WHOLE LOTTA LOVE - CHAPTER 9 PART 2 (REITA/HIROTO, URUHA/? one sided)
Title: Whole Lotta Love
Chapters: 9.2 /??
Author: luna_no_koibito
Genre: Romance, Life
Warnings: men/men relationship, cursing, sex, violence.
FOR THIS STORY the band NIGHTMARE will be a PS Company band
Rating: from PG -15 to PG -17 (Depending on chapter)
Pairing: Shou,Gackt (main) Ruki/Hyde, Kai/Ruka, Hiroto/Reita, Miyavi/Hizaki
(more pairs will appear as the story proceeds)
Bands: Gazette, Alice Nince, Nightmare, Versailles, Kra (for now ...)
Summary:
Year: 2004
Scene: ( Read more... )
Extra: ( FIRST FIC. ENGLISH not the BEST but ... )
MAIN
Chapter 9 part 1
All his life he had never complained, not once. He knew life wasn't going to smile at him, and kindly hold his hand, while walking him through its difficulties, no, not him. All his life he had greeted his teeth, and bore it all. The poverty, the injustice, the loss, everything the life seemed to have decided he deserved based on the solidly random theories of faith; some will have it easier, some will not. Then, one spring day, life seemed to have got tired of unnecessarily toying with his tried existence, and finally rewarded him with friendship, and love, but of course, he should have known better, because life had never given him anything for free, for it took that one night during high school to ruin everything he thought he had.
During that time, he hadn't even bothered to try an prevent his newly acquired happiness from disappearing on him, for it thought his attempt futile; if life didn't want him to have it, he just wouldn't have. However, for some strange turn of events, he was able to hide the events of that night, to that one friend, who above the others, seemed to have genuinely cared for him; Shou. Perhaps he wouldn't have abandoned him like the others, if he had told him the truth, perhaps he would have believed him, but he had began to fear loneliness, so he lied. He had never told Shou his deepest secret, because he could bear to loose a lover, but not to loose his only friend.
Ever since, he had been by the elder's side supporting him, and protecting him, for he considered him his only true gift from life that hadn't been snatched away from him, and he had been grateful.
Grateful it had lasted so long, because now life seemed to have remembered how things used to be, thus, Hiroto wasn't surprised at the fact that everything was once again involuntary spin out of his control. He bitterly laughed at himself, reprimanding his naive soul for being as stupid, to believe that his useless prayers, could have ever touched, that god, whom had always seemed to enjoy torturing the now resigned guitarist, and this time lies weren't help him do anything, but make things worse, as everyone knew them to be apt to do.
However, it wasn't quite over yet, of course, how could he forget. It was all too painfully familiar, and he had been waiting for this moment as well, the moment he would have allowed himself to carelessly fall in love again, and wait until his love was mercifully snatched from him again, no matter how hard he tried not to loose himself in that pure vortex of lust that was rapidly enclosing him and Reita, as the once cold black leather couch, was rapidly being heated by their mingled bodies.
Stop, he mentally ordered his arms, which were wrapping around the bassist's neck to bringing him closer to his body, which was desperately craving for more contact, as the elder slowly and firmly wrapped his arms around the guitarist waist, deepening their starved kiss, and in no time he had taking control of the sloppy and lewd movements of their fervently wrestling tongues. Stop as the bassist sensually bit on his lower lip, making him release an overly pleased moan, while he sneaked his warm hand under his shirt slowly and sensually exploring the yet foreign territory of his bare chest. Please stop continued the guitarist, as the blonde eagerly dove his tongue through his slightly open lips, ready to punish once more his promptly awaiting muscle, as the bassist finger's gently played around his right nipple, making the guitarist groan once more in utter pleasure. Stop … stop ..
-Oi!- suddenly yelled Ruki startling the couple, who parted from each other, and questioningly stared at the standing vocalist.
-Ruki! - yelled the bassist as well, turning to face the swiftly departing figure of their vocalist. The guitarist wasn't sure of what had just happened, but felt a bit grateful for the interruption, perfectly knowing that he wouldn't have been able, or willing, to stop any further developments, but he decided not to rely on this thin chink of hope; it was soon going to end anyways.
-I'll be right back - explained the bassist, while he jumped out the couch, as the guitarist simply nodded.
Hiroto leaned further into the couch, deeply sighing, as he wondered how he was going to survive the rest of the evening. He then got up, and walked to the bathroom, where he let the cold water run, bending down to bring the refreshing liquid to his heated face. When he straightened up, he almost got a heart attack, as he saw Uruha's reflection on the mirror in front of him. The honey blonde was leaning on the space in between two toilet stands, intently gazing at him.
-You scared me ... - uttered the guitarist with a smile, as he reached a black box on his right, wanting to dry his hands, and face, but the other didn't say anything as he went on gazing at him.
-Is something wrong with me? - he then asked curiously looking at the guitarist, who got off the stand, and quickly held himself on the sink in front of him.
-I was actually wondering the same thing ... - replied the elder, as he turn to look at the younger. The instability of the elder guitarist, clearly indicated that he was drunk, but by the look in his eyes, the younger had the feeling that the elder's thinking ability hadn't yet been affected.
-What- tried to ask the younger, but was abruptly interrupted by the elder, who allowed the cold water to loudly rush once more, as he absently passed his fingers through it.
-You guys haven't fucked, have you?- inquired the elder as he turned his blank, and almost seemingly disgusted gaze back to the speechless guitarist, who merely kept staring the elder, as the honey blonde's eyes viciously pierced through him. Uruha then, imitated the younger's action and ungracefully splashed water on his flushed face.
