You Be the Prom Queen: Part Three
He calls Jensen the next day to propose meeting up for lunch before the concert, and Jensen readily agrees. He still hasn't gotten around to feeling guilty about jerking off, but he thinks he should probably be honest with Jensen about his total lack of experience. Just in case Jensen wonders why he's such a bad kisser. He doesn't want Jensen to think he's kissed a ton of people and just doesn't know he sucks. Or something.
Mostly, he wants Jensen to kiss him, but not stop when he realizes Jared is really bad at it.
They meet up at a deli by Northeastern, and Jared manages to cover both of them for less than $20, which was his main goal.
"Outside again?" he suggests, giving Jensen a grin.
"Outside," Jensen agrees. "I need my vitamin D, Jared. Besides, it's really loud in here."
"And you want to talk to me?" Jared teases. "Glad you're not just in this for my pretty face."
"Your mouth looks hot when you talk," Jensen says, so nonchalant that Jared can't really tell if he's kidding. It makes him feel warm all over.
"Okay, I guess you are shallow. My mistake."
"And don't you forget it," says Jensen, grinning as they settle down on a bench.
"Actually, that reminds me," says Jared, flushing a little.
"Hm?" asks Jensen, unwrapping his sandwich.
"I, um--the other day."
"Yeah?"
"When you tried to kiss me, I--"
"I was out of line," Jensen says quickly. "I should have asked first."
"Dude, let me finish," Jared says mildly. "I'm not mad. I just--" he takes a breath. "I've never actually had a boyfriend before. Or even--kissed a guy."
"Oh," says Jensen. He looks surprised, but not angry.
"I've kissed a few girls," he says. "Okay, two. And once was for spin the bottle. And never with tongue. It pretty much sucked." He smiles a little. "So--that's why I suck at kissing."
Jensen smiles at that. "You probably don't suck at kissing."
"Well, if I do, tell me. I'll work on getting better."
That gets a laugh, but Jensen is looking at him fondly, not as if he's making fun. "I promise to give you constructive criticism on your kissing if you need it," he says. "But I'm not worried. And I won't try to kiss you unless you want me to."
Jared considers saying he does, but Jensen is smiling and gorgeous, and it's somehow easy to lean over and press his lips against Jensen's, and when Jensen smiles, he can feel it.
And then Jensen brings his hand up, holds Jared's cheek, kissing back for a second before he pulls away. Jared chases his mouth, though, and that seems to be all the encouragement Jensen needs to keep going, licking Jared's lips so he opens his mouth and going for it, wet and hot and kind of everything Jared wanted out of a first kiss.
"We should really not make out right here," Jensen says, pulling back against after a long, amazing minute.
"We shouldn't?" Jared asks, a little disappointed.
Jensen stares at him for a minute and then laughs, shaking his head. "You're adorable," he says. "But I'm not going to molest you in public."
"That wasn't molesting," Jared points out.
Jensen takes a long drink of his juice, winking. "It wasn't molesting yet," he says. "But, like I said, you're adorable." He groans. "And I swear I don't usually talk about molesting on the second date."
"Wait, how many dates does that usually take?" asks Jared, impressed with himself for keeping a teasing note in his voice. He kind of wants to go and run around in circles again, but he's pretty sure Jensen would just be confused.
Jensen laughs. "I don't actually have a set timeline," he admits, scratching behind his ear. "Just--later."
"I thought this was just some dating etiquette I didn't know. First date, holding hands, second date, kissing, third date, talking about inappropriate touching, fourth date, actually inappropriately touching."
Jensen grins. "I'm pretty sure Danneel believes that inappropriate touching can happen before the first date, so it really depends." He smiles. "You don't have to worry about never having done this before," he says. "I'm pretty laid back. And I like you. I'm not going to freak out and run away if you screw up." He flicks his eyes over to Jared. "Which you haven't, by the way."
"I kind of worry sometimes," Jared admits, with a smile.
Jensen leans over and kisses him, short and sweet. "Yeah," he says. "I'm okay with it."
As excited as Jared is about his date with this awesome guy that he's finding he really, really likes (even aside from the hotness and the kissing), the concert is--boring.
