What's To Come Is Still Unsure (7/16?)
Title: What's to Come is still Unsure (7/16?)
Author: lorelaisquared
Rating: PG-13
Characters: TenII, Rose, Jackie
Word Count: 2894
Beta: The incredible cookie2697
Summary: Part One in an epic love story spanning time and space: When the Doctor abandons Rose in Pete's world with his counterpart, they must learn to live without him. Slowly they build a life together that is filled with love, adventure, danger, and more surprises than either had ever thought possible.
Warning: After a few chapters of fluff, the angst is back...
Authors Note: FYI: If you're curious about how this, or any other chapter or story I've written came to be, comment on this post and I will write a DVD style commentary for the story or chapter you've chosen.
As always, thank you to the people who helped me bring this story to life: cookie2697, tardismate, gioiamia, rumpelsnorcack, meremoon and earlgreytea68 *massive hugs to you all*
The title of this story comes from a line of a song in Shakespeares "Twelfth Night" commonly called "O Mistress Mine".
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6,
Chapter 7
After their viewing of Romeo and Juliet, the Doctor noticed a shift in Rose. She seemed more serious and somehow sadder. He tried to cheer her up by taking her to Vartiter to show her the fields of butterfly people, but when that didn’t work; he realized it was time to take Rose home for a visit. He knew Rose missed her family and he hoped that perhaps Jackie would be able to cheer her up.
Rose brightened considerably when he told her where they were and he knew he'd made the right choice.
"Mum?" Rose shouted, "We're back!"
The pounding of little feet filled the air, and Tony tore around the corner, a huge grin on his face.
"Rose! Rose!" he shouted, lunging himself in her arms with that complete trust children have that the people they love will always catch them.
Rose hugged him, cradling the little boy to her chest. "Oh, Tony, I've missed you."
"I missed you too, Rose." He planted a wet, sloppy kiss on her cheek. "Guess what! Guess what?" he told her as she set him back on the floor. "We went to Aruba and I saw a dolphin. It jumped thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis high." He stood on his tiptoes with his hand high above his head to demonstrate.
"Wow!" Rose exclaimed, taking his hand as they began to walk down the hall. Tony reached up and grabbed the Doctor's hand too. While they walked, he used their arms to help him swing back and forth. The Doctor smiled down at Tony, lifting his arm slightly to allow Tony to swing faster, higher. The sight made Rose's heart tighten in her chest. He was going to be such a good father one day.
The trio entered the living room, and Jackie screeched, streaking toward them with a joyful cry of, "You're back!"
Rose laughed and squeezed her mother back. "We are!"
"I missed you, both." At the Doctor's shocked expression, Jackie laughed and moved to the Doctor, hugging him too, the mortified expression on his face causing Rose to giggle. "Yes, I missed you too, you goof."
The Doctor patted Jackie on the shoulder awkwardly, until she finally released him and turned back to Rose. "Let's go put the kettle on and have a cuppa while I tell you all about the month we've had. You wouldn't believe everything that's happened."
The Doctor shook his head, bemused as he watched the two women wander into the kitchen, chattering excitedly. He looked down at Tony who was now tugging on his hand to get his attention.
"Have you ever seen a dolphin?" he asked the Doctor.
The Doctor nodded solemnly. "I have. Not quite the same though, they were flying dolphins."
Tony's eyes went wide. "I didn't know dolphins could fly," he said in an awed voice.
The Doctor laughed. "Well, they can't, not on this planet. Come on, let's sit on the couch and I'll tell you all about Nipod, the planet of the dolphins."
******
Rose sat at the small table in the kitchen watching carefully as Jackie bustled about fixing the tea and babbling a mile a minute about Aruba. By the time she finally set out the tea, Jackie had revealed more details than Rose ever need to know about sand, sun burns, and Pete.
"So how was your honeymoon, sweetheart?" she asked Rose when she finally sat down, all Aruba conversation exhausted.
Rose took a sip of tea. "It was good. We visited some places we've been before, had a few adventures, met Shakespeare, got chased by Queen Elizabeth the First..." Rose filled her in on the details, Jackie's eyes widening in wonder as she described Woman Wept and The Library. She deliberately left Gallifrey out of the tale, sensing that it was something the Doctor wouldn't really want shared with his mother-in-law.
