Oh man, riveting. Sam's such a 13 year old, and just CAN'T keep his mouth shut, even when he KNOWS what's gonna happen. This just seemed so real...and heartbreaking. You really captured the family dynamic here. Oh Sam, Oh John, Oh Dean.
If Sam could keep his mouth shut, he'd go through a lot less pain, I think. But he seems to be ultimately honest, at least with those he loves, and somehow feels that to be honest and suffer the consequences is better than lying and getting away with it. Which is mature in a way, but hell, I just love watching him stick out his chin and fight back. : D
Damn, I felt so sorry for Sam in this one. John was brutal in his treatment and not even showing that he cared after what he had done to the kid! I was hoping to see some remorse but all he did was treat Sam like dirt.
I would love to see a sequel to this one where Dean actually gets Sammy thru the aftermath of the beating--cause that is what it was, and maybe just maybe he could make John feel some guilt at hurting Sam so bad! After all, if CPS saw Sam--John would lose the kid forever!
I feel sorry for Sam too. And for all of them, really. It's such a horrible life they lead. Interesting, but horrible. But I think John did show he cared, not in the ways Sam needed to hear, obviously, but in his own way. As for CPS, yeah, no kidding. They'd be gone in a heartbeat. Hence the isolated town of Mentone, where I spent a week one day.
A sequel huh. MMmmmm. My brain is chewing on something, hopefully it will regurgitate an idea!
Yeah, I can see your point about John--he i showing he cares by wanting Sam to train so he can keep him safe I reckon! But what an awful way for Sammy to see that he cares!
I sure hopw you brain entices you to write that sequel!
You are quite sweet to say so and it's very encouraging to know that you liked this story enough to want another like it.
John shows he cares by the training, but also by letting Sam have the kind of eggs he wants (although this comes at a price of being browbeaten about it), and he also touches Sam when Sam collapses in the Impala after the second beating. Obviously NOT enough, not something Sam even notices. Poor babies.
Re: all too painfullovesrain44March 20 2008, 02:11:00 UTC
No kidding! It's a cruicble, you're right, I never thought of that. And how could it possibly be that they are raised in the same house and in the same way, and come out so differently? Someone once told me it was because Dean blunted the force of Dad's behavior, so that Sam could grow up (almost) normally...Thank you for reading the story!
This was an effective story, if brutal in tone. I can easily give up my Tin Foil Hat of John love after this story. Yes, you effectively made me hate him now
( ... )
Your love for the characters shines....I don't know how much damage I could do to John for comeuppance, but part of me thinks that his guilt (and angst) over how he treats his boys, on account of this is what he thinks will save them...he's beating himself up enough for three men. Hence the whole egg thing. : D
It's just so painful to watch, very clearly depicted and I could feel all of Sam's frustration and fear and panic in making the wrong choices.
And oh, I don't think I could hate John more right now. He had next to no redeeming qualities here. The hair-touching, and the eggs? Stacked up next to the beatings and the blame and the relentlessness- toward a thirteen year old, nonetheless- nope, sorry, for me doesn't even make a blip on the screen, as I'm sure was your intent- just like it didn't for Sammy. If he had any remorse, he made damn sure Sam didn't see it.
An amazing, powerful story here, but I was begging for John to show some humanity toward his son, at some point. As I'm sure was Sam.
I broke you???? I hope you are much improved by this time! I'm so so glad you noticed the hair touching and the egg thing, the difference between that and everything else, just doesn't balance out. He loves his boys, but he can't really show it. Not the way Sam needs, anyway. He shows it just fine to Dean. (Or is it that Dean adapts to the way John shows love?) I'm sorry I made you beg and then didn't come through with what you wanted....John is stubborn that way, he's got his mind set on how his boys should be raised. (I'm glad you liked the story, thank you!) : D
Nooooo! Not improved! LOL- I'm still broken- I cannot get this story out of my head! That's how affecting it was. I even tried reading high doses of schmoop, but I keep coming back to this like a sore tooth! *g*
I'm fascinated by all the different reactions to the John in this story, and how everybody picks up on something different. I can see some of John's intention to care for his boys and yes, it comes through for Dean but not Sam, who really doesn't ever seem (through Sam's eyes?) to get John's approval. Like, ever.
