finally this is done and I can go buy Christmas cards.
Title: I Fought the Battle of Trinidad and Tobago
Author: chash
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles, Jensen Ackles/Danneel Harris (past), Jared/OMC
Rating: Hard R.
Warnings: None, I don't think?
Word Count: 7800.
Summary: Supernatural ended, Jensen Ackles got married, and Jared Padalecki went to college. The marriage didn't stick, but the college did.
Disclaimer: I make this shit up.
Notes: At some recent point, dontyouwaitup mentioned her sadness about there not being more long non-AU J2 fic and also reccea's In Production, which is long and amazing and kind of my favorite. And I was like OH MAN I should write a future fic. And I was planning for it to be really long, but then it was just this long. That kind of happened. I dunno.
Title from the song by Loney, Dear, which phrenk happened to send me yesterday, just as I was getting close to finishing this and was looking for a title.
Jared had no idea why he decided to write a thesis. He had vague recollections of feeling like he needed to prove himself as more than a pretty face, hazy memories of liking the sound of honors and high honors, and total certainty that Louis had encouraged him, possibly with alcohol.
The joke was on Louis now, because Jared had barely been home in a week, which meant Louis wasn't getting laid. To be totally honest, Jared hadn't really seen anyone in a week, other than librarians and other students who pretty much lived in the library. His current plan was to power through today, go out with Louis tonight, and drive home tomorrow for Thanksgiving. He wanted to get as much done as he could before finals so his entire Christmas break wasn't stressing about research.
Unfortunately, his head was swimming and his eyes hurt. He pulled off his reading glasses--of course, after years of making fun of Jensen's glasses, he would develop a need for his own--and rubbed the bridge of his nose with long fingers. He hated research, hated his topic, and hated himself. It shouldn't even have been crunch time, but it was, because Jared was stupid and bit off more than he could chew. It had never been a problem before, but he had never been an academic before.
His phone buzzed across the desk and the other students in the area immediately jerked up with confused glared. Jared grabbed it hurriedly, smiled sheepishly and waved, and headed to the stairs to pick up--probably Louis, wanting to ask about tomorrow night.
But when he glanced down at his phone, it wasn't Louis's name and photo flashing on his screen.
Jared hadn't seen Jensen since July, and hadn't spoken to Jensen for a couple weeks, not since Jensen called in the middle of midterms and Jared exploded at him, stressed out and plain annoyed. Jensen had sent a text that said: u call me 1st next time i <3 living :(
But here was Jensen on his phone, clear as day.
"Hey," he said, a little breathless. "What's up?"
"You gonna kill me?" asked Jensen. He sounded cheerful, optimistic, and Jared leaned into the wall and into Jensen's voice.
"Nah," he said. "I'm going crazy with this thesis, man. I could use the break."
"Your own fault for trying to learn," said Jensen. "Too good to be stupid like the rest of us?"
"Way too good for your lame ass, Ackles," Jared drawls back easily.
"Don't I know it," Jensen shot back. "So what's the problem now?"
Jensen didn't know a thing about engineering, but he was always happy to hear Jared talk about it. He listened uncomplainingly to pretty much whatever Jared wanted to talk about, from professors to boyfriends to mechanical inconsistency. From the few times he'd done it in person, Jared knew that Jensen would be smiling a little wistfully, a little fondly, just enjoying the sound of Jared's voice. The first time it had happened, he'd blushed and apologized, and Jensen had simply said, "Nah, man. It's just good to hear your voice."
Jared wound up his bitching with the usual: "Sorry, I'm talking your ear off." It was his way of signaling that he was through.
"Yeah, man, I was about to fall asleep," Jensen replied easily, just like he always did. Jared could feel the stress leaving his shoulders in waves; it was pathetic.
"So what's up?" Jared asked. "Couldn't last a whole month without my awesome?"
"Actually," Jensen said, clearing his throat. "It's about this summer."
Jared slumped a little. This was the call he'd been expecting for the last four years. It was stupid for a movie star to insist on spending one month a summer with his ex-actor ex-costar. Jensen was bound to stop eventually. "Yeah?" he asked, trying to sound bright.
"After graduation," said Jensen, "you should do a movie with me."
Jared blinked. "What?"
"You know, one of those things you used to be in for a living? Get a bunch of people together, pretend to be other people..."
"Jensen..." said Jared, unsure where he was going with it.
"Look, I've got ten good reasons for you to do this."
"Yeah? Let's hear them."
"One," said Jensen, clearly ready for the objection, "I'm awesome."
"I'm not sure about that."
"Silence. These are facts, not opinions. Two: the movie is awesome. Three: you're not gonna be in school anymore. Four: you'd be done by the end of the summer if you wanted to try for a real job. Five: you need money. Six: you get to act with me. Seven: I've never been as good with anyone as I was with you. Eight: buddy comedy. Nine: you miss acting. Ten: I miss you."
Jared swallowed. "You really thought a lot about this."
"What are you doing for Christmas?" asked Jensen.
Jared blinked into the subject change. "Sleeping?"
"Come to Richardson," Jensen said. "My mom says she hasn't seen you in years, and I can ply you with food and alcohol til you agree to make a movie with me."
"I dunno if my mom'll have that."
"Tell her I'll come to San Antonio for New Year's."
"You really miss me that much?"
"Once a year really doesn't cut it, man," said Jensen. "You're still my best friend."
Jared rested his head against the wall, resisting the urge to bang it there. "I'll see what I can do."
"You better. Good luck with the thesis, Jared."
"Yeah," said Jared. "Thanks."
He stared down at the phone until the display went black. Sighed and ran his hand through his hair as he tried to figure out who to call. Louis was clearly out of the question; Sandy was possible, but not the best with this stuff; Chad was pretty much always a disaster.
There was really only one option.
*
Jared heard about the divorce way before the papers did, of course--Jensen always told him things first, even after he started at A&M. Danneel waited to call him until everyone else heard about it though; Jared wasn't sure why.
He looked at his phone like it might attack him through four rings, but grabbed it just before it went to voicemail.
"I was going to leave you a message that said you were a pussy if you didn't pick up," said Danneel conversationally.
"Hi to you too," said Jared.
"What I wanted to say," she continued, "is that you should go for it."
Jared thought about pretending he had no clue what she was talking about. But that wasn't fair to Danneel. He'd always liked Danneel, even though he was in love with her boyfriend, then her fiance, and then her husband. It wasn't really Danneel's fault. She was a great girl.
Jared knew Jensen's side of the divorce--"we're better lovers than spouses, and betters friends than lovers," he'd said, or something equally weird and kind of melodramatic--but he hadn't talked to Danneel about it.
"That's not why I didn't," said Jared. "I mean, you weren't."
"It was part of it," she said. They'd never actually discussed Jared's feelings for Jensen, but he knew she'd always known. It had been strange for him, how little he'd minded it. "Don't tell me it wasn't."
Jared scrubbed his hand across his face. "The timing sucked," he said. "There was just--it wouldn't have worked."
"It would have," said Danneel. She snorted. "You know, some stupid magazine called me up to ask if you were a factor in the divorce."
Jared smiled a little. "That's what he gets for taking a month off to visit with me. What'd you say?"
"I wanted to hang up in his face for being so stupid," Danneel said, "but I figured he'd spin that into me being so bitter about Jensen's big gay love that I couldn't speak. So I told him no and answered all his questions and said you were awesome."
"Thanks."
"It wasn't about you," she said, not meanly. It was a fact, and they both knew it.
"So tell me your side," he said, leaning back.
"I think we're on the same side. He proposed too fast, not that either of us knew it. We'd never gotten the chance to really be a normal couple, you know? Never lived together before, never saw each other for more than a few nights. It turns out we're not that great at it."
"Yeah, that's what he said."
"You guys are good at that," she pointed out, like Jared didn't know.
"It's just a--"
"Don't lie to me, Jared."
Jared blew out a long breath. "Yeah. I'll--I don't know."
"I guess not," she granted. "But seriously, Jared--if you worry about hurting my feelings or anything like that? I will fly down to Texas and kick your ass."
Jared laughed. "I'm glad you're doing okay," he said.