"All of that in a month?" Jackie raised her eyebrow in surprise when Rose finished.
"Oh, we've been gone longer than that I think," Rose frowned. "Time is kind of funny when you're in the TARDIS. I feel like we've been gone years..."
Rose could feel her mother’s watchful eyes boring into her. “You look older,” Jackie observed, tracing her fingers over the new lines on her face and the streaks of grey in her hair that Rose had noticed just that morning.
“Seems like just yesterday you were a little girl, eager to cuddle on my lap,” Jackie continued, nostalgically. She dropped her hand and met her daughter’s eyes shrewdly. "Rose," she said softly, "Is everything all right? You seem sad."
Rose forced a smile. "I'm fine." Her voice shook, betraying the lie.
"Rose, talk to me. Maybe I can help."
Silent tears began to slide down Rose's cheeks. Looking alarmed, Jackie came around the table to envelop her daughter in a supportive hug. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"
"I... it's... I... I'm being silly." Rose sniffed, burying her face in her mother's comforting shoulder. To her relief, it was as soothing as it had been when she was a small child.
"Awww, sweetheart, if it's bothering you it's not silly." Jackie rubbed her back.
"It's just that, the Doctor and I, we've been trying to have a baby for months. The TARDIS even made us a nursery, but it's just not happening. I keep hoping and then my monthlies come again and I'm disappointed. It happened again a few days ago and I just can't seem to stop thinking about it." Rose sniffled loudly. "Oh, Mum, I love him so much and I want to have his baby so badly. He will be such a great father. It breaks my heart every time I get proof that I'm not pregnant. What if- what if I can't give him a baby? What if something is wrong with me?"
Jackie squeezed her daughter more tightly. "Oh, Rose. Darling. It's only been a few months. These things can take time. You just need to be patient and let it happen naturally."
Rose raised her tear-stained face. "But what if it never happens?"
"Then you and the Doctor will deal with it together. Look at everything you've been through already. You were even ripped into a different universe and you managed to find your way back to each other. If you can overcome that, you can overcome anything."
"You're right," Rose sniffled. "I told you I was being silly."
Jackie wiped the tears from her daughter’s cheeks. "Not silly at all. Just human."
Rose offered her mother a shaky smile. "Thanks, Mum, I feel better."
Jackie nodded to the tea on the table that was getting cold. "Have some more tea. It will help, I promise."
Laughing, Rose sank back into her seat and complied. "Tea is still your solution to everything, is it?" Rose took a sip, and felt a little better. "Glad some things never change."
*******
After nearly a week on earth the Doctor was getting antsy. Now that he had the TARDIS he was no longer content being grounded. In truth, he had never been truly happy in those first five years on earth, but he'd pretended because a) he had no choice, and b) he didn't want to upset Rose. But his heart was with the stars and he knew that it was the same for Rose.
He woke one morning, with Rose curled in his arms. He studied her face as she slept, noting the contentment and the relaxed muscles on her face. She looked happier than she had been when they'd first arrived, freer, more herself.
He buried his nose in her hair and inhaled, savouring the familiar honey scent as he kissed her temple gently.
Rose stirred beside him, stretching and wiggling as she came back to consciousness.
"Doctor?" she said sleepily.
He smiled into her hair. "Yes?"
"Thank you for bringing me home."
"Are you ready to get back out there? I was thinking that maybe we should check on some of the planets that were stolen when Davros tried to destroy all of existence with the reality bomb. See if there was any effect in this universe from all of that. What do you think?"
Rose turned in his arms, her face alight with a vibrant smile. "Oh, definitely." She kissed him briefly. "Do I have time for a shower first?"
The Doctor nodded, his eyes suddenly ablaze. "Yes, we have time." With that, he kissed her thoroughly and pulled her out of bed, still holding her hand firmly as they walked to the bathroom together.
*****
After a lengthy good bye in the Tyler living room, in which the Doctor received multiple hugs from both Jackie and Tony, Rose and the Doctor waved goodbye and returned to the TARDIS. Before long, they were in flight again, drifting through the time vortex as the Doctor calibrated their next trip.
"Where are we going first?" Rose asked curiously, stretching her legs out on the long jump seat.
“Adipose Three, I think."
"Adiwhat?"
"Adipose," he said turning to grin at her. "They’re tiny white creatures made of fat. Look a bit like marshmallows." He laughed. "They're adorable."