It's not like Jared has ever thought much about classical music--he heard it sometimes in school, in music classes and stuff, and when he went to friends' piano recitals and stuff, but he's never considered himself a fan. It all sounds good and everything, but after about fifteen minutes he's feeling squirmy, and after the full hour, he's completely zoned out.
Jensen doesn't seem to have noticed, at least, but he also seems genuinely enthused about the whole thing. Which is cool, and good for him, but Jared wonders if this is a really bad sign. Jensen's life goal is playing music that Jared finds terminally dull.
"Hey, I've got to say hi to Alona before we leave," Jensen says, as they get up. Jared is really glad he's apparently completely oblivious to Jared's apathy. "You can come, but she will probably ask you a lot about your intentions and be very invasive. I will not be offended if you don't."
Jared laughs. "No, I'll come," he says. It's actually really hard to stress out about things when he's talking to Jensen. He's too busy liking Jensen.
"Probably good," says Jensen, with mock solemnity. "It's only a matter of time before the grilling starts."
And that definitely makes Jared all warm and fuzzy inside.
"Hey, thanks for coming!" says the pretty blonde girl who was playing flute during the concert. She spots Jared hanging awkwardly behind Jensen and her smile instantly turns wicked. "You brought a friend," she says, as if this is deeply meaningful.
"Shut up," says Jensen, goodnaturedly, leaning in to give the girl a hug. "You were awesome. And yes," he continues, before she can respond, "I brought a friend. This is Jared."
"I thought so," says Alona, smirking. "It is very nice to meet you, Jared. You go to Northeastern?"
"No, um, community college," Jared admits. He manages not to flush until he sees her eyebrows raise. Jensen doesn't seem to notice. "You were great," he adds, because he's pretty sure she was. The music was played well, it just--wasn't his thing.
"Thanks," she says, pleasant but not quite as friendly as before. She looks back to Jensen. "When's your next gig, huh?"
Jensen smiles, scratching behind his ear. "Next weekend, actually. I'll e-mail you. I'm not that great at the jazz part yet, but--"
"Oh, whatever," says Alona, rolling her eyes. "Jensen claims to not be great at stuff, and then secretly he's like a savant," she tells Jared, in a conspiratorial tone. "It's so mean. Have you heard him play?"
"Not yet," Jared admits.
"You are in for a treat," Alona gushes. "He's amazing."
"Shut up," Jensen grumbles, obviously amused. "You're supposed to be grilling Jared, not embarrassing me."
"Oh, whatever," says Alona, rolling her eyes. "Like I can't do both. What are you studying, Jared?"
"Engineering."
"Oh, wow! That's really impressive," she says, and Jared can't help thinking she had him dismissed as an idiot earlier.
"I like it," says Jared, with an awkward little shrug.
Jensen gives Alona a warning look, so obviously he's noticed she's being a little weird. "Anyway, we've got to get going," he says, clearing his throat. "I'll let you know about next weekend."
"Thanks," says Alona. She gives Jared a big smile and a wave. "It was great to meet you. Hope I'll see you again."
Outside, Jensen stretches, and then gives Jared an apologetic smile. "Sorry about her," he says, softly. "She's nice, but she can kind of be a snob sometimes. She told me a jazz quartet was cute, but not really very professional."
"It's okay," Jared says. "I'm used to it."
"Seriously?" asks Jensen. "That's terrible."
"Huh?"
"I mean, that you get that a lot." He smiles, knocks his shoulder against Jared's. "I think it's kind of awesome, honestly."
"Awesome?"
"Working full time and going to school is really impressive, man," he says, shrugging. "Plus, engineering. That's some drive."
Jared doesn't really think of it as drive, not exactly. Maybe it is, but--sometimes he thinks he works so hard just to prove he's okay. That he can get by on his own, without his parents. That he can still have a life.
"Well, thanks, I guess," he says, a little awkwardly.
"That got kind of weird, huh," says Jensen making a face. "Want to get ice cream?"
Jared thinks about how much money he's got in his wallet, and how small a cone he can get without making Jensen suspicious. Then he decides--really, he wants to get ice cream with Jensen. "Yeah," he says. "Yeah, I do."
"So, how was your date?" Misha asks, when Jared comes in.
"Um," says Jared, biting his lip. "The parts with Jensen were good," he offers, falling back on the sofa with a sigh.