-So tell me … - he then continued with a challenging tone - … how long do you think you can keep him … - he then paused raising himself up, as he cleaned his wet hand on his pants, and slowly got closer to the younger, as he resumed by whispering in his ear.
-How long do you think you can keep him, without giving him what he wants the most? - Hiroto's eyes rapidly widened as he slowly turned around, and stared incredulously at the oddly amused expression on the elder's face, still not understanding why he was being told such things. Had he done anything to spite the elder?
Uruha left the bathroom, leaving the guitarist to drop on the marble wall almost on the verge of tears. Why, why did happiness seem not to like him, why did he always have to end up hurting so. He sniffed trying to keep his composure, and raced out of the bathroom, towards their seats. Ruki and Reita where back, and Uruha was already sitting as well. He averted his gaze from the honey blond, who he felt his stare still intently observing his every move, as he sat back next to Reita.
-Well then … - suddenly shouted the elder guitarist, over the loud crowed, as he pouted his lips - … would you dance with me Rei? - he then pleaded in feign supplication
-Sure why not - shouted back the bassist, as he turned around to peck the guitarist, and left him with a smile.
Hiroto swiftly turned around to watch the two, as they moved by the crowed, but on Uruha's request didn't go further inside, allowing the younger guitarist to observe their dancing figures. Reita was backing, the guitarist, while Uruha was facing him, still maintaining his gaze on a now irritated Hiroto. Uruha then seemed to have slipped, but the bassist promptly caught the body of his friend, who was wrapping his arms around the elder's neck, while positioning his head on one of the elder's shoulders as to have a better view of the infuriated younger guitarist.
Uruha smirked, and began to grind on the bassist, who to Hiroto's surprise and fear, didn't seem to protest, as the honey blonde began to whisper something in his ear, while he kept his smirk and stare fixed on the younger, who quickly turned around, not able to stand the torturing sight any longer. He was furious and scared at the same time; did Reita really wanted to have sex that bad? Was he just that to the bassist as well? Was he always going to be just that to everybody? He couldn't take it anymore, and for once he decided he was going to give life a hand in his destruction path, as he grabbed Reita's untouched drink and chugged it down, like if it were water, and placing the cup back on the table, he got up walking in the direction on the couple, it was finally time to end it; saraba, Reita.
888---***---888
When he finally spotted their vocalist, never he would have expected to be greeted with the pale and blank expression that was absently facing forward, given the vigor with which he had sprouted out of his seat just some minutes ago. It appeared as if a ghost had just reveled himself to the younger, who slowly proceeded in his mechanical walk, completely ignoring the presence of the bassist, who was right in front of him
-Ruki! What happened? - shouted the bassist as he reached the younger one, whom simply whispered something he couldn't understand, as he resumed his slow walk past the confused bassist
-What?- tried to inquire the bassist as he grabbed the vocalist arm - Ruki, what happened?- the elder inquired once more, but the vocalist simply placed his hand on the bassist, and with a faint smile freed himself from the elder.
Reita merely loosened his grip, and silently followed the lifeless looking Ruki to their seats. What in the world could have caused such a panicked reaction in their ever strong and overconfident vocalist? He had never seen the vocalist in such a state, and plainly didn't know how to deal with the situation, fearing that the being in front of him, could suddenly shatter at any wrong movement. Then, as if suddenly awakened by his trance, the younger faced the bassist, and smirked, crossing his arms on his chest, turning his gaze back to the couple, who was still dancing.
To the bassist's stupor, it seemed like whatever had bothered the vocalist until some seconds ago, had completely left the younger one's mind, in fact, the elder was beginning to wonder whether the lights of the club hadn't been making him imagining tever have seen such a face. As he kept his scrutiny on the younger, Uruha suddenly dropped on the couch next to Ruki, sighing and puffing.
-Ne~ Ruki, dance with me, please~ - shouted the guitarist, slowly shaking the vocalist by the arm, but the younger, simply held the elder's hand and placed it down on the lap of its owner, as the elder pouted in indignation. Then Hiroto made his appearance as well, and as he sat himself next to awaiting bassist, the honey blonde shouted once more
-Well then will you dance with me Rei? - the bassist, glanced at the vocalist once more, and thinking it a wise idea to get the drunken guitarist far away as possible from the vocalist, he promptly replied
-Sure why not - he then turned towards his lover and gave him a reassuring peck on the lips, and with a smile he followed the guitarist on the dance floor. Uruha picked a spot and dragged the guitarist in front of him.
Their bodies began to move to the rhythm of the song that was being played, but the bassist was too busy thinking about their vocalist, to notice anything of what Uruha was doing, who suddenly slept forward, winning the elder's attention, who readily caught his friend. The guitarist released an inebriated laughter, as he wrapped his arms around the bassist, and began grinding his body against the bassist's.
-Uruha, what are you doing - questioningly asked the bassist, but the guitarist didn't reply, as he continued his movements on the other's body.
-Uruha? … - kindly asked the bassist once more, not wanting to upset the obviously drunken friend, who suddenly got closer to his ear and whispered
-Ne Rei? - he pause for a second and then resumed in a sensual tone -would fuck me tonight? - he then smirked
-You are drunk Uru … - slowly replied the bassist as he tried to gently separate from the body of the friend, who was tightly clinging to his.
-Yes maybe, but I mean it though- replied the with another laughter
-You know I am not the one you wan to be with, Uru - kindly replied the elder, who had failed in the attempt of freeing himself form the other
-Even if, he doesn't even acknowledge my existence- replied the honey blonde - … and you seem to haven't had some in a while - concluded the younger, as he turned to look at his friend, softly caressing the elder's cheek with the back of his hand.
