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Sep 16, 2013 16:27

Every day after Michael left for work, Eve went about the business of taking herself apart. She did it in the basement, so the mess would be easier to clean up. Sitting at her workbench, she had a system for where everything should go. There was a magnetized strip for all the little tiny screws, and labeled mason jars for transistors and servo ( Read more... )

exhibit b, fiction, prompt: destruction/rebuilding, ljidol

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Comments 12

slfcllednowhere September 17 2013, 01:17:23 UTC
Ooh, I like this. A very interesting idea. I can certainly see the appeal of being able to do this if it were possible, but this story raises some good points about it. Nice work.

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lrig_rorrim September 17 2013, 01:22:10 UTC
I'm so glad you liked it! I was thinking a lot about the process of editing (as I made pass after pass after pass over this story, in particular) and how aiming for perfection can really ruin a good thing, especially when you have a skewed perspective on perfection. Thank you for letting me know your thoughts!

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kathrynrose September 17 2013, 02:00:38 UTC
Still loving this. ::pompoms::

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lrig_rorrim September 17 2013, 16:48:16 UTC
Thank you! :D

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porn_this_way September 17 2013, 02:05:46 UTC
YAY, you put the link in! I'm really glad you did - it adds a whole 'nother level layer to the universe this is set in, sort of its dark underbelly.

You are on *fire* this season. Er. No pun intended :P

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lrig_rorrim September 17 2013, 16:50:31 UTC
Heh. I'm glad you liked the little bonus material - the underbelly of this particular world is pretty dark when you get right up close and peer at it.

I think I was more on fire last season, with the pyrokinetic Cinderella and all, but I'll take the compliment. And the pun. ;)

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alien_writings September 17 2013, 02:51:17 UTC
I would be so tempted to use this service if it existed. :/

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lrig_rorrim September 17 2013, 16:52:53 UTC
I totally understand that temptation. That's how I was able to write this at all. I promise, though, editing your shiny brain would cause way more problems than it solved. We're all fancy interconnected systems, and "fixing" one bit in such a heavy-handed manner would be practically guaranteed to break dozens of others. *hugs*

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halfshellvenus September 19 2013, 00:49:58 UTC
I really like this final version, and how clear it is now that Eve is doing all of this out of desperation and fear.

There is both sadness and irony in the fact that while she keeps trying to "improve" herself, it's the unimproved version that Michael knows and loves. In trying to hold his love, she's pushing him farther away.

There's a reason that trope works so well!

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lrig_rorrim September 19 2013, 21:27:21 UTC
Getting to a final version of this was a real challenge - I had four different readers saying different things appealed to them, and I should emphasize each of those things. *laughs* It was a little tricky. I'm pretty happy with this one (version 3.0, I think?).

I think what Eve (and so many folks in general) fails to comprehend is that there's a big difference between growing and changing with something, and doing it for someone.

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