Fic: The Rule of Love (1/4?)
Title: The Rule of Love 1/4?
Author: The Dawn
Pairing: Kahlan/Cara
Rating: PG-13 (May be closer to R in future chapters)
Warnings: Angst abounds. Be warned. Spoilers up to “Unbroken”.
Summary: Kahlan can't let Zedd cast the Spell of Undoing, which leaves only one option: Confession.
Disclaimer: Maybe if they were mine my muse would be more cooperative. As it is, I can only lay claim to my fantasies.
Author's Notes: So, I'm still working on the prequel(s) to "The Wanting of You". I've got a good 3-4 projects in progress right now, and what I've had to start doing is just look at them all and work on/add to whichever one I'm able to at the moment. I started this story, like, ages ago, and it was meant to be a quick little one-shot, but it grew into this little mini-monster. I've written almost through to the end of part 3, and I'm really only guessing that it'll be just one more part after that.
Also, this, like everything else I've done, is unbetaed. Mostly because I've just never had the motivation to seek out a beta. As I've been working on this, though, and my other projects, I've realized it might be helpful to have someone to look over stuff for me. If anyone would be awesome enough to want to do that for me, I'd appreciate it a lot.
Title comes from Sarah McLachlan, “Do What You Have To Do”, which really is kinda the theme song for this story. I didn't include any bits of lyrics because I couldn't pick just a few lines, and I didn't want to post the whole song:P
The Rule of Love 1/4?
Kahlan stood, hands on her hips, watching from a distance while Richard and Zedd bound Cara to the tree. Her heart was crying out against what she knew she would have to do, even as duty steeled her bones and made her hands tingle with power. Not since she was still under her father's power could she remember being so disgusted by her own nature.
“You know what you have to do, Richard. But we both know you don't have the stomach for it.” Cara's mocking words were directed at Richard, but Kahlan's own gut twisted in response. Zedd stepped forward and waved his hand over the captured Mord-Sith, and Kahlan watched with horror as the magic burned its way to the surface of her skin. She was aware of Zedd and Richard talking, but all she heard were Cara's suppressed grunts of pain. The men retreated back toward Kahlan, and she tore her eyes away from Cara as Zedd began to speak.
“We may have to accept the fact that the Cara we know is gone forever.”
Gone forever. Kahlan tried to cling to those words, even as her heart refused to accept them. If she could make herself believe them, it might make this bearable. She tried to concentrate on the conversation, but her eyes kept drifting back to Cara. It had only been a few days since she had been stuck in that valley with Richard, since she'd realized that Richard's feelings for her far exceeded her feelings for him. Sitting with him in the forest, hearing him profess just how much he loved her, had brought only one thing to the forefront of her mind: Cara.
She had ached for Richard, for the knowledge that she would have to break his heart, but a giddiness had filled her as her own feelings became clear to her. She'd been agonizing for weeks over what she felt for the blonde, trying to untangle the mess of emotions: desire, friendship, sisterly affection, all tinged with a stubborn, lingering hatred for the woman who had personally ensured that she would be the last Confessor. It had taken Richard's unbridled declaration of love and devotion to boil all of her feelings down to their simplest form: she loved Cara. With all of her being, against all she had been taught, she loved Cara more than she could imagine loving anyone. And now she would never get the chance to tell her.
“There is one way,” Kahlan's heart jumped to her throat as she locked her gaze on the Wizard, a small flicker of hope igniting in her eyes, “but the results are unpredictable. It's a spell I learned, years ago in the Wizard's Keep, but I've never dared use it. It's called the Spell of Undoing.”
Tears sprung to Kahlan's eyes as her hope was dashed. She couldn't let Zedd perform that spell. The Confessors didn't learn much about wizard magic, it being irrelevant to their studies, but with the Wizard's Keep so close to the Palace, every Confessor had heard rumors of the Spell of Undoing. It had the potential to unravel existence itself, if cast carelessly without thought to every possible ramification. There was too much they didn't know about what had happened to Cara, about the exact nature of the magic used to break her, and they didn't have the luxury of time to find all of the answers.