Reita sadly sighed at the pathetic form of his visibly drunken and heartbroken friend, and as he lifted his hand to remove the one of the guitarist's, which was now cupped under his jaw, it was suddenly grabbed by somebody else. The startled bassist turned in the direction of the grabbed hand, and confusedly looked at the chilling emotionless expression of his lover's face.
-Let's go - dryly spat the younger guitarist as he pulled on the bassist, whom even though still a bit startled, was able to ground himself, and to pull the younger towards himself instead.
-Why? What- tried to ask the elder blonde with a slightly worried expression, but he was interrupted by the younger, who almost angrily hissed
-Let's go home, now - he then roughly removed the hand of the elder guitarist that was still on the bassist waist, and dragged the elder away, leaving the honey blonde standing alone on the dance-floor.
Reita silently followed his lover out the club, his mind completely blank still in utmost shock from the unexpected occurrence. He had no idea what could have upset the younger in such way, and it was the first time he had ever witnessed such a behavior in the guitarist. When they reach the vehicle, the younger walked straight to the passenger side, and as the bassist reached for his keys he suddenly stopped and looked up at the still apathetic expression on his lover's features
-Hiro ... what happ- softly tried to ask again, but he was once more interrupted
-Can we hurry up - irritatedly spat the younger, as the the elder pressed the unlock button on the pair of keys, allowing the younger to quickly place himself in the car.
During the entire drive the blond kept on nervously glancing at the guitarist, who maintained his firm gaze on the road ahead of him, not once uttering a single word. As he parked the car, the younger immediately dashed out of it, towards the complex entrance, not waiting for the elder, who swiftly locked his car, and joined his lover as fast. The silence treatment was slowly taking a toll on the now distressed bassist, who hardly managed to fully opened the door to his apartment, with the younger walking right pass him, quickly removing his shoes at the entrance, while the elder locked the door behind them.
As Reita managed to quickly yank his shoes away, he caught up with the younger, who was walking straight towards his bedroom, which deepened the utterly bewildered and troubled expression on the elder's face. Hiroto pushed the slightly closed bedroom door open, and stood still by the side of the bed, and when the blonde finally entered, he cautiously walked towards the stranger standing in front of him, who suddenly looked at him.
-The bed - dryly ordered the younger, at which Reita's eyes slowly widened in stupor, not understanding the reason of anything that was currently about to unfold.
-Uh? - he then asked, but the younger didn't repeat himself, and quickly grabbed the elder, sitting him on the bed, as he quickly sat on his laps, facing the speechless bassist.
-Hiro ... please talk to me … I don't- pleaded the elder, but was silenced by the index finger of the younger, who kindly placed it on the elder's lips, with the same firm expression, and removing it, he slowly leaned on the bassist and gently placed his lips on the elder's, as the tip of his tongue surfaced the sealed lips requesting an entrance that he wasn't granted.
Reita quickly grabbed the younger by both arms, pulling them both apart, and sorrowfully staring at the cold expression on the younger.
-Have I don't something wrong? Please talk to- he then inquired trying to get the other to at least look at him, who simply smirked and granted his wish
-Isn't this what you wanted? - angrily questioned the younger - I am giving myself to you, just do whatever you want with me, then just let me be! - he then concluded, as he reached for the hem of his shirt, trying to pull it off, but was swiftly stopped by the bassist, who yanked his hands away, holding both his wrists.
-I would be lying if I said I didn't want this but - began the elder looking downwards, and swiftly raising his gaze upwards, as he cupped the guitarist face with both his trembling hands, resuming his plea - I don't want it if you are not ready to give it to me - stated the elder, hoping that the younger would see past his anger, and spot the elder's unfeigned love for him.
-What difference does it makes, uh? - smirked the younger as he freed himself from the elder's hands -what difference does it makes if I want or not, in the end your all the same, its all the same. So just go ahead and have your way with me, I don't care! - angrily shouted the guitarist. Reita had no idea who where the they the younger one was referring to, but they obviously hadn't do him any good, and to suddenly be compared to the likes of them, hurt the bassist beyond believe.
The elder stared speechless, a lonely tear left his lucid orbs, quickly dropping on the guitarist's lap, as he dropped his head downwards, gently grabbing the younger hands.
-Oh God Hiro… - he then whispered - please don't hurt me like this- he begged, as the guitarist suddenly yanked his wrists out of the elder's grip, and swiftly got off his laps.
-Hurt? - he then retorted at the bassist, who suddenly looked up at him - Do you really know what being hurt is? - hissed the guitarist, glaring at the bassist with his now teary eyes - No, no you don't. You have know idea what it feels like to get to love somebody more than your own self, and to hear that person swearing that they do the same every single day - angrily sobbed the guitarist - to have that person convince you that you are meant to be, and thay he will protect you no matter what! - he then yelled, as his sobs swiftly increased -until the day you finally give him what he really wanted - he concluded as he dropped to his knees frantically sobbing, followed by the silently crying elder.
-I loved him so much … - cried out the guitarist, as he used his fit to hit the ground - he was my first love, my everything - he continued, as Reita slowly embraced the shattered figure, as carefully as he could.
-He asked me whether I was okay with it ... I said that I was ready ... and he promised! He promised me he would take care of me, so we went … to that motel … - paused the guitarist, as he let a heavy sob die on the bassist chest, as he continued with his seemingly erratic speech.
