Paranoid Doll

[m_i_s_a_k_i]

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Artist: Gakupo
Lyrics/Music composition: Natsu-P

捕われた行き場のない心 動けなくなる
Torawareta ikiba no nai kokoro Ugokenaku naru
A captured heart that has nowhere to go Became immobile

自分の感情さえ見えない 目を背けてる
Jibun no kimochi sae mieani Me wo somuketeru
Not seeing my own feelings I turn my eyes away

手のひらに包まれている蝶のように
Te no hira ni tsutsumareteiru chou no you ni
I'm holding them in my hands just like a butter fly

飛びたくても飛べない翅が
Tobinakute mo tobenai hane ga
I want to fly but I have wings that don't

「都合のいいように生きればいいよ」
"Tsugou no ii you ni ikireba ii yo"
"You should just live your life like you want!"

「苦しいなんて言わせないから」
"Kurushii nante iwasenai kara"
"Don't say that you're suffering!"

耳元で聞こえる誘惑
Mimimoto de kikoeru yuuwaku
These temptations I hear at the bottom of my ear

自由を求めては 辿り着けず
Jiyuu wo motomete ha Tadoritsukezu
Not finding it, I seek for freedom

居場所のない現実に
Ibasho no nai genjitsu ni
In this reality without a place (for me)

思い通りにならない地図を眺めている
Omoidoori ni naranai chizu wo nagamete iru
Looking at this unwanted map

身体が切り裂かれ 痛みに消えていく
Karada ga kirisakare Itami ni kiete iku
My body was sliced up and disappeared into pain

記憶も願いも
Kioku mo negai mo
Both memories and wishes

切なく色づき 左手に忘れられぬ傷
Setsunaku irozuki Hidarite ni wasurerarenu kizu
Are changing their colors painfully In my left hand is an unforgettable wound

ボクハ パラノイア
BOKU HA Paranoia
I am paranoid*

繋がれた手足 隠された瞳の中に
Tsunagareta teashi Kakusareta hitomi no naka ni
Tied up limbs Hidden in my eyes

思い出す あの面影は幻なのか
Omoidasu Ano omokage ha maboroshi nanoka
I'm starting to think, is that face an illusion

「全部捨ててしまえば楽になれるよ」
"Zenbu sutete shimaeba raku ni nareru yo"
"Everything will be better if you throw it away!"

「痛みが快感に変わっていくよ」
"Itami ga kaikan ni kawatte iku yo"
"The pain will turn into (pleasant) feelings"

手渡される 禁断の赤い実
Tewatasareru kindan no akai mi
I was given a forbidden red fruit

自分らしさなんて わからなくて
Jibunrashisa nante wakaranakute
I don't understand "being myself"

過去に縛られ 繰り返す
Kako ni shibarare kurikaesu
Again I'm tied to my past

時の過ちに気付かずに "あの実をください"
Toki no ayamachi ni kizukazu ni "ano mi wo kudasai"
Without noticing the time's mistakes (I say) "That fruit, please"

手に入れたいものを 掴めなくて
Te ni iretai mono wo Tsukamenakute
I can't obtain the things I want

消えない傷を増やすだけ
Kienai kizu wo fuyasu dake
I only get wounds that won't heal

気付いてしまった 見知らぬ世界に残された
Kizutsuite shimatta Mishiranu sekai ni nokosareta
When I noticed this, I was already left alone in this strange world

ボクハ パラノイア
BOKU HA Paranoia
I am paranoid

うなだれる首
Unadareru kubi
My head is hanging

聞こえない耳
Kikoenai mimi
My ears are deaf

叫べない喉
Sakebenai hodo
My throat isn't screaming

動けない足
Ugokenai ashi
My feet aren't moving

これが現実か夢かわからない
Kore ga shinjitsu ka yume ka wakaranai
I don't know whether this is reality or a dream

でも君は確かに僕を見ていた
Demo kimi ha tashika ni boku wo mite ita
But you were surely looking for me

暗い闇の中で もがきながら
Kurai yami no naka de Mogaki nagara
While fighting in the depth of darkness

何度も自分を見つけてる
Nandomo jibun wo mitsuketeru
I found myself several times

右手に残る赤い色 バラバラの蝶々
Migite ni nokoru akai iro BARABARA no chouchou
They are remaining in my right hand, red scattering butterflies

このまま眠らずに 歩き続ければ
Konomama nemurazu ni aruki tsuzukereba
When, like this, I don't sleep, when I continue walking

いつかは辿り着ける？
Itsuka ha tadoritsukeru?
When will I be at my goal?

行く手に 君の足跡が見える もう戻れない
Yuku te ni Kimi no ashiato ga mieru Mou modorenai
Ahead I see your footprints, I can't go back

ボクハ パラノイア
BOKU HA Paranoia
I am paranoid

*Boku ha paranoia: Yupp, here comes the difference between "ha" and "ga". Since "ha" is just a topic marker, the sentence would be correctly translated into "About me, Paranoia", so I interpreted as "I am paranoid"