"It's weird," she admitted, a little quiet. "But I'll be fine."
"I know you will," he agreed.
Danneel was always one of the strongest people he knew.
*
"Hey, Jared," said Danneel, voice light.
Jared had moved outside of the library, wanting fresh air and pretending it would help him think.
"Jensen asked me to be in a movie with him," he said without preamble.
"What movie?"
"Some buddy comedy he's doing this summer."
"I'm not surprised."
"I thought he'd wait longer."
"If he waited longer, you might have gotten another job. You know he misses you, right?"
"I know. He told me."
"Do you want to?" she asked. Danneel always got right to the point--Jared liked that. Sandy would have worried and tsked and been a mother hen, and Jared didn't need that right now. He needed blunt trauma.
"I don't know," he hedged.
"Bullshit," she replied. Jared didn't understand how Danneel got him so easily. At first he thought it was because they'd both loved Jensen, but he realized that he couldn't read her like she read him, so that couldn't be it. He had no clue. "Want me to spell it out for you?"
"Yes," he said. "Please."
"You're not committing to five years on a TV show, or even one year. It's a few months of filming. You miss acting, you miss Jensen, and if you ever want to come back to acting, this is the way to do it. Jensen's big enough that he draws crowds all by himself, and you know you're never as good as you are with him. And he's pretty much your favorite person in the whole fucking world, so you want an excuse to see him for more than a month every year."
It was exactly what Jensen was going to tell him at Christmas, Jared knew.
"Yeah," Jared admitted. "So I want to."
*
Jared had never been good at being with one person while he wanted another. It was what went wrong with Sandy--she started talking about the two of them going back to school after Supernatural finished, maybe, and Jared had realized he couldn't, in a flash, because then when would he see Jensen?
He'd broken up with her right then, and he was pretty sure the way he was freaking out and apologizing and near hysterics was part of why she didn't kick his ass as hard as he deserved. It had been clear, he knew, that this was new to him. That he hadn't been with her just waiting for something better to come along.
Louis was weird for Jared. Louis knew Jared was in love with Jensen--almost all his friends at A&M did, even though Jared hadn't told them. It had been one of those obvious things; once they realized he was in love with someone, it wasn't hard to figure out who.
Jared was discreet about his love life, for Jensen's sake. He only hooked up with women, really, because he knew his coming out would make Jensen's life suck; Jensen was a big enough deal and Jared was close enough to him that the paparazzi still cared a little about him. Jensen Ackles' BFF caught having sex would be one of those things that brought back stupid rumors about Jensen's divorce, his privacy. Jensen had never asked Jared to do that, never would, and Jared had never mentioned it; it was just what he did.
Louis was different.
It made Jared laugh to think of it now, because Louis--Louis had been a fan of Jensen's. Had been the TA in the philosophy class Jared took sophomore year to keep from doing all engineering, all the time. He'd just come up and said, "Hey, man, can you hook me up with Jensen Ackles?" so bold that Jared had to laugh.
"Don't think you're his type," Jared had said. "Too tall."
"Now that's a crying shame," said Louis, and introduced himself. He was a grad student, only two years younger than Jared, and he'd been nice to have around because Jared hadn't made a lot of friends yet. The eighteen- and nineteen-year-old students who were technically his peers knew him as that guy on TV, and the age difference and the not-yet-faded fame made things strange. Louis had taken him into the world of graduate students, and they were friends first. When junior year rolled around and Jared was looking for a new roommate, Louis just made sense.
When Jared had moved in with Jensen, he'd been hoping it would lead to sex; he had been hoping the opposite with Louis.
Jared's roommates never worked out like he wanted.
So yeah, Louis knew about Jensen. Jared was kind of an obvious guy when it came to Jensen. When he got calls from Jensen, his face lit up, he dropped everything, and he beamed for hours after.
He'd thought it was bad when they were on set together every day, but then it was normal. It was impossible to tell Jared-with-Jensen from regular Jared because they were always together.
Once Jensen was gone, it was obvious how much less Jared was by himself.
"This isn't going anywhere," said Jared, between kisses, the first time he hooked up with Louis.
"Reckon it's going to sex," said Louis.
"Yeah," Jared said. "Okay. It's going there."
Jared thought that would be it. Sometimes, they'd hook up. It wasn't going to be anything more. And Louis never said he wanted more. Jared knew he did, but it was fucked up. He'd try to talk about it, and Louis would say, "It's just sex, man," like that was the end of the conversation.
Like it was true.
*
It didn't actually blow up until the Thursday after Thanksgiving. Jared was in the apartment, for once, drinking orange juice out of the carton. Either Jensen or Louis hated when he did that, and he could never keep up with which it was. It scared him a little, that; he hated that it had been so long since he'd lived with Jensen that he couldn't remember that kind of stuff.
Louis didn't comment on the orange juice, which made Jared assume he didn't have a problem until Louis slammed a paper down on the table.
"What the hell is this," he said.
Jared had no idea, but the tightness in Louis's voice was a tipoff that he should. He scanned quickly, picked up the relevant words--Jensen Ackles, talking about Christmas. Specifically, his plans, with Jared.
Jesus, it must be a slow news week, was the first thing Jared thought. But he wasn't stupid enough to say it.
"It's my Christmas plans," he said.
"You said your mama was gonna kick your ass if you weren't home for Christmas this year," said Louis. Jared could hear the tension there, the way Louis was, pretty soon, going to snap.
Jared tried so fucking hard to not be the bad guy. He tried so fucking hard, every step, to say This is not going to be it for me. And here he was, a year later, feeling like a world-class dick because he did exactly what he told Louis he would from the beginning.
"I'm bringing Jensen for New Year's," said Jared, not looking up from the paper. Someone photoshopped a Santa hat on Jensen's head; his eyes were bright and green under it, strained in a way no one but Jared ever recognized. It was amazing, honestly, how bad Jensen was at smiling for the camera. He was a fucking movie star. "He hasn't been to my house in a while; mom's over the moon."
"He's never going to love you," said Louis.
That was kind of nice, actually, because that made Louis the asshole.
"But he's always going to be my best friend," said Jared. He pushed himself up; he was taller than Louis, and even though he wasn't as brawny as he had been during Supernatural, he could still take Louis if it came down to a fight. "God," he said, running his hand through his hair, because seriously, he was thinking about fighting his friend. "Okay, this just. This isn't good. It's not going to work and..." He shook his head. "I'm getting a hotel."
Louis didn't stop him, and Jared didn't expect him to.
*
Jared liked having money. He wasn't ridiculously rich or anything, but he had enough to do pretty much whatever he needed, enough to go to college and not work if he didn't want to and pay for a hotel if he had a fight with his kind of boyfriend. And enough to find another place for after break.
Right now, though, he wanted to be out of the hotel, out of College Station, and seeing Jensen.
It never had gotten weird with Jensen; Jared was still surprised by that. He thought that four years seeing each other once a month, and two more of him being in love with Jensen, would have made it impossible for them to just be them, but it wasn't. Within minutes of seeing each other, they were always back to being the two guys who'd clicked from the start.
When Jared was feeling optimistic, he thought that was just how love worked.
There was never any doubt in Jared's mind that Jensen loved him; he knew that he was, even now, the most important person in Jensen's world.
That just didn't mean Jensen wanted him like he wanted Jensen.
It was fine.
*
Jensen was in the yard, playing soccer with Josh's kids, when Jared arrived. He watched Jensen glance up at every car that passed as he got closer, waiting for the flash of recognition he knew was coming. The first moment Jensen saw him was always the best--the widening of eyes and the sudden, uncontrollable, brilliant smile.
Jared was barely out of the car before Josh's kids barreled into him. He hadn't seen either of them in a while, but they seemed to remember him fine, clinging to his legs and grinning.
"Hey," he said, hugging back, hoisting Lily up onto his shoulder as Jensen came over. "Good to see you guys."
Jensen pulled him into a hug, close and sure, and Jared relaxed into it, the stress of this whole fucking year draining out of him.
"Man," he said, pulling back reluctantly. "Do I need a beer."