"There were parts of your date with Jensen that weren't with Jensen?" Misha asks, a little confused. "Was the train terrible?"
"No, no," says Jared. "I mean--he was there the whole time. It was just--boring. The concert, I mean. And then I told his friend I went to community college and she got kind of snobby."
"Okay," says Misha. "Well, don't hang out with that friend and try to avoid classical music."
Jared gives Misha a look. "He's a violinist."
"Well, go to his concerts, obviously. But you don't have to know every piece of classical music ever."
"He's a violinist," Jared says, pretty sure that Misha is not getting this.
"Yes," Misha agrees. "Would you be offended if Jensen wasn't interested in engineering?"
"It's not really the same," Jared protests.
"It is the same," says Misha. "Relationships aren't based around having all the same interests all the the time. It is possible to enjoy things your partner does because of your partner. The important thing isn't that you're crazy about classical violin, or that Jensen thinks engineering is fascinating. It's that you care about each other." He slants a look at Jared. "That being said, it is important that you're honest with your boyfriend. Like telling him that you're happy to go to concerts with him, but it's not exactly your scene. Or that you are on a tight budget and would prefer going on dates that don't cost as much."
"This is all part of your evil scheme to teach me a lesson, isn't it?" Jared asks.
"It is part of my evil scheme to make sure you have a good relationship with the boy you are clearly head over heels over," says Misha. "I am an asshole."
"I do appreciate your advice, you know," Jared notes.
"I know," says Misha. "Listen, Jared--you're new at this. You haven't yet figured out what you need to worry about. You're not into classical music--that's probably not a deal breaker for Jensen. But you don't want to get into a relationship with him where you assume you can't tell him anything for fear it will be a deal breaker." He reaches over to ruffle Jared's hair. "If the fact that you don't have a lot of money and your family kicked you out means Jensen doesn't want to date you, then you want to find that out now. Because that should be a deal breaker for you."
"I just--I don't want him to think of me as a charity case," Jared admits. "I don't think he'll break up with me, I just think it'll be different, if he knows."
"Well, it probably will," says Misha. "But different isn't always bad. And, if the two of you actually start dating seriously, he'll find out no matter what. And the longer it goes, the more it becomes something you didn't tell him, not just something he doesn't know."
Jared looks at Misha for a long minute. "You are wise," he finally says. "How did you become so wise?"
"Mostly I just fuck up a lot," says Misha, sounding very pleased with himself. "Benefit from my many mistakes."
"Someone should," says Jared, sticking out his tongue.
"Oh, I see the moment of serious advice and bonding is over, and now I need to give you a noogie," says Misha, attempting to do just that, but Jared is larger than he is and has an older brother and a lot of experience fighting with him, so he wins without much trouble.
"Yeah, that worked out really well for you," says Jared, smugly.
"I can't believe you didn't let me win after I gave you such awesome advice," says Misha, shaking his head. "You're an ungrateful jerk, Padalecki."
"Spoken like a true loser," says Jared, letting him go.
"Never mind, tell Jensen you are a wildly sophisticated billionaire with a hard-on for opera. See if I care."
"I think I'd need a monocle for that," says Jared thoughtfully.
"I think I have one."
Jared snorts. "Of course you do."
Jared gets home from class on Tuesday feeling like he got hit by a bus, which is nothing new, but when he wakes up Wednesday morning still feeling like that, it's more than a little surprising.
He makes it to work on one cup of coffee and buys another as soon as he arrives, price be damned.
"Dude, you look like death," says Chad.
"Thanks, Chad," Jared says dryly, putting most of his effort into staying upright. "That's exactly what I like to hear."
"Seriously, what happened? Did your boyfriend keep you up all night having the worst sex ever?"
"No," says Jared, groaning. "I'm just tired, okay? I'll be fine with a little more coffee."
Jared really believes it too, but by lunch, he's feeling even crappier--exhausted and unsteady on his feet and about ready to sleep for a week.
"Jesus, what happened?" he hears, and looks up from his lunch bag to see Jensen.
"Jensen?" he asks, totally confused.
Jensen sits down next to him on the ground. "I was gonna see if you wanted to grab lunch with me," Jensen explains. "I had some free time, wanted to hang out. But, uh--shit, you look terrible. What's up?"
