"Darkest Before Dawn" Chapter 4/8 (B/G)

[lorelei_frolick]

Wow. I spent waaaaaay too long working on this. I have an essay and a creative writing assignment to work on. But no, I spent the past couple of days working on this chapter.

Please comment extensively so that I don't feel like it was a waste of time. I am in dire need of validation. Thank you.

I could have broken it up into smaller chapters, I

Comments

[blueanddollsome]

Aw, Riley! I *heart* Riley. He's such a teddy bear! I love that you don't put him down in any way, unlike so many fics that ship Buffy/notRiley.

I *heart* Willow in this chapter too. The dialogue you write for her is fantastic, so Willowy. I love "Spelltacular" and the whole "Trouble!" riff.

Nice use of the dream.

The scene with Buffy!Faith was interesting. Giles still wants to be with her.

I like how the tension keeps building between Buffy and Giles. And seeing Giles get angry. That's fun. :)

Marvelous use of Jonathan! You got Superstar!Jonathan down perfectly! And I love the line "And don't you go feeling guilty about that now, either." Hee! He knows Giles so well.

Ha. Giles doesn't give Spike a chance to bug him. But then he's sad and depressed anyways. :(

I LOVE the confrontation between Buffy and Giles. I like how neither of them is made out to be the bad guy, you totally see where both of them are coming from.

You get everyone's voices so spot-on, I can hear every line like it was delivered by the actors.

[lorelei_frolick]

Thank you so much! Your comments made me feel so happy! :)

I hate fic that puts Riley down. Riley was the perfect boyfriend. That's how he should be portrayed. Especially season 4 Riley.

I'm starting to be rather fond of Willow myself. I wasn't sure about the "Trouble" riff, I thought it might not be in-character, but it was so much fun I decided to go with it.

"The scene with Buffy!Faith was interesting."
Oh. I was aiming for "kinda hot," but "interesting" is good too.

"Giles still wants to be with her."
Well yeah. That's why there's still story to tell.

So very glad to hear that the tension was actually tense, and that it did in fact build. Also that Superstar!Jonathan worked. That scene was fun to write.

Glad to hear you liked the confrontation, and that you can see where both of them are coming from. I was worried about Buffy's pov not quite being clear since we haven't had as much story from her perspective.

"You get everyone's voices so spot-on, I can hear every line like it was delivered by the actors." Wow.

[strawberrytatoo]

Noooo! Giles, don't leave!

*sniffs*

I want to hate Buffy for being such a bitch, but I can't. She's hurting too. And Giles, poor poor Giles. I was so glad he finally got mad back at her. That scene between them was wonderful!

I also have to say, the timing of this fic is very very clever, and you're totally using the plot in the show to your advantage here.

*g*

[lorelei_frolick]

Glad you can't hate Buffy. I wanted her point of view to be understandable and sympathetic too. Maybe she will be in the next part, which will be from more of her pov than this chapter, which was mostly from Giles'. I don't even consider Buffy's behaviour here to be bitchy, actually. She's being irrational, yeah, but she's also coping with pretty bad guilt and depression. I think maybe I was too oblique about that.

The confrontation scene was fun to write. Confrontations always are.

I like to tie in my fic as closely as possible with canon, hence the using of canon plot points.

Thanks for reading, and for the feedback! :)

[antennapedia]

The angst: it is cranked to 11!

[lorelei_frolick]

I have fun with the angst.

[nutterbudgie]

hurrah for 'sagelike' jonathan! well, i suppose it's a good sign if she's not hitting him as hard as she can.
heh, any port in an angst storm. :D

[lorelei_frolick]

Jonathan is so much fun.

"i suppose it's a good sign if she's not hitting him as hard as she can."
Actually I was hoping it would be implied that it was because she was so distraught. She was shaking, so her punching isn't really the best it can be.

Thanks for reading! :)