Crash Into Me -- Pt 1

[lotrspnfangirl]

Title: Crash Into Me
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Word Count: 16,378 words
Summary: All Jensen wants is a fresh start. He didn’t, however, expect to find it in the only other survivor of their bus wreck while stranded in Northern Maine in a blizzard.
Warnings: Near death experience
A/N: Beta’d by oldbatj who is simply fantastic ♥ Any remaining oops are all mine. Written for WIPbigbang and the beautiful art is made by amberdreams. Go see her master post here and leave her love ♥ Feedback fuels the fire!
Disclaimer: This is complete and total fiction.



Jensen stretched out as much as he could in the small, cramped space he had been occupying for the last hour and a half. His elbow slammed into the window beside him and he cursed under his breath, shifting again in the faded bus seat, trying to get comfortable. He heard a soft snort of laughter from the seat across the aisle and he threw a glare in that direction. The man in question had his face turned toward the window, his fingers drumming against his thighs in tune to whatever he had blasting through his headphones.

Whatever… If the man wanted to pretend he hadn’t been laughing at him? Then he wasn’t going to push it. The next stretch, however, he made a point to make sure he didn’t bounce his elbow off the thick glass. He looked at his watch again, the face lighting up to display 3:42AM. He groaned, laying his head back against the seat before trying to get some sleep. The driver certainly was not providing him with the smoothest bus ride he’d ever been on. But at least he hadn’t gotten nauseous on this trip.

He slipped the thin gloves off his hands and laid them in his lap to reach into the worn leather roll bag beside him, digging into the front pocket for his banged up CD player. He threw a glance at the man across from him again, painfully aware of how outdated his own music equipment was, as he slid the headphones over his head. He looked around the bus to see if the driver were the only one other than them who was still awake on this painfully long drive.

Behind him, an older woman was rhythmically clicking away with her knitting needles, completely absorbed in her task. A younger woman all the way in the back of the bus had a small child curled into her lap, both of them asleep. Otherwise - the bus was nearly empty. Jensen wasn’t that upset about it - at least with so few people, it didn’t smell too badly. He laughed to himself and pressed the play button, soon drowning out his thoughts with the thick southern drawl of Toby Keith. Country music, he smiled to himself, was his not so secret pleasure.

He closed his eyes, forcing himself to relax. They still had another three hours before their last station… And even after he stepped off of this bus, he would have another few hours of driving before he reached his final destination. He sighed as the familiar pain started to creep up his legs again from sitting in the same place for too long. Buses were not made to haul around people taller than 5 feet apparently and his 6 foot frame was feeling it. He rotated slightly in the seat and leaned his back against the window, bending his knees and lifting his legs until they were resting in the adjoining seat. The small dig of pain in the backs of his thighs from the armrest could be ignored - at least for a little while.

The window was freezing cold against the back of his head, reminding him of what it looked like outside. He turned his head slightly, taking in the frozen tundra of Northern Maine in the dead of winter. Not for the first time, he wondered if he was making the right call by even being on this bus… Outside, snow was falling softly, everything around them passing by in a soft blur of white.

Although Jensen had grown up in mostly sunny Texas, he understood that snow wasn’t as innocent as it looked. He had never physically been in snow, but had seen enough news coverage and movies to know how destructive and what a pain in the ass it could be. As he watched it fall against the window, sticking for a second before melting and sliding down into a singular drops, he had to admit it was beautiful.

Suddenly the bus lurched to the side, causing Jensen to slam his head hard against the cold glass. He cursed, fighting to get his feet back onto the floor so he could sit upright. He slid his headphones back and looked around. The mother and child in the back were still asleep, and the woman knitting was still focused on her yarns. He looked beside him and saw the other man seemed to be the only other one concerned at the sudden unsettling movement. He had pulled back the black knit beanie on his head, pulling the hair from his eyes.

The bus suddenly swerved again, skidding dangerously on the icy roadway. Jensen gasped as his neighbor’s large, hazel eyes met his, mirroring his confusion and unease. Tearing his eyes away from the stranger across from him, Jensen snapped his attention forward to look at the driver.

“Fuck!” he hissed as he stared up into the large rearview mirror that stretched across the full width of the windshield. The driver’s reflection was usually clearly visible in it, his winter hat pushed low on his forehead, his eyes barely evident beneath the woven rim. Now however, the mirror reflected only an empty leather seat.

“Holy shit!” he cursed and Jensen leaned across the seats, partway into the aisle. Fear pooled in his gut as he watched the bus driver’s body slipping sideways further off of his seat to crumple lifelessly on the floor. The bus continued reeling forward, slipping and sliding along the wintry road. The driver’s foot was probably wedged somehow and still pressing on the accelerator. Without a firm hand on the steering wheel any longer, the bus hurtled recklessly forward. And then it seemed as if they were moving at a downward angle.