"Alcoholic," Jensen said fondly. "Come on inside and say hi to the family first."
"If I must," said Jared with a sigh.
Jensen kept his arm slung around Jared's shoulder, warm and solid, the whole time. It always happened like that when they first saw each other again--they couldn't stand to stop touching each other, had to remind themselves they were together again.
*
"So what's wrong?" asked Jensen, uncapping a beer and handing it over. They were stretched out next to each other on Jensen's bed, their shoulders pressed together--Jensen's childhood room wasn't large, and the now queen-sized bed took up most of the room. It was the most privacy they could get in the house, and Jared appreciated the gesture so much it almost hurt. "Seriously, you look wrecked."
Jared sighed, leaned back against the headboard, enjoying the feel of it digging into his skull. "Where do I start?"
"It's not my fault, right?" asked Jensen. "Please don't tell me you're beating yourself up about me asking you to do a movie."
Jared laughed. "No, that's not it. That's really fine."
"Okay," Jensen agreed easily. "Just checking. So, school?"
"This thesis was a bad idea," Jared admitted. "I know--I'm smart, Jensen."
"Yeah, you are."
"I know I am too, and that's enough, right? That's supposed to be enough."
"But it's not."
"I feel like if I don't do the best fucking thesis in the world everyone is gonna think I'm just some pretty boy actor who decided to go to college in case he lost his job when his looks went away. But--I like engineering, you know? I mean, it's cool."
"Yeah," said Jensen.
"And--man, me and Louis had a fight."
"Everything okay?"
"I--it was never a thing for me, you know? He's a cool guy and a good friend, but it was just sex, and I told him. He flipped out when he saw I was coming here for Christmas."
"Why?"
"He wanted me to come see him. And it's just--we're not like that. And now we're probably not friends, and I need a new apartment." He leaned over to rest his head on Jensen's shoulder, feeling the softness of his sweater on his forehead.
Jensen dropped his hand into Jared's hair, ruffled it a little. "I'm sorry, man."
"This real life shit is stressful," said Jared. Then, softly, "Thanks for asking me up."
"Missed you, you gigantic weirdo."
"Yeah, yeah, you love me."
"You wish," Jensen shot back, and somehow it never hurt when he said that, even if it was true.
Jared just leaned for a minute before Jensen spoke again.
"Thanks, man," he said.
"Thanks?" asked Jared.
"I know why you don't have real boyfriends. Why you never hook up with guys in public--I know it's me, man. You caring about my rep or something. I'd tell you to stop if I thought you'd listen. So...thanks."
"That wasn't what went wrong with Louis, you know," Jared said. "But you're welcome."
There was another pause.
"So you're doing this movie, right?" asked Jensen.
"Yeah," breathed Jared. "I'm doing this movie."
*
Jensen had been a private guy since before he met Jared, but there was never any reason for him to be private about Jared. They spent all their time together, they did interviews together--it actually wasn't possible for Jensen to pretend they weren't friends. And being with Jared loosened Jensen up, made him laugh more, joke more, not care so much about the things he'd always worried about.
It was still true; Jensen never talked about his private life at all, except for Jared. All the paparazzi shots of him at bars were him with Jared, the two of them making idiots of themselves.
Jared wondered sometimes if any of those fans from Supernatural were still around, the ones who would ask them about their relationship, the ones who thought they were together. He wondered if they still thought that.
He wondered if any of thought that when Jensen proposed to Danneel, Jared applied to A&M in a fit of rage and spent the next four years at college, still desperately in love with Jensen Ackles.
*
"I can't fucking believe you do this."
"Hey, there are kids around," Mackenzie pointed out. "Their virgin ears."
"They're in the other room," Jared replied.
"Why wouldn't we do this?" asked Jensen. "It's a Christmas classic."
"We do this at my house, but we also watch 'A Very Supernatural Christmas' every year too."
"We should start doing that," said Jensen thoughtfully. "Whatever, you're pretty much family. And this is a family tradition. If I made any sappy Christmas movies about painters and their hometowns, we'd watch them. But since I didn't, we're stuck with your ugly mug."
"You should make a Christmas movie," said Jared. "You can be a frazzled single dad who's down on his luck and hates the holidays, and you find love with a beautiful Christmas elf who teaches you the joy of giving."
"My fist could find love with your face," Jensen threatened. "Sit down, shut up, and watch The Christmas Cottage."
And Jared did, because--this was what he wanted. Him and Jensen on the couch, surrounded by family, watching his movie because it was Christmas and watching movies at Christmas was what you did. And if Jensen kept making fun of him throughout the whole thing, that didn't matter. That was part of Christmas too.
*
After The Christmas Cottage, Jared insisted it was only fair that Jensen had to sit through one of his own movies, and Lily apparently loved the one Jensen and Danneel made together, the one that wasn't Ten Inch Hero. The one that had somehow launched Jensen into a career as a romantic lead, which made Jared snicker at him until he landed a role in a serious drama and got to be a respectable star.
Jared appreciated the way that somehow, Jensen and Danneel had been an amazing on-screen pair, and then they'd divorced.
Danneel and Jensen appreciated it too, so Jared didn't even have to feel guilty.
It was Christmas Eve, late and warm, and Jared was sleepy from his mugs of Irish hot chocolate, which Jensen insisted were festive. He teased Jensen as best he could, but he knew that for what it was, it wasn't a bad movie. Jensen was a good prince-charming type, Danneel was pretty and scatter-brained and down on her luck, and the two of them looked good together, looked real.
He ended up drifting off in a pile on the couch with Jensen, the kind of thing that shouldn't have been normal but somehow was for them.
Jensen's mom woke them up the next morning, a light shake of Jared's knee and a murmur of words. Jared's neck was stiff and he was pretty sure his cheek had Jensen's hair imprinted in it, a pattern of spikes.
"The kids want to open presents," Jensen's mom said softly.
Jared nodded, shook Jensen awake. Watched the flutter of long eyelashes, the rising awareness as Jensen stirred off his shoulder.
"Your dumb movie put us to sleep," said Jared fondly.
"Wasn't my idea to watch it," said Jensen, stretching.
Jared watched the sliver of exposed skin for only a second before he got up, stretching his legs. "Come on," he said. "Present time."
"Hope you got me something good," Jensen muttered.
"Coal all the way," said Jared. "Just like every year."
Jensen shoved him, grinning, and it helped a little, knowing that Jensen was never this happy with anyone else, never this easy. Just Jared, just the two of them.
*
Jared's mama was predictably thrilled when Jared drove home two days after Christmas with Jensen in shotgun. She'd always loved Jensen like her third son, and he laughed as she stood back, clearly torn between coming to hug them right away and holding back, dignified.
Megan had no such qualms.
"Thought you were too good for us, movie star," she said, grinning at Jensen. Jensen lifted her up and swung her around a little, the way Jared had seen him do with his own sister before they let.
"Just too good for Jared," Jensen confided. "Thought he might be offended if I came and saw you without him."
"Oh, screw Jared," said Megan cheerily.
"See if you get your Christmas present," Jared shot back, hugging her as soon as Jensen let her go.
"It better not be another Barbie."
"You love Barbie," Jared scoffed.
"What twenty-seven-year-old girl doesn't?" asked Jensen, making his way over to Jared's mother. "Merry Christmas, Mrs. Padalecki."
Jared could actually see his mom melting. "Now Jensen, you know very well it's Sherri."
Jensen smiled, hugged her, said something Jared couldn't hear.
Megan nudged him lightly. "So, that's still going on," she said, as if she didn't know.
"Yeah," said Jared. "That's still going on."
Megan shook her head. "I think you're an idiot for not telling him."
Jared shrugged. "Never the right time."
"What's wrong with now?"
Jared didn't have an answer for that.
*
The last time Jared and Jensen spent New Year's together, it had been season five, and they'd decided to go back to Vancouver because Tom had talked Rosenbaum into visiting. Jensen had been engaged to Danneel already, but that hadn't stopped him from kissing Jared at midnight, sloppy and drunk and so perfect Jared's heart had stopped.
Jensen had passed out pretty soon after, and Jared spent the next day making fun of him for being a lightweight, trying to ignore the tingling in his lips.
