Hermione Granger and the Big Family Secret
So, a while back, miamadwyn posted this video on her LJ:
Click to viewThe last line in the video was sort of a challenge to me. I thought, "I love Harry Potter and Mamma Mia! I'm even quite fond of this video. I should be able to write a bad fanfic about all of that!" Let's hope it turns out to be more silly than bad. I thought it would be a fun writing warm-up for the SSHG Exchange.
Not having permission to use Abba's lyrics, I have rewritten the lyrics from the movie Mamma Mia! Any resemblance to Abba's songs is purely intentional and meant to bring them to mind without horribly breaking copyright laws. Any trace of campiness you find in this story is meant to salute the tone of the movie Mamma Mia! and the video above. In fact, if you haven't watched the video yet, I would encourage you to do so. Otherwise, you might think I've truly gone off the deep end.
This story is completely AU after Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. It had to be, or I couldn't have used the video as inspiration. This is a work of fanfiction. I do not own the characters of either universe, and no one would pay me for this.
Now that I've got that out of the way, on to the silliness! Presenting...
Hermione Granger and the Big Family Secret
aka Harry Potter and the Mamma Mia Story: A Bad Fanfic
Part 1: I Have a Dream
In the late Scottish dusk, a figure could be seen walking from the castle. The last glow from the setting sun outlined the bulk of Hogwarts Castle with its graceful towers and turrets. Hermione Granger climbed the stairs to the owlery where she glanced out across the grounds. The pale, crescent moon shone in the eastern sky, giving the lake its twilight shimmer as the stars began to peek out.
Entering the owlery, she called three of the school’s owls to her. Looking at the owls lined up before her, Hermione took a deep breath, a determined look on her face. “I can do this.” Attaching a creamy envelope to the leg of the first owl, she said, “Please take this to Remus Lupin.” With a hoot, the speckled owl flew away.
An envelope matching the first was tied to the leg of another owl. The instruction, “Take this to Severus Snape, please,” caused the white owl to spread his strong wings and silently fly away.
Another identical envelope was attached to the third owl’s leg. “This is to go to Sirius Black,” was Hermione’s instruction to the tawny creature before it flew away.
She watched as the last owl flew off into the night before descending the stairs on the way back to her room. Running through the background of her thoughts was a song that had come to mean more and more over the last few years:
I dream a dream,
To help me cope,
To learn to live,
To give me hope,
To look into the future,
Not yearning for the past,
To find someone to love me
And happiness that lasts.
I need someone to show me,
Someone to show me who I’ll be someday,
Someone who can guide me,
Someone who can help me find my way.
A hope, a gleam-
I dream a dream.
**********
A few weeks later
In his small cottage in Cornwall, Remus Lupin was packing his trunk. It stood open like a small wardrobe in his bedroom. Two pairs of shoes were already lined up along the bottom of the trunk. A small stack of drawers up one side of the trunk held smaller items. Inside one of these he placed a large, creamy envelope. A large open space of the trunk was being filled with his wizard’s robes.
He stared at the accumulated robes for a moment before waving his wand to remove one set of robes and substituting another from the large wardrobe in his bedroom. Smiling, he began to hum a song as he walked across the room to where a small, wooden box sat atop his chest of drawers. He opened it and rummaged for a bit before finding a wizarding photo towards the bottom. He pulled it out and looked at it nostalgically for a moment. Then he carefully placed it in his wallet.
He heard a tapping on his window and walked over to see an owl waiting for admittance. He opened the window and untied a small envelope from the owl’s leg, giving the owl a treat before it flew away. He opened the envelope and pulled out his ticket for the Hogwarts Express. His smile turned into a grin. He was going to Hermione Granger’s wedding.
**********
Severus Snape sat in his sitting room at Spinners End in Manchester. Although the furniture was old and well-used, the room had a cared-for look about it. The wood of the tables and the many bookcases were well-polished, and the books themselves were dust-free.
Snape appeared to be reading, but the careful observer would have noted that he wasn’t turning the pages with any degree of regularity. Eventually, he sat looking at his book without turning the pages at all. After several minutes, he shook his head with an exasperated sigh and closed his book. Laying it on the side table next to his chair, he picked up the creamy envelope that had been there.
He pulled out the card and looked at it with a puzzled air before gazing out the window with a faraway look in his eye and a small, upward tilt to his lips. He stood with decision and called, “Winky!”
A small house-elf in a neat tea towel appeared. “Yes, sir?”
“I will be attending Hermione Granger’s wedding at Hogwarts. I’ll be leaving tomorrow. Please pack what I need for a few days.”
“Master is going to the SPEW-girl’s wedding?” Winky couldn’t hide her distaste.
Snape snorted. “Yes, I’m going to the insufferable know-it-all’s wedding.” He paused a moment. “Make sure to pack my green dress robes.”
“If Master insists,” Winky answered, her tone full of doubt.
“Master does insist. Thank you, Winky.” Severus sat back down in his chair, picked up his book and began to read, finally able to concentrate again.
**********
Harry Potter was walking through the entrance hall of Number 12 Grimmauld Place in London on his way to the study when he was startled by Sirius Black sliding down the banister shouting, “Whoo-hoo!”
“Sirius, what’s going on?” Harry asked, laughing at his godfather’s antics.
“Blood traitors and sons of Mudbloods desecrating my house!” shrieked Mrs. Black’s portrait.
“Oh, shut up, you old hag!” Sirius slid to the bottom of the banister, gracefully jumping to the floor, all while flourishing his wand to close the curtains that covered the portrait. “I’ll be going to Hermione’s wedding!”
“Well... that’s great, Sirius. Is that what you’re shouting about?”
“I’m happy for Hermione, Harry. She did help me get freedom-along with you, of course.” Sirius had walked to the broom closet, a place where the family had kept all their flying brooms. The closet had been magically enlarged to contain the motorcycle that Hagrid had returned to Sirius after his freedom had finally been won. He rolled the cycle out into the entrance hall and gave it a fond look while he ran his hand along the seat.
“Are you planning on taking your motorcycle?” asked Harry. “Why don’t you just floo or Apparate?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Sirius said with a nostalgic smile. “I just feel like riding the motorcycle for old time’s sake.”
~more to come~
If you'd like to hear the real song that my lyrics are based on, click the link:
I Have A Dream - Abba Lyrics & Listen
On to Part 2