Two big hands shoved hard against Jensen’s shoulders, pushing him back into a more upright pose. His eyes flashed upward, meeting hazel eyes once again.

“Seat belt!” the man yelled at him, before tossing himself back into his own seat and fumbling for the sweat-stained, oversized belt caught up beneath the seat. Jensen hesitated for only a moment, looking back up to the windshield, only seeing the blinding white of the snow.

“Now!” the stranger screamed at him.

Jensen nodded, frantically fumbling with the belt and fastener until the metal clip clicked into place and then yanking roughly on the strap to tighten the belt around his middle. Panic washed through him, muffling the sounds of the man yelling at the other passengers until his voice became a dull buzz.

Jensen swallowed hard, gripping the sides of the seat tightly, squeezing his eyes shut. He knew the road they were on was an obstacle course full of twists and turns… Nausea washed over him as he realized there was only one way this was going to end… His stomach gave another sickening lurch as the bus suddenly began to tilt, tires crunching uselessly in the snow and ice, trying to find purchase where there was none. Suddenly the tilting became tipping, and then the bus rolled completely over and over again and again….the startled yells of the wide-awake passengers accompanied by the terrifying sounds of metal screaming, and the popping and small explosions of windows shattering and bursting.

As the tilting had begun his body was forced sideways against the seatbelt’s grip. Jensen felt like a ragdoll being thrown about, arms flailing uncontrollably. The momentum of the bus’s awkward rolling flung his body back into the seat and then hard into the window, which shattered on impact. He opened his mouth, he might have screamed… and then there was silence. Terrible mind-numbing silence…

He looked up, or maybe it was down, but all he saw was black.



“Hey!” The voice was soft, pushing its way into the deepest corners of his mind, sending a blinding pain shooting through his skull. He groaned, trying to open his eyes. His eyelids felt heavy, stuck as if they were sewn shut. “Hey! Buddy! Are you okay? Fuck…” The voice was suddenly replaced by hands, grabbing at his shoulders, ripping at his hips struggling to undo the seatbelt. “Please… don’t be dead…”

Confusion followed the last statement, and he could feel his eyes flutter as he tried to force them open again. Pain shot through his lower back as his body shifted, suddenly free from the belt’s confinement, and large hands grabbed at him again. “Hey!”

“Shit,” Jensen’s voice sounded far away and raspy, his throat burning as he croaked out the single word. His eyes were open in a squint, but he closed them quickly as a bright light blinded him.

“Sorry…” The light moved quickly away, and he opened them again. He was lying on his back, his neck bent awkwardly against the window. Trying to move made him realize his legs were trapped beneath the man from across the aisle. “Can you move?” The light flashed by his face again and Jensen realized the man was using his brightly lit iPod screen to illuminate their area.

“I don’t…” Jensen winced as he tried to shift his body, pain shooting up his back again. “I don’t know…”

“Okay, hold on...” the man murmured, pulling himself up onto part of the seat to look around. “We’re going to have to climb out of the back. I think… Looks like the bus is on its side… I don’t think we can climb out any of these windows…they’re really messed up…” His voice trailed off, reaching down for Jensen’s hand. “Let me try to help you up...”

Jensen was stretched awkwardly between his seat and the one in front of it, his bruised and aching body actually resting on the bus’s side wall. The man’s long legs were stretched along the back and side of the seat Jensen had occupied, bracing himself to pull Jensen up and over. Jensen almost laughed. If he had been pinned in the wreckage… he wondered if this man would have wanted to chop his legs off to free him. He shifted again, ignoring the pain and reached his arm up. The man gripped his forearm with both hands, pulling slowly until Jensen was at least in a sitting position.

“Catch your breath for a bit...” the stranger suggested, looking around again. “I’ll be right back.”

And just like that the man was gone and Jensen could hear him crawling across the jumble of broken and twisted seats towards the front of the bus. Jensen was now sitting in an upright position, but the angle of the bus made his head spin. He looked down at his legs - something had cut his right leg, blood seeping through his jeans. He tried to reach out to check the cut but wasn’t able to move his left arm at all. His left shoulder was killing him and he wasn’t able to lift his arm. He sighed as he vaguely remembered being slammed so hard into the window during the crash that he heard it break... He looked up, listening. The bus was still running, weird hissing sounds coming from the front. The only other sound was the man grunting as he moved around in the bus’s mangled remains.

“Is everyone… okay?” Jensen stammered, not really sure he wanted to know the answer.

“No...” The man was back, perched again on the tangled seats. “We need to get out of here. I’m not sure what’s leaking but most engine fluids are flammable…. I couldn’t get to the ignition and… we just have to go.”

“My shoulder is …dislocated, I think.” Jensen hissed in pain, cocking his head to his left side. “I need it set.”

