Stop Crumbling the Cookie!

[love_joongie]

Title: Stop crumbling the cookie!
Characters: DBSK
Pairings: mostly yunjae, yusoo
Genre: humour, highschool, a bit cracky
Length: chaptered
Rating:pg
Summary: Jaejoong just got dumped by his super hot boyfriend and drags his friend to a frat party. But when he gets a little too drunk and ends up getting almost everyone he meets as drunk as he is, things start going bad. After, kind of sort of, accidentaly on purpose, sleeping with his arch-nemesis (or best friend... whatever), Jaejoong's life turns upside down and inside out. Now he must battle determined grandma's and mother's, and a really bitchy chick, (not actually beat them up, cuz... that's mean... especially the grandma) to be free to find his own happiness... whatever the hell that is.
Disclaimer: Ok so a bunch of other fics have this so i thought maybe i should put it up too.. teehee. So i don't own anything or anybody anywhere here.. except maybe the plot... so yeah... no ownage, although owning JJ would be sooo.. but i digress..

This is my first fanfic pic :D i hope u like it!

































Chapter 16

I stared at the doorknob to my math class, and giggled. God, I’m so nervous. How should I confess to him? I could burst in dramatically and shout it loudly. Ew, that’s too public and cheesy. I could sit adorably next to him and whisper it in his ear. That would be so cute! He probably wouldn’t believe me though. Maybe I should show him how much I love him! GAH! I said it out loud… in my head. I giggled out loud again. Changmin sighed behind me.

“Go in already!” He snapped. “There’s a line at the door!”

“DON’T PRESSURE ME! THIS IS VERY STRESSFUL!” I shouted back at him.

“Don’t tell me you’ve never confessed to a guy before.” Changmin rolled his eyes, and scoffed. I gave him a look. “You HAVEN’T?”

“Well, usually people end up confessing to me, so I don’t really have to say anything but ‘Sure I’ll go out with you.’” I told him. “Or you know, reject them heartlessly and hope they don’t start crying.”

Changmin shook his head at me, reaching around me to throw open the door to the class. “Just get in there!” He pushed me forward into the stupid room. “Hwaiting, Hyung!”  He did the weird fist pump, and ran off cackling evilly into the distance. That boy’s on some kind of crack.

I tossed my hair dramatically, and stalked into the room, scanning it carefully for Yunho’s chestnut hair. He was reading some really boring looking page that probably had words on it, and looked up when I slid gracefully into the seat next to him. Okay, when I stumbled awkwardly into the chair, after tripping on some bitches books. Whatever. He’s in love with me, so he probably though it was graceful. Hihihi, he’s in lurve with me. Hihihi. Oh no, my brain has gone haywire! And I don’t care! Wow, this is such a nice peaceful feeling, this not caring thing.

“Hey! I need to tell you something!” I said cheerfully, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. “What are you reading?”

Yunho blinked a couple of times before answering. He’s so cute. “Oh… Um, nothing. This is just paperwork for the clubs. I’m kind of late. And as much as I enjoy being stabbed repeatedly in the chest by a crazy bitch…” He rolled his eyes, and went back to reading the piece of paper.

“Do you need help? I am your VP after all.” I grabbed the paper from his hands and read it. “A cooking club? Don’t we have like a billion of those already?” I groaned.

“But this one is just for guys.” He countered, pointing at the little ‘No Girls Allowed’ note. “We don’t have an all-boys cooking club.”

“Yunho, you can’t keep accepting all these clubs! This is why you have to do so much paper work. I mean there’s barely enough clubrooms to go around with all the clubs we already have!” I chided, tossing the paper away. “Let them join a regular cooking club. Problem solved.”

“But they don’t want to be embarrassed in front of the girls!” He whined.

“Yunho, sometimes to accomplish things you have to get over your embarrassment and just do it.” I nodded wisely.

“Fine, fine. What were you going to tell me?” He wrapped his arm around my waist, and watched my face intently.

“Oh, right… what was I going to tell you?” I held my chin pensively. Oh my God! I completely forgot! It was really important too, I’m sure of it! “I forgot!” I cried in panic. What was it about? Oh dear Lord, what was I supposed to say?

“It’s okay, you’ll remember.” He rubbed soothing circles in my back. “What was it about?”

“I don’t know! I’m drawing a complete blank! It was so important too! How did I forget it?” I grabbed my head in my hands and shook it. “GAH! What was it? What was iiiiit?!?”

“Hey, look at me.” He pulled my hands away from my face, and replaced them with his own. “It’s okay, relax! You’ll tell me when you remember okay.”