He wasn't getting his hopes up about this year, but he couldn't forget that. Jensen wasn't a casual kisser; he'd never been as comfortable with random physical affection as Jared was, even if being with Jared made him better at that stuff.
And they weren't in LA or even Vancouver, they were at Jared's house, so it wasn't like they were planning to get rip-roaring drunk like they would with Rosenbaum.
So it was stupid for Jared to be sitting next to Jensen on the couch with Megan and Jeff and his wife and a pile of kids on the floor in front of them, his hands sweating, like he was in junior high and on his first date. He half-expected he'd lose control of his limbs and try doing that yawn-arm-around-the-shoulders thing that he had only actually seen attempted by fictional characters and never by actual human beings.
Jensen was close enough to be a warm presence by his side, and Jared couldn't say he was actually surprised when, about fifteen minutes before midnight, Jeff and Kelly got up to carry the kids to bed and Megan offered to help. It wasn't absolutely the most blatant way they could have picked to leave Jared alone with Jensen, but that was only because signs and smoke signals weren't involved.
If Jensen noticed, he didn't comment on it.
"How is Dick Clark still alive?" asked Jared, because it felt quieter with everyone gone, even if no one had been talking before.
"I dunno," Jensen replied, grinning. "We should have had a very special Supernatural where Dean and Sam hunted him."
Jared snorted into his beer. It was his third, and he'd had some wine with dinner, so he wasn't drunk, but he was feeling warm and happy, alcohol settled in his gut like an old friend. "Aren't you supposed to be at some big party throwing up on your anorexic date?" he asked. "Seriously, Jensen."
Jensen shrugged. "You know me, man. I'm never that happy at Hollywood things."
"When your career dies of hanging out with me, you better not be pissed."
"Yeah, I'll hunt you down," Jensen laughed.
The countdown was starting. Jared sighed. "Why don't we have our own Dick Clark? Watching time-delayed New Years is kind of lame."
"You want to clone him too now?" asked Jensen.
"Man, army of Dick Clarks, that'd be--" and then Jensen leaned over and kissed him.
It wasn't quite midnight yet, but by the time they'd lined up their lips and adjusted angles, Jared could faintly hear Aude Lang Syne. Not that he actually cared, because Jensen had his hand on Jared's face, his tongue in Jared's mouth. He could taste alcohol in Jensen's mouth, but he didn't care because he could taste Jensen too, didn't care because this was nothing like four years ago. Jensen wasn't stopping, Jensen was repositioning, kissing him more, deeper, and Jared never wanted it to stop, never wanted anything else in the world.
Part of him knew they were on his parents' couch, and that anyone in his family could walk in at any time, but that part wasn't enough to keep him from trying to lean back, pull Jensen over him, reposition so that this would get better.
But Jensen laughed a little and pulled away, looking happy but stopping anyway. Jared's head was spinning and he had no idea why any of this was happening--alcohol and kissing Jensen fucking Ackles were conspiring to destroy his brain.
Jensen kissed him again, chaste and fast.
"Happy New Year, Jared."
And then he got up and left.
*
Jared didn't often wish that real life was more like TV and movies. But he fucking wished all the time that he had a fade-to-black button, so instead of spending half the night stressing out about making out with his best friend/unrequited love/whatever, it would just be the morning, and he would be able to talk to Jensen about what the fuck happened there.
But the world persistently continued, time moving at its normal pace, until Jared finally passed out, only to be woken up however much later by nieces bouncing on his stomach.
"We're going to the park," said Carly happily. "And dad says you have to come no matter how hung over you are."
"But you're not hanging right now anyway," Alissa added. "So he doesn't have to worry, right?"
Carly sighed exaggeratedly. "That's not what that means. Anyways, come on, Uncle Jared! If we wait much longer mom'll make us go after lunch and I wanna get McDonald's."
"All right, all right," Jared grumbled. "Get off me, I'm coming."
The girls scampered out with the kind of energy Jared could never feel after he'd been drinking. Normally he was all about running around with his nieces, but normally he and Jensen hadn't made out on his parents' couch the night before, so Jared thought he was pretty justified in his general lethargy.
When he got to the kitchen, Jensen was already at the table sipping coffee.
"My autobiography is still going to be called Waiting for Jared, you know," said Jensen, throwing him a look.
"I'm here," said Jared.
It didn't come out like he meant it to.
*
The thing was, Jared was scared shitless of losing Jensen. It didn't make sense, because Jared had had a hissy fit and quit acting and he hadn't lost Jensen, and if their friendship could survive that, if Jensen had been willing to throw away movies for Jared even before he could afford it, even when it was still a question if he'd really make it big, then Jared should have been sure he wouldn't lose Jensen now. Especially because Jensen kissed him, really kissed him. Jensen had started it, so there was no reason for Jared to freak out and decide Jensen didn't want to be his friend.
Jared wanted to talk about it, he really did. But there was a part of him that couldn't help thinking that if they never did talk about it, then nothing could go wrong. They could chalk it up to a mistake and keep going as they always had, and Jared wouldn't lose Jensen.
"Hey," said Jensen, interrupting Jared's internal freakout with words.
"Hey. Did I see you signing autographs?" he asked, blinking up at Jensen. The sun was behind him, so he couldn't make out his expression. Of course.
He could see the easy shrug of Jensen's shoulders as he answered. "They asked." He sat down next to Jared on the bench, stretched his legs and sipped his coffee.
"So good to your fans," said Jared, smiling.
"Whatever, I know you still sign autographs for whoever asks."
"All five of them," agreed Jared. "And three of them are just using me to get to you."
"It's cuz I'm cooler than you."
"They're just using you to get to Danneel."
"Can't blame 'em," said Jensen. "You talk to her recently?"
"A little at Christmas," Jared said. He didn't mention the call when Jensen asked him about the movie. "You?"
"Same."
"I thought she might come down," said Jared. He knew Jensen's family still loved Danneel--hell, Jensen still loved Danneel. Every few months there would be a magazine cover article about how they were reconciling. The first few times, Jared called Jensen up to tease him about it, but it happened so often it had actually gotten old.
"She knew you were coming down," said Jensen, as if that explained everything. He took another sip of coffee. "Are we talking about this?"
Jared stretched. "If you want."
"It's not like you're the most subtle guy in the world," said Jensen finally.
"So you thought you'd try it out?" asked Jared. He was fighting to keep his voice even, because Jensen's was. They were all friends here.
"No, I wouldn't--God, Jared, you don't think I'd do that, do you?"
"You're doing a lot of things I didn't really think you'd do these days."
"God, we should've just had sex," said Jensen, sighing. "It would've been way easier."
Jared put all his focus on breathing for a few seconds. "You calling me easy, Ackles?"
"You seemed pretty easy last night."
"You started it."
Jensen sighed. "If you missed that I'm in love with you, I don't know what to tell you, Jared."
The world stopped for a minute.
"You could've said something earlier," he managed finally.
"I visit you for your birthday every year. I turn down parts to come out for your birthday, Jared."
"You did that when you were married."
"Yeah," said Jensen. "That probably should have tipped me off."
"How long have you known?"
"A while. But, uh...you had a boyfriend."
"God, that was such a fucking mistake."
Jensen laughed. "So, you want to?"
Jared almost asked what Jensen met, until he realized he didn't care. "Yeah," he said. "I do."
*
"You suck at having a career," said Jared, poking Jensen as he dragged his suitcase into the new apartment.
"But I'm going to be awesome at having a boyfriend."
"Seriously," said Jared. "If you keep turning down movies for me I'm going to be pissed."
"I didn't have anything before, genius," said Jensen, rolling his eyes. "I've got a ton of press stuff for a few months. I don't have time to make a movie."
"Good, because I don't love you more than my thesis."
"Yeah, you do."
"Not until it's done, I don't," Jared shot back.
Jensen shook his head, clearly confident.
In all honestly, Jared was having a little trouble. Everything with him and Jensen had always had this confusing pace, the way it felt like they'd been together forever and like they were moving too quickly at the same time, because no one had ever been the same to Jared as Jensen.