“Okay...” The stranger nodded, moving swiftly to crouch above Jensen in order to get a firm grip on his left forearm and elbow. Jensen had barely opened his mouth preparing to count to three when without warning the man pulled hard and smooth, popping his shoulder back into place. Jensen’s eyes popped open as he gasped, staring at the man.

“You didn’t even let me count!” he yelled, his voice sounding too loud in the confined space.

“You can yell at me later, let’s go... Now.” The man smirked at him before climbing back up to stabilize his position. “We really don’t have time. Come on.” Jensen glared at him, a smart retort on the tip of his tongue. Instead, he sighed, reaching up to grip the man’s hand. It didn’t matter - he was right. They needed to get out of the damaged vehicle and the sooner the better.

As the unknown stranger started towards the back of the bus, Jensen followed him carefully, watching where he stepped on each of the broken seats. He started to step past the woman who had been knitting. Somehow she had at least been able to get her seat belt on. He leaned over her and then winced before turning away. She hadn’t managed to get her needles put aside in time however, and one was now deeply imbedded in her chest right near her heart, only an inch of the metal still visible. Her unseeing eyes were still open as a thick stream of blood trickled steadily from her mouth. Jensen turned away, scrambling to catch up with the man who was kicking at the emergency handle on the now sideways door at the back of the bus.

“Fucking… piece of… shit…” A grunt followed each frantic kick until finally the metal bar screeched in protest. “Okay. Let’s move. Come here.” The man instructed, shifting over so he was hanging off of the top seats. “And, man… Don’t look down.”

Sadly shaking his head, the stranger’s sorrowful eyes met Jensen’s questioning ones.

Jensen simply nodded in understanding, realizing that the young woman and her little son were probably crumpled beneath him down between the jumbled seats. Jensen nodded, moving his legs forward and pressing his feet firmly against the door. Planting his hands on the seat behind him he prepared to leverage all of his weight to push his feet against the jammed door.

He grimaced as pain shot through his shoulder but waited for the man’s say so before he pushed as hard as he could against the door.

“Okay,” his rescuer murmured. “Push together... 1… 2… 3… Now.”

Slowly, with a loud metallic squeal, the door pushed open, scraping a path through the snow.

As Jensen stepped out, fat, wet snow flakes fell against his cheeks and melted on his skin. He shivered once, taking a deep breath as he stumbled away from the bus. Suddenly, it was all too overwhelming. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest and he gasped huge gulps of air and he fell to his knees, hands sinking into the frozen fluff. When a hand grabbed his shoulder he lost it completely. His stomach rolled and he pitched forward, vomiting violently into the snow. The hand on his shoulder moved lower, rubbing comforting circles into his jacket back. When he stomach was finally empty, he collapsed, rolling onto his side away from his mess.

“Hey, we’re going to be okay.” The man crouched down beside him, looking at their surroundings. “We have to find the road again. Follow it. Head back to one of the towns we passed.”

“I don’t even know where the fuck we are,” Jensen hissed, his voice cracking. He closed his eyes, melting snow running down the contours of his face.

“Come on, man. Up and at ‘em.”

“It’s Jensen.” Jensen opened his eyes again, seeing the man’s outstretched hand, now encased in gloves of his own, waiting to help him stand.

“Jared,” the man replied, helping Jensen to his feet. “It looks like the bus slid off the road from over there.” He nodded his head behind them. “How’s your shoulder? Everything else okay?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Jensen nodded, wrapping his arms around himself. “I have a cut on my leg...” He shifted his weight on his feet. “It’s okay though, I’m pretty sure...”

“Once we get away from here, I’ll take a look at it.” Jared said, turning back to look at the bus. The front of it was smoking and hissing. Jared sighed. “It’s tipped on the storage hatch. I hope you didn’t have anything important in your luggage… I got this for you,” he reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a hat that Jensen immediately recognized as the one that belonged to the driver. His stomach rolled again, threatening him at the thought. “Are you ready?” Jared asked, pulling his gaze away from the bus and starting up the hill. Jensen sighed, pulling the hat onto his head and over his freezing cold ears. He forced himself to ignore his awareness of the previous owner as he pushed himself after Jared.

The snow was up almost to their knees, and the backs of Jensen’s calves were burning within minutes. The blood on his jeans had frozen the denim against his skin, and it ripped loose every time he bent his knee. He looked up at Jared, plunging along before him. The other man’s shoulders were heaving, and Jensen was glad he wasn’t the only one tiring as they trudged through the deep snow.

“Shouldn’t we be at the road by now?” Jensen called out. The wind had picked up considerably, whipping snow at their faces. His face was stinging, cheeks and lips burning. Jared paused, waiting for Jensen to catch up to him.

“See over there?” Jared pointed ahead of them, to the left. “It looks like we were sliding down this hill for a while. I’m assuming that when the bus tipped we must have hit something buried underneath the snow.” Jensen’s eyes followed the direction his fingers were pointing, squinting against the flurry of snow.

“So… how much further?” he wondered quietly, looking up at Jared, afraid the big guy might think he was whining.