-And we … made love... so he called it. It was my first time, and I could care less about the pain, because he was so happy, and that was all that mattered to me - breathed out the younger with a bitter smile
-We fell asleep in each other arms, and when I woke up … when I woke up he wasn't there, he was gone … gone- lowly said the guitarist, as he tightly grabbed the elder's shirt.
-I was about to reach for my cell phone, on the table to try and call him, when I saw the envelope on the table, addressed to me. I opened it and I found ten thousand yen and a not that said “You .. -tried to say the guitarist but couldn't continue, as he resumed in his sobbing
-Shh … It's okay baby... it's enough... it's eno- reassured Reita, as he gently stroke the guitarist hair, but was interrupted by the guitarist, who finished the previous sentence
-Y-you were worth every yen, the best so far, oh so good”... oh so good! - sobbed out the guitarist, and at those words the bassist swiftly tightened up his grip around the younger, feeling more powerless and useless than ever. If he had known, if he had even only imagined that the younger had had such an experience. Guilt was hitting the blonde from all possible sides, as he kept his grip on the younger
-I am sorry … I am sorry baby - he then mumbled into the guitarist's hair.
-It hurt so much … It hurt so fucking bad! - resumed the younger, still with his chest buried - Every time I'd see him at school, I couldn't stand his sight and I would end up running to the restroom and constantly threw up, as him and his new victim, laughed at my fleeing figure -
-And ... I felt so dirty … oh so dirty, I thought I would tear my skin apart, with the brutality, I used to scratch during my showers everyday … and I still feel like that, even now. - concluded the guitarist, as he brought himself out of the elder's embrace
-I am dirty Reita ... I am dirt- he kept on whispering, staring at his knees, but was abruptly interrupted by the elder
-No you are not!- exclaimed the elder, as he grabbed the troubled face of the other in his hands again, bring him closer, as he gently united their foreheads - you are the purest, sweetest, kindest, most amazing person I have ever met and I lov … - was about to profess the bassist, but given the past of the guitarist, he decided against it believing that hearing those so often wrongly used three words, wouldn't have made the younger feel any better. Thus he stayed pensive for a second more, and suddenly stood up, as he extended his hand to the still crouched guitarist.
-Come - he simple request, nudging his hand at the guitarist, who looked up questioningly and slowly grabbed it, as the elder pulled him off the ground.
Reita tightly held the hand, as they exited the bedroom, and walked into the bathroom, he then closed the door behind them, and turned to face the younger. He stroke his hair a couple of times more, and brought him closer to his chest in another endearing embrace.
-I can't promise you I won't hurt you, but I'll try the best I can't not to do so ... - he began, as he resumed stroking the head buried in his chest - you may not be happy everyday either, but I will still give it all I have … is it ok? - hesitantly asked the elder waiting for a reply, and a few seconds later, the guitarist simply nodded in his chest.
-Can you really believe this, Hiro? - continued the elder in his questioning, at which the younger replied with another nod - Thank you - he then concluded, kissing the younger on the forehead.
-W-why are we h-here? - hesitantly asked the guitarist, still fighting his sobs.
-Do you trust me, Hiro?- asked the bassist, as he moved to the shower and let the water run, made sure that it was at the right temperature, and began discarding his clothes.
-Y-yeah … - stuttered the younger, who furiously turned red, trying not to stare at the elder's naked body.
-I swear. I am not going to take you or anything … - said the bassist, as he slowly began unclothing the guitarist. Once he had accomplished his task, he carried the younger bride-style, placed him inside the sower, and slid the glass door closed. He then grabbed a sponge, and pouring a little bit of soap, he turned towards the still confused younger and held his hand.
He carefully and gently cleaned the younger hand, once finished, he brought it directly under the running water, allowing the foam to be cleaned away, then as he looked into the guitarist eyes, he slowly raised the hand to his lips and gently pecked it, smiling at the younger, who fought really hard to keep his tears from falling at every kiss which was landed on almost every inch of his body, as the process kept on undisturbed, until he couldn't hold the tears anymore, and burst in a frantic cry, while trowing his arms around the bassist's neck, holding tightly, like his life depended on it.
-Hiro? - lightly laughed the bassist - you shouldn't be interrupting me in the middle of my purification ceremony -he concluded with another laughter, but the younger didn't seem to want to abandon the grip - okay … how about we finish this tomorrow? - he proposed as he tried to slide open the glass door, with the body still tightly clenching at him, and reached for a towel. The guitarist finally parted from the elder, who began to dry him, followed by him himself. As soon as he had had placed the towel away, the guitarist immediately clung himself back to the bassist, who chuckled as he carried the younger bride-style once more, and walked their naked bodies, to his bedroom.
Reita softly placed his bride on the bed, and was about to leave, when Hiroto quickly grabbed his wrist, averting his gaze, as he couldn't help but keep blushing
-I am not going anywhere Hiro. Just getting us some clean boxers - smiled the elder
-It's ok … - whispered the the younger - … I am ok - he went on, making space for the elder, as he slowly pulled him in, and once both under the cover, they tenderly embraced each other. The guitarist still a bit uncomfortable at the feeling of the new type of warmth, thus occasionally tensing a little bit, which the elder had noticed, and as he kept stroking the younger hair he asked
-Is it really okay like this? I really ca-
-Just be next to me when I wake up tomorrow morning - interrupted the younger with a smile, at which the bassist smile, while pecking him on the head.
-I will be here Hiro… as long as you'll want me to, I will always be here. Always. -
Chapter 10 part 1
A/N: Sorry for the length of this chapter, but Hiroto and Reita really deserved all this time, even though they didn't do what I know all you girls wanted them to do ... they will have their moment, promise, I mean, now there is nothing stopping them, right?
