[Song fic] Stand by U
S t a n d b y U
Author: Love_cassiopeia
Summary: [Song-fic, based on the 28th Japanese single Stand by U -東方神起 ] The thought of not knowing where you are drives me to the brink of insanity. Wherever you are, I want you to know that I’m still here.
Length: One-shot, song fic
Rated: PG
Genre: Romance/Angst
Warning: Angst
Pairing(s): YunJae
It could be considered coincidence, but the month immediately after you left, the leaves began to change its colour, adjusting itself to the frigid winter that was on its way to the city. They fell from their branches, leaving a collage in the shade of blood scattered across the ground. It was not only the weather that began to change, but my overall life fell to the hands of change as well. I barely paid attention at work, had a tough time sleeping, and possessed a horrible appetite. From the day you stepped out of this very apartment, I felt as if I was a completely different person-a stranger.
君がさよならを告げずに出て行ったあの日から
この街の景色や緑が変わった気がするよ
君のすべてになりたいと交わした約束も
果たされないまま思い出に変わってしまう
Since the day you left without a word of goodbye
I feel that the scenery around me has changed.
The promise I made
that I would become your everything
and the incomplete memories
have also changed.
We had experienced countless arguments during our previous years together. I had always paid extraneous attention to my career-coming home at around eleven-thirty each night to see that you had already gone to bed. The dinner you cooked was left in the fridge with a note, one which you wrote with your messy yet exquisite handwriting. We barely spoke to each other or had dinner together. And without even knowing it, the distance between us slowly began to broaden.
That was what we became. Even now I could still not forget the reasons why I fell in love with you. I fell for that pale complexion, that raven-coloured hair-even those whimpers that escaped your lips as I trapped you below me during long nights. If only I could touch you again. If only I could experience the kindness that was bottled up inside you once again.
Although work kept me busy most of the time, you continuously painted a smile on your lips, one that informed me that you could tolerate the pain. But on the day of our anniversary, you advocated a single day to spend with me alone (that was the only time you advocated for anything). I spurned your offer, considering I had a meeting and couldn’t afford to miss out on anything crucial.
You raised a dispute with me after that, saying how I was reluctant to give up a mere twenty-four hours for the one I cherished. Then, you accused me of whether or not I truly loved you. We fought for hours, throwing pillows and other objects across the room to rid ourselves of frustration. We slept in separate beds that night.
The next morning, you left, not leaving a single trace behind.
一人きりで君が泣いたあの時
すぐに飛んで行けば今もまだ君は僕の横にいてくれた
できるならばもう一度言いたかった大好きって
君への思いを溢れ出した言葉はもう今は届かない
When you were crying by yourself back then,
if only had I run to you
you would still be by my side.
If I was given one more chance,
I would tell you once again
that I love you.
But the words that contain my overflowing feelings
cannot reach you anymore.
If only I had dropped work for a day and offered you more of my time, then you would still be here by my side. How hard was it really, to miss one meeting? How hard was it to just skip one day of work to provide time for the one I loved?
But there’s no point regretting my decisions now, because you’re already gone.
君はどこにいて 誰とどこにいて どんな服を着て 何して笑ってるんだろう
僕はここにいて 今もここにいて 君と二人でまた会えると信じているよ
Where are you now?
Who are you being with?
What kind of clothes are you wearing?
What are doing and laughing at?
I am right here.
Even now, I am right here.
And I still believe that we will see each other again.
The thought of not knowing where you are drives me to the brink of insanity. Who would you be now? Would you be as pathetic as me, doing nothing but sitting in this apartment, mourning over you? Or would you be with a new partner, one which actually listened to you?
Wherever you are, I want you to know that I’m still here. I smell your scent on the furniture; at times I can even hear your voice. I’ve waited here for nearly a year, thinking that you would be able to return one day to hear my apologies.
In the end, I’m just an idiot for my wishful thinking.
君が居なきゃ何にも感じない幸せって
どう頑張ってみてもこぼれ落ちた涙はすぐにとまらない
Because you're not by my side,
no matter how hard I try,
I'll end up crying
and my tears just won't stop.
I’ve tried large amounts of tactics to try to forget you. Alcohol was one; fancying other people was another. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find an individual who was apt enough to share those idiotic, blissful days with me like you once did.
My failure leads me to tears. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to find the strength to hold them back.
Back then, I had you to wipe the tears away. Now, I have no one.
Who would be the person to wipe those tears off your face now? Or would you not even dare to summon the sadness to cry?
君がいるだけで 輝いて見えた あの頃は二度と戻ってはこないけど
何が起こっても 何を失っても 君を愛したこと決して忘れたくない
Even if I know that the days
when you were by my side making my world shine
won't come back again,
and no matter what will happen,
no matter how far I'm lost,
I never ever want to forget that my heart has chosen to love you.
Even if my heart has decided to forget you; even if my mind cannot sustain all the memories we created anymore, I will still continue to love you-to remember that I shed thousands of tears for you once upon a time.
変わらず思っているよ
This feeling won't change
The twenty-seventh of December was the when the strange incident occurred. I came across a man who resembled you-in more ways than one-holding his hands with another individual. The two of you huddled close to each other, exchanging warm words and laughing at each other’s jokes.
I turned away immediately; I didn’t know whether it was to make sure that you didn’t see me, or to rid myself of the horrifying sight.
That man standing by you… was he any good for you? Were his words as comforting as mine? Who was he?
A wave of jealousy pierced through me. My eyes were certainly not ready to see such a sight.
It didn’t take me long to realize that I wanted to be awarded with the opportunity once again to Stand by U.
君だけ思っているよ
You are the only one I'm thinking of