They hadn't even done anything yet--a little necking at New Year's, but Jared wasn't very good at sex in his parents' house, and Jensen was even worse at it--and Jared already felt like it was too much, like it wasn't possible to dream about something so long and then get it so easily. Jared couldn't help feeling like it was anticlimactic, like something more had to happen before it was real.
"You're secretly a girl, aren't you?" Jensen had asked, when Jared mentioned this. "That's a shame. I was really looking forward to sucking your dick."
Jared had promptly tripped over himself and forgotten all his issues because he was busy thinking about Jensen blowing him.
Jared wanted to just be happy, and part of him was, but part of it felt impossible, like the plot of every bad chick flick. The big Hollywood actor moving out of LA for months and ignoring his career while his boyfriend finished school, and then the two of them making a movie together.
Jensen shoved his head as he walked by with a box for the kitchen. "Dude, I can hear you stressing."
"Thesis," said Jared casually.
"Uh huh," said Jensen.
"It's just--fast."
"Jared," said Jensen, with his patient voice that signaled he thought Jared was insane. "We lived together for two years. And then I divorced my wife because living with her wasn't as good as living with you. And it's been four years since that happened. We're slow."
And Jared thought, Fine. Jared thought this was it, this was how it was supposed to be, and this was how it was going to be. It was Christmas, and he hadn't been a particularly good boy last year, but he was getting the best present ever anyway, and he might as well take it.
So he stalked into the kitchen, took the box from Jensen and kicked it across the floor, and kissed Jensen hard.
"Weirdo," Jensen muttered against his lips, but he kissed back, fast and hard and without any of the hesitation they'd had when Jared's family could have walked in at any moment.
They hadn't put sheets on the bed yet and the mattress was scratchy and foreign, but Jared could have cared less about that. Because if this turned out to be some kind of horrible mistake, he wanted it to be a really good mistake. He pressed Jensen down and kissed him fast and sloppy as he worked at their pants.
"Jared," said Jensen, laughing a little. "Slow down. I'm not going anywhere."
Jared didn't actually know how to make himself believe that.
Gently, strangely, Jensen pushed him so their positions were reversed, so Jensen was on top of him and in control, and Jensen was slow. Stupidly, Jared thought of Supernatural, thought of teasing Jensen for weeks about how Dean was so careful and caring, and now he couldn't help thinking maybe that was art imitating life, how maybe Jensen was always like this.
But he wanted to think it was him that made Jensen want to slow down. Made Jensen want to appreciate.
Jensen kissed down his chest, smoothed Jared's skin with his hands. Jared wasn't ripped like he used to be, wasn't all muscle and tan like he was during Supernatural. Jensen might have been more ripped now--his movies these days called for more shirtless scenes than Supernatural ever had. Jared found himself glad for the differences, glad that nothing about them was the same except that they cared more about each other than they'd ever cared about anything else in the world.
Jensen nuzzled under his bellybutton, breath ghosting over his jeans, and Jared squirmed. He felt like he'd been hard for hours, and he kind of had been--no matter how much he jerked off at home he couldn't help remembering that Jensen wanted him, and that was the biggest turn-on of his life.
"Have you ever," Jared asked, as Jensen pulled down his jeans and boxers. Jensen's fly was open, but other than that he was fully clothed and Jared was totally naked. It was way hotter than it should have been, but it was Jensen.
"Few times," said Jensen, grinning. "Think I'm gonna start doing it a lot more."
"Yeah," Jared managed. "You better."
Jared knew he wasn't the only person in the world who fantasized regularly about getting blown by Jensen Ackles. But he thought he might hold the record for having the most fantasies about getting blown by Jensen Ackles, because he started before Jensen hit it big and hasn't fantasized about anyone else since, including when other guys were blowing him.
Jensen clearly hadn't given as many blowjobs as some people, but he was enthusiastic and great at suppressing his gag reflex, and he was Jensen, which counted for a lot. Jared gripped the back of Jensen's head, rubbing the smooth skin behind his ear and biting his bottom lip to keep from being too loud, because probably the best first impression for the neighbors was not Jared screaming Jensen's name.
Even if they would have been impressed that Jensen Ackles was living in their building.
Jensen pulled off with a pop and started kissing and licking down Jared's shaft, taking a minute to suck at his balls before moving back, and apparently just the thought of Jensen's tongue in his ass was enough to have Jared coming hard, gasping out Jensen's name and slamming against the headboard.
Jared dragged Jensen up to kiss him, working his hand between them, feeling the cum rubbing onto Jensen's shirt as they lie against each other. He jerked Jensen off fast and dirty, barely bothering to get Jensen's dick out his boxers before he had him coming.
They panted against each other for a long moment, not kissing so much as existing with their mouths together, and then Jared felt Jensen smirk.
"Your thesis is going to suck."
"Shut up," Jared muttered.
*
It worked out. It worked better than it had any right to, actually--it shouldn't have been easy and it was, and Jared slowly accepted that maybe it was because it was right and not because it was all going to blow up in his face.
"Of course it's right," said Jensen, drinking orange juice straight from the carton. "Everyone in the western world saw this coming."
"Yeah, since when have they been right?" asked Jared.
"College boy thinks he's so smart."
"You're just jealous I've got brains and looks."
"You've got a look. I dunno if I'd call it a good look."
"I hate you," said Jared, swiping the orange juice for a long swig. "You in LA this weekend?"
"Premiere party for The Edge of the World. Wanna come?"
"Thesis," said Jared.
"Sometimes I think you're ashamed to be seen with me."
"It's cuz I'm so ugly," said Jared easily. "I don't wanna bring down your reputation."
"You're all heart, Jared."
"That's me," Jared agreed. "I gotta go to class."
"Yeah, go learn," said Jensen, waving his hand. "Don't forget, next weekend you gotta do LA with me. Meeting about the movie."
"I figured once we were having sex you wouldn't make me act with you," Jared grumbled. "If you divorce me as soon as our movie gets successful, I'm going to go marry Danneel."
"That'd be hot," said Jensen thoughtfully. "I'll think about it."
Jared was planning to shove him, he really was, but he ended up pulling him in for a kiss instead. Weirdest thing.
"See you later," he said, pulling away because class was, definitely, more important than sex. Definitely.
"Bye," said Jensen, with a smirk and a wave.
Jared would never admit to Jensen that he found himself whistling on the way to class, but he did most days now. It was warm and sunny, a perfect January day in Texas, his thesis was going to be awesome, and he was dating Jensen fucking Ackles.
Jared was the envy of teenage girls everywhere.
Except for maybe the awesome engineering thesis part. Teenage girls wished they rocked as much as Jared did at thermodynamics and blowjobs.
Author: chash
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles, Jensen Ackles/Danneel Harris (past), Jared/OMC
Rating: Hard R.
Warnings: None, I don't think?
Word Count: 7800.
Summary: Supernatural ended, Jensen Ackles got married, and Jared Padalecki went to college. The marriage didn't stick, but the college did.
Disclaimer: I make this shit up.
Notes: At some recent point, dontyouwaitup mentioned her sadness about there not being more long non-AU J2 fic and also reccea's In Production, which is long and amazing and kind of my favorite. And I was like OH MAN I should write a future fic. And I was planning for it to be really long, but then it was just this long. That kind of happened. I dunno.
Title from the song by Loney, Dear, which phrenk happened to send me yesterday, just as I was getting close to finishing this and was looking for a title.
Jared had no idea why he decided to write a thesis. He had vague recollections of feeling like he needed to prove himself as more than a pretty face, hazy memories of liking the sound of honors and high honors, and total certainty that Louis had encouraged him, possibly with alcohol.
The joke was on Louis now, because Jared had barely been home in a week, which meant Louis wasn't getting laid. To be totally honest, Jared hadn't really seen anyone in a week, other than librarians and other students who pretty much lived in the library. His current plan was to power through today, go out with Louis tonight, and drive home tomorrow for Thanksgiving. He wanted to get as much done as he could before finals so his entire Christmas break wasn't stressing about research.