I nodded, staring right into his chocolate brown eyes. They’re really pretty. I wonder why people always freak out about my eyes and almost never mention his. They’re so deep, and emotional. I’m not saying he’s crying or anything, it’s just that you can feel what he’s feeling through his eyes. And right now, I was feeling… loved. “Yeah…” I sighed. The thudding noise… ah, who am I kidding? My heart started beating loudly in my chest. Oh right! I was going to tell him I loved him! DUH! How could I forget that? It’s all his fault, sending my brain to crazy town with his presence. “Um… Yunho… I…”

“Yeah?” He leaned closer.

“I… just… um… I wanted to tell you…” Come on mouth! Don’t fail me now! Just say it. SAY IT!

“You wanted to tell me what, Boo?” He looked at me through his eyelashes. God, he’s so gorgeous.

“I… I…” Holy poop on marmalade toast! I can’t say it! It won’t come out! Take a deep breath, Jaejoong. You can do this! It’s just like Obama said ‘Yes, you can!’ Just tell him you love him, you shouldn’t even be afraid of rejection since he already told you he loves you. Come on! At least mouth the words or something.

I sat there for a while, with my mouth gaping open trying to push out those three little words that would probably make my life much much simpler, staring into Yunho’s gorgeous eyes. He didn’t say anything. Just waited patiently, with a hopeful gleam in his eye, and then the bell rang. “Tell me later.” He whispered in my ear, as Miss Big Head barged in and yelled at us to not be so lovey-dovey when there were obviously lonely people in the same room, who are thirty now and not even married yet. I have no idea who she was talking about, who’d be still in high school at thirty?

“Right.” I muttered, and spent the rest of the class trying to gather up the courage to tell him. I even tried writing it down, but my hand was shaking so much it looks like a big messy mess on my notebook. Why is it so damn hard to tell him? GAH! What is wrong with me? I usually blurt crap like this out on a regular basis! Why, today of all days, did my mouth decide to go against its own nature? I’ll tell him at lunch for sure! Maybe sneak him out to our office, and pretend to help him with paperwork. Yes! Genius! Pure unaltered genius!

The bell rang and I swiftly packed my stuff, and turned to Yunho. “Let’s go to our office.” I smiled brightly.

“Eh? Why?” He blinked in confusion. I groaned.

“Weren’t you the one who said you were behind on the club paperwork? Let’s go! Come on! MOVE IT!” I pulled him off the bench, grabbed his arm, and dragged him behind me down the long hallway. “Excuse me! Pardon me. Coming through.” I pushed against the sea of students heading to the cafeteria.

“Hyung!” Junsu’s voice squeaked from somewhere in the crowd, and he was suddenly latched on to my neck.

“Squishy buddy!” I gave him a one-armed hug. “I can’t talk right now. Yunho and I have important things to discuss in our office.”

“Ooooh!” Junsu giggled, and blushed. “I see… Did you tell him yet?”

“What? No, not yet. How do you know about that?” I pouted.

“Changmin told me.” My squishy buddy giggled.

I groaned. “I’m never telling that kid anything ever again!”

“So where’s Yunho Hyung?” Su squeaked. He’s so adorable.

“He’s right behind me.” I looked back to show Junsu where he was, and found an empty spot where his whole body should be. “Where did he go?!” I looked around frantically. How dare he disappear on me when I’m on the verge of confessing to him?

“JAE!” Someone screamed in the distance, and I saw Yunho, being dragged away by a huge wave of students, incapable of fighting against them. “Help me!” He squeaked.

Junsu and I shared a glance and sighed. We marched our way through the crowd, pushing and shoving against all the people. “Hyuuuuuung!” Junsu wailed, as he was pulled away into the current. “Go on without me, Hyung! FIGHTIIIIIING!” And he disappeared into the crowd.

“Why is everyone so dramatic today?” I fished into the crowd, and pulled Junsu’s arm out, tugging him back to safety.

“You saved me. Again.” He exclaimed in awe, and bear-hugged me tightly. “You’re the best squishy buddy in the whole wide world, Hyung.”

“I know. I know.” I patted his head absently, scanning the crowd for my Yunho.

Oh God! I just thought of him as mine! I’m becoming a macho man that claims women as his property. Not that Yunho is a woman… AT ALL. He’s got the junk to prove it. Why am I going off on this random tangent? I have to save Yunho!

“Okay, Su. It’s time for a squishy buddy crack team operation.” I told him, and he nodded eagerly. “We’re going to link arms, and barrel through the crowd! Are you with me?”

“Yup.”

“I said, ARE YOU WITH ME!” I shouted.

“SIR, YES, SIR!” My squishy buddy saluted me.

