I was a terrified thing, once ( Read more... )

It is right, that this journal ends like this.
Right here, at the end, my heart is in a place
that was home when this silly journey began.

Bye.

Change is coming, change is happening, change is here.
I am breakingcrackingshifting open like a trembling excitable thing.

I want to say thank you for Monday, and whatever happens...there's always that.

Staying grounded in a field of birds; sometimes impossible.
March is here, and with it, news.

I will not live a half life.

I don't know if that was closure--the truest closing of a door.
But before you go, when that happens, I hope you know, I hope I tell you,
that I (still) love you. That I already accepted this, that you are always well.

It has been eight, ten years.

Listen, I am here with my palms open. I am waiting for the sound.

The only regrets I have, if you can even call them that,
is that I did not watch you when the song played;
I did not tell you that you are the arctic fox.

I see you more clearly than I ever have before.

I hope that is ok.

When I wake in the morning I play Ayreon's 'Human Equation' until I leave ( Read more... )

Keeping a journal of every single cast was an excellent idea ( Read more... )

I cannot think of it as losing, if it is losing, or being too late, if I am too late.
Now was my right time.
Now is the time I understand what I want in life.
Now is the time I'm willing to wait for it, but live my life in the interim.

I will have Tintern Abbey or nothing.
I think, hope, I'm ok with that.

"You know what I want? Cool guys like you out of my life."
-Veronica, "Heathers"

It's funny how life just switches on you,
how the anger dissolves & the only thing left is self-preservation.
I'm not angry. I probably should still be,
but it just doesn't have the staying power that love has in myself.