“I… don’t know.” Jared’s voice sounded hesitant and a bit worried, his calm, strong exterior finally faltering. For some reason, this comforted Jensen more than Jared having a plan. It made him… human.

Jensen looked down at his watch, the face lighting up to display 6:02AM. They had been outside for at least an hour, trudging doggedly up this giant hill. Through it all, Jensen was sore, he was cold, his head was pounding and his mouth was dry. His knee was throbbing and felt just as frozen as his fingertips. He lifted his gaze skyward; above them the snowy night sky was starting to turn a dull, dark grey. At least the sun was starting to rise… somewhere…

“I’m really cold,” Jensen sighed, eyes snapping back to Jared. “Do you think we can make it up the rest of this hill?” Before them, the hill appeared to steepen and Jensen could see the shine of treacherous patches of ice peeking through the fresh snow.

Jared looked up making a quick calculation as he took another step before stopping again. “No,” he said after a few moments, rubbing his beanie around on his head. “But I think the hill had just started… maybe if we cross over in that direction, we can meet the road without having to go all the way up a hill.” Jensen nodded and then started following the man as he headed off in the new direction.

“How are you?” Jensen asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Peachy.” Jared said, giving him a tight smile. “I’m actually freaking out a bit.”

“Really?” Jensen asked, surprised. “Well, you’re not showing it.”

“Thanks.” Jared laughed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I can’t believe I didn’t take any of my warm snow gear out of my bags and drag it with me onto the bus. We are traveling in the middle of Maine in February after all.”

“Yeah… well, that’s where my good stuff is too... in my suitcase along with a nice warm, down-filled vest… back at the bus… in the storage compartment.” Jensen offered ruefully.

Jared nodded once more. “Yeah…. My hooded parka too...”

They fell into silence again, though it was comfortable. As comfortable as freezing to death could be. Before he could stop it the thought ran through Jensen’s mind like a trickle of ice water and a fresh fear settled in his stomach once again. Swallowing hard, Jensen’s voice quavered a bit, “Do you think…”

“No.” Jared shot him a serious look, studying his face. “We’re going to be fine.”

Jensen nodded slowly. Weariness was settling deep in his legs and hips, making his motions painful and strained.

Jared stopped again, glancing down at Jensen’s thin gloves before looking around them. “We need to get a fire started.” Jared grabbed Jensen’s arm lightly, tugging him in the direction he wanted to go. “The trees are a bit tighter over here… hopefully that will mean less snow and less wind for us.” Jensen followed him, confused when Jared stopped before a tree, a huge smile on his face.

“White birch!” Jared laughed, reaching out to rip a wide strip of bark off of the tree. He turned to look at Jensen. “Even if it’s wet… birch bark will burn. Although…Technically it’s illegal to rip it off.” He stared at the bark in his hand for a moment before shrugging. “I’m sure our wilderness survival will be a good defense if a warden says anything ever.”

“Do you get lost in the woods often?” Jensen asked, reaching up himself to pull a wide strip off the tall tree and then assisting Jared with harvesting two huge handfuls of some smaller strips to use for kindling.

“No, I’m a logger,” Jared said, moving forward to a small sheltered area between a several, large pine trees. He used his boot to kick a circular patch of snow away, revealing the frozen thatch of pine needles covering the forest floor.

“A logger? Like, what? A Paul Bunyan kind of Lumberjack?” Jensen barked out in surprise.

Jared snorted, throwing Jensen a look. “I suppose. I own my own logging company and provide lumber for contractors. I’m looking to expand up in Oxbow.”

“Oh… Your own company? That’s pretty neat,” Jensen said, impressed. Jared smiled at him and knelt down, ripping a large bark strip into smaller chunks. Jensen forced himself to kneel down, trying not to wince as his knee screamed out and a fresh wave of nausea rolled through him.

“Jensen?!” Jared called out, his voice suddenly anxious. “Hold on, Jensen.” Jensen tried to nod, his head suddenly feeling lopsided and too heavy. He was so tired, and sitting felt so good… He could feel himself slipping, his legs folding beneath him. When his sore shoulder hit the ground, it didn’t even hurt.



“Mmm…” Jensen moaned, relishing the burning sensation in his fingers. He felt comfy and sleepy, and was pressed up against something soft and warm.

“Jensen? Are you with me?” Jensen tried to blink, the burning feeling in his fingers becoming suddenly painful, as sharp twinges worked their way up to his palms. “Jensen, come on… Jensen, talk to me.”

“Ja-Jared?” he whispered, forcing his eyes open. He blinked a few times, eyes burning against the blazing white that flooded his vision. Everything was white…

“Yeah, Jensen, it’s me... Fuck, you had me worried.” Jared’s voice came from behind him and Jensen blinked again, fighting against the white to get his bearings. Jared’s arms were wrapped around him, his hands rubbing Jensen’s to keep up the circulation, to keep them warm.

