If you can't laugh now, you'll never be able to later

[m4moony]

Date: 27 March, 2000
Day: Monday
Time: Sometime after this
Location: Spinner's End

Comments

[elegante_fleur]

Remus -

I will be at Gringott's in the morning, but if you want to stop by sometime after 1 we would be more than happy to have the company. Avec l'amour, Fleur

Private to Fleur

[m4moony]

After one it is. I'll look forward to it.

Until then.

RJL

Private to Remus

[broken_harry]

You know me, Remus, always so impulsive. Plus, I just love giving Skeeter the scoop on all my goings-on.

I guess we were all a little blind to the press at that gala, otherwise I might have caught on when someone asked me what I thought of Snape and Ginny dancing together. I managed to keep my mouth shut - thankfully I didn't say what I really thought. Small miracles.

Besides wondering why the world has gone mental, I'm doing well, as well as I have been since - for a long time. While we're not engaged, Ginny and I are dating now. I'm still a bit lost in all this. Well, a lot lost most days. I still have no idea what I'm doing and...that day is constantly on my mind. What I did, how it felt - things I'd rather not think about, although they seem to have other ideas. I keep having these nightmares where But she helps. She helps a lot. I think I need that right now. Maybe it's still too soon, I don't know...I just want to be happy again, Remus.

Now it's my turn - How are you, Remus?

-H

Private to Harry

[m4moony]

Ah well. I think we're damned if we do/damned if we don't, when it comes to the press in any case. Had I answered honestly, instead of being the poor unfortunate friend of Harry Potter being led astray, I'd have been the dark evil non-human working with Severus to over throw the Ministry.

But, here now. You're seeing Ginny again? That's wonderful news! You deserve to have this, Harry. It gets easier. I wish I could promise that it might go away all together. If it does, it takes longer than I've experienced so far. Having that, having Ginny in your life that way, it's good. It will help you heal faster.

I'm fine for the most part. Having tea at Fleur and Bill's tomorrow. Thinking that it's about time I start looking for work again. Lazing about's been fun, but it doesn't contribute much to the household. Not to mention, it gets boring rapidly.

RJL

Re: Private to Harry

[broken_harry]

You're right. Had I said anything, it probably would have been me being declared the next Dark Lord in training. 'No comment' just doesn't seem to be enough anymore. Not that it ever was.

Thank you, Remus. I'm not kidding myself...I know this isn't going to go away. It just...it isn't the only thing when she's around. Which, don't mean to pry Remus, but maybe it would help you too. If I deserve this, which I'm still not certain I do, there's no question in my mind that you do too.

Tea at Bill and Fleur's. An afternoon with Fleur? Recounting Quidditch plays in my head - that's what works for me. Good luck.

What's this about work, Remus? What did you have in mind? And contributing to the household? I take it that means you'll be staying at Spinner's End for a while then? I've been thinking a lot about that sort of thing myself. What do you do when everything your life had been about is over now? Is it like that for you? I mean, it was always been about killing Voldemort. What do I do now? Merlin, I never even graduated Hogwarts!-H

Private to Harry

[m4moony]

An afternoon with Fleur is not as bad as all that. Acually, she's promised to tell me about her experiences with the tournament six years ago. I've got your stories, but you know I'm never satisfied with only one method of attack in a given situation

Private to Lupin

[subtle_simmer]

You clearly have more faith in the amount of sense out in the populace at large than I do.

I am torn between humour at the ridiculousness of it--do I look like a man capable of gathering willing 'followers'? To unwilling slightly prideful amusement that she clearly thought me capable enough of it to make it the premise of her drivel. To utter fatigue and dismay--I had more true privacy in my actions in service of the first Dark Lord. How is this an improvement?

Forgive me, Lupin, as I indulge in a moment of whinging--I will be glad to reciprocate should you wish.

I am TIRED. I just want to be left alone. If I had wanted to be 'the next Dark Lord', would I really be sitting in this hovel surrounded by known deserters of the 'cause'?

Well. At least I am able to continue to provide fodder for amusement and mockery.

For what it is worth, I am heartily sorry your lot was dragged into this by association.

S. Snape

Private to Severus

[m4moony]

Or, I'm just better at pretending I do.

No forgiveness is necessary. Everyone deserves a few moments of indulgent whinging, Severus. You no less than any other.

You've done more for 'the cause', Albus' cause, than nearly anyone. You deserve to be left alone if that's your wish. As I said, Skeeter goes looking for where she thinks she can find the most scandalous tale, what buttons she can push to make people squirm -- and she's not nearly as adept at pushing buttons as a potions master in my acquaintance.

Please don't apologize. Our presence here is a large part of the reason you're being singled out like this. I certainly never wanted your generosity in taking us in to be used against you in this way. And part of the blame for that, I freely admit, lies with my unwillingness to disassociate myself from you.

So, I suppose this just means we're once again in it together, whatever comes of it.

RJL

Private to Lupin

[subtle_simmer]

I do not understand you at all. I do not know how to be as 'forgiving' as you are, nor as trusting, nor as understanding. I do not comprehend how, in spite of my admittedly deplorable behaviour over the past week, you are still willing to take the time and effort to offer me words of encouragement and comfort. I do not understand why you are willing to do this, after everything else you have already done on my behalf, after everything else I already owe you. Why you profess willingness to support me, to be 'in this together' when you must be equally as sick of this mess as I.

I cannot begin to understand it. I certainly do not deserve it.

Nonetheless, I appreciate it.

S. Snape

Re: Private to Lupin

[m4moony]

There's not much to understand, really. I spent twelve years wandering around Europe in bitterness and that didn't make me happy. I tasted revenge and it not only didn't make me happy; it made me frightened of myself. I figure, it can't hurt to give forgiveness a try this time around. It certainly takes less energy to maintain than the rest did.

I told you at that first meeting in Aberforth's hidden room that I regretted how things had turned out between us and I would try not to make the same mistakes again. This is the way friendship works. We make mistakes and we forgive each other and we try to learn from them and move on. There are moments over the last few days where my own behavior was not so gracious as it should have been either.

There is no debt between us, Severus. You owe me nothing. One day, maybe you'll understand that.

RJL