Chapters: 9.2 /??
Author: luna_no_koibito
Genre: Romance, Life
Warnings: men/men relationship, cursing, sex, violence.
FOR THIS STORY the band NIGHTMARE will be a PS Company band
Rating: from PG -15 to PG -17 (Depending on chapter)
Pairing: Shou,Gackt (main) Ruki/Hyde, Kai/Ruka, Hiroto/Reita, Miyavi/Hizaki
(more pairs will appear as the story proceeds)
Bands: Gazette, Alice Nince, Nightmare, Versailles, Kra (for now ...)
Summary:
Year: 2004
Scene: ( Read more... )
Extra: ( FIRST FIC. ENGLISH not the BEST but ... )
MAIN
Chapter 9 part 1
All his life he had never complained, not once. He knew life wasn't going to smile at him, and kindly hold his hand, while walking him through its difficulties, no, not him. All his life he had greeted his teeth, and bore it all. The poverty, the injustice, the loss, everything the life seemed to have decided he deserved based on the solidly random theories of faith; some will have it easier, some will not. Then, one spring day, life seemed to have got tired of unnecessarily toying with his tried existence, and finally rewarded him with friendship, and love, but of course, he should have known better, because life had never given him anything for free, for it took that one night during high school to ruin everything he thought he had.
During that time, he hadn't even bothered to try an prevent his newly acquired happiness from disappearing on him, for it thought his attempt futile; if life didn't want him to have it, he just wouldn't have. However, for some strange turn of events, he was able to hide the events of that night, to that one friend, who above the others, seemed to have genuinely cared for him; Shou. Perhaps he wouldn't have abandoned him like the others, if he had told him the truth, perhaps he would have believed him, but he had began to fear loneliness, so he lied. He had never told Shou his deepest secret, because he could bear to loose a lover, but not to loose his only friend.
Ever since, he had been by the elder's side supporting him, and protecting him, for he considered him his only true gift from life that hadn't been snatched away from him, and he had been grateful.
Grateful it had lasted so long, because now life seemed to have remembered how things used to be, thus, Hiroto wasn't surprised at the fact that everything was once again involuntary spin out of his control. He bitterly laughed at himself, reprimanding his naive soul for being as stupid, to believe that his useless prayers, could have ever touched, that god, whom had always seemed to enjoy torturing the now resigned guitarist, and this time lies weren't help him do anything, but make things worse, as everyone knew them to be apt to do.
However, it wasn't quite over yet, of course, how could he forget. It was all too painfully familiar, and he had been waiting for this moment as well, the moment he would have allowed himself to carelessly fall in love again, and wait until his love was mercifully snatched from him again, no matter how hard he tried not to loose himself in that pure vortex of lust that was rapidly enclosing him and Reita, as the once cold black leather couch, was rapidly being heated by their mingled bodies.
Stop, he mentally ordered his arms, which were wrapping around the bassist's neck to bringing him closer to his body, which was desperately craving for more contact, as the elder slowly and firmly wrapped his arms around the guitarist waist, deepening their starved kiss, and in no time he had taking control of the sloppy and lewd movements of their fervently wrestling tongues. Stop as the bassist sensually bit on his lower lip, making him release an overly pleased moan, while he sneaked his warm hand under his shirt slowly and sensually exploring the yet foreign territory of his bare chest. Please stop continued the guitarist, as the blonde eagerly dove his tongue through his slightly open lips, ready to punish once more his promptly awaiting muscle, as the bassist finger's gently played around his right nipple, making the guitarist groan once more in utter pleasure. Stop … stop ..
-Oi!- suddenly yelled Ruki startling the couple, who parted from each other, and questioningly stared at the standing vocalist.
-Ruki! - yelled the bassist as well, turning to face the swiftly departing figure of their vocalist. The guitarist wasn't sure of what had just happened, but felt a bit grateful for the interruption, perfectly knowing that he wouldn't have been able, or willing, to stop any further developments, but he decided not to rely on this thin chink of hope; it was soon going to end anyways.
-I'll be right back - explained the bassist, while he jumped out the couch, as the guitarist simply nodded.
Hiroto leaned further into the couch, deeply sighing, as he wondered how he was going to survive the rest of the evening. He then got up, and walked to the bathroom, where he let the cold water run, bending down to bring the refreshing liquid to his heated face. When he straightened up, he almost got a heart attack, as he saw Uruha's reflection on the mirror in front of him. The honey blonde was leaning on the space in between two toilet stands, intently gazing at him.
-You scared me ... - uttered the guitarist with a smile, as he reached a black box on his right, wanting to dry his hands, and face, but the other didn't say anything as he went on gazing at him.
-Is something wrong with me? - he then asked curiously looking at the guitarist, who got off the stand, and quickly held himself on the sink in front of him.
-I was actually wondering the same thing ... - replied the elder, as he turn to look at the younger. The instability of the elder guitarist, clearly indicated that he was drunk, but by the look in his eyes, the younger had the feeling that the elder's thinking ability hadn't yet been affected.
-What- tried to ask the younger, but was abruptly interrupted by the elder, who allowed the cold water to loudly rush once more, as he absently passed his fingers through it.
-You guys haven't fucked, have you?- inquired the elder as he turned his blank, and almost seemingly disgusted gaze back to the speechless guitarist, who merely kept staring the elder, as the honey blonde's eyes viciously pierced through him. Uruha then, imitated the younger's action and ungracefully splashed water on his flushed face.
