Needs a warning

[lordvazago]

Dear Wrigley's, makers of Orbit Gum,

You guys really need to put a warning label on your packages. One stating "Do not swallow this gum. If you do, when you deficate ,your anal cavity will burn with minty freshness" would be nice.

Thanks me.

Don't ask

Comments

[natashacorsicov]

Yeeeeeah... didn't you get the memo?

[lordvazago]

Nope, and didn't get the email spam eithe.r

[natashacorsicov]

Those annoying fuckers are laying down on the job... I haven't decided if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

Who knew... Orbit is the anal freshmaker...

[lordvazago]

Who knew... Orbit is the anal freshmaker...

Well I know NOW.

So let this be a lesson to all. The rumours about gum not digesting in your system and laying in your intestines for 7 years before it disolves is wrong. 3 days max before it exits.

Haven't had this kind of pain since the Checkermint incident of 91'.

[jcangst]

now i have to try it

[lordvazago]

you would want to. Just don't drink the good stuff before you do. Let it roam out naturally, so that you will be surprised.

[lunatic_saint]

OMG you posted!

[lordvazago]

Yeah like back in September when this originally aired.

[lrdblasko]

Dear Chuck:

Thanks for your interest in our product.

After extensive research by our legal department, we are pleased to inform you that you have slightly less than a snowball's chance in fucking hell of making this stick. I mean, c'mon...the legal system wised up to those fat people suing McDonald's.

Besided, it's very clearly stated on the label that the active ingredient in our gum is menthol-flavored battery acid. We warned you, but did you listen? Oh, no! "I'm gonna be Mister Tough-As-Government-Beef Industrialite Girlie Man in a Skirt who's gonna swallow my minty-fresh gum because I'm too afraid to actually stick an entire icecicle up my ass."

Get a real life, you wanker.

And thanks for chewing Orbit gum.

Cordially,

Wrigley's

Dumbass swallowed his gum....sheesh....don't they know it's made of hardened shampoo anyway, and that's for external use only? I mean, really....bitch I said quit taking dication with your mouth full of my fat....

[ubiquitousnewt]

If you look and see how much Wrigley's bloody stock is worth, you'd think so even more. Last I checked it was something obscene, like $100+.

[lordvazago]

*golf clap* and yes brother blasko, the pinky is FULLY extended.

[twiggyslilboy]

minty freshness ehh?...hmm...sounds masochistic but i think im gonna try this