Permissions post

[lunawolves10th]

[OOC]
✟ Backtagging: Yes please.
✟ Threadhopping: Yes.
✟ Fourthwalling: Yes.
✟ Offensive subjects (elaborate):  BAHAHAHAHA NO.  Do whatever, Garvi's seen it all.

[IC]
✟ Hugging this character: Yes, expect confusion
✟ Kissing this character: Yes, but expect more confusion
✟ Flirting with this character: Yes, but expect him not to notice.
✟ Fighting with

Comments

[lunawolves10th]

I take it that's angel flonne then not devil flonne? I am totally with this.

1/3

[daruki]

Hey Bill! Ruki here, and I've been meaning to drop you some crit for a while now, but you don't have an HMD post set up anywhere, nor have you posted to Mayfield's gamewide monthly HMD. So I'll say it here, I hope you don't mind! ...Also, please keep in mind that I'm canonblind. ;; It's just issues that I've seen crop up myself when we thread, and third-party hearsay that I've caught circulating around. You're free to reply here or hit me up on AIM; personally, I just can go at my own pace and organize my thoughts better in a post, which is why that's how I'll list things. That said

2/3

[daruki]

Third, I think you've fallen in the trap of "too much telling not enough showing". As in describing how your characters are x, y, and z in your narrative, instead of having them say and do things that illustrate these points. As in instead of shoving it in other people's faces, let them draw their own conclusion. The difference can be hard to make, but it boils down to this: roleplaying is collective story-writing. People you're threading with can read, process information, and make up their own opinion. They don't need to be told how skilled and handsome your character is. Garviel constantly has his helmet on more often than not either way, doesn't he? So his physical appearances don't really matter. In fact I'm not even sure if he has his helmet on often or not; I just remember you describing how good he looks several times. ...Now please keep in mind that this is my personal opinion - others may or may not be inclined to agree, but I'm voicing it because I think it's something of an issue. You always focus on the qualities too on

3/3

[daruki]

So for a suggestion to fix it... Tone it bit, if it's possible? Try having your character react to what the other character is saying/showing too, instead of always providing descriptions of traits that focus on your character, but may not really fit with the current situation. I do recall a few times making Ciel react by changing her demeanor (trying to act coy to DISTRACT him from the topic at hand), and it feels like a hit-or-miss thing with you: you either do respond, or completely gloss over while giving me more description telling me how Garviel looks (he looks good, I get it, but my character doesn't... really care about that. ;; We've interacted often too, so this should be something that she has had more than enough occasion to witness it for herself. If she didn't react to it the first time, she won't no matter how often you bring it up again. Reminders are superfluous, and can even look a bit tacky, if anything). This is more minor, but it does get a bit frustrating sometimes. So... yes. Step back a bit and react, in such

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[daruki]

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