Jared is too tired to resist stupid impulses, so he just slumps against Jensen's side, resting his head on Jensen's shoulder. "'m just tired," he murmurs, feeling better as soon as he closes his eyes. "Class last night, got home late, always tired."
"I don't think you're just tired," Jensen says gently. Jared feels Jensen's hand on his forehead, pushing up his bangs, and he shivers. "You're burning up."
"Mm?" asks Jared.
"You need to go home."
"I need to go home?"
"You have a fever," says Jensen. Jared feels Jensen's arm around his shoulders, helping him up. He opens his eyes reluctantly.
"I have work," Jared protests. "It's lunch. I have work after lunch."
"Dude, you're going home," says Chad, who's looking at Jensen a little warily. "You're taking him home?"
"I'm calling his roommate," says Jensen. "Can you tell the boss he's sick and needs to go home?"
"Yeah," says Chad. He looks surprisingly mature. "You're Jensen, right?"
"Yeah, nice to meet you, um--"
"Chad. Take care of my boy, you got it?"
"I got it."
Jared wants to protest, but--he really is tired, and Jensen is warm and wants to take care of him, which is kind of nice.
"Okay," Jensen says, "you're sitting down here, and giving me your phone."
Jared blinks. "My phone?"
"I don't have your roommate's number."
"Why are we calling Misha?"
"Because I don't want to drag you on the train if he can give us a ride. And if I am dragging you on the train, I'm taking you to my place."
"Really?"
"It's closer," Jensen says. "Come on, phone," he says. "You need to get somewhere you can rest."
Jared passes his phone over and leans against Jensen as he talks to Misha, not really paying attention. Now that Jensen's said he's sick, it makes sense, but he really can't afford to take time off work.
"I'd be fine," he tells Jensen, firmly.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Jensen says. "Come on, you're coming to my house and Misha is gonna pick you up when he's done for the day."
"Are you done for the day?" Jared asks.
"I'm done, yeah," says Jensen. He gives Jared a smile. "Come on, I have an awesome bed that you can nap in."
"Not even the third date and you're already getting me in bed?" asks Jared. "Wow. You must think I'm so easy."
Jensen snorts. "I would pay money to see you attempt to get it up right now, Jared." He feels the press of Jensen's lips against his temple. "Come on."
"Your roommate said this just happened to you a few times a year," Jensen says, softly. They're walking from the train toward Jensen's place, and Jared is standing of his own power, mostly out of stubbornness. Also, he's taller than Jensen. It's kind of hard to lean on him very easily.
"Huh?" he asks, realizing Jensen said something.
"He said you work too hard, and you get sick, and you refuse to admit you're sick and don't take time off work," says Jensen. "Do you?"
Jared rubs his face. "Not exactly. I mean--I just get tired."
"And run a fever."
"Not usually," Jared says. "It's usually just--a cold. And I can work through it."
Jensen doesn't respond for long enough that Jared gets confused. Finally, he says, "Look, Jared--I don't expect you to tell me everything about yourself right away. But--it's pretty clear you've got some stuff going on. You don't have to tell me right now, but don't lie and say it's nothing."
"Uh," says Jared, head swimming. "I'm really too out of it to, uh, follow that," he admits.
Jensen smiles, shaking his head. "Yeah, we'll talk later. Come on in."
Jensen's house is small and pale blue, one story, with a yard with a white-picket fence.
"Wholesome," he can't help saying.
"I rent it," says Jensen, rolling his eyes. "I didn't make the fence." He smiles. "All through college and the first year of my PhD I lived in this shitty studio apartment, and I got sick of it. Besides, I wanted a dog, and I feel like a bad person keeping a dog with no yard."
Jared perks up. "You have a dog!" he says.
Jensen laughs. "Even running a fever, you're a dog person," he says, shaking his head. "Yes, I have a dog. He'll jump all over us as soon as we come in. And he's allowed on the bed, so you can use him as a very squirmy teddy bear while you sleep."
"I thought I got to use you as a teddy bear," Jared says, a little disappointed. If he gets to sleep at Jensen's, he figures he should at least get to sleep with Jensen.