“You passed out,” Jared continued, tucking Jensen’s left hand inside Jensen’s jacket and picking up the other one. “I got a fire started, but you were so cold…”

“I…” Jensen stopped, sinking back into the warmth. It was then he realized he was between Jared’s legs, back pressed against Jared’s chest and Jared’s coat was unzipped and wrapped around them both tightly. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“You don’t need to thank me,” Jared said, finally content with the way Jensen’s fingers were pinking up and tucking them against Jensen’s chest. He wrapped his arms firmly around Jensen, holding their bodies even closer together. “Just don’t fucking pass out again. I… I don’t want to be alone.”

Jensen felt a pang in his chest, the tone in Jared’s voice giving away just how scared he was. Jensen swallowed hard, tightening his own grip around his chest. There was a small fire crackling beside them, Jensen saw the curls of bark and pine needles, flaming red before darkening and falling to ash. It looked like Jared had found some fallen pine branches and was slowly adding pieces of those as needed. It felt like heaven after their freezing trek. He let himself relax into Jared, their breathing matching as they stared at the fire together.



It was funny, really, how he found himself here like this. He watched as a large chunk of the birch bark curled up on itself, cracking and bubbling in the heat as it was slowly consumed by the fire. He swallowed hard as he watched the flame rip through it and then closed his eyes.

Three months ago, Jensen had walked in on his boyfriend screwing his own boss in their house...in Jensen’s bed. What Jensen had thought would be a romantic and early start to their anniversary weekend ended up with him homeless, jobless and single. Together, they had begun to build a life and as Jensen’s world came crumbling down around him, he realized that he hadn’t been happy for a long time. His life hadn’t been anything like he had imagined, not really. So, he had packed what little he had left and bought himself a one way bus ticket up North.

His parents hadn’t been thrilled that he had chosen Maine as his getaway. He told them he liked Maine… but in reality? He had simply pulled up Craig’s List, closed his eyes, and clicked on a random state to look for a job. And now, here he was, in the middle of the woods, waist deep in snow, pressed against a man that he very well might die with.

He was just like that piece of bark, living life one day at a time until life came along and lit him aflame. A laugh bubbled out of him and he felt Jared stiffen behind him. Pain shot through his leg again and he had to admit even that didn’t hurt as much as walking in on his boyfriend…

“Jensen?”

“I’m fine… Just thinking... I’m just… life, you know?” He took in a deep breath, the cool air sharp against his throat. He swallowed, tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth. “When I got onto that bus I didn’t expect to be surviving a crash and being stranded in the middle of nowhere surrounded by frozen tundra with a hot man keeping my fingers from falling off.”

“You think I’m hot?” Jared tipped his head, his breath ghosting over Jensen’s cheek and making him shiver.

“I think it’s the hypothermia talking.”

“That’s not funny, don’t even say that...” Jared hissed, the anger in his voice making Jensen jump. “Fuck,” the big man swore. The wind had picked up again, snow whipping down upon them through the sparse covering from the treetops. “We need to find a better shelter, a warmer spot.”

“I think we’re going to die out here, Jared...” It was a simple emotionless statement.

Jared’s sharp intake of breath was the only response he got before they fell back into silence. They weren’t stupid… although Jensen was the one with the bleeding gash on his leg, Jensen had seen the way Jared carried himself through the snow, gripping his ribs with a grimace of pain on his face. They were both hurt, they were both freezing.

“It’s not going to happen. I won’t let it.” Jared said finally, moving to disentangle them from one another. “Come on, we need to keep moving. No one is going to find us here and our tracks are completely covered up from the snow. We need to see if we can find the road or better shelter for a while.”

“You really think we should keep moving?” Jensen asked, letting Jared grip his arms to pull him into a standing position. His shoulder and knee were screaming at him and he wished the cold would numb the pain instead of his fingers and toes.

“I…” Jared bit his lower lip, closing his eyes. “We need shelter. We need fire. We probably need water…”

“Jared, there’s snow all around us!” Jensen reached down to pick up a handful, the fluffy crystals barely registering against his numb digits.

“Okay, we will stick close to the tree line in case we need to stop again. I still think if we head in this direction,” Jared pointed before them, to the right of where the bus had crashed. At least, Jensen thought it was to the right… the rolling white hills and tree line looked the same no matter which direction he looked. “We have a better chance of finding the road. We should eat some of the snow… We don’t need to add dehydration into the mix. Just not too much though, because it will lower our body temps.”

Jensen nodded, sucking some of the snow off his hand. It melted quickly on his tongue, and though it was cold, it felt good as it slipped down his throat. He wiped his wet hand on his jeans before slipping on the thin gloves again and watched as Jared copied his motions. They walked side by side, fighting their way through the snow once again. They walked close together and after stumbling a few times, Jensen allowed Jared to wrap his arm around his shoulders, half holding himself up as well as Jensen.