Kahlan pushed her grief down, locking it away as Richard railed on about not giving up on the Mord-Sith. She braced herself for the argument to come, then placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Richard, no.” Her voice was resigned yet firm, but Richard could feel her hand trembling against him. “It's too dangerous. We can't risk the fate of the world for one woman.”
The Seeker looked at Kahlan in shock. “How can you just give up on her? After everything she's done for us?” He had watched as the two women grew closer, taking pride in being the one to foster friendship between such mortal enemies. He had thought Kahlan cared more than this. The accusation in his voice shook Kahlan's resolve, and she closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to fall.
“Please, Richard. Don't make this harder for me.” Her voice cracked, and her hand tightened on his shoulder as she clutched at every strand of willpower she possessed. “If there were any other way, if we had more time-”
“No!” Richard spat, shaking Kahlan's hand away. “Zedd, do the spell. Now.”
Zedd let out a defeated sigh. “My boy, I'm afraid Kahlan is right. We have to consider more than just ourselves and our own desires in this. The Cara we know would gladly sacrifice her own life to serve you, Richard, and in so doing, serve all of humanity.”
Richard stepped back, his gaze flickering between Zedd, Kahlan, and the woman who had given up everything she had known to help him in his quest. He knew they were right, but it felt like a betrayal of everything he was. How could he stand by and watch as the woman he loved willingly destroyed one of his closest friends?
“I can't.” He said quietly, hanging his head in resignation. Before Zedd or Kahlan could protest, he continued. “I can't watch. If you're going to do this, I can't watch. I'll go keep watch, make sure there aren't any more Mord-Sith lurking around.”
Kahlan watched him walk away, bracing herself for what came next. Ever since the words “I don't know” had escaped Dahlia's lips, she had known what she would have to do. Gathering her strength, she schooled her features into the emotionless mask that was almost second nature to her. Zedd didn't speak, just lay a comforting hand on her shoulder, providing what meager support he could. Taking a deep breath, Kahlan stepped forward, letting the wizard's hand fall back to his side. This was something she would have to do on her own.
As she approached, Kahlan noticed for the first time how much Cara was fidgeting. She'd never seen the Mord-Sith so restless; Cara was always in control of her actions, wasting no energy on excess movement. Now, the tension rolled off of her in waves as she looked anywhere but at the Confessor, her arrogant smirk fading into cold defiance.
Stopping in front of the bound woman, Kahlan reached out and cradled Cara's face in her hands, briefly wondering if the resulting flinch was in anticipation of being confessed, or a reaction to being touched in kindness, rather than anger. Cara was silent, her eyes stubbornly unreadable, but Kahlan searched desperately for some small semblance of the woman she had come to love. She found none.
She couldn't stop herself from leaning in, brushing her lips over the blonde's forehead, then ever-so-softly over Cara's own. The kiss was chaste, more so than she'd given her own sister, but her heart broke at how right it felt, even as Cara's expression remained proudly stoic, refusing to respond. A tear finally escaped down Kahlan's cheek as she moved away, raising her hand to grasp Cara's throat firmly.
“I'm sorry, Cara.” Her voice wavered, but her resolve didn't. Her blue eyes shone with love as they locked onto defiant green, magic swelling up in her as both turned black.
The power slammed through Cara's body, colliding with the dark magic conjured by the Sisters of the Dark. As Kahlan recovered from the use of her powers, she watched in dismay as Cara was immediately wracked with pain. The woman's throat grew so hot it nearly burned her hand, and she snatched it away as Cara convulsed in agony.
Panicked, Kahlan looked back at the wizard. “Zedd, what's happening to her? This isn't how confession works!”
Bewildered, Zedd moved to Kahlan's side. He extended a hand toward Cara, reaching out with his power to try to gauge what was happening. He drew back almost instantly, feeling almost as though he'd stuck his hand in a fire. He could not gather any information this way. He looked down at Kahlan apologetically. “I'm sorry, my dear, I couldn't tell you. It's most likely a reaction between your power and the dark magic used to break her.”
Desperation filled Kahlan as she grasped Cara's shoulders, ignoring the heat as she tried to get the woman to look at her. “Cara! Cara, where is Rahl taking the Stone?”