"We'll just all pile on the bed," Jensen says, laughing as he unlocks the door. As soon as the key goes in, the barking starts, high and excited, and when Jensen opens the door they're immediately assaulted by a little brown-and-white dog. Jensen gives him a perfunctory pat on the head as the go in, but Jared drops down to sit as soon as the door is closed, letting the dog climb all over him and lick his face.
"Hi!" he says, laughing and scratching his ears. "Hi, Kal, you're a good dog, aren't you!"
"He's an attention whore, and you're enabling him," Jensen says, shaking his head. "I can already tell this is going to be a disaster."
"He's adorable," says Jared, grinning. "I'm going to visit you all the time now."
"Fine by me," says Jensen. He crouches down so he can pat the dog too. "Come on, you really should lie down. You look better than you did earlier, but that's really not saying much."
"Gee, thanks," says Jared dryly, but he is feeling pretty exhausted. He extracts himself from the dog and stands, a little unsteady when the blood rushes to his head. "Yeah, okay," he says. "I probably should lie down."
"Yeah, you really should," says Jensen, taking Jared's arm and leading him through the house. It's cozy, not that well furnished, but nice. It's clear Jensen hasn't been there that long, plans to stay. "I'll give you the tour next time, right now we'll just head to the bedroom." He pauses. "Wow, this is not the usual context for me saying that."
Jared frowns. "How often do you say that?"
Jensen flushes. "Uh, not often. I don't really--I'm not much of a, uh, hookup kind of guy. Nothing against it, I just prefer my sex with a side of emotional investment." He coughs. "Anyway. This is the bedroom. You lie down, I'm going to see if I have any soup. It looked like you weren't making much progress on your lunch."
"Yeah," Jared admits. He smiles at Jensen. "Did I say thank you? Seriously."
Jensen pushes him gently down onto the bed and kisses his forehead. "No problem," he says, smiling. "But next time I'm sick, I expect you to return the favor."
Jared laughs. "Deal."
"You're a dumbass," says Misha.
Jared blinks open, momentarily completely confused. He's got a dog on him, and the bed he's in is a lot bigger than his own. And his back is cold.
"What?" he asks.
"You should have told me you were feeling sick," says Misha.
"He's here to take you home," says Jensen, and that kickstarts Jared's brain. He was in Jensen's bed. Sleeping. With Jensen's dog.
This is probably the least sexy he's ever been, he decides, as he wipes some drool off his face.
Jensen doesn't seem to notice or care. "How are you feeling?" he asks.
"Better rested," he admits. "Still not great. But if I get a good night's sleep tonight--"
"You're still not going to work tomorrow," says Misha.
"Seriously, your job involves power tools and lumber," says Jensen. "I'm going to go by just to make sure you're not there."
"Misha--" Jared starts, trying to appeal to the fact that Misha knows his budget is tight enough that missing work is really a bad idea.
"You're not going," says Misha. He sighs. "Seriously, Jared."
Jared swings out of bed and stumbles a little, feeling Jensen catch him. "Okay," he admits. "I'm not going to work tomorrow," he agrees. He smiles at Jensen. "Thanks for taking care of me."
Jensen smiles, leaning up for a brief, fast kiss. "I'll call you tomorrow after class, okay? Just to check in."
Jared smiles. "Yeah, okay."
He follows Misha out to the car, hoping against hope that Misha won't ask too much about what happened.
Of course, as soon as he's strapped in, he says, "So, Jensen made you leave work?"
"Yeah," says Jared. He groans. "You know I can't afford to take many days off.
"You know that I will pay you to take a sick day when you need one," says Misha. Jared starts to object, and Misha holds up his hand. "It's not charity, Jared. It's helping my friend. And I know you'd do the same for me if you could."
"I would, but--"
"No buts," says Misha. He glances over at Jared. "Did you tell Jensen why you didn't want to miss work?" he asks.
"No," Jared admits. "But I'm going to," he says. "He's a really good guy."
Misha smiles. "He seems to be. But wait until you're feeling better."
Jared laughs. "Yeah, definitely."
Chad stops by after work on Thursday, looking a little shifty.
"You know where I live?" Jared asks, surprised. He's never really seen Chad outside of work, mostly by accident. Also, he suspects he and Chad don't really like to do the same things for fun. Chad's got this job because he didn't want to go to college and his parents think he needs a taste of real work to convince him he wants a degree. Jared has a little trouble relating.
