Apologies to Rilke

Sep 26, 2006 21:14

Due to poetic reasons, parts of this post are in German. Sorry ( Read more... )

rec, poems

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tinnny September 28 2006, 12:14:43 UTC
I *so* need to learn that by heart! Since Panther is the only poem I know by heart, it makes sense, right?

It goes into my memories, maybe that helps me memorize it better. (wah, teh bad punning knows no end)

p.s.: I think I liked the previous version better - with the scream coming from his heart. Better allegory with the Panther... I don't know. It affected me more.

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madinspeaking September 28 2006, 19:13:46 UTC
Hmm, I don't remember how the previous version was worded exactly. I know it was something with aus tiefstem Herzen but I tossed it out because the Herzen were in the wrong place of the line compared to the original. It's a bit tricky - the last line only has 4 beats instead of 5, and I think my previous version didn't take that into consideration.

How about this one for the last line:
Und spürt im Herzen bittre Pein.

That comes phonetically close enough to the original (except for the bittre but I couldn't think of an adjective sounding like auf zu which would still make sense here) and still contains the heart.

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