wow.  i'm definitely excited for this.

but the next challenge with authenticity?  being authentic with your counselor.  who only knows as much about you as you're willing to say.

every defense mechanism i have and every mask i've ever worn tried to crop up and, like the fight i face every day, i had to try to push those down and combat them.

so ( Read more... )

hating convention

sigh.

life is improving? ish.

i suppose i feel slightly more at peace.  and i haven't cried in, like, four days.  normally i'm not much of a crier, but last week...man.

i have a secret: i'm a mess. and god is still using me.  feel free to broadcast that to the world.

and holy fricking shit i don't want to do my shakespeare ( Read more... )

this week has been:

• a roller coaster of the largest proportions
• one in which i cried more than i have cried in months
• heavy-hearted; my chest physically ached with emotion pulsing through it
• a disappointment in the christian community
• an encouragement in the christian community
• one of the first times i felt truly restricted in my attempts at ( Read more... )

FUCK

SHIT

GODDAMN

MOTHERFUCKING

ASS

BITCH

FUCK

Sorry, just had to get that out.

//loosed up in the streets,
making love to a cement home
cracked and tarred
reflecting a wisp of smoke,
boxing in a weathered face//
//my counsel for you is simple and straight forward: just go ahead with what you've been given. you received christ jesus, the master; now live him. you're deeply rooted in him. you're well constructed upon him. you know ( Read more... )

i want so much more out of life, but i don't know where to get it.

//i'd be happy to die for a taste of what angel had. someone to live for. unafraid to say, 'i love you.'//

( Read more... )

wow...thank the lord for encouragement.  and just when i needed it too.  just this evening, i've had three people seriously encourage me, in person, in email, and on facebook.

::gratefulness::

frank sinatra does give you that strut.

//my heart should be well-schooled//

tonight now entails homework i don't feel like doing and watching ( Read more... )

brokeback mountain won four golden globes last night including best director (ang lee) and best motion picture (drama).  i was so excited.  seriously.  like stomping on the ground and shouting excited.  i hope this means they have a good shot at the oscars.

it's just such a groundbreaking movie with such an incredible message that i think people ( Read more... )

//i've had a knack from way back of breaking the rules once i learned the game//

once again the girls across the hall prove to be amazing.  hopefully they won't get tired of me, seeing as i may be going over there a lot.

something we were all talking about last night was a concept dr. saxby brought up in human sexuality:

'you can't help anyone ( Read more... )