Jensen couldn’t see anything - the bus was long gone behind them, and if he turned to look down, their footsteps were already disappearing. Part of him hoped that over the next rise they would be faced with the road. The other part of him knew that they should have already reached the road. He tried to push that last part away.

“Jensen!” Jared’s gasp made him stop short, whipping his head to the side to make sure Jared was okay. The other man’s fringe of hair had escaped his beanie and was hanging in thick frozen strands like icicles, his cheeks and nose bright red. If Jensen squinted he could even see frozen flakes on Jared’s long lashes. What he didn’t expect to see was Jared’s beaming smile, perfectly displaying his white teeth, “Look!”

Jensen followed his outstretched hand, blinking into the snow. He could just barely make out a large shadowy form in between the trees.

“What--?” He shook his head, peering back at Jared. He had no idea what was so exciting.

“Come on!” Jared pushed him gently and started off towards the patch of tall trees. “I bet you there’s a cave or something along here…” His voice was soft, most of the sound carried off by the whistling of the wind. Jensen squinted again, trying to see what Jared saw.

As they got closer, the form began to take shape. Although most of it was covered in snow, large grey rock faces were showing through the snow drifts, thick icicles dripping down them. Jensen stared at them, amazed. They almost looked like a waterfall, frozen mid-flow as the water went pouring downward to crash onto the earth below.

“C’mon!” Jared cried triumphantly. Jensen turned to Jared, not hiding the surprise on his face. “There’re plenty of caves and crevices in the rock formations up in this part of the state.” Jared smiled, tugging them forward. He peered around one column of ice, the formation as thick as Jensen’s own body was, to see a rather narrow vertical opening naturally carved into the rocky face.

“Aren’t there… bears… or something?” Jensen suggested timidly, his knowledge was limited on the Northeastern part of the country.

Jared gave him a disbelieving look before crouching down on the ground to peer into the crack.

“I think it should be big enough…” he muttered thoughtfully, poking his head through the opening. “And it should keep the snow off of us.” The ‘hole’ in the gray rock wall was little more than four feet in height. It was narrow at the top though it widened irregularly to about seven feet at the bottom and appeared to extend about eight feet into the rock formation. Jensen tried to hide his disappointment - this was definitely not a cave. Jared, however, was ecstatic. “We probably can’t build a fire inside with us, but if we make one at the entrance, it might heat up the rocks enough…” Jensen watched as Jared’s upper torso disappeared into the hole. He was still talking, his words muffled.

When he pulled back out, he dragged a large handful of dry leaves with him. “Okay, you stay here and I’ll get some wood.” He pushed himself upright and trudged back the way they had come to the last large group of trees they’d passed.

As Jared moved towards the tree line Jensen decided to show Jared he could contribute, even if it was only in small ways. He busied himself trying to shape the leaves into a somewhat reasonable looking pile. Finding some broken pieces of the gray stone he built a small, semi-circular windbreak to protect the leaves from the encroaching wind. He even managed to capture several additional handfuls of leaves and pine needles from their small shelter’s floor. Peeling his thin gloves off when the trembling of his fingers ended up inhibiting his grip on the leaves, he worked clumsily but as quickly as possible. Looking down at the pale blueish flesh on his fingers, Jensen tried not to think about how he couldn’t even feel them anymore.

With a jubilant whoop, Jared reappeared nearly twenty minutes later, lugging several large pine boughs awkwardly behind him, their thick needles sweeping gracefully across the snow. He immediately began tearing up more of the new birch bark he’d collected and starting to snap twigs and branches off the larger boughs. He built a small teepee shape, shoving some white birch curls underneath the triangle. From his back pocket he produced a book of matches. Jensen watched as Jared’s pulled off his gloves, his fingers shaking just as violently as his own had as Jared struggled to get a match to ignite. Jared released an excited cry when a flame erupted from the tip and Jensen tried to feel excited too.

Jensen couldn’t stop the feeling of dread that was coiling tightly in his gut. Jared was hunched over, working hard to get the fire going and whispering encouragement to the small flame before blowing gently so the tiny flame could kiss against the dried leaves. Jensen didn’t know how Jared even had it in him… all he wanted to do was curl up and sleep… snow and ice and cold be damned. He glanced at his watch, 5:25PM, and knew the little daylight they had been graced with would be leaving them in darkness again. It had been 12 hours.

12 hours in this mind-numbing cold.

They hadn’t found the road. The small crevice in a freezing, cold stone wall was not really shelter. The fire Jared had going was small, and although it was warm, it wouldn’t last. They were lost… they were frozen...they were hungry and thirsty. Jensen swallowed hard. They were going to die out here.

