BSG meta: Sam Anders, marriage, etc.
Will contain spoilers through Taking a Break, read at own risk, etc.
1. Sam Anders is not weak, a pushover, or stupid for marrying the woman he loves.
2. Sam Anders is none of the above for wanting his marriage to last. And he's certainly not an idiot for trying to keep his wife, even at the cost of her fidelity.
3. Lee Adama is not stupid for wanting his marriage to last, either.
4. Anastasia Dualla does not deserve everything that's happening to her, just because she broke Billy's heart. She certainly doesn't deserve it for any OTHER reason, either.
5. Billy Keikeya would bitch-slap all of you for hating on her.
Let's turn this around, shall we?
Kara married Lee, and is now attempting to cheat on him with Sam. Is Lee stupid for marrying Kara, even though she lusts/loves another man?
Is Lee stupid for trying to keep his marriage together?
Oh, wait, am I hearing loud shouts of NO from the K/L shippers? Gosh. Color me surprised.
Kara married Lee, and now Lee's cheating on her with Dee. Does Kara deserve to be cheated on for marrying Lee when Sam asked her first and she broke his heart?
Although, I'm sure you'll all tell me that reversing it doesn't work, since Kara doesn't really love Sam. And Lee doesn't really love Dee.
And that whole spending months planning and plotting and trying desperately to get back to Caprica for Sam? Yeah. That was just 'cause Kara keeps her word. Yup. The tattoos? They were drunk. Marrying him? To run away from Lee and the Fabulous Future they would have as Lee and the little woman. Continuing to have sex with him, when she could easily have sex with anyone else on the ship? Well, he's convenient, and he knows how to hit certain spots. Warning him that she wants to hurt him? You always give a guy a chance to run before you cut his balls off.
Whichever religion you subscribe to: Kara/Anders, Kara/Lee, Kara/Leoben, Kara/Anyone but all three? Get your thumbs out of your asses and stop being idiots.
Marriage is not some pass to Happy Bunny Land, wherein you and your partner are magically and forever in sync. Frankly, if Kara and Lee were to actually get married, I think she'd get bored with him inside six months, and he'd be frustrated by her lack of commitment to their marriage vows. I don't think they would have matching tattoos.
Also, I don't think Lee's ego is big enough to combat Kara's. She'd run over him in days, wherea Sam has one hell of an ego that comfortably jostles hers. (please see Hand of God and Resistance--and Home and The Farm, come to think of it)
Moving on, let me restate: Sam Anders is not stupid for marrying the woman he loves and sticking by her, even when she strays. He. Loves. Her. That means, all the shit she pulls, and the crap she does, he's there and constant. He believes in her, he thinks that she needs to be her own person. He accepts that she is never going to change and deals with it.
He walks back into her life, in TaB, with a plan. He's going to get his marriage back.
Do I think he's coldly calculating? No.
I think he went with an agenda, though. And he thought he'd wait until after the sex to talk--which, honestly, can you blame the man? And if Kara kicked him out for trying to talk about their marriage, then he'd just leave. But she didn't.
She mocks him, with her accommodating line. And while she's right, he doesn't let it pass. The comment about her Destiny? Some of that might have been because he had been thinking about it, but I think some was because there's still an edge between them.
And then, because she laughs, he answers her question.
It's really very simple. He's accommodating because he wants their marriage to work. They've gone through so much, and he's not going to just let her go.
And, yes, in the short term, he let her go. He said, "go to Lee. Find out wtf is up there, and if it works? Fine. If it doesn't, I'm still gonna be here, Kara."
The latter, especially, is reinforced by him telling her he loves her. Which, in itself, isn't something she hears often--sure, Lee said it a couple times. But Lee was never able to get under the Starbuck glare until he'd frakked her, and even then, it didn't really work.
And Sam isn't expecting to hear it back. He's just letting her know.
