i need a break from life.

i feel like i'm barely scraping by...

...if at all.

walk or crawl, this much is true

today's a discouraging day.



literally, all i want to do is cry.  sleep.  drink coffee or hot chocolate.  be wrapped up in a blanket.  yell to God.  watch movies.  sleep some more.  and probably cry a lot more.

when you can look at a boy, who had all of the promise he could muster, who was so stubbornly determined ( Read more... )

you are the branch within my reach


( Read more... )

the brightest firefly

[[['but since your life may indeed have fallen apart, the illusion won't hold up forever and if you are lucky and brave, you will be willing to bear disillusion.' (anne lamott)]]]

(i seriously freaking love anne lamott.  please go read her.  please do it.  i've never read anything so real and raw.)


( Read more... )

too much love for one, just enough for two

//faint hearts never won fair lady.// (robin hood...the disney version)

but really, it's so true.


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another list (i'm a big fan of them, let's be honest):

• i have no desire to strain conversation for the sake of pretense or obligation.
• i am utterly astounded at the immaturity of some.
• seriously, i know i have a few specks but let's take a look at that log, eh?
• my best friend shouldn't have to cry over this.  and they're concerned ( Read more... )

whimsical. this morning i feel beautiful and whimsical. i feel strong. i am stronger than you know and stronger than i expected to be. i am feminine, opinionated and passionate. i am compassionate and every moment i am more mature and more grown-up. i am making mistakes. i am making good decisions. (wiser than my years?) i continue to ( Read more... )

my sleeves collected tears of shame...then tears of peace.

i think i'm growing up.

so...this whole christian thing?  it requires sacrifice of myself and my desires and it's not about me.  profound, right?

(but seriously.)

'my help comes from the lord, who made the heavens and the earth.  he will not let you stumble and fall; the one who watches ( Read more... )

i am hardcore.

hmmm.  life.  yes.  interesting.

random thoughts of the day:

• sometimes i laugh at really inopportune times but i find humor in things that weren't supposed to be funny.  i'm sorry.  it's just part of who i am.
• open the window.  we have to get out.
• knowing you're not alone kind of rocks.
• feeling understood and respected is one of ( Read more... )

'i feel like a deeply disturbed child, really a sad and lonely boy who was taught, as all boys in here are taught, not to tell the truth about fear, not attend to my wounds.  this made me psychologically fragile and the desire for retaliation has enslaved me.  it ultimately pushed me over the edge.  i constructed a wall around my heart, blocking ( Read more... )