"Made of fat?" Rose stared at him incredulously.
The Doctor nodded and continued to fiddle with the TARDIS controls. "Yes. Donna and I ran into them back in the other universe. Adipose Three, their breeding planet was missing so they came to earth to use humans as fat converters. Rather ingenious really, except for the part where it was illegal."
"But they got their planet back?"
"That's what I want to check. Ah, we're here." They landed with a light thump. Rose was still getting used to how smooth the landings seemed to be with this TARDIS.
They were in the middle of field. A tall building stood to one side and all around it were fenced areas of grass filled with several small white creatures that looked to Rose like pillows.
"Ooooooh," she squealed when she saw them. "They're gorgeous." She bent down to the nearest pen and scooped one of the smaller Adipose into her arms.
It squawked at her happily, flapping its arms as she cradled the light babe to her chest. The Doctor pointed to a much larger Adipose that was glowering at Rose. "Oh, sorry," she said shakily, kissing the baby Adipose on the head and setting him back in his pen.
"This is like a nursery school," the Doctor explained. "They're supposed to be socializing."
They continued to walk past pen after pen of little Adipose, and each time, Rose felt compelled to reach down and pick one up but she managed to resist.
They entered the building, which the Doctor explained was the Adiposean First Family's home. The Doctor met with the family briefly while Rose waited in the foyer of the grand building. A line of excited Adipose babies were led past her and they hopped a little, squeaking as they all tried to speak at once. Rose couldn't help but laugh at the adorable scene. The Doctor emerged at her side as she was waving at them while they bounced from the building.
"Everything is back to normal here. We can go."
"Are you sure we can't keep one?" Rose whispered, clinging to his arm and gesturing to another group of little Adipose who were being led down the hallways
They began to walk back to the TARDIS. "That would be a rather swift way to start a war. No, the Adipose are very cautious with their young. I wouldn't advise it."
Rose eyed the Adipose wistfully as they walked, her arms aching for the feel of the tiny baby body as she held it. She realized then that her attraction to the Adipose babies had more to do with her desire to have a child of her own than with the Adipose themselves.
As soon as they were drifting in space again, Rose leaned back on the over-sized jump seat and motioned for the Doctor to sit beside her.
"Doctor, I think maybe there's something wrong with me," she said quietly, looking down at her feet.
The Doctor gaped at her, clearly flummoxed by her words. "What do you mean something's wrong with you?"
"I wonder… I wonder if maybe I can’t have children."
He stared at her. "Rose --" he began, but she held up her hand, cutting him off.
She finally looked at him and the deep sorrow in her eyes tore at his heart. "We've been trying for months, and months to have a baby and nothing has happened. What if..." she choked, swallowed, and tried again. "What if the reason I haven't been able to get pregnant is that I can't? Ever?" Tears welled in her eyes and the Doctor promptly enveloped her in his arms.
"I don't think that's the case, but I could run some tests if you like."
Rose wiped her cheek. "Please? I'd like to know for sure."
"Of course." The Doctor pulled her to her feet. "We can go to the infirmary; everything I'll need is there."
Rose nodded, her eyes distant and vacant. She was suddenly very cold. As much as she wanted to know for sure, she was also afraid of what the results may be.
The Doctor ran a series of tests, both human and Time Lord on himself and Rose. Several hours later, they sat in the library together, while the Doctor carefully explained the results to Rose.
"This test here," he pointed to something on one of his readouts, "says that your reproductive system is functioning normally. From a medical standpoint, there is absolutely no reason you shouldn't be able to conceive."
Rose sighed in relief and gave him a sideways hug. "So there's nothing wrong with me?"
"Nothing at all, love." He kissed the top of her head, before motioning to another page of data. "These are my test results." He pointed to a series of charts and numbers that made very little sense to Rose.
She looked up at him, her expression hopeful. "And?"
"Normal from both a human and a Time Lord standpoint." He indicated one of the graphs. "I am the picture of reproductive health."
Moisture dotted her eyes as she beamed at him. "So that means we can have a baby?" Rose wound herself around him, feeling calmer than she had in weeks. "Mum was right, I was worrying for nothing."
The Doctor watched her carefully, his eyes guarded. When he didn't return her hug, Rose stilled, slowly pulling away to look at him, icy cold fear instantly replacing the elation she'd felt a moment before.