"I wanted to check on you," says Chad. "Is that so wrong?"
"Not wrong," says Jared, letting him in. "Just surprising."
"So how are you feeling, anyway?" asks Chad, sprawling out on the couch.
"Still pretty crappy," Jared admits. "Misha made me promise to take tomorrow off too."
"Good. You never take time off, man, it's scary."
"Well, some of us actually need the money we make," Jared snaps, feeling a little irritable.
"Sorry, man," says Chad, sounding a little sheepish. "I didn't mean it like that. But--seriously, you should not be operating heavy machinery right now."
"Yeah, that's what Jensen said."
Chad clears his throat. "Yeah, uh, speaking of Jensen."
Jared blinks. "What about him?" He really has no idea what Chad, of all people, would have to say about Jensen.
Chad leans back on the couch, closing his eyes. "Some of the guys saw him pick you up yesterday. No one's saying he must be gay or anything, but everyone's a little bit curious about who he was and why he was all over you. I played dumb and neither confirmed nor denied, just said you were pretty out of it and needed the support. And that I didn't know who he was, probably a friend of yours."
"Oh," says Jared, mouth going dry. "Okay."
"Anyway, if you're not back around til Monday, maybe everybody'll just forget," Chad says, shrugging. "But I figured you'd want a heads-up so you can come up with a story, if you want one."
"What do you think they'd say?" asks Jared. "I mean, if they knew I was gay."
Chad shrugs. "Some of them would be assholes about it. But Jeff's the boss, and I think he'd be cool. And I think anyone who wasn't, he'd kick their ass to the curb. It's their problem, not yours." He glances over at Jared, clearly a little impressed. "You're seriously thinking about coming out at work? I didn't think you had it in you."
"My roommate is encouraging me to be more honest," says Jared. "I figure it's worth a shot."
"Huh," Chad says. "Jensen must be some guy."
"It's not really Jensen," Jared admits. "Don't get me wrong--he's awesome, I really like him. But something like this, it's kind of more about me, you know? I think it's about time to grow up." He looks over at Chad. "By the way, my parents disowned me for being gay and cut me off before I'd even graduated high school. I've been using that job to pay my way through community college."
It's easier than he thought it would be to say it, and Chad stares at him for a moment, slack-jawed.
"Shit," he finally says. "Dude, do you want my paycheck? You can have my paycheck. It's yours. I don't need it."
"You should save it," Jared says, smiling. "You might need it sometime."
Chad looks at Jared for another long moment, and then finally says. "So, your boyfriend. Good in bed?"
Jared laughs at that. "Dude, shut up."
Jensen calls and texts for updates on Jared's condition, until on Saturday night Jared assures him that he's feeling fine, and asks if he wants to have a picnic in the common on Sunday before his quartet plays.
"A picnic?" asks Jensen, sounding somewhere between amused and impressed. "Wow. That's romantic, Jared. I'm touched."
"Shut up," says Jared, laughing. "Or I take it back."
"No, no," says Jensen. "No takebacks. You are making me a picnic. The dog can come. It will be depressingly domestic." He pauses. "I should mention my friends are making fun of me for how into you I am after, like, two dates."
"I think me crashing in your bed should count as a date," Jared says, smirking even though Jensen can't see him. "Just saying."
"Great, three dates," Jensen says ruefully. "I'm sure that'll make Danneel stop teasing me." There's a pause. "I'm really glad you're feeling better. I'll meet you tomorrow?"
"Yeah," says Jared. "Noon?"
"Awesome."
Misha smirks as Jared hangs up. "You're adorable. You're like a Disney princess. I look forward to the inevitable musical number with woodland creatures. Actually, if you're going to the park for a picnic tomorrow, I assume that's when it will happen. Jensen's dog will sing backup."
"Shut up. I'm not going to sing about how I'm poor and my parents hate me."
"You're going to tell him?" Misha asks, straightening up.
"I figure it's about time, yeah," says Jared. He smiles. "If he thinks I'm not worth it, I want to know now, right?"
"He thinks you're adorable," Misha says. "You should have seen him watching you with his dog. He wants to snuggle you forever."