Lee always seems to need to hear it back, when he says it. Lee seems to want her to be this one Great Love Thing. He 'gets' Kara, apparently, despite the fact that he generally fails at understanding her or even having a clue what makes her tick.
Sam, otoh, wants her to be her. He gets her, he knows how to get past the facade and poke at the woman underneath. Sometimes, he gets it wrong. But he generally gets it right. And he loves her, no matter what. He's tried to let her go and can't--and he has a point. He didn't survive all those months waiting for her, just to decide he doesn't love her. And, dammit, he didn't survive four months being a terrorist while trying to find her to let HER give up, either.
Not only that, they've TRIED the separate thing. LOOK HOW WELL IT'S GONE. She calls him for quickies.
The first time (though I don't think it was the first) that we see them post-sex after their 'break-up', she's not fast enough at getting out of the room--and I also think she really was planning on going to the dance, and the sex took the edge off--anyway.
So. The first time, Sam tried to bring up their marriage, and she wasn't ready. Not really. All she wanted to do was slam the door on him and run.
This time?
Kara was expecting Sam to say something about their marriage, and she, half-heartedly, tried to head it off with that comment about him being accommodating... There's a resignation to her, though, as if she's expecting him to push and being ready to ignore the push--or, just perhaps, she's almost ready for their marriage again. Except that he ambushes her with Destiny, and the cold facts: neither of them survived just to give up on their marriage. Also? If she loves Lee, she should go to him.
We can only assume that when Sam said, "Hey, go to him," her brain went, "...but I don't want Lee forever. And if I go, and if he says yes, I'm frakked." But she still wanted to see if that's what he wanted. So she went, and he snarked at her and his reply told her exactly what she'd figured: that he would make her kill him within a year of getting married. So she didn't push.
Although, damnit, I want to see the scene where she called up Sam and said, "Yeah. So. Not leaving you."
But then, I want the scene where she tells Sam about Leoben, too. So... sigh.
And I want to know if she's told LEE about Leoben or not. Sadly, thanks to Ron's preferences, I'm pretty sure we'll get to see THAT scene before we ever see the Kara and Sam scene.
1. Sam Anders is not weak, a pushover, or stupid for marrying the woman he loves.
2. Sam Anders is none of the above for wanting his marriage to last. And he's certainly not an idiot for trying to keep his wife, even at the cost of her fidelity.
3. Lee Adama is not stupid for wanting his marriage to last, either.
4. Anastasia Dualla does not deserve everything that's happening to her, just because she broke Billy's heart. She certainly doesn't deserve it for any OTHER reason, either.
5. Billy Keikeya would bitch-slap all of you for hating on her.
Let's turn this around, shall we?
Kara married Lee, and is now attempting to cheat on him with Sam. Is Lee stupid for marrying Kara, even though she lusts/loves another man?
Is Lee stupid for trying to keep his marriage together?
Oh, wait, am I hearing loud shouts of NO from the K/L shippers? Gosh. Color me surprised.
Kara married Lee, and now Lee's cheating on her with Dee. Does Kara deserve to be cheated on for marrying Lee when Sam asked her first and she broke his heart?
Although, I'm sure you'll all tell me that reversing it doesn't work, since Kara doesn't really love Sam. And Lee doesn't really love Dee.
And that whole spending months planning and plotting and trying desperately to get back to Caprica for Sam? Yeah. That was just 'cause Kara keeps her word. Yup. The tattoos? They were drunk. Marrying him? To run away from Lee and the Fabulous Future they would have as Lee and the little woman. Continuing to have sex with him, when she could easily have sex with anyone else on the ship? Well, he's convenient, and he knows how to hit certain spots. Warning him that she wants to hurt him? You always give a guy a chance to run before you cut his balls off.
Whichever religion you subscribe to: Kara/Anders, Kara/Lee, Kara/Leoben, Kara/Anyone but all three? Get your thumbs out of your asses and stop being idiots.