Cara was barely able to make out Kahlan's voice through the waves of pain engulfing her body. She opened her mouth to respond, but all that came out was an agonized scream. Kahlan watched with horror as magic swirled over the surface of Cara's skin, twisting her nerve endings in varying combinations to elicit as much pain as possible. The ropes binding her to the tree chafed at her as she struggled, finally burning holes in the leather and slashing angry welts across her skin.
Kahlan saw this, and sprang into action, tearing at the knots holding Cara captive. “Zedd, help me!” Warily, Zedd waved his hand, and the blonde collapsed into Kahlan's arms as the bonds were released. She slowly lowered them both to the ground, cradling Cara's body in her lap. Tears were now flowing freely down Kahlan's face as Cara's screams tore through her, guilt wracking her frame as she rocked back and forth, clutching Cara's shaking body to her chest. She'd destroyed the woman she loved, for nothing.
Images flooded her mind, unbidden, of Cara chained in a Mord-Sith temple, Cara writhing in pain as Rahl tried to break her. Of Cara, doing everything in her power to resist, willing to die before serving Rahl again. A bitter taste rose in her mouth as she thought of Darken Rahl. They would find him. Even though Cara couldn't tell them anything, they would find him. And then Kahlan would kill him. Slowly, and painfully. She couldn't confess him, which was unfortunate. Briefly, her mind indulged in fantasies of commanding him to torture himself to death while she watched. It was a pity she would be forced to use her daggers to inflict the torment, but in a way it was more fitting. She would look him in the eyes as she slowly bled the life from his body.
Such thoughts would ordinarily horrify Kahlan, who had been taught for most of her life that violence was nothing more than a necessary evil. Now, the only fault she could find in her plan was that it wouldn't come close to being what the bastard deserved.
Kahlan was so wrapped up in her thoughts of revenge that it took her a few moments to realize that Cara was no longer moving. A sob poured from her lips as she held the limp body tightly to her, murmuring Cara's name through her tears. Feeling a hand on her shoulder, she looked up at Zedd. The pain that radiated from her eyes took the wizard by surprise. He'd known the two women had grown close, but Kahlan looked completely shattered.
“Kahlan, I think it's over.” It broke his heart to say it, to pull Kahlan back into reality, but they couldn't forget their quest. “We need to find Richard and keep moving.”
Kahlan didn't answer him, but lowered the body to the ground, grief warring with duty. Sniffing back tears, she gently ran a hand over Cara's pale cheek, memorizing the softness of her skin. She gasped as a weak breath brushed her wrist. Urgently, she moved her fingers to Cara's throat, finding a faint but steady pulse.
“Zedd, she's alive!” Her voice was overflowing with joy and disbelief as she looked up at the wizard, hope shining in her eyes. “How can that be?”
Zedd was at a loss. “I don't know, child. I've never seen anything like what just happened. I can only guess that somehow the confession canceled out the dark magic, leaving Cara's life intact. I wouldn't have thought that a person's body could withstand such torment.”
A small smile touched Kahlan's lips as her gaze returned to the unconscious woman. “If anyone could, it would be Cara.”
“Kahlan,” Zedd began hesitantly, not wanting to cause the Confessor any more pain, but unable to ignore the obvious conclusion. “If she awakes, it is likely that her mind will still not be her own. Two magics battled within her today; it follows that one of them will have won. Whether she will still be under Rahl's power, or she will be confessed, I cannot say.”
Kahlan's smile faded as she considered that Zedd was probably right. She looked back down at Cara's face, peaceful in her unconscious state. Could she live with herself if Cara survived, only to be a shadow of her former self, her free will obliterated? Or worse, to have pushed herself to do the worst thing she could imagine, for the sake of duty, and to have it amount to nothing? To be back at square one, with less options than when they had started? She let out a heavy sigh, fingers moving to rub the bridge of her nose.
“We'll deal with that problem if and when it comes. For now, Zedd, she's alive. I can't help but rejoice in that.”
Zedd nodded, satisfied that Kahlan was still being realistic. “Why don't you stay with her while I go retrieve Richard. He'll want to know what's happened.” At Kahlan's nod, the wizard gave her one last wary look before turning in the direction Richard went.
Still holding Cara in her arms, Kahlan leaned down to drop a kiss on the blonde's temple, murmuring soft words into her skin.