“Stop! Just stop thinking negative thoughts for a few moments!” Jared glared at him from the ground where he’d knelt to completely tear apart the large boughs. With a tired sigh Jensen shook his head as if to clear the thoughts away and wearily moved closer to help the tall man. Soon Jared and Jensen were working together to stack up all of the now smaller branches close to the entrance, not only to have them near the fire for easy feeding but also as a windbreak for their shelter and to help trap the fire’s warmth in the small area surrounding the mouth of the mini-cave. Jared hung his discarded, damp gloves and his wet beanie on some of the branches, close enough to the fire to hopefully dry them. Wordlessly, Jensen handed his own over and shoved his cold, bare hands under his arm pits. When Jared finally spoke again, his tired eyes were hard. “I can hear you thinking from over here. You need to stay focused, Jensen. Stay positive.”

“How?” Jensen sighed, defeated. “How can I stay positive? How the fuck is any of this shit positive?”

“Just…” Jared sighed, pushing the frozen locks of his hair out of his face. “Let me see your jacket.”

“What?” Jensen asked, confused. Jared’s fingers were fumbling with his own zipper, fighting to get his own jacket off. “Are you crazy?”

“Well…” Jared’s attempt at a joke fell short. “Just…Trust me… please?”

Jensen closed his eyes. Trust me. Jensen didn’t know what that even meant anymore. The last time he had trusted someone, it had blown up in his face. Except… He opened his eyes, meeting Jared’s and reached up to unzip his old Army coat. His ‘ex’ wasn’t the last person he had trusted, he had trusted Jared the moment he had stepped away from the wrecked bus and followed him out into the cold.

“Why?” He asked, handing over his jacket. A shiver ran through him as the freezing cold air hit his upper body.

“One sec…” Jared muttered, working quickly to match their jacket zippers together. Soon he was tugging Jensen’s zipper pull upward fastening Jared’s jacket to Jensen’s. “Okay, I think we should take off our shirts too, we can lay them under us as an extra layer. I don’t think there’s enough leaves…” Jensen blinked as Jared pulled his thick, thermal shirt over his head, dropping back down to all fours to spread it out flat inside their shelter.

Maybe Jared was crazy. Jensen sighed, pulling his own long-sleeved, Henley off and handing it to Jared who in turn shoved one side of their “double jacket” over Jensen’s bare shoulders.

“Keep the edges up so we can zip it around us. It’ll be like a shorty version of a two-man sleeping bag. Go ahead climb in and I’ll come in beside you.”

Jensen nodded, crawling carefully backwards through the crack. His shoulder slammed into a small jut of rock and he winced as the pain rocked through him. Jared screwed up his face at seeing Jensen’s expression and warned him to be careful of his head. Moving slower, Jensen managed to get himself completely inside the cavity, glad the bottom of the little cave stayed just a wide in the back as it did at the front.

“Scoot over,” Jared called, turning his body around so he could wiggle in beside Jensen. They struggled with their makeshift “sleeping bag” to pull it around them both. Once Jared was settled, he finagled himself around so he was able to zip the coats up completely. “Sharing body heat should keep us warmer.” Jared broke the silence when Jensen flinched as Jared wrapped a cool arm around his naked torso.

“Yeah. I’ll take anything that can keep us warmer at this point.” He shifted slightly, the jackets constricting their movements. Although there was a rock digging painfully into his hip, and he could feel the cut on his leg and his shoulder was throbbing, Jensen felt himself relaxing and was actually more comfortable and even warmer pressed up against Jared. Maybe that was just the cold talking and the relief of finally being off of his feet.

“So… any girlfriend I’m going to make jealous when they find out I had you half-naked?” Jared’s soft chuckle rolled through him.

“I… recently ended a relationship. He... I caught him cheating on me and it ended up costing me everything.”

“I’m sorry Jensen… that’s pretty shitty...” Jared murmured softly, tightening his hold around Jensen’s body. “Relationships are a joke. They never work. People aren’t meant to fully depend on another person, they’re not meant to partner off. People use each other for personal gain, for survival, and that’s okay. Otherwise? We’re just kidding ourselves. The idea that there’s one perfect person out there… Please... That one perfect person will screw the neighbor or fall out of love with you the moment you let your guard down.”

“I take it you were burned before?” Jensen asked, finding Jared’s hand on his stomach and rubbing it between his two hands, warming it like Jared had done for him that morning. He felt a shiver go through Jared’s body at the contact and Jensen himself was already feeling warmer.

“No,” Jared replied calmly. “I’ve never let anything get that far. I watched my parents’ marriage fall apart when I was a kid, my older brother and sister both go through their own heart breaks… friends and family and I can’t tell you one relationship I’ve seen that has lasted for any real length of time or been really happy. I mean, your ‘ex’ was a douche, but that’s how it goes. People cheat and lie and move on.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s not worth it…” Jensen let his hands fall still, gripping onto Jared tightly. “I think not even trying…? That would be probably really lonely.”

