confirmation bias

[madmoisellestar]

Had dinner with a dear friend the other night, who I hadn't seen since this summer at the Country Fair. Of course we got to talking about my mom. He talked about his anger, and about struggling to accept the fact that this had happened, trying to fit it into his evolving concept of God and the universe

Comments

[reedrover]

Thank you for the post. I think I'm resonating with you on a lot of this, because I find myself nodding along at points. Quite often, things are unfair in my favor, too.

Do you read SomethingPositive? Your comments really reminded me of this strip in particular.

[madmoisellestar]

I'm glad there's something there. Sometimes I have trouble telling if what I'm writing is self-evident to the point of duh or worth some unpacking.

That strip puts it pretty damn well. I hadn't read SomethingPositive before, though I recognize it as a thing Tyler reads, and I'm a little sad he hadn't shared. But glad that you did!

This one in particular, and its whole storyline, speaks to my life in a couple of ways...

[reedrover]

Yeah, I enjoy S*P in many whacked and wicked ways, but sometimes it is actually for the humanity of it. Randy draws people the way he sees them, sometimes, and the angst is a flavor I've tasted.

[starfyrone]

I sometimes wonder which of my friends is secretly a web comicsist, and why they though setting the strip in Boston would be adequate disguise...

[madmoisellestar]

I'm glad.

For the record, I'm at least a little more woo-woo than I think too.

[zorazen]

Nothing disgusts me as much as the phrase "everything happens for a reason." I find that idea so repellent. I think about my friend who had to have an abortion, even though she really wanted her baby, because the baby's brain wasn't growing at all. The idea that this happened for a "reason" is so sad, and I don't understand how people find comfort in it. What reason could there be for such things?

[madmoisellestar]

I don't know if I'd go so far as disgust, but it's not an idea that works for me either. I mean, except in a very, very literal sense.

I get that the idea of bad things being part of some larger generally benevolent plan is a comfort. I don't want to begrudge people that, so I'm trying to figure out why it's so frustrating to hear the 'happens for a reason' line... I think it's that when you're pretty sure there's not a plan it comes off as either discounting the pain or looking for an upside without having to say so, neither of which is really cool.