“Come back to me, Cara.”
Part Two
Author: The Dawn
Pairing: Kahlan/Cara
Rating: PG-13 (May be closer to R in future chapters)
Warnings: Angst abounds. Be warned. Spoilers up to “Unbroken”.
Summary: Kahlan can't let Zedd cast the Spell of Undoing, which leaves only one option: Confession.
Disclaimer: Maybe if they were mine my muse would be more cooperative. As it is, I can only lay claim to my fantasies.
Author's Notes: So, I'm still working on the prequel(s) to "The Wanting of You". I've got a good 3-4 projects in progress right now, and what I've had to start doing is just look at them all and work on/add to whichever one I'm able to at the moment. I started this story, like, ages ago, and it was meant to be a quick little one-shot, but it grew into this little mini-monster. I've written almost through to the end of part 3, and I'm really only guessing that it'll be just one more part after that.
Also, this, like everything else I've done, is unbetaed. Mostly because I've just never had the motivation to seek out a beta. As I've been working on this, though, and my other projects, I've realized it might be helpful to have someone to look over stuff for me. If anyone would be awesome enough to want to do that for me, I'd appreciate it a lot.
Title comes from Sarah McLachlan, “Do What You Have To Do”, which really is kinda the theme song for this story. I didn't include any bits of lyrics because I couldn't pick just a few lines, and I didn't want to post the whole song:P
The Rule of Love 1/4?
Kahlan stood, hands on her hips, watching from a distance while Richard and Zedd bound Cara to the tree. Her heart was crying out against what she knew she would have to do, even as duty steeled her bones and made her hands tingle with power. Not since she was still under her father's power could she remember being so disgusted by her own nature.
“You know what you have to do, Richard. But we both know you don't have the stomach for it.” Cara's mocking words were directed at Richard, but Kahlan's own gut twisted in response. Zedd stepped forward and waved his hand over the captured Mord-Sith, and Kahlan watched with horror as the magic burned its way to the surface of her skin. She was aware of Zedd and Richard talking, but all she heard were Cara's suppressed grunts of pain. The men retreated back toward Kahlan, and she tore her eyes away from Cara as Zedd began to speak.
“We may have to accept the fact that the Cara we know is gone forever.”
Gone forever. Kahlan tried to cling to those words, even as her heart refused to accept them. If she could make herself believe them, it might make this bearable. She tried to concentrate on the conversation, but her eyes kept drifting back to Cara. It had only been a few days since she had been stuck in that valley with Richard, since she'd realized that Richard's feelings for her far exceeded her feelings for him. Sitting with him in the forest, hearing him profess just how much he loved her, had brought only one thing to the forefront of her mind: Cara.
She had ached for Richard, for the knowledge that she would have to break his heart, but a giddiness had filled her as her own feelings became clear to her. She'd been agonizing for weeks over what she felt for the blonde, trying to untangle the mess of emotions: desire, friendship, sisterly affection, all tinged with a stubborn, lingering hatred for the woman who had personally ensured that she would be the last Confessor. It had taken Richard's unbridled declaration of love and devotion to boil all of her feelings down to their simplest form: she loved Cara. With all of her being, against all she had been taught, she loved Cara more than she could imagine loving anyone. And now she would never get the chance to tell her.
“There is one way,” Kahlan's heart jumped to her throat as she locked her gaze on the Wizard, a small flicker of hope igniting in her eyes, “but the results are unpredictable. It's a spell I learned, years ago in the Wizard's Keep, but I've never dared use it. It's called the Spell of Undoing.”
Tears sprung to Kahlan's eyes as her hope was dashed. She couldn't let Zedd perform that spell. The Confessors didn't learn much about wizard magic, it being irrelevant to their studies, but with the Wizard's Keep so close to the Palace, every Confessor had heard rumors of the Spell of Undoing. It had the potential to unravel existence itself, if cast carelessly without thought to every possible ramification. There was too much they didn't know about what had happened to Cara, about the exact nature of the magic used to break her, and they didn't have the luxury of time to find all of the answers.
Kahlan pushed her grief down, locking it away as Richard railed on about not giving up on the Mord-Sith. She braced herself for the argument to come, then placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Richard, no.” Her voice was resigned yet firm, but Richard could feel her hand trembling against him. “It's too dangerous. We can't risk the fate of the world for one woman.”
