Asphyxiation

[lulu_42]

It's a post for the KakaSaku LJ New Years Challege.  I wasn't planning on doing it, but I was under the influence of cold medicine.  That's probably why I came up with something that wasn't a comedy piece.  'Tis Drama!

Weird.

Title: Asphyxiation
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,570
Summary: War is kinder to some than others.

Comments

[bluerising]

Sweet bejeezus. Would you be willing to share some of that cough medicine?

This was clever and completely fabulous. Especially the emphasis on the "clean ozone" around Kakashi and how his virtue increased in the time of war, while poor Sakura was a mess (in a lovable way). Then the ending... <3

[lulu_42]

Thank you my dear! <3

The cold medicine told me I should do something gritty, because I tend to shy away from it. (I still couldn't resist the sweet ending.) Everyone's entries have been so amazing that I had to add a lot more effort in order to keep up.

I was trying to imply that Kakashi had been fighting recently with the reference to ozone. I don't know if it worked or not. XD

Glad that you liked it!

[lulu_42]

Special icon for you! Now get working on WTA!!!!

LOL. I'm got to go through my fridge and make lots of food icons

[bluerising]

Ahahaha! ZOMG. NOW I HAVE ALL THE POWER I NEED TO WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER.

You know you're like my favorite person ever, right? I saved the icon, and totally am going to use it for a special occasion. Just you wait. XD XD XD

[lulu_42]

Crappy Sakura FTW!

[thesoundofsisu]

This was a pleasant surprise to come across! I think what stood out the most was that the (first) kiss was far from perfect (technique) but had excellent timing. It made me think of when you're starting a fire with a couple of rocks and you have that first misfire before you get the spark that actually ignites the flame (re: ending kiss). A great peek!

[lulu_42]

Thank you person I don't think I've met before! *shakes hands*
I'm glad you enjoyed it!

You use rocks to start a fire? I use matches.
*rimshot*
I really liked your analogy. :)

[thesoundofsisu]

LOL! Nice to meet you, too! *shakes hands* I think I've posted ONE story here ever and fic number 2 just got up... I tend to write other stuff because we have such awesome writers at KakaSaku that kind of intimidate me, so I leave it to you all, pretty much. :3

I use rocks because I tend to go backpacking and sometimes forget matches and/or Swedish fire steel... Heheheh, thanks about the analogy.

Happy New Year and well done!

[roxnroll]

Very very nice!!! Very heavy atmosphere, but I think it made it that much more sweet when Kakashi redeemed their very unromantic first kiss. Loved it!!

[lulu_42]

Thank you Rox! I was going to go depressing in the first draft, then turned into a coward.

[tiredbuthyper]

Cuuute. Loved the eye twitch and especially the horrible and embarrassing first kiss.

The ending confused me a bit, though. What trap had Iwa fallen into? I think I was probably too tired to read this... lol

There were quite a few typos but oh well. Live and let live.

[lulu_42]

I'm a great maker of typos. I think I spruced this up five times already. *hangs head in shame*

Iwa thing: “I hope Iwa goes back on their word. Otherwise all of the traps I set up on the field and the fresh wave of troops waiting them would have been for nothing.” -Kakashi

[tiredbuthyper]

... That makes so much more sense now! Proof that I should not be near-insensate and reading ANYTHING.