"What is it?" she asked, trying but failing to keep the trepidation from her voice. "Doctor, what's wrong?"
He met her gaze and the sadness she saw there caused her chest to hurt. "There was another test," the Doctor whispered.
Shaking, Rose settled back beside him and waited for him to explain. It took every ounce of her control not to fall apart. She had a feeling she wasn't going to like whatever he was about to tell her, and her first instinct was to run away, to hide from it, but she knew that wouldn't solve anything so she stayed where she was, frozen, afraid, waiting.
Finally, after what seemed to Rose like hours, the Doctor spoke, his voice steady and devoid of emotion. "There's a reason you haven't conceived yet." He held up a diagram. "This tells me that even though our bodies are both reproductively sound, they're not compatible."
Rose emitted a strangled cry, tears now flowing freely down her cheeks. "But why? You're human now. How can we not be compatible?" Her chin wobbled and the Doctor sensed that she was very close to losing control. He let down the shields he'd built up to protect her from his own tumultuous emotions and allowed himself to gather her into his arms.
"I'm only half human, remember?" He kissed her forehead briefly before continuing to explain. He managed to keep his voice calm, though he was feeling anything but. "The metacrisis changed my DNA just enough so that I'm neither fully Time Lord, nor fully human. So, even though, medically, everything works just fine, I'm just different enough that our cells can't mingle together to create a life."
"You mean, if you were fully Time Lord, it would work?"
He nodded. "Yes, it's the metacrisis that created this anomaly, so I believe that if I were fully one or the other this would not be an issue."
"You can't... you can't do anything to fix this?" She was sobbing now, huge, gasping sobs that caused her entire body to shake.
Tears sprang to his own eyes and he watched her helplessly. He hugged her more firmly to his chest, rubbing her back. "I'm sorry, Rose. I want nothing more than to make a child with you. Oh, Rose, you have no idea how much I want that."
He sank his face into her hair and dropped the last of his emotional barriers, allowing his own anguish and grief to flood from within him. Rose clung to him tightly as his body began to shudder. They stayed there for a long time, entwined together, as they sobbed and mourned the child that they would never have.
Next Chapter
Author: lorelaisquared
Rating: PG-13
Characters: TenII, Rose, Jackie
Word Count: 2894
Beta: The incredible cookie2697
Summary: Part One in an epic love story spanning time and space: When the Doctor abandons Rose in Pete's world with his counterpart, they must learn to live without him. Slowly they build a life together that is filled with love, adventure, danger, and more surprises than either had ever thought possible.
Warning: After a few chapters of fluff, the angst is back...
Authors Note: FYI: If you're curious about how this, or any other chapter or story I've written came to be, comment on this post and I will write a DVD style commentary for the story or chapter you've chosen.
As always, thank you to the people who helped me bring this story to life: cookie2697, tardismate, gioiamia, rumpelsnorcack, meremoon and earlgreytea68 *massive hugs to you all*
The title of this story comes from a line of a song in Shakespeares "Twelfth Night" commonly called "O Mistress Mine".
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6,
Chapter 7
After their viewing of Romeo and Juliet, the Doctor noticed a shift in Rose. She seemed more serious and somehow sadder. He tried to cheer her up by taking her to Vartiter to show her the fields of butterfly people, but when that didn’t work; he realized it was time to take Rose home for a visit. He knew Rose missed her family and he hoped that perhaps Jackie would be able to cheer her up.
Rose brightened considerably when he told her where they were and he knew he'd made the right choice.
"Mum?" Rose shouted, "We're back!"
The pounding of little feet filled the air, and Tony tore around the corner, a huge grin on his face.
"Rose! Rose!" he shouted, lunging himself in her arms with that complete trust children have that the people they love will always catch them.
Rose hugged him, cradling the little boy to her chest. "Oh, Tony, I've missed you."
"I missed you too, Rose." He planted a wet, sloppy kiss on her cheek. "Guess what! Guess what?" he told her as she set him back on the floor. "We went to Aruba and I saw a dolphin. It jumped thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis high." He stood on his tiptoes with his hand high above his head to demonstrate.