Unfortunately, his head was swimming and his eyes hurt. He pulled off his reading glasses--of course, after years of making fun of Jensen's glasses, he would develop a need for his own--and rubbed the bridge of his nose with long fingers. He hated research, hated his topic, and hated himself. It shouldn't even have been crunch time, but it was, because Jared was stupid and bit off more than he could chew. It had never been a problem before, but he had never been an academic before.
His phone buzzed across the desk and the other students in the area immediately jerked up with confused glared. Jared grabbed it hurriedly, smiled sheepishly and waved, and headed to the stairs to pick up--probably Louis, wanting to ask about tomorrow night.
But when he glanced down at his phone, it wasn't Louis's name and photo flashing on his screen.
Jared hadn't seen Jensen since July, and hadn't spoken to Jensen for a couple weeks, not since Jensen called in the middle of midterms and Jared exploded at him, stressed out and plain annoyed. Jensen had sent a text that said: u call me 1st next time i <3 living :(
But here was Jensen on his phone, clear as day.
"Hey," he said, a little breathless. "What's up?"
"You gonna kill me?" asked Jensen. He sounded cheerful, optimistic, and Jared leaned into the wall and into Jensen's voice.
"Nah," he said. "I'm going crazy with this thesis, man. I could use the break."
"Your own fault for trying to learn," said Jensen. "Too good to be stupid like the rest of us?"
"Way too good for your lame ass, Ackles," Jared drawls back easily.
"Don't I know it," Jensen shot back. "So what's the problem now?"
Jensen didn't know a thing about engineering, but he was always happy to hear Jared talk about it. He listened uncomplainingly to pretty much whatever Jared wanted to talk about, from professors to boyfriends to mechanical inconsistency. From the few times he'd done it in person, Jared knew that Jensen would be smiling a little wistfully, a little fondly, just enjoying the sound of Jared's voice. The first time it had happened, he'd blushed and apologized, and Jensen had simply said, "Nah, man. It's just good to hear your voice."
Jared wound up his bitching with the usual: "Sorry, I'm talking your ear off." It was his way of signaling that he was through.
"Yeah, man, I was about to fall asleep," Jensen replied easily, just like he always did. Jared could feel the stress leaving his shoulders in waves; it was pathetic.
"So what's up?" Jared asked. "Couldn't last a whole month without my awesome?"
"Actually," Jensen said, clearing his throat. "It's about this summer."
Jared slumped a little. This was the call he'd been expecting for the last four years. It was stupid for a movie star to insist on spending one month a summer with his ex-actor ex-costar. Jensen was bound to stop eventually. "Yeah?" he asked, trying to sound bright.
"After graduation," said Jensen, "you should do a movie with me."
Jared blinked. "What?"
"You know, one of those things you used to be in for a living? Get a bunch of people together, pretend to be other people..."
"Jensen..." said Jared, unsure where he was going with it.
"Look, I've got ten good reasons for you to do this."
"Yeah? Let's hear them."
"One," said Jensen, clearly ready for the objection, "I'm awesome."
"I'm not sure about that."
"Silence. These are facts, not opinions. Two: the movie is awesome. Three: you're not gonna be in school anymore. Four: you'd be done by the end of the summer if you wanted to try for a real job. Five: you need money. Six: you get to act with me. Seven: I've never been as good with anyone as I was with you. Eight: buddy comedy. Nine: you miss acting. Ten: I miss you."
Jared swallowed. "You really thought a lot about this."
"What are you doing for Christmas?" asked Jensen.
Jared blinked into the subject change. "Sleeping?"
"Come to Richardson," Jensen said. "My mom says she hasn't seen you in years, and I can ply you with food and alcohol til you agree to make a movie with me."
"I dunno if my mom'll have that."
"Tell her I'll come to San Antonio for New Year's."
"You really miss me that much?"
"Once a year really doesn't cut it, man," said Jensen. "You're still my best friend."
Jared rested his head against the wall, resisting the urge to bang it there. "I'll see what I can do."
"You better. Good luck with the thesis, Jared."
"Yeah," said Jared. "Thanks."
He stared down at the phone until the display went black. Sighed and ran his hand through his hair as he tried to figure out who to call. Louis was clearly out of the question; Sandy was possible, but not the best with this stuff; Chad was pretty much always a disaster.
There was really only one option.
*
Jared heard about the divorce way before the papers did, of course--Jensen always told him things first, even after he started at A&M. Danneel waited to call him until everyone else heard about it though; Jared wasn't sure why.
He looked at his phone like it might attack him through four rings, but grabbed it just before it went to voicemail.
"I was going to leave you a message that said you were a pussy if you didn't pick up," said Danneel conversationally.
"Hi to you too," said Jared.
"What I wanted to say," she continued, "is that you should go for it."
Jared thought about pretending he had no clue what she was talking about. But that wasn't fair to Danneel. He'd always liked Danneel, even though he was in love with her boyfriend, then her fiance, and then her husband. It wasn't really Danneel's fault. She was a great girl.
Jared knew Jensen's side of the divorce--"we're better lovers than spouses, and betters friends than lovers," he'd said, or something equally weird and kind of melodramatic--but he hadn't talked to Danneel about it.
"That's not why I didn't," said Jared. "I mean, you weren't."
"It was part of it," she said. They'd never actually discussed Jared's feelings for Jensen, but he knew she'd always known. It had been strange for him, how little he'd minded it. "Don't tell me it wasn't."
Jared scrubbed his hand across his face. "The timing sucked," he said. "There was just--it wouldn't have worked."
"It would have," said Danneel. She snorted. "You know, some stupid magazine called me up to ask if you were a factor in the divorce."
Jared smiled a little. "That's what he gets for taking a month off to visit with me. What'd you say?"
"I wanted to hang up in his face for being so stupid," Danneel said, "but I figured he'd spin that into me being so bitter about Jensen's big gay love that I couldn't speak. So I told him no and answered all his questions and said you were awesome."
"Thanks."
"It wasn't about you," she said, not meanly. It was a fact, and they both knew it.
"So tell me your side," he said, leaning back.
"I think we're on the same side. He proposed too fast, not that either of us knew it. We'd never gotten the chance to really be a normal couple, you know? Never lived together before, never saw each other for more than a few nights. It turns out we're not that great at it."
"Yeah, that's what he said."
"You guys are good at that," she pointed out, like Jared didn't know.
"It's just a--"
"Don't lie to me, Jared."
Jared blew out a long breath. "Yeah. I'll--I don't know."
"I guess not," she granted. "But seriously, Jared--if you worry about hurting my feelings or anything like that? I will fly down to Texas and kick your ass."
Jared laughed. "I'm glad you're doing okay," he said.
"It's weird," she admitted, a little quiet. "But I'll be fine."
"I know you will," he agreed.
Danneel was always one of the strongest people he knew.
*
"Hey, Jared," said Danneel, voice light.
Jared had moved outside of the library, wanting fresh air and pretending it would help him think.
"Jensen asked me to be in a movie with him," he said without preamble.
"What movie?"
"Some buddy comedy he's doing this summer."
"I'm not surprised."
"I thought he'd wait longer."
"If he waited longer, you might have gotten another job. You know he misses you, right?"
"I know. He told me."
"Do you want to?" she asked. Danneel always got right to the point--Jared liked that. Sandy would have worried and tsked and been a mother hen, and Jared didn't need that right now. He needed blunt trauma.
"I don't know," he hedged.
"Bullshit," she replied. Jared didn't understand how Danneel got him so easily. At first he thought it was because they'd both loved Jensen, but he realized that he couldn't read her like she read him, so that couldn't be it. He had no clue. "Want me to spell it out for you?"
"Yes," he said. "Please."
"You're not committing to five years on a TV show, or even one year. It's a few months of filming. You miss acting, you miss Jensen, and if you ever want to come back to acting, this is the way to do it. Jensen's big enough that he draws crowds all by himself, and you know you're never as good as you are with him. And he's pretty much your favorite person in the whole fucking world, so you want an excuse to see him for more than a month every year."
It was exactly what Jensen was going to tell him at Christmas, Jared knew.
"Yeah," Jared admitted. "So I want to."