-So tell me … - he then continued with a challenging tone - … how long do you think you can keep him … - he then paused raising himself up, as he cleaned his wet hand on his pants, and slowly got closer to the younger, as he resumed by whispering in his ear.
-How long do you think you can keep him, without giving him what he wants the most? - Hiroto's eyes rapidly widened as he slowly turned around, and stared incredulously at the oddly amused expression on the elder's face, still not understanding why he was being told such things. Had he done anything to spite the elder?
Uruha left the bathroom, leaving the guitarist to drop on the marble wall almost on the verge of tears. Why, why did happiness seem not to like him, why did he always have to end up hurting so. He sniffed trying to keep his composure, and raced out of the bathroom, towards their seats. Ruki and Reita where back, and Uruha was already sitting as well. He averted his gaze from the honey blond, who he felt his stare still intently observing his every move, as he sat back next to Reita.
-Well then … - suddenly shouted the elder guitarist, over the loud crowed, as he pouted his lips - … would you dance with me Rei? - he then pleaded in feign supplication
-Sure why not - shouted back the bassist, as he turned around to peck the guitarist, and left him with a smile.
Hiroto swiftly turned around to watch the two, as they moved by the crowed, but on Uruha's request didn't go further inside, allowing the younger guitarist to observe their dancing figures. Reita was backing, the guitarist, while Uruha was facing him, still maintaining his gaze on a now irritated Hiroto. Uruha then seemed to have slipped, but the bassist promptly caught the body of his friend, who was wrapping his arms around the elder's neck, while positioning his head on one of the elder's shoulders as to have a better view of the infuriated younger guitarist.
Uruha smirked, and began to grind on the bassist, who to Hiroto's surprise and fear, didn't seem to protest, as the honey blonde began to whisper something in his ear, while he kept his smirk and stare fixed on the younger, who quickly turned around, not able to stand the torturing sight any longer. He was furious and scared at the same time; did Reita really wanted to have sex that bad? Was he just that to the bassist as well? Was he always going to be just that to everybody? He couldn't take it anymore, and for once he decided he was going to give life a hand in his destruction path, as he grabbed Reita's untouched drink and chugged it down, like if it were water, and placing the cup back on the table, he got up walking in the direction on the couple, it was finally time to end it; saraba, Reita.
888---***---888
When he finally spotted their vocalist, never he would have expected to be greeted with the pale and blank expression that was absently facing forward, given the vigor with which he had sprouted out of his seat just some minutes ago. It appeared as if a ghost had just reveled himself to the younger, who slowly proceeded in his mechanical walk, completely ignoring the presence of the bassist, who was right in front of him
-Ruki! What happened? - shouted the bassist as he reached the younger one, whom simply whispered something he couldn't understand, as he resumed his slow walk past the confused bassist
-What?- tried to inquire the bassist as he grabbed the vocalist arm - Ruki, what happened?- the elder inquired once more, but the vocalist simply placed his hand on the bassist, and with a faint smile freed himself from the elder.
Reita merely loosened his grip, and silently followed the lifeless looking Ruki to their seats. What in the world could have caused such a panicked reaction in their ever strong and overconfident vocalist? He had never seen the vocalist in such a state, and plainly didn't know how to deal with the situation, fearing that the being in front of him, could suddenly shatter at any wrong movement. Then, as if suddenly awakened by his trance, the younger faced the bassist, and smirked, crossing his arms on his chest, turning his gaze back to the couple, who was still dancing.
To the bassist's stupor, it seemed like whatever had bothered the vocalist until some seconds ago, had completely left the younger one's mind, in fact, the elder was beginning to wonder whether the lights of the club hadn't been making him imagining tever have seen such a face. As he kept his scrutiny on the younger, Uruha suddenly dropped on the couch next to Ruki, sighing and puffing.
-Ne~ Ruki, dance with me, please~ - shouted the guitarist, slowly shaking the vocalist by the arm, but the younger, simply held the elder's hand and placed it down on the lap of its owner, as the elder pouted in indignation. Then Hiroto made his appearance as well, and as he sat himself next to awaiting bassist, the honey blonde shouted once more
-Well then will you dance with me Rei? - the bassist, glanced at the vocalist once more, and thinking it a wise idea to get the drunken guitarist far away as possible from the vocalist, he promptly replied
-Sure why not - he then turned towards his lover and gave him a reassuring peck on the lips, and with a smile he followed the guitarist on the dance floor. Uruha picked a spot and dragged the guitarist in front of him.
Their bodies began to move to the rhythm of the song that was being played, but the bassist was too busy thinking about their vocalist, to notice anything of what Uruha was doing, who suddenly slept forward, winning the elder's attention, who readily caught his friend. The guitarist released an inebriated laughter, as he wrapped his arms around the bassist, and began grinding his body against the bassist's.
-Uruha, what are you doing - questioningly asked the bassist, but the guitarist didn't reply, as he continued his movements on the other's body.
-Uruha? … - kindly asked the bassist once more, not wanting to upset the obviously drunken friend, who suddenly got closer to his ear and whispered
-Ne Rei? - he pause for a second and then resumed in a sensual tone -would fuck me tonight? - he then smirked
-You are drunk Uru … - slowly replied the bassist as he tried to gently separate from the body of the friend, who was tightly clinging to his.
-Yes maybe, but I mean it though- replied the with another laughter
-You know I am not the one you wan to be with, Uru - kindly replied the elder, who had failed in the attempt of freeing himself form the other
-Even if, he doesn't even acknowledge my existence- replied the honey blonde - … and you seem to haven't had some in a while - concluded the younger, as he turned to look at his friend, softly caressing the elder's cheek with the back of his hand.