Marriage is not some pass to Happy Bunny Land, wherein you and your partner are magically and forever in sync. Frankly, if Kara and Lee were to actually get married, I think she'd get bored with him inside six months, and he'd be frustrated by her lack of commitment to their marriage vows. I don't think they would have matching tattoos.
Also, I don't think Lee's ego is big enough to combat Kara's. She'd run over him in days, wherea Sam has one hell of an ego that comfortably jostles hers. (please see Hand of God and Resistance--and Home and The Farm, come to think of it)
Moving on, let me restate: Sam Anders is not stupid for marrying the woman he loves and sticking by her, even when she strays. He. Loves. Her. That means, all the shit she pulls, and the crap she does, he's there and constant. He believes in her, he thinks that she needs to be her own person. He accepts that she is never going to change and deals with it.
He walks back into her life, in TaB, with a plan. He's going to get his marriage back.
Do I think he's coldly calculating? No.
I think he went with an agenda, though. And he thought he'd wait until after the sex to talk--which, honestly, can you blame the man? And if Kara kicked him out for trying to talk about their marriage, then he'd just leave. But she didn't.
She mocks him, with her accommodating line. And while she's right, he doesn't let it pass. The comment about her Destiny? Some of that might have been because he had been thinking about it, but I think some was because there's still an edge between them.
And then, because she laughs, he answers her question.
It's really very simple. He's accommodating because he wants their marriage to work. They've gone through so much, and he's not going to just let her go.
And, yes, in the short term, he let her go. He said, "go to Lee. Find out wtf is up there, and if it works? Fine. If it doesn't, I'm still gonna be here, Kara."
The latter, especially, is reinforced by him telling her he loves her. Which, in itself, isn't something she hears often--sure, Lee said it a couple times. But Lee was never able to get under the Starbuck glare until he'd frakked her, and even then, it didn't really work.
And Sam isn't expecting to hear it back. He's just letting her know.
Lee always seems to need to hear it back, when he says it. Lee seems to want her to be this one Great Love Thing. He 'gets' Kara, apparently, despite the fact that he generally fails at understanding her or even having a clue what makes her tick.
Sam, otoh, wants her to be her. He gets her, he knows how to get past the facade and poke at the woman underneath. Sometimes, he gets it wrong. But he generally gets it right. And he loves her, no matter what. He's tried to let her go and can't--and he has a point. He didn't survive all those months waiting for her, just to decide he doesn't love her. And, dammit, he didn't survive four months being a terrorist while trying to find her to let HER give up, either.
Not only that, they've TRIED the separate thing. LOOK HOW WELL IT'S GONE. She calls him for quickies.
The first time (though I don't think it was the first) that we see them post-sex after their 'break-up', she's not fast enough at getting out of the room--and I also think she really was planning on going to the dance, and the sex took the edge off--anyway.
So. The first time, Sam tried to bring up their marriage, and she wasn't ready. Not really. All she wanted to do was slam the door on him and run.
This time?
Kara was expecting Sam to say something about their marriage, and she, half-heartedly, tried to head it off with that comment about him being accommodating... There's a resignation to her, though, as if she's expecting him to push and being ready to ignore the push--or, just perhaps, she's almost ready for their marriage again. Except that he ambushes her with Destiny, and the cold facts: neither of them survived just to give up on their marriage. Also? If she loves Lee, she should go to him.
We can only assume that when Sam said, "Hey, go to him," her brain went, "...but I don't want Lee forever. And if I go, and if he says yes, I'm frakked." But she still wanted to see if that's what he wanted. So she went, and he snarked at her and his reply told her exactly what she'd figured: that he would make her kill him within a year of getting married. So she didn't push.
Although, damnit, I want to see the scene where she called up Sam and said, "Yeah. So. Not leaving you."
But then, I want the scene where she tells Sam about Leoben, too. So... sigh.
And I want to know if she's told LEE about Leoben or not. Sadly, thanks to Ron's preferences, I'm pretty sure we'll get to see THAT scene before we ever see the Kara and Sam scene.