“Then let’s do this.” I may have been watching one too many war movies lately, but whatever. We stood back to back, and linked our elbows together, and marched through the crowd, obliterating anyone who came in our path. And by obliterating, I mean pushing aside. No one was severely injured during this rescue mission. We carved a path through the starving students, until we reached Yunho. “Grab on!” I shouted to him.

“THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU!” He pushed Junsu away from me, grabbed my face and crushed his lips against mine. The entire crowd stop in its tracks to stare at us then started walking in an orderly fashion around us. Yunho pulled away from me. “You don’t know how horrible it was down there!”

“Yunho, you were caught in a crowd for about two minutes.” I rolled my eyes.

“Yes, but they were two minutes away from you.” He smirked.

“Ew, is this new loving me thing going to make you this cheesy all the time.” I grimaced.

“Yup.” He nodded.

I rolled my eyes at him and looked around for my squishy buddy, who was standing awkwardly about a foot away from us. “Junsu! We did it!” I raised my hand for a high-five, then realized it was a douche-y thing to do and hugged him instead. “You were awesome!” Yunho hugged us both, and it got awkward.

I pushed him away. “This is a squishy buddy hug, Yunho. You’re not allowed to partake in it.” He pouted adorably.

“Junsu! There you are!” Yoochun popped out of nowhere, and started trying to separate me and Junsu. “Whaaa? Stop hugging him, Joongie! He’s MY boyfriend! Get your own!” He screamed, pulling Junsu in tight hug, and hiding his head in his chest, away from other people’s eyes. The sea of students had disappeared into the cafeteria, so it was really just Yunho, Junsu, Yoochun, and me standing in the hallway.

“Maybe, I will!” I shouted dramatically, and grabbed Yunho’s hand. “Come on, Yunho. Let’s go have sex!” I pulled him after me, and we headed to the SBP’s office.

“How come we never have sex?” Junsu’s muffled voice drifted behind us.

“Because you’re mafio parents have been sending threatening letters about how you have to be a virgin until we get married.” Yoochun answered.

“We’re getting MARRIED?!?” Junsu squeaked.

“They’re getting married?” Yunho asked me as I dragged him after me.

“Duh! Yoochun doesn’t date people he isn’t planning to have sex with.” I laughed, throwing open the door to our office, and pulling him in after me. “Besides, he really likes Junsu.”

Yunho pulled me to a stop, closing the door behind him. “Jae, what are we doing here? I told you, no sex.” He wagged his eyebrows. “I know I’m hard to resist but-”

“HUSH! I wanted to tell you something.” I reminded him. “But I can’t do it in public.” I pouted.

He sighed, and walked over to his desk, plopping himself down on his chair. I slid onto the table in front of him and smiled brightly. Yunho placed his hand on my thigh, gently massaging up and down its length. Maybe we can have love sex after this. It’s probably better than regular sex. “So, what did you want to tell me?”

“I-”

“YUNHO! I was wrong! I’m not in love with Jaejoong-ssi! I’ve realized my true feelings now!” Donghae’s stupid voice came through the doors. Yunho and I both groaned simultaneously.

“How soon can you set him up with your friend?” Yunho sighed.

“I’m seeing him tonight, so by tomorrow.” I pouted, reaching over to fix a wayward strand of his hair.

“Not soon enough.” He sighed again, looking up at my fingers as they tucked his hair to perfection. “You can come in.” he called to Donghae.

“Yunho, Yunho, Yunho!” Donghae walked in. “I realized, I’m totally in love with-” He blinked at me, as I turned to smile brightly at him.

“Hey, Donghae.” I waved.

“What’s he doing here?” He crossed his arms over his chest, and glared at me like a jealous housewife. I sighed.

“Jaejoong is my VP. He’s supposed to be here.” Yunho explained.

“On your desk? In that lewd position, with that man-whore shirt on?” He asked indignantly. “He’s obviously trying to get in your pants.”

“Hey!”

“I picked that shirt out for him.” Yunho griped. “And it’s perfectly fine! And I don’t remember having to report to you about who gets into my pants!”

“After all the time we’ve spent together, all the memories we’ve shared, after all that… you’re going to throw me away for this cheap hoe?” Donghae sobbed.

“Okay, no! You are a stupid little puppy!” I shouted at Donghae. “BAD DOG!” He whimpered sadly. “You confessed to me yesterday, you stupid twit! And you have no right to call me a whore when I can see your nipples through your shirt!” I pointed out, and Donghae crossed his arms over his chest quickly. “Now, get the hell out of here, before I stab you repeatedly with a very sharp knife!”

“Jaejoong-ah.” Donghae gasped.

