Denial 1/1
Title: Denial
Author: Amber
Rating: R for language
Summary: A breakup, a confrontation, a moment in darkness.
"Don't you ever even think - "
"You don't get it, Luke. You just don't get it."
"I can't live like this anymore - I can't keep bowing down, begging you for -"
"What are you talking about? I love you. I need you. I want to be with you forever. But I just can't devote my life to -"
"To what? To taking care of me? To making sure poor widdle Luke has all his emotional needs met -"
"God dammit, just listen to me. I need my space. I need to figure out how to be my own man again, to make -"
"No! Fuck you, you never even put out, you just kept making excuses - you - " the words clench in my teeth, pure acid.
"Fuck me? Fuck you, Luke Snyder. If you can't be with me, then you can just -"
"Gladly. I don't ever want to see you again. So much for true love, you selfish little prick."
I storm to Katie's apartment. Knock rapidly. Quick, tap tap tap. My knuckle is bruised on the wood, but fuck it. Knock knock anyway.
He answers me. Lines of shock I see spread on his cheeks, a converging tidal wave.
"Let me in," I grit, desperate. Clinging to sanity.
"Sure." he says. He puts his hand on my shoulder, guides me inside. I tremble at the touch. I shrug him off, walk unseeing into the darkness of the living room.
"Katie and Jacob are asleep." he murmurs, immediately finding me in the dark. His hands skate against my shoulders, gently push me onto the couch. He turns on a single lamp, and I find his face suddenly vivid in the light.
"Reid," I say. "I - I broke up with Noah. I can't do it anymore. I can't be half a man. I can't constantly scrap for the little pieces he deigns to give me."
His hand clutches at my cheek, before drawing back, quickly denied. He turns from me, staring at the lamp intently.
Before I am aware, I stand, try to hug from behind.
"Let me in." I whimper. My hands fall, sprawl, scrap against his stomach, slowly stroking.
He elegantly steps out of my grasp, turns to face me.
Sudden rage. His face, terrifying in the sprawling darkness. His hand once again, reaches for my cheek, falls useless against his hip.
Tap tap tap.
I see my opening. I step closer, pull his head towards mine. Clutch, clench, kiss, digging for tongue. His tongue melts against my mouth, like a Hershey’s chocolate bar. My thumbs brush his cheeks, gentle, fondling. I rest my nose against his nose.
He pushes me away, letting me fall back into the couch.
The fierce anger, overriding the undeniable lust.
"You don't fucking get it, do you?" he whispers. "How dare you, you miserable little boy?"
I smirk at his insult, and thrust my hips forward. I am brazen. I am starving.
"Just a taste." I say.
His jaw clenches, and I almost come, just watching him. His gaze is even and loaded. He stands only a few inches from me, staring into my eyes.
I attempt to stand, but his hand finds my chest, and shoves me against the couch. With his right hand, he tweaks my nipple, and claims my mouth in a demanding kiss.
His left hand trails down my chest to my groin. He hesitates for the briefest second, before diving into my jeans to cup my erect cock.
"Reid," I groan, thrusting against his questing hand.
He pulls back abruptly and glares at me darkly. Hearing his name seems to have awakened him from a trance.
"Get out," he snarls. His hand, still covered in pre-cum, grasps, and wrenches me off the couch.
He bodily forces me out of the apartment. His hand is a firebrand in my hand, and my right hand cups his cheek at the door.
"No!" he growls, forcing the door, and relinquishing my hand. "Let us get one thing straight, Mr. Snyder. I don't play games. I don't cheat. I don't want to see you again until you are completely over that ignorant twit of a boyfriend. I will never treat you like a piece of crap on my shoe. But I expect the same respect from you. Do you understand me?"
I have no choice but to nod.
Before I know it, I am outside his apartment, breathing heavily. I grimace, and walk out of the apartment, my erection aching with every step.
Finally, I go back home, and find myself jerking off in the bathroom. His name is on my lips, but I bite back it with each thrust.
In the morning, Noah finds me, my cock limp against my thigh.
"Luke?" he asks. "Are you okay?"
I blink, bleary with sleep, at the man I used to call my true love.