Reita sadly sighed at the pathetic form of his visibly drunken and heartbroken friend, and as he lifted his hand to remove the one of the guitarist's, which was now cupped under his jaw, it was suddenly grabbed by somebody else. The startled bassist turned in the direction of the grabbed hand, and confusedly looked at the chilling emotionless expression of his lover's face.
-Let's go - dryly spat the younger guitarist as he pulled on the bassist, whom even though still a bit startled, was able to ground himself, and to pull the younger towards himself instead.
-Why? What- tried to ask the elder blonde with a slightly worried expression, but he was interrupted by the younger, who almost angrily hissed
-Let's go home, now - he then roughly removed the hand of the elder guitarist that was still on the bassist waist, and dragged the elder away, leaving the honey blonde standing alone on the dance-floor.
Reita silently followed his lover out the club, his mind completely blank still in utmost shock from the unexpected occurrence. He had no idea what could have upset the younger in such way, and it was the first time he had ever witnessed such a behavior in the guitarist. When they reach the vehicle, the younger walked straight to the passenger side, and as the bassist reached for his keys he suddenly stopped and looked up at the still apathetic expression on his lover's features
-Hiro ... what happ- softly tried to ask again, but he was once more interrupted
-Can we hurry up - irritatedly spat the younger, as the the elder pressed the unlock button on the pair of keys, allowing the younger to quickly place himself in the car.
During the entire drive the blond kept on nervously glancing at the guitarist, who maintained his firm gaze on the road ahead of him, not once uttering a single word. As he parked the car, the younger immediately dashed out of it, towards the complex entrance, not waiting for the elder, who swiftly locked his car, and joined his lover as fast. The silence treatment was slowly taking a toll on the now distressed bassist, who hardly managed to fully opened the door to his apartment, with the younger walking right pass him, quickly removing his shoes at the entrance, while the elder locked the door behind them.
As Reita managed to quickly yank his shoes away, he caught up with the younger, who was walking straight towards his bedroom, which deepened the utterly bewildered and troubled expression on the elder's face. Hiroto pushed the slightly closed bedroom door open, and stood still by the side of the bed, and when the blonde finally entered, he cautiously walked towards the stranger standing in front of him, who suddenly looked at him.
-The bed - dryly ordered the younger, at which Reita's eyes slowly widened in stupor, not understanding the reason of anything that was currently about to unfold.
-Uh? - he then asked, but the younger didn't repeat himself, and quickly grabbed the elder, sitting him on the bed, as he quickly sat on his laps, facing the speechless bassist.
-Hiro ... please talk to me … I don't- pleaded the elder, but was silenced by the index finger of the younger, who kindly placed it on the elder's lips, with the same firm expression, and removing it, he slowly leaned on the bassist and gently placed his lips on the elder's, as the tip of his tongue surfaced the sealed lips requesting an entrance that he wasn't granted.
Reita quickly grabbed the younger by both arms, pulling them both apart, and sorrowfully staring at the cold expression on the younger.
-Have I don't something wrong? Please talk to- he then inquired trying to get the other to at least look at him, who simply smirked and granted his wish
-Isn't this what you wanted? - angrily questioned the younger - I am giving myself to you, just do whatever you want with me, then just let me be! - he then concluded, as he reached for the hem of his shirt, trying to pull it off, but was swiftly stopped by the bassist, who yanked his hands away, holding both his wrists.
-I would be lying if I said I didn't want this but - began the elder looking downwards, and swiftly raising his gaze upwards, as he cupped the guitarist face with both his trembling hands, resuming his plea - I don't want it if you are not ready to give it to me - stated the elder, hoping that the younger would see past his anger, and spot the elder's unfeigned love for him.
-What difference does it makes, uh? - smirked the younger as he freed himself from the elder's hands -what difference does it makes if I want or not, in the end your all the same, its all the same. So just go ahead and have your way with me, I don't care! - angrily shouted the guitarist. Reita had no idea who where the they the younger one was referring to, but they obviously hadn't do him any good, and to suddenly be compared to the likes of them, hurt the bassist beyond believe.
The elder stared speechless, a lonely tear left his lucid orbs, quickly dropping on the guitarist's lap, as he dropped his head downwards, gently grabbing the younger hands.
-Oh God Hiro… - he then whispered - please don't hurt me like this- he begged, as the guitarist suddenly yanked his wrists out of the elder's grip, and swiftly got off his laps.
-Hurt? - he then retorted at the bassist, who suddenly looked up at him - Do you really know what being hurt is? - hissed the guitarist, glaring at the bassist with his now teary eyes - No, no you don't. You have know idea what it feels like to get to love somebody more than your own self, and to hear that person swearing that they do the same every single day - angrily sobbed the guitarist - to have that person convince you that you are meant to be, and thay he will protect you no matter what! - he then yelled, as his sobs swiftly increased -until the day you finally give him what he really wanted - he concluded as he dropped to his knees frantically sobbing, followed by the silently crying elder.
-I loved him so much … - cried out the guitarist, as he used his fit to hit the ground - he was my first love, my everything - he continued, as Reita slowly embraced the shattered figure, as carefully as he could.
-He asked me whether I was okay with it ... I said that I was ready ... and he promised! He promised me he would take care of me, so we went … to that motel … - paused the guitarist, as he let a heavy sob die on the bassist chest, as he continued with his seemingly erratic speech.
