in being pen pals with me????!!!! I just want to say that I absolutely LOVE writing letters to friends and family. I've been doing it since I was a little kid, and I used to write letters diligently to my grandmothers and friends. But over the years, I have lost people to write to. It just helps me because getting something ( Read more... )

I remember that one first scene in The Notebook where the character Noah says to the nurse "big day today" with a big smile on his face. Because he's so in love with his wife he has no problem living at a nursing home just to be with her, because that's what makes him happy. I think I feel that same way about my boyfriend/fiance because even though ( Read more... )

I just want to say thank you to all of you who have helped with my tough times and happy times in commenting on my blog and trying to help me. I guess the word thank you isn't enough to express my gratitude. I really don't have any real friends to talk to so having people on here who seem to care and talk to me means THE WORLD to me. That's why I'm ( Read more... )

I feel happier now that it's day time. I always feel more depressed at night. Depressed people can feel happiness, but that doesn't erase their other feelings. See, I'll feel very happy during the day. But then at night my pain comes back. I know how to cure this, but nobody knows how to treat me in the right way. Just read Peggy Claude Pierre's ( Read more... )

I want to refer back to the drowning and depression I was talking about before. I think emotionally dying is a side effect of depression. And that emotionally dying process inevitably leads to suicidal thoughts. I'm not physically suicidal, but I do think about dying and death because I am emotionally dying. Slowly,,,,,...............ever so slowly ( Read more... )