"I want to do more than snuggle him," Jared points out mildly.
"Really," says Misha, perking up.
"You sound surprised," says Jared, confused. "You thought I was dating him because my endgame was cuddles?"
"I just haven't heard you express much sexual interest in people," says Misha, shrugging. "You usually talk about relationships in very platonic terms."
"I've never had sex before," Jared says. "That doesn't mean I don't want to."
"I don't blame you," says Misha, nodding. "He's very pretty. I would make out with him if I was drunk and single and wanted to break your heart."
Jared snorts. "I'm glad you know exactly what circumstances would lead you to making out with Jensen."
"I generally know what circumstances would lead to me making out with anyone."
"Like me?" asks Jared.
"You'd just have to ask," says Misha, shrugging. "Why wouldn't I make out with you?"
Jared considers, and then closes his mouth, frowning. "I actually don't have an answer for that," he admits.
"You're a stud," Misha says dryly.
"Whatever," says Jared. "Leave me alone, I have to cook."
"Ooh, what are you cooking?" asks Misha. "Are you going to seduce him with food? What food? I'm very curious about your game."
"Sandwiches," says Jared. "And that potato salad I made last time Vicki had a barbecue. And lemonade, which I'm fresh-squeezing tomorrow."
"Classy," says Misha. "What kind of sandwiches?"
"Turkey and roast beef," says Jared. "Mostly because that's what I have. This is my I'm telling you I'm on a budget and can't afford to eat out but look how I can still give you awesome food date. I'm hoping it's going to work."
"I've had that potato salad, it will totally work," says Misha. He smiles at Jared. "This is a good idea, and I'm proud of you."
Jared smiles, nodding. "Yeah, I think so too. Thanks."
Jensen is already on the common when Jared arrives, tossing a tennis ball for a very enthusiastic Kal. It wasn't as if he looked unhappy before, but when he spots Jared his whole face lights up, and Jared feels a surge of fondness.
"Hey!" says Jensen, leaning up for a kiss once Jared's close enough. "You look so much better."
"Gee, thanks," says Jared, laughing.
Jensen rubs the back of his neck. "I just meant--I was worried."
"Relax, I was joking," says Jared, grinning. He reaches down to scratch Kal's ears. "Hi, boy."
"I think you like my dog more than me."
"Not more. About the same."
"Oh, now I feel better."
"Where do you want to eat? I brought a blanket."
"Wow, you really went all out. And here's good with me."
Together they get the blanket laid down and the dog settled with a bone Jensen brought, and Jared takes a deep breath, trying to psych himself up.
"I wanted to thank you for taking care of me the other day," says Jared, smiling. "I know I'm not exactly pleasant when I'm sick."
"You weren't unpleasant," says Jensen. "Just stubborn. And kind of stupid."
Jared smiles. "Yeah, I can't actually object to that," he says. "But--I wanted to try to explain, anyway. And I figured every explanation is better with food."
"Man after my own heart," Jensen agrees. "You don't have to explain anything, you know. I mean, I'd like you to, but--"
"I want to," says Jared. He smiles. "I like you. A lot. And--I'm always worrying when I meet new people that they won't like me if I tell them everything about myself, or they'll think of me differently. And I really want to stop worrying about that. So--" he licks his lips. "Do you want the roast beef sandwich or the turkey sandwich?"
"Turkey," says Jensen, only a little warily.
"Lemonade and potato salad?"
"Please."
Jared hands him a couple tupperware containers and an old water bottle filled with lemonade, smiling at Jensen's raised eyebrows.
"It's fresh-squeezed this morning," he says. "I just didn't have a nicer bottle for it."
"Wow," says Jensen, and he gives Jared a genuine smile. "This is really awesome, thanks."
Jared smiles. "Yeah, well, it's kind of food with an ulterior motive."
"Oh?" asks Jensen.
Jared licks his lips, and then takes a deep breath. "Okay, so--I guess I'll start at the beginning."
"Okay," says Jensen, voice gentle, encouraging, and he reaches over to squeeze Jared's hand lightly, just for comfort. Jared can't help smiling.
