If you can't laugh now, you'll never be able to later
Date: 27 March, 2000
Day: Monday
Time: Sometime after this
Location: Spinner's End
( Private to Harry )
Day: Monday
Time: Sometime after this
Location: Spinner's End
( Private to Harry )
If I was under any illusion you thought things would be easy, I'd be a lot more worried about you, Harry. But, I know you. If anything, you'll end up being harder on yourself than anyone else possibly could. Ginny will be good for you. It's about time you had something of happiness in your life. Besides, I need someone to live vicariously through. You're not prying...there's nothing to pry into. Someday, maybe...
I'm not really sure I have anything specific in mind. I've been everything from a private tutor to a bookseller to handyman, even a Hogwarts Professor. Mostly, I take whatever I can. During the war, there were other things taking precedence, friends and allies who would see that the pack ate during the truly lean times. But now...well, there aren't many like the Weasley Twins who will knowingly offer work to a werewolf.
But you, Harry, you have the world open to you...and not just because you're 'The Saviour' or some other balderdash. What did you think you'd be doing before the war claimed you? What makes you smile to think of doing it for your whole life from here on? I wouldn't worry too much about not graduating. Many students were denied their schooling through these last months of the war. Perhaps, if you are worried, you could speak to Minerva about arranging NEWT exams for you and your fellows. I'm sure that would please Hermione, as well.
RJL
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I know she's good for me, Remus. It's whether I'm good for her that has me worried. Don't start living vicariously through me quite yet, I still have no idea what I'm doing. And that happiness bit? The same can be said of you, Remus. More so in my opinion.
I'm not sure I could see you behind the counter at the Twins' Shop, although I don't imagine you'd be lacking for entertainment. I hear Zak is enjoying his work there. But, since you mention it, why not go back to work at Hogwarts. You were, by far, the best Professor I ever had there and you know the Headmistress wouldn't bat an eyelash at your being a werewolf. Just an idea.
The only thing I really considered being was an Auror. But that was before. These days, the Ministry is the last place I'd want to work. I'm not even sure if I wanted to do that for me or for what I was told I should be doing. There really is no 'before the war claimed me', Remus. I was eleven then and had no idea that magic and Hogwarts even existed. I was already fighting Voldemort before I hit twelve. Is it odd that I have no idea what to do with myself now that he's dead?
I'll think about asking the Headmistress about the NEWTs. It's a good idea. Thank you. And yes, Hermione would probably jump at the chance. She always loved tests.
-H
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Harry, you're James' son. So, why do you sound so much like me?
What you're doing is living. It's what you're supposed to do. For myself, I'm happy content to just have really good friends. Don't worry too much about me, Harry. That sort of happiness, well, it just isn't for me right now. Maybe someday. But there's a lot of baggage that comes with this old wolf and I'm still learning what some of that is myself.
Oh, I would love to go back Hogwarts when she opens. Despite the way things turned out, that was one of the best years of my life, the year I spent teaching there. But, I resigned for a reason, one that hasn't changed. It's not whether Minerva would care -- Albus certainly didn't -- though the Board of Directors and the parents of the students surely would. The fact of the matter remains, I am still a werewolf. Even with the potion, there's still a risk. you saw what happened when I missed even one dose. There are enough children and others who will be forced to live as I have thanks to Greyback's activities during the war. If any more were to be injured because of me, or another mistake such as that... It's too big a risk, Harry. Much too big of a risk.
No, I'll manage. I may go back to private tutoring. Particularly in the Muggle world, it's a fairly flexible profession if I keep too temporary posts and it's almost like teaching at Hogwarts.
Fighting Voldemort and being claimed by war are not necessarily the same thing, Harry. I wouldn't have said you had been claimed by war when you were my student. Touched by it, caught up in something bigger than any of us knew, maybe. But it wasn't yet your life. You had school and friends and Quidditch. There has always been much more to you than 'The Chosen One'. You just have to find a way to reconnect with that part of yourself again.
RJL
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