"Wow!" Rose exclaimed, taking his hand as they began to walk down the hall. Tony reached up and grabbed the Doctor's hand too. While they walked, he used their arms to help him swing back and forth. The Doctor smiled down at Tony, lifting his arm slightly to allow Tony to swing faster, higher. The sight made Rose's heart tighten in her chest. He was going to be such a good father one day.
The trio entered the living room, and Jackie screeched, streaking toward them with a joyful cry of, "You're back!"
Rose laughed and squeezed her mother back. "We are!"
"I missed you, both." At the Doctor's shocked expression, Jackie laughed and moved to the Doctor, hugging him too, the mortified expression on his face causing Rose to giggle. "Yes, I missed you too, you goof."
The Doctor patted Jackie on the shoulder awkwardly, until she finally released him and turned back to Rose. "Let's go put the kettle on and have a cuppa while I tell you all about the month we've had. You wouldn't believe everything that's happened."
The Doctor shook his head, bemused as he watched the two women wander into the kitchen, chattering excitedly. He looked down at Tony who was now tugging on his hand to get his attention.
"Have you ever seen a dolphin?" he asked the Doctor.
The Doctor nodded solemnly. "I have. Not quite the same though, they were flying dolphins."
Tony's eyes went wide. "I didn't know dolphins could fly," he said in an awed voice.
The Doctor laughed. "Well, they can't, not on this planet. Come on, let's sit on the couch and I'll tell you all about Nipod, the planet of the dolphins."
******
Rose sat at the small table in the kitchen watching carefully as Jackie bustled about fixing the tea and babbling a mile a minute about Aruba. By the time she finally set out the tea, Jackie had revealed more details than Rose ever need to know about sand, sun burns, and Pete.
"So how was your honeymoon, sweetheart?" she asked Rose when she finally sat down, all Aruba conversation exhausted.
Rose took a sip of tea. "It was good. We visited some places we've been before, had a few adventures, met Shakespeare, got chased by Queen Elizabeth the First..." Rose filled her in on the details, Jackie's eyes widening in wonder as she described Woman Wept and The Library. She deliberately left Gallifrey out of the tale, sensing that it was something the Doctor wouldn't really want shared with his mother-in-law.
"All of that in a month?" Jackie raised her eyebrow in surprise when Rose finished.
"Oh, we've been gone longer than that I think," Rose frowned. "Time is kind of funny when you're in the TARDIS. I feel like we've been gone years..."
Rose could feel her mother’s watchful eyes boring into her. “You look older,” Jackie observed, tracing her fingers over the new lines on her face and the streaks of grey in her hair that Rose had noticed just that morning.
“Seems like just yesterday you were a little girl, eager to cuddle on my lap,” Jackie continued, nostalgically. She dropped her hand and met her daughter’s eyes shrewdly. "Rose," she said softly, "Is everything all right? You seem sad."
Rose forced a smile. "I'm fine." Her voice shook, betraying the lie.
"Rose, talk to me. Maybe I can help."
Silent tears began to slide down Rose's cheeks. Looking alarmed, Jackie came around the table to envelop her daughter in a supportive hug. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"
"I... it's... I... I'm being silly." Rose sniffed, burying her face in her mother's comforting shoulder. To her relief, it was as soothing as it had been when she was a small child.
"Awww, sweetheart, if it's bothering you it's not silly." Jackie rubbed her back.
"It's just that, the Doctor and I, we've been trying to have a baby for months. The TARDIS even made us a nursery, but it's just not happening. I keep hoping and then my monthlies come again and I'm disappointed. It happened again a few days ago and I just can't seem to stop thinking about it." Rose sniffled loudly. "Oh, Mum, I love him so much and I want to have his baby so badly. He will be such a great father. It breaks my heart every time I get proof that I'm not pregnant. What if- what if I can't give him a baby? What if something is wrong with me?"
Jackie squeezed her daughter more tightly. "Oh, Rose. Darling. It's only been a few months. These things can take time. You just need to be patient and let it happen naturally."
Rose raised her tear-stained face. "But what if it never happens?"
"Then you and the Doctor will deal with it together. Look at everything you've been through already. You were even ripped into a different universe and you managed to find your way back to each other. If you can overcome that, you can overcome anything."
"You're right," Rose sniffled. "I told you I was being silly."
Jackie wiped the tears from her daughter’s cheeks. "Not silly at all. Just human."