Still, for me, the beating in the shed just really trumped everything. I can't help but see that as abusive and brutal and over the top, no matter what Sam had broken or how mouthy he got. And then him having to come home and clean up his own bloodied and bruised legs, and be sent to bed. Wow. Just wow.
And Sam's sense of imprisonment, which is so true, because no matter how bratty he may be being, he is still just a kid, and he doesn't have any choice
( ... )
What I did??? John's the one outta control here. : D Sorry the schmoop didn't help, but I'm pleased that the story had such a powerful effect on you. And yeah, through Sam's eyes, he gets no approval from John, none. Even though, maybe, John is giving it. He's not speaking in a language that Sammy can understand, Sammy who is young enough to NEED this approval. God, how did he ever make it to be such a cool grown man, if this was going on? That's what I wonder.
And it's interesting that you mention the care after the beating. I actually had several conversations with my beta sheaseth about what would really happen, given these characters in this situation. I also had many late night conversations with myself and ran through multiple iterations in my head. In the end, I decided on the simplest one, which, as I thought about it, made more and more sense. I'm glad to see that my choice was an effective one! Not that I really want to make you feel bad....even though, yea, I like it like that. : D
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I'm glad you liked it! Thank you, truly.
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I would love to see a sequel to this one where Dean actually gets Sammy thru the aftermath of the beating--cause that is what it was, and maybe just maybe he could make John feel some guilt at hurting Sam so bad! After all, if CPS saw Sam--John would lose the kid forever!
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A sequel huh. MMmmmm. My brain is chewing on something, hopefully it will regurgitate an idea!
Glad you liked the story!!
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I sure hopw you brain entices you to write that sequel!
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John shows he cares by the training, but also by letting Sam have the kind of eggs he wants (although this comes at a price of being browbeaten about it), and he also touches Sam when Sam collapses in the Impala after the second beating. Obviously NOT enough, not something Sam even notices. Poor babies.
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It's just so painful to watch, very clearly depicted and I could feel all of Sam's frustration and fear and panic in making the wrong choices.
And oh, I don't think I could hate John more right now. He had next to no redeeming qualities here. The hair-touching, and the eggs? Stacked up next to the beatings and the blame and the relentlessness- toward a thirteen year old, nonetheless- nope, sorry, for me doesn't even make a blip on the screen, as I'm sure was your intent- just like it didn't for Sammy. If he had any remorse, he made damn sure Sam didn't see it.
An amazing, powerful story here, but I was begging for John to show some humanity toward his son, at some point. As I'm sure was Sam.
Whew. I'm wrung out.
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: D
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I'm fascinated by all the different reactions to the John in this story, and how everybody picks up on something different. I can see some of John's intention to care for his boys and yes, it comes through for Dean but not Sam, who really doesn't ever seem (through Sam's eyes?) to get John's approval. Like, ever.
Still, for me, the beating in the shed just really trumped everything. I can't help but see that as abusive and brutal and over the top, no matter what Sam had broken or how mouthy he got. And then him having to come home and clean up his own bloodied and bruised legs, and be sent to bed. Wow. Just wow.
And Sam's sense of imprisonment, which is so true, because no matter how bratty he may be being, he is still just a kid, and he doesn't have any choice ( ... )
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Sorry the schmoop didn't help, but I'm pleased that the story had such a powerful effect on you. And yeah, through Sam's eyes, he gets no approval from John, none. Even though, maybe, John is giving it. He's not speaking in a language that Sammy can understand, Sammy who is young enough to NEED this approval. God, how did he ever make it to be such a cool grown man, if this was going on? That's what I wonder.
And it's interesting that you mention the care after the beating. I actually had several conversations with my beta sheaseth about what would really happen, given these characters in this situation. I also had many late night conversations with myself and ran through multiple iterations in my head. In the end, I decided on the simplest one, which, as I thought about it, made more and more sense. I'm glad to see that my choice was an effective one! Not that I really want to make you feel bad....even though, yea, I like it like that. : D
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