“Just because I don’t have romantic relationships doesn’t mean I don’t have friends,” Jared chuckled again, the vibrations rippling through Jensen as the sound washed over him in their small space. “I have companionship; people that I know will have my back and sometimes I can score great sex with no attachments.”

“But don’t you ever feel like you really want to get to know someone?” Jensen asked, shaking his head. “I mean, out of all those people, no one has ever piqued your interest enough to… to want something more?”

Jensen could feel the rise and fall of Jared’s chest against his back and he could practically feel the tension radiating off of him. He opened his mouth, about to apologize if he had crossed any lines, when Jared spoke.

“Once,” he said softly, fingers dancing in circles along Jensen’s stomach. “I never made a move though.”

“Why not?” Jensen asked, just as softly, closing his eyes and focusing on the feeling of the pads of Jared’s fingertips ghosting across his skin.

“I… I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to or not.” Jared said finally, hands stilling. Jensen was surprised at how warm his skin felt where Jared touched it, and he moved his hand to cover Jared’s giving it a small squeeze.

“Do you regret it?” he whispered, tracing his fingers up and down Jared’s own, feeling the other man shiver behind him. Jared tightened his hold, moving them closer together in their jacket cocoon.

“The right time never presented itself, you know?” Jared shifted so his breath was hot against Jensen’s ear, a few stray strands of damp hair falling against Jensen’s cheek and neck. “Maybe one day the time will be right.”

Jensen could feel Jared’s heartbeat racing against his back and it sent his own mind into overdrive. He closed his eyes and let himself be surrounded by Jared - his warmth, his body, his arms. There was a very real possibility they weren’t going to make it out of this. His entire body ached and his head was spinning slightly - from blood loss, lack of food or dehydration, he wasn’t sure.

What he was sure of was Jared’s palm, pressed flat against his stomach, grounding him and the chill that was seeping through to their bones from the rock walls encasing them. He was sure that he was bone-tired and exhausted, battered and broken in more ways than physical. And he was sure, that in some strange twist of fate, he knew what Jared had yet to say.

He moved his hand up Jared’s arm, fingers digging into Jared’s well-muscled shoulder and giving him the leverage he needed to turn. His body was twisted awkwardly, his shoulder screamed in protest, but when his lips met Jared’s it all fell away.

Jared was warm, soft and alive. Jensen couldn’t get enough. A small sound escaped from his throat as Jared twisted them around, freeing Jensen’s arm from the strange angle it was at to press him flat against the ground, leaning his own body over Jensen’s, careful not to push against any of Jensen’s injuries.

Jensen gave him permission when he turned around and pressed their lips together, and he was satisfied when Jared took control of the kiss. The kiss was soft but demanding as Jared’s teeth scraped against Jensen’s bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth. Jensen groaned, hands clutching at Jared’s back, holding them even closer together.

Jared took his time licking into Jensen’s mouth, exploring and tasting.

Jensen kissed Jared back with everything he had, chasing away the fears of their situation with the wet heat of Jared’s mouth. Part of Jensen wanted to crawl inside of Jared and never, ever leave. This small cave could be their new reality… it could be just the two of them, just like this.

Never, in all the years he had spent with his ex, had he ever been kissed like this. The space between them was suddenly too wide, the air surrounding them too hot, and Jensen never wanted to leave.

“Jared,” he whispered, crushing their lips together once again. His hands trailed down Jared’s back, muscles shifting under his touch. Jared made a pained noise and pulled back, pushing on the back of the jacket to roll them slightly so they were on their sides, facing one another.

“Not like this, Jensen,” Jared whispered, leaning forward to kiss him softly before wrapping his arms around his back and holding him close.

“Why?” Jensen asked, breathing hard. He leaned his head against Jared’s chest allowing himself to be pulled in closer. Jared’s heartbeat was echoing beneath his ear and Jensen let his eyes fall closed. When Jared spoke again, his voice sounded strained and Jensen peered up at him.

“We’re not going to do this here… not now. We’re not giving up, Jensen, okay? When we get out of this, have had a warm shower and some good food? Then we will... Not here, not in this stupid cave, waiting to… to…” Jared shook his head firmly, refusing to speak ‘that word’ and kissed Jensen’s forehead gently.

Pausing for a few moments to catch a few calming breaths, Jared looked down and then deeply into Jensen’s eyes. “I swear to you we’re going to be okay. We are getting out of this.” With a sigh he began to wiggle his right arm against the jackets’ fabric, “Um… hey, I guess I’ll need to slide one of my arms into a coat-sleeve though, so I can continue to feed the fire once in a while, okay?”

After Jensen had helped him to do so, Jared reached out to stoke the fire once more and get a good amount of heat generated. Turning to Jensen with a soft smile and a sweet kiss on the lips, he murmured gently, “I meant what I said, Jen. We’re going to make it out of this alive… Get some sleep. I’ll keep an eye out. Keep the home fires burning.”

Continue to Part Two...