Love/Hate

[lovesnape]

Fandom and I seem to have conflicting feelings for each other. Obviously, I love it, otherwise I wouldn't be here (cause I'm on LJ so much right?). But I realized after spending last weekend and finals week reading fanfiction practically nonstop, that when I immerse myself in fandom, I enter a mindset that really cuts me off from any social, well,

Comments

[maraudersaffair]

I used to feel the same way, but then I realized that I had made some really great friends in fandom. It helps to feel less melancholy about being in fandom constantly if you have strong relationships with people on the Internet.

I think you should stop thinking about fandom as taking your life away, but having a second life. A secret life.

Hopefully something from that is helpful?

Oh, and sometimes you do need to to get away from real life. May that be for a day or a month.

[lovesnape]

Oh, no, I meant I felt melancholy about seeing RL people, not being in fandom.

And it's the integrating the two lives I am struggling with, not the separating :\

[so_severus]

I have problems juggling both too
and for the past two years I haven't really read much fanfiction because I realized I would spend way too much time on my computer and not out there :/

I wish I knew how to balance more but I have an addictive personality and once I start reading I can't stop

at least I kind a know what you're going through

let me know if someone has a good idea!

[lovesnape]

Read Ashley's, below. Her advice really helped me, but that's me. :)
Also, I'm going to start afresh and see where that gets me. Hopefully a lack of stress to catch up completely on all of my flist will make me wore willing to go on LJ more often. Hmm. :)

Good to know someone is in the same boat though :3

[randomneses]

I know a lot of people keep hush hush about their interests in aspects of fandom in RL but I don't. I mean, I don't go out of my way to mention it but if something comes up in conversation I have no problem mentioning something fandomy IRL. IDK, I think it's weird to keep something that I find a harmless, general interest a secret. Not treating it as a secret may make you feel a little less strange about it. It's a very fun hobby like watching tv, cooking, or going to concerts and you shouldn't feel embarrassed by it. But like any other hobby, you can't let it overtake everything else you enjoy. Everybody gets too invested in a hobby from time to time and we usually think it's a lot worse than it really is. As long as you don't let any hobby affect you academically or socially you'll be fine. If your friendships and all are still in tact then you have nothing to worry about

[lovesnape]

Sorry that I just got around to replying... But I will say I have really taken your advice to heart. I'm more open with people about hp in general now, and it hasn't really affected anything except make me less stressed about it :D Which is great! Thanks a million. I'm thinking I'm going to start fresh on LJ, too. Like stop worrying about catching up because I really never will and it's just making me not want to go on :| Which is dumb. So that's that. CLEAN SLATE WOO.

Thanks again though. Really :)

[randomneses]

No prob!

[lovesnape]

You make my life.

[anonymous]

That's an interesting conflict, one I go through myself sometimes. Being relatively new to fandom, I've just sort of gobbled it up and spent A LOT of time reading fanfic. I've thought of it as a phase that will go away when I get busier (I have a lot of time on my hands right now), but I've also noticed that when I'm with friends, I still feel like I want to either talk about fanfic or ignore my friends and read it.

I'd say try to put away time to delve into the world of fandom, like Saturday afternoon or something. That way, if it's designated time, you may not feel guilty about being away from your friends, and you can satisfy those lovely fanfic cravings. It's not unhealthy to want to spend some time just being by yourself with a bunch of words.

[anonymous]

Oh, one more thing. There are thousands of fans out there (18,957 on WIKKT alone!), so it's quite possible you'll find at least someone in RL who you can talk to about fandom. If you do, take advantage of it!

[lovesnape]

Thank you for the advice, mystery commenter ;) I do appreciate it, especially knowing that you seem to be in a similar situation. Maybe not quite so drastic... I actually did used to read fanfiction alllll the time when I had mono and had nothing else to do. The problem now is the fact that I still have the want to stay in fandom, but not the copious spare time any more :(