The Seeker looked at Kahlan in shock. “How can you just give up on her? After everything she's done for us?” He had watched as the two women grew closer, taking pride in being the one to foster friendship between such mortal enemies. He had thought Kahlan cared more than this. The accusation in his voice shook Kahlan's resolve, and she closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to fall.
“Please, Richard. Don't make this harder for me.” Her voice cracked, and her hand tightened on his shoulder as she clutched at every strand of willpower she possessed. “If there were any other way, if we had more time-”
“No!” Richard spat, shaking Kahlan's hand away. “Zedd, do the spell. Now.”
Zedd let out a defeated sigh. “My boy, I'm afraid Kahlan is right. We have to consider more than just ourselves and our own desires in this. The Cara we know would gladly sacrifice her own life to serve you, Richard, and in so doing, serve all of humanity.”
Richard stepped back, his gaze flickering between Zedd, Kahlan, and the woman who had given up everything she had known to help him in his quest. He knew they were right, but it felt like a betrayal of everything he was. How could he stand by and watch as the woman he loved willingly destroyed one of his closest friends?
“I can't.” He said quietly, hanging his head in resignation. Before Zedd or Kahlan could protest, he continued. “I can't watch. If you're going to do this, I can't watch. I'll go keep watch, make sure there aren't any more Mord-Sith lurking around.”
Kahlan watched him walk away, bracing herself for what came next. Ever since the words “I don't know” had escaped Dahlia's lips, she had known what she would have to do. Gathering her strength, she schooled her features into the emotionless mask that was almost second nature to her. Zedd didn't speak, just lay a comforting hand on her shoulder, providing what meager support he could. Taking a deep breath, Kahlan stepped forward, letting the wizard's hand fall back to his side. This was something she would have to do on her own.
As she approached, Kahlan noticed for the first time how much Cara was fidgeting. She'd never seen the Mord-Sith so restless; Cara was always in control of her actions, wasting no energy on excess movement. Now, the tension rolled off of her in waves as she looked anywhere but at the Confessor, her arrogant smirk fading into cold defiance.
Stopping in front of the bound woman, Kahlan reached out and cradled Cara's face in her hands, briefly wondering if the resulting flinch was in anticipation of being confessed, or a reaction to being touched in kindness, rather than anger. Cara was silent, her eyes stubbornly unreadable, but Kahlan searched desperately for some small semblance of the woman she had come to love. She found none.
She couldn't stop herself from leaning in, brushing her lips over the blonde's forehead, then ever-so-softly over Cara's own. The kiss was chaste, more so than she'd given her own sister, but her heart broke at how right it felt, even as Cara's expression remained proudly stoic, refusing to respond. A tear finally escaped down Kahlan's cheek as she moved away, raising her hand to grasp Cara's throat firmly.
“I'm sorry, Cara.” Her voice wavered, but her resolve didn't. Her blue eyes shone with love as they locked onto defiant green, magic swelling up in her as both turned black.
The power slammed through Cara's body, colliding with the dark magic conjured by the Sisters of the Dark. As Kahlan recovered from the use of her powers, she watched in dismay as Cara was immediately wracked with pain. The woman's throat grew so hot it nearly burned her hand, and she snatched it away as Cara convulsed in agony.
Panicked, Kahlan looked back at the wizard. “Zedd, what's happening to her? This isn't how confession works!”
Bewildered, Zedd moved to Kahlan's side. He extended a hand toward Cara, reaching out with his power to try to gauge what was happening. He drew back almost instantly, feeling almost as though he'd stuck his hand in a fire. He could not gather any information this way. He looked down at Kahlan apologetically. “I'm sorry, my dear, I couldn't tell you. It's most likely a reaction between your power and the dark magic used to break her.”
Desperation filled Kahlan as she grasped Cara's shoulders, ignoring the heat as she tried to get the woman to look at her. “Cara! Cara, where is Rahl taking the Stone?”
