How can it be that 30 seems young, and yet 19 seems old? Maybe it's because I have no one of my own age around, but... I still feel as though my birthday next month will mark another year that I have failed at everything. *sigh* I shouldn't feel this way, I am with J. Yet I do... Life feels as though it is passing me by so swiftly, with no hope of ( Read more... )

I am scared shitless that we won't have enough money to buy anything, once we move. Plus... My first birthday out here is going to suck, because it's on thanksgiving and all his family will be here. Bleh. Bleh I say!

So fucking frustrated. Why can't we just not get fucked for once? I want that condo so fucking bad, and it was going to be home. We belonged there. And still we get fucked. -__- I just want things to work out, y'know ( Read more... )

I barely feel like a fucking person. -_-

-Lost

I'm stressed the fuck out. I don't know what's happening with the condo, I don't know what's happening with therapy, I don't even know what's going on with ME, and I'm just... wiggy. I need me and him to sit down and talk and make a budget. And stick to it. He knows I can't handle having things up in the air, I don't even mind if you change your ( Read more... )

This is bloody ridiculous. Can't someone else just TELL me what to do, for once? Just... Tell me you're making a therapist appointment. Tell me I am going. Drag my ass there. Glare if I attempt to bolt. Is that so hard, love?

-Lost

Life is only temporary. This scares me, but in some ways makes me glad. But as soon as I think that's a good thing... I think of all the things I've already missed, and all the things I will miss in the future. I will never get a chance to try pot. Never listen to a lot of music. I will miss a lot of movies, and a ton of friendships. I'm never ( Read more... )

I'm frustrated. J and I agreed I should go to therapy (we're gonna look on the 16th) but... I don't know if it will help. It seems like a waste of money, really. What are they gonna do, tell me hallucinations are bad? Whee. I've been stuck on this healing shit for a month. I don't know where to go, that's why I want a therapist. But they just.. let ( Read more... )

( Pictures of my new computer! )

...Do I have friends anymore, really? '89 doesn't talk to me. J isn't my friend anymore. E is wrapped up. I think maybe I bored Poe to death... *sigh*
There will be a lot of pictures tomorrow, because I'll be building my computer. That's all.

-Lost