"It's over, Noah." I say dully. "You can't keep pushing me away, and expect me to follow you, begging. I went through enough crap with my alcoholism, and I'll be damned, if I stay in this toxic relationship with you for a minute longer."
I get up, gently but forcefully push him out of the bathroom. I shower, and with the cleansing water, I imagine every inch of Noah washing into the drain.
I step out of the bathroom, and silently get dressed.
He watches, confused and resentful.
"I made myself clear." I say firmly. "Get your stuff and get out."
"Luke - "
"Get out!" I roar, turning to face him down.
His eyes crinkle into sadness, but he nods and exits the room.
I dress, my hands trembling as I grab each piece of clothing.
Finally, I stare at the mirror, looking at the clean, fresh-faced man sadly staring back at me.
I want to call Reid; the ache in my chest is overwhelming.
But I remember his words, and so I continue to stare into the mirror.
In a daze, I lock the door where Noah left just minutes before.
I collapse into bed, closing my eyes. Blonde hair invades my thoughts, and crisp blue eyes, deep as the ocean bubble up.
Sleep. All I need is sleep.
In my dreams, Reid is there.
He smooths my brow, pulls the sheets over my body. He sits in a chair, watching me sleep.
When I wake, he is there.
"I thought you said - "
His eyes are hooded, but a slight smile softens his features.
"Despite your idiocy, I can't seem to stay away. But there will be absolutely no sex." As he speaks, he is slowly drifting towards the bed.
I yawn, gratefully.
"No sex." I say slowly. "Why did you come, Reid? Really?"
His hands slowly rub my arms, providing an indescribable warmth. He carefully eases into the bed, pulling me towards him in a warm hug.
"Later, Richie Rich." he says softly. "Later."
My hands land on his stomach, as if they were meant to be there.
I feel sleep once more overtaking me.
As I drift, I feel the soft press of his lips against my temple.
"I don't deserve you, Dr. Oliver." the words puff out of my mouth, dreamlike impressions.
A light chuckle pierces my thoughts.
"I know . . . Luke."
Sleep claims me, his hands gently makes circles on my back.
One more phrase invades my consciousness, a comforting balm to my aching soul.
"I will never hurt you, Luke Snyder."
Author: Amber
Rating: R for language
Summary: A breakup, a confrontation, a moment in darkness.
"Don't you ever even think - "
"You don't get it, Luke. You just don't get it."
"I can't live like this anymore - I can't keep bowing down, begging you for -"
"What are you talking about? I love you. I need you. I want to be with you forever. But I just can't devote my life to -"
"To what? To taking care of me? To making sure poor widdle Luke has all his emotional needs met -"
"God dammit, just listen to me. I need my space. I need to figure out how to be my own man again, to make -"
"No! Fuck you, you never even put out, you just kept making excuses - you - " the words clench in my teeth, pure acid.
"Fuck me? Fuck you, Luke Snyder. If you can't be with me, then you can just -"
"Gladly. I don't ever want to see you again. So much for true love, you selfish little prick."
I storm to Katie's apartment. Knock rapidly. Quick, tap tap tap. My knuckle is bruised on the wood, but fuck it. Knock knock anyway.
He answers me. Lines of shock I see spread on his cheeks, a converging tidal wave.
"Let me in," I grit, desperate. Clinging to sanity.
"Sure." he says. He puts his hand on my shoulder, guides me inside. I tremble at the touch. I shrug him off, walk unseeing into the darkness of the living room.
"Katie and Jacob are asleep." he murmurs, immediately finding me in the dark. His hands skate against my shoulders, gently push me onto the couch. He turns on a single lamp, and I find his face suddenly vivid in the light.
"Reid," I say. "I - I broke up with Noah. I can't do it anymore. I can't be half a man. I can't constantly scrap for the little pieces he deigns to give me."
His hand clutches at my cheek, before drawing back, quickly denied. He turns from me, staring at the lamp intently.
Before I am aware, I stand, try to hug from behind.
"Let me in." I whimper. My hands fall, sprawl, scrap against his stomach, slowly stroking.
He elegantly steps out of my grasp, turns to face me.
Sudden rage. His face, terrifying in the sprawling darkness. His hand once again, reaches for my cheek, falls useless against his hip.
Tap tap tap.