Rose offered her mother a shaky smile. "Thanks, Mum, I feel better."
Jackie nodded to the tea on the table that was getting cold. "Have some more tea. It will help, I promise."
Laughing, Rose sank back into her seat and complied. "Tea is still your solution to everything, is it?" Rose took a sip, and felt a little better. "Glad some things never change."
*******
After nearly a week on earth the Doctor was getting antsy. Now that he had the TARDIS he was no longer content being grounded. In truth, he had never been truly happy in those first five years on earth, but he'd pretended because a) he had no choice, and b) he didn't want to upset Rose. But his heart was with the stars and he knew that it was the same for Rose.
He woke one morning, with Rose curled in his arms. He studied her face as she slept, noting the contentment and the relaxed muscles on her face. She looked happier than she had been when they'd first arrived, freer, more herself.
He buried his nose in her hair and inhaled, savouring the familiar honey scent as he kissed her temple gently.
Rose stirred beside him, stretching and wiggling as she came back to consciousness.
"Doctor?" she said sleepily.
He smiled into her hair. "Yes?"
"Thank you for bringing me home."
"Are you ready to get back out there? I was thinking that maybe we should check on some of the planets that were stolen when Davros tried to destroy all of existence with the reality bomb. See if there was any effect in this universe from all of that. What do you think?"
Rose turned in his arms, her face alight with a vibrant smile. "Oh, definitely." She kissed him briefly. "Do I have time for a shower first?"
The Doctor nodded, his eyes suddenly ablaze. "Yes, we have time." With that, he kissed her thoroughly and pulled her out of bed, still holding her hand firmly as they walked to the bathroom together.
*****
After a lengthy good bye in the Tyler living room, in which the Doctor received multiple hugs from both Jackie and Tony, Rose and the Doctor waved goodbye and returned to the TARDIS. Before long, they were in flight again, drifting through the time vortex as the Doctor calibrated their next trip.
"Where are we going first?" Rose asked curiously, stretching her legs out on the long jump seat.
“Adipose Three, I think."
"Adiwhat?"
"Adipose," he said turning to grin at her. "They’re tiny white creatures made of fat. Look a bit like marshmallows." He laughed. "They're adorable."
"Made of fat?" Rose stared at him incredulously.
The Doctor nodded and continued to fiddle with the TARDIS controls. "Yes. Donna and I ran into them back in the other universe. Adipose Three, their breeding planet was missing so they came to earth to use humans as fat converters. Rather ingenious really, except for the part where it was illegal."
"But they got their planet back?"
"That's what I want to check. Ah, we're here." They landed with a light thump. Rose was still getting used to how smooth the landings seemed to be with this TARDIS.
They were in the middle of field. A tall building stood to one side and all around it were fenced areas of grass filled with several small white creatures that looked to Rose like pillows.
"Ooooooh," she squealed when she saw them. "They're gorgeous." She bent down to the nearest pen and scooped one of the smaller Adipose into her arms.
It squawked at her happily, flapping its arms as she cradled the light babe to her chest. The Doctor pointed to a much larger Adipose that was glowering at Rose. "Oh, sorry," she said shakily, kissing the baby Adipose on the head and setting him back in his pen.
"This is like a nursery school," the Doctor explained. "They're supposed to be socializing."
They continued to walk past pen after pen of little Adipose, and each time, Rose felt compelled to reach down and pick one up but she managed to resist.
They entered the building, which the Doctor explained was the Adiposean First Family's home. The Doctor met with the family briefly while Rose waited in the foyer of the grand building. A line of excited Adipose babies were led past her and they hopped a little, squeaking as they all tried to speak at once. Rose couldn't help but laugh at the adorable scene. The Doctor emerged at her side as she was waving at them while they bounced from the building.
"Everything is back to normal here. We can go."
"Are you sure we can't keep one?" Rose whispered, clinging to his arm and gesturing to another group of little Adipose who were being led down the hallways
They began to walk back to the TARDIS. "That would be a rather swift way to start a war. No, the Adipose are very cautious with their young. I wouldn't advise it."
Rose eyed the Adipose wistfully as they walked, her arms aching for the feel of the tiny baby body as she held it. She realized then that her attraction to the Adipose babies had more to do with her desire to have a child of her own than with the Adipose themselves.