-And we … made love... so he called it. It was my first time, and I could care less about the pain, because he was so happy, and that was all that mattered to me - breathed out the younger with a bitter smile
-We fell asleep in each other arms, and when I woke up … when I woke up he wasn't there, he was gone … gone- lowly said the guitarist, as he tightly grabbed the elder's shirt.
-I was about to reach for my cell phone, on the table to try and call him, when I saw the envelope on the table, addressed to me. I opened it and I found ten thousand yen and a not that said “You .. -tried to say the guitarist but couldn't continue, as he resumed in his sobbing
-Shh … It's okay baby... it's enough... it's eno- reassured Reita, as he gently stroke the guitarist hair, but was interrupted by the guitarist, who finished the previous sentence
-Y-you were worth every yen, the best so far, oh so good”... oh so good! - sobbed out the guitarist, and at those words the bassist swiftly tightened up his grip around the younger, feeling more powerless and useless than ever. If he had known, if he had even only imagined that the younger had had such an experience. Guilt was hitting the blonde from all possible sides, as he kept his grip on the younger
-I am sorry … I am sorry baby - he then mumbled into the guitarist's hair.
-It hurt so much … It hurt so fucking bad! - resumed the younger, still with his chest buried - Every time I'd see him at school, I couldn't stand his sight and I would end up running to the restroom and constantly threw up, as him and his new victim, laughed at my fleeing figure -
-And ... I felt so dirty … oh so dirty, I thought I would tear my skin apart, with the brutality, I used to scratch during my showers everyday … and I still feel like that, even now. - concluded the guitarist, as he brought himself out of the elder's embrace
-I am dirty Reita ... I am dirt- he kept on whispering, staring at his knees, but was abruptly interrupted by the elder
-No you are not!- exclaimed the elder, as he grabbed the troubled face of the other in his hands again, bring him closer, as he gently united their foreheads - you are the purest, sweetest, kindest, most amazing person I have ever met and I lov … - was about to profess the bassist, but given the past of the guitarist, he decided against it believing that hearing those so often wrongly used three words, wouldn't have made the younger feel any better. Thus he stayed pensive for a second more, and suddenly stood up, as he extended his hand to the still crouched guitarist.
-Come - he simple request, nudging his hand at the guitarist, who looked up questioningly and slowly grabbed it, as the elder pulled him off the ground.
Reita tightly held the hand, as they exited the bedroom, and walked into the bathroom, he then closed the door behind them, and turned to face the younger. He stroke his hair a couple of times more, and brought him closer to his chest in another endearing embrace.
-I can't promise you I won't hurt you, but I'll try the best I can't not to do so ... - he began, as he resumed stroking the head buried in his chest - you may not be happy everyday either, but I will still give it all I have … is it ok? - hesitantly asked the elder waiting for a reply, and a few seconds later, the guitarist simply nodded in his chest.
-Can you really believe this, Hiro? - continued the elder in his questioning, at which the younger replied with another nod - Thank you - he then concluded, kissing the younger on the forehead.
-W-why are we h-here? - hesitantly asked the guitarist, still fighting his sobs.
-Do you trust me, Hiro?- asked the bassist, as he moved to the shower and let the water run, made sure that it was at the right temperature, and began discarding his clothes.
-Y-yeah … - stuttered the younger, who furiously turned red, trying not to stare at the elder's naked body.
-I swear. I am not going to take you or anything … - said the bassist, as he slowly began unclothing the guitarist. Once he had accomplished his task, he carried the younger bride-style, placed him inside the sower, and slid the glass door closed. He then grabbed a sponge, and pouring a little bit of soap, he turned towards the still confused younger and held his hand.
He carefully and gently cleaned the younger hand, once finished, he brought it directly under the running water, allowing the foam to be cleaned away, then as he looked into the guitarist eyes, he slowly raised the hand to his lips and gently pecked it, smiling at the younger, who fought really hard to keep his tears from falling at every kiss which was landed on almost every inch of his body, as the process kept on undisturbed, until he couldn't hold the tears anymore, and burst in a frantic cry, while trowing his arms around the bassist's neck, holding tightly, like his life depended on it.
-Hiro? - lightly laughed the bassist - you shouldn't be interrupting me in the middle of my purification ceremony -he concluded with another laughter, but the younger didn't seem to want to abandon the grip - okay … how about we finish this tomorrow? - he proposed as he tried to slide open the glass door, with the body still tightly clenching at him, and reached for a towel. The guitarist finally parted from the elder, who began to dry him, followed by him himself. As soon as he had had placed the towel away, the guitarist immediately clung himself back to the bassist, who chuckled as he carried the younger bride-style once more, and walked their naked bodies, to his bedroom.
Reita softly placed his bride on the bed, and was about to leave, when Hiroto quickly grabbed his wrist, averting his gaze, as he couldn't help but keep blushing
-I am not going anywhere Hiro. Just getting us some clean boxers - smiled the elder
-It's ok … - whispered the the younger - … I am ok - he went on, making space for the elder, as he slowly pulled him in, and once both under the cover, they tenderly embraced each other. The guitarist still a bit uncomfortable at the feeling of the new type of warmth, thus occasionally tensing a little bit, which the elder had noticed, and as he kept stroking the younger hair he asked
-Is it really okay like this? I really ca-
-Just be next to me when I wake up tomorrow morning - interrupted the younger with a smile, at which the bassist smile, while pecking him on the head.
-I will be here Hiro… as long as you'll want me to, I will always be here. Always. -
Chapter 10 part 1
A/N: Sorry for the length of this chapter, but Hiroto and Reita really deserved all this time, even though they didn't do what I know all you girls wanted them to do ... they will have their moment, promise, I mean, now there is nothing stopping them, right?