*
Jared had never been good at being with one person while he wanted another. It was what went wrong with Sandy--she started talking about the two of them going back to school after Supernatural finished, maybe, and Jared had realized he couldn't, in a flash, because then when would he see Jensen?
He'd broken up with her right then, and he was pretty sure the way he was freaking out and apologizing and near hysterics was part of why she didn't kick his ass as hard as he deserved. It had been clear, he knew, that this was new to him. That he hadn't been with her just waiting for something better to come along.
Louis was weird for Jared. Louis knew Jared was in love with Jensen--almost all his friends at A&M did, even though Jared hadn't told them. It had been one of those obvious things; once they realized he was in love with someone, it wasn't hard to figure out who.
Jared was discreet about his love life, for Jensen's sake. He only hooked up with women, really, because he knew his coming out would make Jensen's life suck; Jensen was a big enough deal and Jared was close enough to him that the paparazzi still cared a little about him. Jensen Ackles' BFF caught having sex would be one of those things that brought back stupid rumors about Jensen's divorce, his privacy. Jensen had never asked Jared to do that, never would, and Jared had never mentioned it; it was just what he did.
Louis was different.
It made Jared laugh to think of it now, because Louis--Louis had been a fan of Jensen's. Had been the TA in the philosophy class Jared took sophomore year to keep from doing all engineering, all the time. He'd just come up and said, "Hey, man, can you hook me up with Jensen Ackles?" so bold that Jared had to laugh.
"Don't think you're his type," Jared had said. "Too tall."
"Now that's a crying shame," said Louis, and introduced himself. He was a grad student, only two years younger than Jared, and he'd been nice to have around because Jared hadn't made a lot of friends yet. The eighteen- and nineteen-year-old students who were technically his peers knew him as that guy on TV, and the age difference and the not-yet-faded fame made things strange. Louis had taken him into the world of graduate students, and they were friends first. When junior year rolled around and Jared was looking for a new roommate, Louis just made sense.
When Jared had moved in with Jensen, he'd been hoping it would lead to sex; he had been hoping the opposite with Louis.
Jared's roommates never worked out like he wanted.
So yeah, Louis knew about Jensen. Jared was kind of an obvious guy when it came to Jensen. When he got calls from Jensen, his face lit up, he dropped everything, and he beamed for hours after.
He'd thought it was bad when they were on set together every day, but then it was normal. It was impossible to tell Jared-with-Jensen from regular Jared because they were always together.
Once Jensen was gone, it was obvious how much less Jared was by himself.
"This isn't going anywhere," said Jared, between kisses, the first time he hooked up with Louis.
"Reckon it's going to sex," said Louis.
"Yeah," Jared said. "Okay. It's going there."
Jared thought that would be it. Sometimes, they'd hook up. It wasn't going to be anything more. And Louis never said he wanted more. Jared knew he did, but it was fucked up. He'd try to talk about it, and Louis would say, "It's just sex, man," like that was the end of the conversation.
Like it was true.
*
It didn't actually blow up until the Thursday after Thanksgiving. Jared was in the apartment, for once, drinking orange juice out of the carton. Either Jensen or Louis hated when he did that, and he could never keep up with which it was. It scared him a little, that; he hated that it had been so long since he'd lived with Jensen that he couldn't remember that kind of stuff.
Louis didn't comment on the orange juice, which made Jared assume he didn't have a problem until Louis slammed a paper down on the table.
"What the hell is this," he said.
Jared had no idea, but the tightness in Louis's voice was a tipoff that he should. He scanned quickly, picked up the relevant words--Jensen Ackles, talking about Christmas. Specifically, his plans, with Jared.
Jesus, it must be a slow news week, was the first thing Jared thought. But he wasn't stupid enough to say it.
"It's my Christmas plans," he said.
"You said your mama was gonna kick your ass if you weren't home for Christmas this year," said Louis. Jared could hear the tension there, the way Louis was, pretty soon, going to snap.
Jared tried so fucking hard to not be the bad guy. He tried so fucking hard, every step, to say This is not going to be it for me. And here he was, a year later, feeling like a world-class dick because he did exactly what he told Louis he would from the beginning.
"I'm bringing Jensen for New Year's," said Jared, not looking up from the paper. Someone photoshopped a Santa hat on Jensen's head; his eyes were bright and green under it, strained in a way no one but Jared ever recognized. It was amazing, honestly, how bad Jensen was at smiling for the camera. He was a fucking movie star. "He hasn't been to my house in a while; mom's over the moon."
"He's never going to love you," said Louis.
That was kind of nice, actually, because that made Louis the asshole.
"But he's always going to be my best friend," said Jared. He pushed himself up; he was taller than Louis, and even though he wasn't as brawny as he had been during Supernatural, he could still take Louis if it came down to a fight. "God," he said, running his hand through his hair, because seriously, he was thinking about fighting his friend. "Okay, this just. This isn't good. It's not going to work and..." He shook his head. "I'm getting a hotel."
Louis didn't stop him, and Jared didn't expect him to.
*
Jared liked having money. He wasn't ridiculously rich or anything, but he had enough to do pretty much whatever he needed, enough to go to college and not work if he didn't want to and pay for a hotel if he had a fight with his kind of boyfriend. And enough to find another place for after break.
Right now, though, he wanted to be out of the hotel, out of College Station, and seeing Jensen.
It never had gotten weird with Jensen; Jared was still surprised by that. He thought that four years seeing each other once a month, and two more of him being in love with Jensen, would have made it impossible for them to just be them, but it wasn't. Within minutes of seeing each other, they were always back to being the two guys who'd clicked from the start.
When Jared was feeling optimistic, he thought that was just how love worked.
There was never any doubt in Jared's mind that Jensen loved him; he knew that he was, even now, the most important person in Jensen's world.
That just didn't mean Jensen wanted him like he wanted Jensen.
It was fine.
*
Jensen was in the yard, playing soccer with Josh's kids, when Jared arrived. He watched Jensen glance up at every car that passed as he got closer, waiting for the flash of recognition he knew was coming. The first moment Jensen saw him was always the best--the widening of eyes and the sudden, uncontrollable, brilliant smile.
Jared was barely out of the car before Josh's kids barreled into him. He hadn't seen either of them in a while, but they seemed to remember him fine, clinging to his legs and grinning.
"Hey," he said, hugging back, hoisting Lily up onto his shoulder as Jensen came over. "Good to see you guys."
Jensen pulled him into a hug, close and sure, and Jared relaxed into it, the stress of this whole fucking year draining out of him.
"Man," he said, pulling back reluctantly. "Do I need a beer."
"Alcoholic," Jensen said fondly. "Come on inside and say hi to the family first."
"If I must," said Jared with a sigh.
Jensen kept his arm slung around Jared's shoulder, warm and solid, the whole time. It always happened like that when they first saw each other again--they couldn't stand to stop touching each other, had to remind themselves they were together again.
*
"So what's wrong?" asked Jensen, uncapping a beer and handing it over. They were stretched out next to each other on Jensen's bed, their shoulders pressed together--Jensen's childhood room wasn't large, and the now queen-sized bed took up most of the room. It was the most privacy they could get in the house, and Jared appreciated the gesture so much it almost hurt. "Seriously, you look wrecked."
Jared sighed, leaned back against the headboard, enjoying the feel of it digging into his skull. "Where do I start?"
"It's not my fault, right?" asked Jensen. "Please don't tell me you're beating yourself up about me asking you to do a movie."
Jared laughed. "No, that's not it. That's really fine."
"Okay," Jensen agreed easily. "Just checking. So, school?"
"This thesis was a bad idea," Jared admitted. "I know--I'm smart, Jensen."
"Yeah, you are."
"I know I am too, and that's enough, right? That's supposed to be enough."
"But it's not."
"I feel like if I don't do the best fucking thesis in the world everyone is gonna think I'm just some pretty boy actor who decided to go to college in case he lost his job when his looks went away. But--I like engineering, you know? I mean, it's cool."
"Yeah," said Jensen.
"And--man, me and Louis had a fight."
"Everything okay?"
"I--it was never a thing for me, you know? He's a cool guy and a good friend, but it was just sex, and I told him. He flipped out when he saw I was coming here for Christmas."