"I figured out I was gay in high school. My parents never really taught me it was wrong--they never really mentioned it at all." He smiles a little sadly, scratching behind Kal's ears. "I guess I figured if they were really against it, they'd be thumping bibles and talking about homosexuals were destroying the country. But--there wasn't anything like that. And I've always been honest with them. So I told them I was gay about halfway through my senior year of high school." He takes a deep breath. "And they threw me out and disowned me."
"Jared," Jensen breathes, and Jared can't look at him, or he'll probably start crying. He wants to get through this.
"Yeah," he says. "I came to Boston pretty much--by chance, I guess. Three years ago. I never even graduated high school. I wish I had, but--I didn't want to stay, you know? I didn't know what to do. I just got on the bus and rode it to Boston and thought it was as good a place as any. I stayed in a youth hostel for a few days, until I found Misha online, and he let me move in. I got a job, got my GED, enrolled in community college, but--I'm still living paycheck-to-paycheck, pretty much," he admits. "So I don't really take sick days, because I need the money. And I can't really afford to always go out for dinner, or to movies, but--I like picnics and DVDs. And I like you a lot." He licks his lips. "Oh, and I think classical music is kind of boring, but I still want to go to concerts with you and watch you play." He takes a deep breath. "So, yeah. That's me, I guess."
Jared doesn't look up until Jensen speaks, and he has no idea how long that is, because it feels like forever. When he finally does respond, his voice is soft. "I tried to read about engineering on wikipedia and got bored," he says. "But I like you anyway."
Jared almost can't believe he heard right, and snaps his head up. Jensen is smiling, wistful and even a little sad, and he leans over and gives Jared a slow, long kiss.
"I like DVDs, and picnics, and if I ever meet your parents I'm probably going to punch them. I can't believe anyone could do that to their kids. But I still really like you, Jared. And it's amazing, what you're doing."
"That's what Misha keeps telling me," Jared says, flushing.
"You might like the jazz quartet better," Jensen says, shifting closer and putting his arm around Jared's shoulders. "Classical isn't for everyone."
Jared smiles. "It's not bad, just--dull."
Jensen snorts. "See, that's just not true. Alona's concert was just the wrong classical music. We're gonna find something you like, man, trust me."
"Oh goodie," says Jared, laughing. "Sounds like fun."
Jensen grins, and leans in for another kiss. "You're looking forward to it." He sobers, reaching over to push a few strands of Jared's hair behind his ear. "Thanks," he says. "For telling me."
"I should have just told you in the first place," says Jared, shrugging a little awkwardly. "I just--it's tough to talk about."
"Yeah," says Jensen. "So, let's eat."
Jared smiles, ducking his head. He's so relieved he's a little dizzy with it--Jensen knows. Jensen knows and he doesn't mind.
And jazz violin? Isn't half bad.
Jared meets Jensen for coffee on Monday morning, buying him another ridiculous froofy drink.
"You know I don't get these because I can't afford them, right?" Jared asks.
"Yeah," says Jensen. "I'm going to keep buying them for you anyway," he says, shrugging. "Deal with it. You're my boyfriend, I get you coffee." He takes a sip of coffee, deliberately casual. "You're my boyfriend now, by the way."
Jared smiles. "So I heard."
"Glad we got that sorted out." Jensen yawns hugely. "So, you're coming out today, right?"
"Well, if anyone asks about you, I'm not going to lie. Does that count?"
"If you're stressed out and worried about getting punched, it counts." He smiles. "We still meeting at the library after you're done?"
Jared laughs. "I can't believe we have a date to read and do our homework together. That's sad."
"Or it means we're comfortable with each other and willing to work around each other's schedules to spend time together," says Jensen. "So it means we're awesome, pretty much." He glances at his watch. "I gotta go," he says, leaning over to give Jared a kiss. "I'll see you tonight? And good luck."
"Thanks," says Jared. "I'll walk out with you."
It's a nice day out--the first week of May, and not a cloud in the sky. Jared's job is going to suck when the nice weather ends, as he's learned it pretty much always does in Boston, but for now, it's a good day.
"Dude, look who's back from the dead," Chad says, when he sees Jared. "You look happy."
Jared smiles, stretches. He's a little tired, a little fragile, maybe a little worried. But he's better things too.
"Yeah," he says, nodding. "I think it's going to be a good day."