“What now?”

“I think I love you again.”

“GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!” Yunho screamed at him. Donghae yelped and rushed out of the room, whimpering sadly like a lost puppy. “How does he switch crushes so fast? This is all your fault.” He glared at me.

“Whaaa? How is this my fault? I’m the victim here.” I pouted.

“If you weren’t so perfect, I wouldn’t have to fight so hard just to keep you by my side.” He groaned, burying his face in my thighs.

I giggled. “What are you doing? Stop that! It tickles.”

I pushed up his forehead, and he leaned chin on my knees. “What were you going to tell me?” He asked. Yunho wrapped his arms around my calves and pulled me closer to him. His face was about half an inch away from my crotch.

“Right! I was- AH!” I squeaked when his nose skimmed my zipper, his hands travelling up on my thighs. “Hey, I thought you said no sex!” I raked my fingers in his hair and pulled his head up. “You have to let me finish what I’m going to say!”

“Right, sorry. It’s so hard, you know… when you’re this close to me.” He started biting at my skin through my shirt, moving his way up my tummy to my chest.

“Mm…” I hummed, when he slid his tongue up the dent in my collarbone. His left hand crept up my pants, and started undoing my belt, while his right spread my legs apart. He pushed himself off the chair a little. I looked down at him through hooded eyes as he reached up to kiss me. He stopped himself about an inch from my lips. “What?” I breathed, my heart pounding in anticipation.

“We can’t do this.” Yunho whispered.

“Oh COME ON! Make up your mind already!” I cried, grabbing his cheeks and stretching them. “Don’t get me all hot and bothered and stop half-way!”

“I’m sorry.” He got up and took my hand, helping me jump off the table. “I just… Okay.” He turned me around so that I was facing him and held both my hands in his. “I know you’re still shocked from my confession yesterday-”

“No, I-”