Cara was barely able to make out Kahlan's voice through the waves of pain engulfing her body. She opened her mouth to respond, but all that came out was an agonized scream. Kahlan watched with horror as magic swirled over the surface of Cara's skin, twisting her nerve endings in varying combinations to elicit as much pain as possible. The ropes binding her to the tree chafed at her as she struggled, finally burning holes in the leather and slashing angry welts across her skin.
Kahlan saw this, and sprang into action, tearing at the knots holding Cara captive. “Zedd, help me!” Warily, Zedd waved his hand, and the blonde collapsed into Kahlan's arms as the bonds were released. She slowly lowered them both to the ground, cradling Cara's body in her lap. Tears were now flowing freely down Kahlan's face as Cara's screams tore through her, guilt wracking her frame as she rocked back and forth, clutching Cara's shaking body to her chest. She'd destroyed the woman she loved, for nothing.
Images flooded her mind, unbidden, of Cara chained in a Mord-Sith temple, Cara writhing in pain as Rahl tried to break her. Of Cara, doing everything in her power to resist, willing to die before serving Rahl again. A bitter taste rose in her mouth as she thought of Darken Rahl. They would find him. Even though Cara couldn't tell them anything, they would find him. And then Kahlan would kill him. Slowly, and painfully. She couldn't confess him, which was unfortunate. Briefly, her mind indulged in fantasies of commanding him to torture himself to death while she watched. It was a pity she would be forced to use her daggers to inflict the torment, but in a way it was more fitting. She would look him in the eyes as she slowly bled the life from his body.
Such thoughts would ordinarily horrify Kahlan, who had been taught for most of her life that violence was nothing more than a necessary evil. Now, the only fault she could find in her plan was that it wouldn't come close to being what the bastard deserved.
Kahlan was so wrapped up in her thoughts of revenge that it took her a few moments to realize that Cara was no longer moving. A sob poured from her lips as she held the limp body tightly to her, murmuring Cara's name through her tears. Feeling a hand on her shoulder, she looked up at Zedd. The pain that radiated from her eyes took the wizard by surprise. He'd known the two women had grown close, but Kahlan looked completely shattered.
“Kahlan, I think it's over.” It broke his heart to say it, to pull Kahlan back into reality, but they couldn't forget their quest. “We need to find Richard and keep moving.”
Kahlan didn't answer him, but lowered the body to the ground, grief warring with duty. Sniffing back tears, she gently ran a hand over Cara's pale cheek, memorizing the softness of her skin. She gasped as a weak breath brushed her wrist. Urgently, she moved her fingers to Cara's throat, finding a faint but steady pulse.
“Zedd, she's alive!” Her voice was overflowing with joy and disbelief as she looked up at the wizard, hope shining in her eyes. “How can that be?”
Zedd was at a loss. “I don't know, child. I've never seen anything like what just happened. I can only guess that somehow the confession canceled out the dark magic, leaving Cara's life intact. I wouldn't have thought that a person's body could withstand such torment.”
A small smile touched Kahlan's lips as her gaze returned to the unconscious woman. “If anyone could, it would be Cara.”
“Kahlan,” Zedd began hesitantly, not wanting to cause the Confessor any more pain, but unable to ignore the obvious conclusion. “If she awakes, it is likely that her mind will still not be her own. Two magics battled within her today; it follows that one of them will have won. Whether she will still be under Rahl's power, or she will be confessed, I cannot say.”
Kahlan's smile faded as she considered that Zedd was probably right. She looked back down at Cara's face, peaceful in her unconscious state. Could she live with herself if Cara survived, only to be a shadow of her former self, her free will obliterated? Or worse, to have pushed herself to do the worst thing she could imagine, for the sake of duty, and to have it amount to nothing? To be back at square one, with less options than when they had started? She let out a heavy sigh, fingers moving to rub the bridge of her nose.
“We'll deal with that problem if and when it comes. For now, Zedd, she's alive. I can't help but rejoice in that.”
Zedd nodded, satisfied that Kahlan was still being realistic. “Why don't you stay with her while I go retrieve Richard. He'll want to know what's happened.” At Kahlan's nod, the wizard gave her one last wary look before turning in the direction Richard went.
Still holding Cara in her arms, Kahlan leaned down to drop a kiss on the blonde's temple, murmuring soft words into her skin.
“Come back to me, Cara.”
Part Two