( my greatest creation? )

mel gibson is officially on my shit list. originally he was just on my annoying list because he made the man without a face. but no more. just shit now.

janet jackson's breast? that was all me. I told you bitches.

football. glorious football. I'm always sittin' on my cloud, chillin', trying to solve world hunger and get a good score on yahoo pool at the same time, and then out of the corner of my ear, I hear 100+ huge bustin' ass guys saying that I'm on their side for the big superbowl, even though there are two different teams. and they didn't even ASK ( Read more... )

I'm tired of the shit all of you bitches on earth are giving me. especially those in the northeast. therefore, for the next week and a half, it's gonna be so cold that your balls/ovaries are going to fall off/out. have fun! next time don't start a war or support a God-awful (so to speak) president in his insanity. laterz.

from now on, anyone who says something is "gay" or "homosexual", and they themself are not gay, will go straight to my asshole. thank you and good night.

recently fredbot3000 brought the issue of self-pleasure into my heavenly eyes. I think it is an important issue to address. and I will address it by saying that all of mankind should masturbate. all the time. together. whenever possible. especially when they have headaches. the end.

there appears to be a new jesus in town. xjesusxchristx. interesting. let's have a vote. should I:
1) join forces with the new jesus or
2) cast him into a ring of fire

I'm very sad for those of you who have yet to accept me into their heart (read: haven't friended me back yet). so, as jesus christ, I'd like to give a shout out to those who have friended me back. you automatically get into heaven.

I don't want anybody else.
when I think about you, I cross myself.

I have a new icon of my favorite actress. anyone who mocks it will go to purgatory.