I see my opening. I step closer, pull his head towards mine. Clutch, clench, kiss, digging for tongue. His tongue melts against my mouth, like a Hershey’s chocolate bar. My thumbs brush his cheeks, gentle, fondling. I rest my nose against his nose.
He pushes me away, letting me fall back into the couch.
The fierce anger, overriding the undeniable lust.
"You don't fucking get it, do you?" he whispers. "How dare you, you miserable little boy?"
I smirk at his insult, and thrust my hips forward. I am brazen. I am starving.
"Just a taste." I say.
His jaw clenches, and I almost come, just watching him. His gaze is even and loaded. He stands only a few inches from me, staring into my eyes.
I attempt to stand, but his hand finds my chest, and shoves me against the couch. With his right hand, he tweaks my nipple, and claims my mouth in a demanding kiss.
His left hand trails down my chest to my groin. He hesitates for the briefest second, before diving into my jeans to cup my erect cock.
"Reid," I groan, thrusting against his questing hand.
He pulls back abruptly and glares at me darkly. Hearing his name seems to have awakened him from a trance.
"Get out," he snarls. His hand, still covered in pre-cum, grasps, and wrenches me off the couch.
He bodily forces me out of the apartment. His hand is a firebrand in my hand, and my right hand cups his cheek at the door.
"No!" he growls, forcing the door, and relinquishing my hand. "Let us get one thing straight, Mr. Snyder. I don't play games. I don't cheat. I don't want to see you again until you are completely over that ignorant twit of a boyfriend. I will never treat you like a piece of crap on my shoe. But I expect the same respect from you. Do you understand me?"
I have no choice but to nod.
Before I know it, I am outside his apartment, breathing heavily. I grimace, and walk out of the apartment, my erection aching with every step.
Finally, I go back home, and find myself jerking off in the bathroom. His name is on my lips, but I bite back it with each thrust.
In the morning, Noah finds me, my cock limp against my thigh.
"Luke?" he asks. "Are you okay?"
I blink, bleary with sleep, at the man I used to call my true love.
"It's over, Noah." I say dully. "You can't keep pushing me away, and expect me to follow you, begging. I went through enough crap with my alcoholism, and I'll be damned, if I stay in this toxic relationship with you for a minute longer."
I get up, gently but forcefully push him out of the bathroom. I shower, and with the cleansing water, I imagine every inch of Noah washing into the drain.
I step out of the bathroom, and silently get dressed.
He watches, confused and resentful.
"I made myself clear." I say firmly. "Get your stuff and get out."
"Luke - "
"Get out!" I roar, turning to face him down.
His eyes crinkle into sadness, but he nods and exits the room.
I dress, my hands trembling as I grab each piece of clothing.
Finally, I stare at the mirror, looking at the clean, fresh-faced man sadly staring back at me.
I want to call Reid; the ache in my chest is overwhelming.
But I remember his words, and so I continue to stare into the mirror.
In a daze, I lock the door where Noah left just minutes before.
I collapse into bed, closing my eyes. Blonde hair invades my thoughts, and crisp blue eyes, deep as the ocean bubble up.
Sleep. All I need is sleep.
In my dreams, Reid is there.
He smooths my brow, pulls the sheets over my body. He sits in a chair, watching me sleep.
When I wake, he is there.
"I thought you said - "
His eyes are hooded, but a slight smile softens his features.
"Despite your idiocy, I can't seem to stay away. But there will be absolutely no sex." As he speaks, he is slowly drifting towards the bed.
I yawn, gratefully.
"No sex." I say slowly. "Why did you come, Reid? Really?"
His hands slowly rub my arms, providing an indescribable warmth. He carefully eases into the bed, pulling me towards him in a warm hug.
"Later, Richie Rich." he says softly. "Later."
My hands land on his stomach, as if they were meant to be there.
I feel sleep once more overtaking me.
As I drift, I feel the soft press of his lips against my temple.
"I don't deserve you, Dr. Oliver." the words puff out of my mouth, dreamlike impressions.
A light chuckle pierces my thoughts.
"I know . . . Luke."
Sleep claims me, his hands gently makes circles on my back.
One more phrase invades my consciousness, a comforting balm to my aching soul.
"I will never hurt you, Luke Snyder."