As soon as they were drifting in space again, Rose leaned back on the over-sized jump seat and motioned for the Doctor to sit beside her.
"Doctor, I think maybe there's something wrong with me," she said quietly, looking down at her feet.
The Doctor gaped at her, clearly flummoxed by her words. "What do you mean something's wrong with you?"
"I wonder… I wonder if maybe I can’t have children."
He stared at her. "Rose --" he began, but she held up her hand, cutting him off.
She finally looked at him and the deep sorrow in her eyes tore at his heart. "We've been trying for months, and months to have a baby and nothing has happened. What if..." she choked, swallowed, and tried again. "What if the reason I haven't been able to get pregnant is that I can't? Ever?" Tears welled in her eyes and the Doctor promptly enveloped her in his arms.
"I don't think that's the case, but I could run some tests if you like."
Rose wiped her cheek. "Please? I'd like to know for sure."
"Of course." The Doctor pulled her to her feet. "We can go to the infirmary; everything I'll need is there."
Rose nodded, her eyes distant and vacant. She was suddenly very cold. As much as she wanted to know for sure, she was also afraid of what the results may be.
The Doctor ran a series of tests, both human and Time Lord on himself and Rose. Several hours later, they sat in the library together, while the Doctor carefully explained the results to Rose.
"This test here," he pointed to something on one of his readouts, "says that your reproductive system is functioning normally. From a medical standpoint, there is absolutely no reason you shouldn't be able to conceive."
Rose sighed in relief and gave him a sideways hug. "So there's nothing wrong with me?"
"Nothing at all, love." He kissed the top of her head, before motioning to another page of data. "These are my test results." He pointed to a series of charts and numbers that made very little sense to Rose.
She looked up at him, her expression hopeful. "And?"
"Normal from both a human and a Time Lord standpoint." He indicated one of the graphs. "I am the picture of reproductive health."
Moisture dotted her eyes as she beamed at him. "So that means we can have a baby?" Rose wound herself around him, feeling calmer than she had in weeks. "Mum was right, I was worrying for nothing."
The Doctor watched her carefully, his eyes guarded. When he didn't return her hug, Rose stilled, slowly pulling away to look at him, icy cold fear instantly replacing the elation she'd felt a moment before.
"What is it?" she asked, trying but failing to keep the trepidation from her voice. "Doctor, what's wrong?"
He met her gaze and the sadness she saw there caused her chest to hurt. "There was another test," the Doctor whispered.
Shaking, Rose settled back beside him and waited for him to explain. It took every ounce of her control not to fall apart. She had a feeling she wasn't going to like whatever he was about to tell her, and her first instinct was to run away, to hide from it, but she knew that wouldn't solve anything so she stayed where she was, frozen, afraid, waiting.
Finally, after what seemed to Rose like hours, the Doctor spoke, his voice steady and devoid of emotion. "There's a reason you haven't conceived yet." He held up a diagram. "This tells me that even though our bodies are both reproductively sound, they're not compatible."
Rose emitted a strangled cry, tears now flowing freely down her cheeks. "But why? You're human now. How can we not be compatible?" Her chin wobbled and the Doctor sensed that she was very close to losing control. He let down the shields he'd built up to protect her from his own tumultuous emotions and allowed himself to gather her into his arms.
"I'm only half human, remember?" He kissed her forehead briefly before continuing to explain. He managed to keep his voice calm, though he was feeling anything but. "The metacrisis changed my DNA just enough so that I'm neither fully Time Lord, nor fully human. So, even though, medically, everything works just fine, I'm just different enough that our cells can't mingle together to create a life."
"You mean, if you were fully Time Lord, it would work?"
He nodded. "Yes, it's the metacrisis that created this anomaly, so I believe that if I were fully one or the other this would not be an issue."
"You can't... you can't do anything to fix this?" She was sobbing now, huge, gasping sobs that caused her entire body to shake.
Tears sprang to his own eyes and he watched her helplessly. He hugged her more firmly to his chest, rubbing her back. "I'm sorry, Rose. I want nothing more than to make a child with you. Oh, Rose, you have no idea how much I want that."
He sank his face into her hair and dropped the last of his emotional barriers, allowing his own anguish and grief to flood from within him. Rose clung to him tightly as his body began to shudder. They stayed there for a long time, entwined together, as they sobbed and mourned the child that they would never have.
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