Permissions post

[lunawolves10th]

[OOC]
✟ Backtagging: Yes please.
✟ Threadhopping: Yes.
✟ Fourthwalling: Yes.
✟ Offensive subjects (elaborate):  BAHAHAHAHA NO.  Do whatever, Garvi's seen it all.

[IC]
✟ Hugging this character: Yes, expect confusion
✟ Kissing this character: Yes, but expect more confusion
✟ Flirting with this character: Yes, but expect him not to notice.
✟ Fighting with

Comments

1/3

[daruki]

Hey Bill! Ruki here, and I've been meaning to drop you some crit for a while now, but you don't have an HMD post set up anywhere, nor have you posted to Mayfield's gamewide monthly HMD. So I'll say it here, I hope you don't mind! ...Also, please keep in mind that I'm canonblind. ;; It's just issues that I've seen crop up myself when we thread, and third-party hearsay that I've caught circulating around. You're free to reply here or hit me up on AIM; personally, I just can go at my own pace and organize my thoughts better in a post, which is why that's how I'll list things. That said!

First of all, I think you infomod, whether you realize it or not. Infomodding means making OOC knowledge IC without any sort of explainable process. What you know =/= what your character knows, and crossing that line is when things can get problematic. The best example here that I can personally give is that I've noticed Shana call Ciel "senpai" when referring her to someone else. While it's true that this is the staple that she's known under in her canon, in Mayfield, an American town, she's an adult female teacher. Shiki calls her that, but they've been estranged for months now and have not talked since. Unless Shana has heard of this from Shiki himself somehow, which I apologize for because that means I didn't see the thread, she should have no reason to call Ciel "senpai" - "sensei" at best because she teaches. No one else other than Shiki has a reason to refer to Ciel as an upperclassman, and they would only find out if Shiki told them personally. To avoid that, basically ask yourself this questions before you want to make use of a certain piece of information ICly: how has my character come to know this? If you can't answer that, then don't make any IC mentions to it. I'm guilty of abusing OOC information too, but that's when I make OOC jokes inside brackets, so the IC and OOC lines are still made pretty distinct.

Second, there's the problem of content. You seem to reply to a lot of posts with Garviel either standing there or doing practice of some sort, not saying anything. Granted I've never really had that problem with you because of the nature of our CR, but I've seen it here and there while browsing around. It gives other people very little to work with, and while it's understandable, if not admirable, that you're willing to branch out so much and tag everyone, the same dry line won't always be interesting to throw around. Again, ask yourself questions, or try to put yourself in the mun that you're tagging's shoes. "If I tag this post like this, would it give the other party a reason to care and respond?" Is there a good relevant HOOK that can start up some sort of CR? I know in RP different characters have different personalities, but if you see a giant 8 foot tall man swinging a sword on the other side of the street and nothing else, it's like "why should I care to approach him instead of just back away and go home?" It's fine to want to breach out, again, and fine to want CR with certain characters, but at least try to look for an IC reason to start a thread and have a topic that can actually be carried on easily by both parties.

2/3

[daruki]

Third, I think you've fallen in the trap of "too much telling not enough showing". As in describing how your characters are x, y, and z in your narrative, instead of having them say and do things that illustrate these points. As in instead of shoving it in other people's faces, let them draw their own conclusion. The difference can be hard to make, but it boils down to this: roleplaying is collective story-writing. People you're threading with can read, process information, and make up their own opinion. They don't need to be told how skilled and handsome your character is. Garviel constantly has his helmet on more often than not either way, doesn't he? So his physical appearances don't really matter. In fact I'm not even sure if he has his helmet on often or not; I just remember you describing how good he looks several times. ...Now please keep in mind that this is my personal opinion - others may or may not be inclined to agree, but I'm voicing it because I think it's something of an issue. You always focus on the qualities too on how good they are, and never touch upon faults - barring his guilt complex I suppose. Doing that can honestly make your character come off a bit like a Gary Stu: the guy who can do anything and gets along with everyone. He's so amazing that everyone should care about him. I can understand that he was a big ham in canon and did impressive stuff, but again, RP is something we do as a collectivity. But the amount of focus and attention you seem to expressly go out of your way to try to garner around him can be off-putting to other people. It's comparable to try hogging all of the center stage spotlight all the time during a group production, where everyone should be able to have a turn there. In the same vein as "show not tell", some of your descriptions seem actually directly contradictory to what your character is doing: you always mention how phlegmatic Garviel is, but every time we thread there's always a great deal of expression and emotion he conveys: he seems easily hurt and bothered. That's not being phlegmatic, which should be stoic and unemotional. I personally also think you put too big of an emphasis on his past and home world. He feels guilty for the downfall of the empire, I got that. But every time he starts talking about his past or get angsty about it... Like, what should my character do? What CAN my character do? He's a grown adult who shouldn't need to be cajoled for hurtful events that happened in the past. This I admit can be more of an OOC issue for me, especially given that I don't know the canon, but 30k~40k years into the future is very hard to picture for me, so I have a hard time coming up with a response. It's hard for my character to relate, because they live close to modern day Earth. I often have to mull over when Garviel hits another down and starts talking about his home world; in the end we quietly move on, and that boomerangs back to the point of how much focus you put on your character. They're not in their home world anymore, and he ICly said that the town is a new opportunity. I apologize again if it's IC to reminisce, that he hasn't gotten over this issue (betrayal, failure, etc), but yes... It's rather blatant that he's very much hung over it even from an IC viewpoint, BUT that sort of conflict is a personal one that no character can really try to help him fix other than tell him to move on.

3/3

[daruki]

So for a suggestion to fix it... Tone it bit, if it's possible? Try having your character react to what the other character is saying/showing too, instead of always providing descriptions of traits that focus on your character, but may not really fit with the current situation. I do recall a few times making Ciel react by changing her demeanor (trying to act coy to DISTRACT him from the topic at hand), and it feels like a hit-or-miss thing with you: you either do respond, or completely gloss over while giving me more description telling me how Garviel looks (he looks good, I get it, but my character doesn't... really care about that. ;; We've interacted often too, so this should be something that she has had more than enough occasion to witness it for herself. If she didn't react to it the first time, she won't no matter how often you bring it up again. Reminders are superfluous, and can even look a bit tacky, if anything). This is more minor, but it does get a bit frustrating sometimes. So... yes. Step back a bit and react, in such situations? I hope this is clear.

Aahh... ;; Sorry this got so long, but again, I'm dropping this off in the hopes that it'll help you. I hate to say this, but there is such a thing as "unspoken etiquette of LJ roleplaying", and it can ruffle some people's feathers if they're disregarded, purposefully or out of genuine ignorance. Enthusiasm and energy is good, but spread yourself around too much and that might irritate some people without your knowing. They may not always be willing to approach you about it too, so that can only pile up to more problems that you'd be unaware of. You're a really nice person OOCly, and we do get interesting threads ICly, so I genuinely hope that this'll be useful. Again, feel free to talk to me elsewhere if you want clarifications on anything! PM, AIM, or continue it here - my time is just limited because of work, so I don't always have the chance to make quick replies on the spot during the weekdays. But I'm still relatively easy to get a hold of, so any way is fine! Hit me up whenever, :|b

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[daruki]

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