“Let me finish.” He interrupted, sighing nervously. “I want you to know that you can take your time to answer, but until then, I really… and I mean REALLY want us to have a relationship. So… um…” He scratched his head nervously. “I wanted to ask you… Would you… I mean if you really want to, I’m not forcing you or anything, but… will you… go out?” He paused. “With me?”

~~~

“YOU SAID YOU’D THINK ABOUT IT?”

“Yoochun, don’t shout. You’re going to scare Sheila.” I poked the dead rat with a scalpel.

“Sheila is dead and split open, Jaejoong! Don’t change the subject.” Yoochun smacked the back of my head, and I almost slammed my nose into the dead rat’s guts.

“Ew.” I pushed him back. “Don’t be an asshole, Chun. I wanted to confess my feelings first!”

“Why didn’t you just agree to go out with him, and confess then? You are an idiot!” He punched my shoulder.

“GAAH! I don’t know! I wasn’t thinking straight! My heart was beating superfast and my brain went all wonky and confused, so I blurted out the first thing that came to mind and hauled ass out of there!” I cried. “I’ve never confessed to anybody before! I’m not sure how it’s supposed to go!”

“Usually, it involves you ACTUALLY telling someone about your feelings!” Yoochun groaned massaging his temples with his fingers. “THAT’S HOW YOU CONFESS!”

“Yoochun, please keep your voice down. Other students are trying to concentrate.” The teacher’s voice wafted in from the hallway. I don’t think she’ll ever come in during dissection season.

“You know what Jae? Min and I have been keeping this from Heechul so you could do it on your own, but I think it’s time we unleashed the beast on you.” Yoochun nodded.

“I will kill you if you do.” I glared at him. “And I’m talking full-out-lock-you-in-the-basement-slow-and-painful-with-a-spoon murder.”

“Then get a move on with this Yunho thing! You love him, right?” He asked me.

“Yeah...”

“Well, what are you waiting for?” He threw his arms in the air.

“Fine, fine. I’ll tell him tonight. After work.” I sighed. “Let’s get back to this stupid rat.”

“Hey! Sheila has feelings too you know!”

The rest of the class was pretty much spent on trying to draw the complicated lines of Sheila’s stomach. I had to run out of class to make it to work on time, and the manager scolded me for being sweaty around the cappuccinos. I nodded vaguely in his direction, and hopped behind the counter to start my shift. A really pretty and neat looking girl that I’d never seen before was standing behind the cash register, serving a customer. I scrutinized her from my spot behind the espresso machine, and found no visible flaw. Good! I can make a new friend. She might be a total bitch though. The girl turned her head, and nodded at me.

“Hey, Joongie.” She waved, and went back to the customer. Holy crap! She knows my name!

“Um… Hi…” I inched closer to her carefully. “Who are you?”

“Don’t joke around and get me a latte.” She mussed up my hair, without breaking eye contact with the lady standing across from her.

“Uh… sure.” I started brewing the latte, squinting at her suspiciously. I poured the coffee in a cup and handed to the customer. I glanced at the girl leaning against the wall with her green apron on. “Oh my God! Seo Jin?!?!? Is that you? Where’s your make-up? You’re piercings? Where’s you’re purple hair?” I ran touched her now black locks, gasping in shock. “What happened to you?”

“Is it bad?” Her usually neutral face, contorted with worry. She widened her eyes adorably, and bit her lower lip. “I’m meeting my girlfriend’s parents today, and I really want to make a good impression. Did I overdo it on the eyebrows? I told the lady I wanted tadpoles, but I’m so sure she screwed it up and made them uneven; I started doing them on my own. And then I spilled my best nail polish on my favourite shirt, and ended up having to wear this.” She pointed at the plain white button down shirt she was wearing, that looked perfectly nice on her. “She said to make myself look like a boy, because her dad has issues with girls, so I’m not wearing any make-up, but really there’s only so much you can do!”

“Relax. You look great!” I laughed. “I never thought I’d see you without your make-up on you’re really pretty.”

“PRETTY?!” She cried. “I can’t be pretty! She said I had to be boy-ish! Ugh!”

Aw, I’ve never seen this side of Seo Jin before. It’s pretty adorable. “It’s okay. Who are you dating that’s got you so worried about first impressions?” I leaned back on the wall.

She blinked at me. “Su Jin.”

I laughed. “You’re joking, right?” Seo Jin shook her head, and my smile faded. “You’re dating Su Jin! You are the reason she came out of the closet and turned my house upside down?”

“I thought you were living with Yunho guy…” Seo Jin mused. “But yeah. Su Jin and I have been going out for a week now.” She smiled her Cheshire smile. “We’re exclusive.” She added.

“Oh. My. God!” I grabbed Seo Jin by the shoulders and shook her. “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?”

“Can I get some service here?” Someone said from behind the cash, and we both turned to glare at him. Eunhyuk’s huge grin disappeared slowly. “What? It was a joke. Geez. Touchy, touchy.” He shook his head, and headed back to get his apron. “What are you two talking about that’s sooooo serious?”

“It’s none of your business Anchovy face.” I snapped at him.

“Joongie doesn’t want me to date his sister.” Seo Jin shrugged. “I don’t see why he’s being such a macho man.”

“Joongie.” Eunhyuk tutted. “You should be a better brother. Maybe lesbian-ism will be good for your sister.”

“It’s not about my sister! She can date whoever the hell she wants! I meant you should have told me so I could protect YOU from my dad’s demonic wrath!” I told them.

“So you DO think I’m to girly!” Seo Jin gasped. “What do I do? What do I do?”

“I could draw a moustache on if you want.” Eunhyuk snickered. “It would make you really manly.”

“You think so?” When did Seo Jin get so gullible?

“No! There will be no moustaches drawn on anybody’s face!” I shouted, snatching the eyeliner out of Eunhyuk’s hand. “Seo Jin, you need to relax, okay?”

“But this is so stressful! First impressions are EVERYTHING!” She screamed.

“You’re right. If you fail at this, his dad will probably hate you… FOREVER!” Eunhyuk said ominously.

“NOO! That can’t happen!” Seo Jin cried, looking up at me with desperation in her eyes.

“Eunhyuk, you’re not helping!” I smacked my co-worker on the forehead, and went back to Seo Jin. “Okay, listen. How about I go with you to our house, and prep you until we get there.” I suggested.

She nodded eagerly, and gave me an awkward hug. “Thank you! You’re the best.”

“Um… hey, not to disrupt the moment or anything.” A voice came from behind us. “But can I get a coffee?”

“Yes, sir! Right away!” Seo Jin gave me a tiny squeeze, and left to help the customer.

“Aaaah, life is so wonderful when you’re in love.” Eunhyuk sighed, and nudged my arm. “When are you going to set me up with someone? I’m a very lonely person, you know.” He pouted at me.

“Well, I do know someone who’s exactly your type, but you wouldn’t be interested.” I waved dismissively.

“YES I AM! PLEASE! I DON’T CARE IF HE HAS A THIRD NIPPLE! PLEASE JOONGIE.” He pouted, tugging at my sleeve. “I’m so aloooone.”

“Fine.” I laughed. 
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17

**YAAY! I was so uninspired for this fic this week it was horrible, but i managed to string all this together! hope its not too cramped. And I don't have anything more to bore you with so ENJOY! Thnks for reading :D**