Things Fanfic Must Stop Doing -- Rant #8

[m_mcgregor]

Things Fanfic Must Stop Doing - A series of arrogant rants and grumpy mutterings. - Rant #8

That's right, I'm not done with these yet. Today I poke fun at shows I don't like while I also let loose a fiery string of expletives about:

Comments

[hjcallipygian]

Thank you. I hate it when I read a story wherein someone shoots an avada kedavra at Harry Potter and he replies something like, "Oh, you did not shoot that green shit at me!" I mean, come on. Harry Potter is not Will Smith. Don't write him like he's played by Will Smith.

[bastardsnow]

Wouldn't it be funny if he was, though? Just as a joke?

[hjcallipygian]

Well, yes. Of course. Don't you know me at all? I'd LOVE that story. I'd LOVE that movie. I'd watch the hell out of that movie.

But unless that's your premise -- and, as is clearly established, I'd read that story so fast I'd go back in time -- then Harry shouldn't talk like that. =)

[mushmeister]

Most people would probably utter a "fuuuuck" if they took a bullet, but the characters you're writing about are not most people.

There's always the Eddie Murphy rule that anyone who gets shot says "Motherfucker!" Even the Pope, if you rewind and listen carefully.

In general, I agree with you. I sometimes use more profanity in my fics than we saw on the show, but it's never anything truly blue, and I try to stay in character for what someone would say if there were no censors. But that's a tricky line, no doubt about it, and in general it's probably best just to avoid the issue.

Uncharacteristic profanity does have its place, though, as in this exchange in NWHepcat's "Double Vision."

"You know, the watcher candidates I met on this trip were all very earnest young men and women, terribly respectful and worried about saying the right thing."

"Bored, were you?"

"Out of my fucking skull," he says, in such a dry Gilesian way that Xander can't help laughing. There it works because it is out of character, but at the same time I could

[m_mcgregor]

You're absolutely right about your example there.

In the same way that I think it's fine to refer to Buffy as "The Ex-Cheerleader" if you're specifically using that as a way to highlight the incongruity of a situation (or something similar), I also think that you can use curses like that as a punchline or to highlight something like that.

[artistshipper]

I can think of quite a few writers who could benefit from this sage advice.
*cough*tenhawk*cough* Admit it, you were thinking that too.

What bothers me more that the profanityis that while the original shows generally have people who are relatively normal in their sexual appetites, the fanfics seem to turn every character into a raging nymphomanic who will sleep with anything that has an appropriate organ.

I never did get why people assume Faith is a slut. It's very unsubtly hinted that she has been sexually assaulted in her past history. Her "dirty talk" seems to be more a defense mechanism than an obsession with sex.

They say that Imitation is the Highest form of Praise

[m_mcgregor]

Oh yeah, I hate those authors who write giant smut fics where everyone has lots of--

Wait a second! Oh no!

In all seriousness, I've been edging more and more towards your interpretation of Faith lately. I tend to write Faith as bisexual-tending-towards-heterosexual, and usually as someone who's had a lot of sex, but not someone who's necessarily a slut. It's more like that she uses sex to get something she thinks she wants. I always feel like Faith's never really had a very good sexual experience. It's a tool to her, not something to be cherished.

I've always been of the mind that deep down, Buffy is far more naturally sexual than Faith is. Faith has sex cause it's part of the persona she puts out there. Buffy has sex cause Buffy likey.

[artistshipper]

"Faith has sex cause it's part of the persona she puts out there. Buffy has sex cause Buffy likey."

That's a great line. Can I quote you on that?

[m_mcgregor]

Feel free

[kimalis]

I agree with the overuse of expletives, its just downright distracting from what might be a brilliant fic. Something I find just as distracting is the incorrect use of Brit swearing for Spike. I guess not everyone can have a beta that can pick the diff, but often the words are used in the completely wrong context, or words that are never used together are strung into some swear word salad that just makes you cringe. If you can't find a British beta, snag an Aussie, we're the next best thing.

[m_mcgregor]

You be sure and tell me if I ever do that. I try to research it enough as best I can and usually just stick to "bloody" and "soddin'", which is about where Joss and company stopped with the UK slang anyway. I don't feel comfortable enough working much of anything else in there.

[kimalis]

you can't beat a good bloody or soddin' even a bit of bleedin' and bugger.
Here's a couple of great resources I use for the Brit speak.
http://www.zoology.ufl.edu/bolker/vocab/node5.html#SECTION00050000000000000000
http://www.effingpot.com/index.shtml

[artistshipper]

They also used "berk" on one occasion.

[slaymesoftly]

Hee! I like this. Perhaps more links from RRU coming up...