"Why?"
"He wanted me to come see him. And it's just--we're not like that. And now we're probably not friends, and I need a new apartment." He leaned over to rest his head on Jensen's shoulder, feeling the softness of his sweater on his forehead.
Jensen dropped his hand into Jared's hair, ruffled it a little. "I'm sorry, man."
"This real life shit is stressful," said Jared. Then, softly, "Thanks for asking me up."
"Missed you, you gigantic weirdo."
"Yeah, yeah, you love me."
"You wish," Jensen shot back, and somehow it never hurt when he said that, even if it was true.
Jared just leaned for a minute before Jensen spoke again.
"Thanks, man," he said.
"Thanks?" asked Jared.
"I know why you don't have real boyfriends. Why you never hook up with guys in public--I know it's me, man. You caring about my rep or something. I'd tell you to stop if I thought you'd listen. So...thanks."
"That wasn't what went wrong with Louis, you know," Jared said. "But you're welcome."
There was another pause.
"So you're doing this movie, right?" asked Jensen.
"Yeah," breathed Jared. "I'm doing this movie."
*
Jensen had been a private guy since before he met Jared, but there was never any reason for him to be private about Jared. They spent all their time together, they did interviews together--it actually wasn't possible for Jensen to pretend they weren't friends. And being with Jared loosened Jensen up, made him laugh more, joke more, not care so much about the things he'd always worried about.
It was still true; Jensen never talked about his private life at all, except for Jared. All the paparazzi shots of him at bars were him with Jared, the two of them making idiots of themselves.
Jared wondered sometimes if any of those fans from Supernatural were still around, the ones who would ask them about their relationship, the ones who thought they were together. He wondered if they still thought that.
He wondered if any of thought that when Jensen proposed to Danneel, Jared applied to A&M in a fit of rage and spent the next four years at college, still desperately in love with Jensen Ackles.
*
"I can't fucking believe you do this."
"Hey, there are kids around," Mackenzie pointed out. "Their virgin ears."
"They're in the other room," Jared replied.
"Why wouldn't we do this?" asked Jensen. "It's a Christmas classic."
"We do this at my house, but we also watch 'A Very Supernatural Christmas' every year too."
"We should start doing that," said Jensen thoughtfully. "Whatever, you're pretty much family. And this is a family tradition. If I made any sappy Christmas movies about painters and their hometowns, we'd watch them. But since I didn't, we're stuck with your ugly mug."
"You should make a Christmas movie," said Jared. "You can be a frazzled single dad who's down on his luck and hates the holidays, and you find love with a beautiful Christmas elf who teaches you the joy of giving."
"My fist could find love with your face," Jensen threatened. "Sit down, shut up, and watch The Christmas Cottage."
And Jared did, because--this was what he wanted. Him and Jensen on the couch, surrounded by family, watching his movie because it was Christmas and watching movies at Christmas was what you did. And if Jensen kept making fun of him throughout the whole thing, that didn't matter. That was part of Christmas too.
*
After The Christmas Cottage, Jared insisted it was only fair that Jensen had to sit through one of his own movies, and Lily apparently loved the one Jensen and Danneel made together, the one that wasn't Ten Inch Hero. The one that had somehow launched Jensen into a career as a romantic lead, which made Jared snicker at him until he landed a role in a serious drama and got to be a respectable star.
Jared appreciated the way that somehow, Jensen and Danneel had been an amazing on-screen pair, and then they'd divorced.
Danneel and Jensen appreciated it too, so Jared didn't even have to feel guilty.
It was Christmas Eve, late and warm, and Jared was sleepy from his mugs of Irish hot chocolate, which Jensen insisted were festive. He teased Jensen as best he could, but he knew that for what it was, it wasn't a bad movie. Jensen was a good prince-charming type, Danneel was pretty and scatter-brained and down on her luck, and the two of them looked good together, looked real.
He ended up drifting off in a pile on the couch with Jensen, the kind of thing that shouldn't have been normal but somehow was for them.
Jensen's mom woke them up the next morning, a light shake of Jared's knee and a murmur of words. Jared's neck was stiff and he was pretty sure his cheek had Jensen's hair imprinted in it, a pattern of spikes.
"The kids want to open presents," Jensen's mom said softly.
Jared nodded, shook Jensen awake. Watched the flutter of long eyelashes, the rising awareness as Jensen stirred off his shoulder.
"Your dumb movie put us to sleep," said Jared fondly.
"Wasn't my idea to watch it," said Jensen, stretching.
Jared watched the sliver of exposed skin for only a second before he got up, stretching his legs. "Come on," he said. "Present time."
"Hope you got me something good," Jensen muttered.
"Coal all the way," said Jared. "Just like every year."
Jensen shoved him, grinning, and it helped a little, knowing that Jensen was never this happy with anyone else, never this easy. Just Jared, just the two of them.
*
Jared's mama was predictably thrilled when Jared drove home two days after Christmas with Jensen in shotgun. She'd always loved Jensen like her third son, and he laughed as she stood back, clearly torn between coming to hug them right away and holding back, dignified.
Megan had no such qualms.
"Thought you were too good for us, movie star," she said, grinning at Jensen. Jensen lifted her up and swung her around a little, the way Jared had seen him do with his own sister before they let.
"Just too good for Jared," Jensen confided. "Thought he might be offended if I came and saw you without him."
"Oh, screw Jared," said Megan cheerily.
"See if you get your Christmas present," Jared shot back, hugging her as soon as Jensen let her go.
"It better not be another Barbie."
"You love Barbie," Jared scoffed.
"What twenty-seven-year-old girl doesn't?" asked Jensen, making his way over to Jared's mother. "Merry Christmas, Mrs. Padalecki."
Jared could actually see his mom melting. "Now Jensen, you know very well it's Sherri."
Jensen smiled, hugged her, said something Jared couldn't hear.
Megan nudged him lightly. "So, that's still going on," she said, as if she didn't know.
"Yeah," said Jared. "That's still going on."
Megan shook her head. "I think you're an idiot for not telling him."
Jared shrugged. "Never the right time."
"What's wrong with now?"
Jared didn't have an answer for that.
*
The last time Jared and Jensen spent New Year's together, it had been season five, and they'd decided to go back to Vancouver because Tom had talked Rosenbaum into visiting. Jensen had been engaged to Danneel already, but that hadn't stopped him from kissing Jared at midnight, sloppy and drunk and so perfect Jared's heart had stopped.
Jensen had passed out pretty soon after, and Jared spent the next day making fun of him for being a lightweight, trying to ignore the tingling in his lips.
He wasn't getting his hopes up about this year, but he couldn't forget that. Jensen wasn't a casual kisser; he'd never been as comfortable with random physical affection as Jared was, even if being with Jared made him better at that stuff.
And they weren't in LA or even Vancouver, they were at Jared's house, so it wasn't like they were planning to get rip-roaring drunk like they would with Rosenbaum.
So it was stupid for Jared to be sitting next to Jensen on the couch with Megan and Jeff and his wife and a pile of kids on the floor in front of them, his hands sweating, like he was in junior high and on his first date. He half-expected he'd lose control of his limbs and try doing that yawn-arm-around-the-shoulders thing that he had only actually seen attempted by fictional characters and never by actual human beings.
Jensen was close enough to be a warm presence by his side, and Jared couldn't say he was actually surprised when, about fifteen minutes before midnight, Jeff and Kelly got up to carry the kids to bed and Megan offered to help. It wasn't absolutely the most blatant way they could have picked to leave Jared alone with Jensen, but that was only because signs and smoke signals weren't involved.
If Jensen noticed, he didn't comment on it.
"How is Dick Clark still alive?" asked Jared, because it felt quieter with everyone gone, even if no one had been talking before.
"I dunno," Jensen replied, grinning. "We should have had a very special Supernatural where Dean and Sam hunted him."
Jared snorted into his beer. It was his third, and he'd had some wine with dinner, so he wasn't drunk, but he was feeling warm and happy, alcohol settled in his gut like an old friend. "Aren't you supposed to be at some big party throwing up on your anorexic date?" he asked. "Seriously, Jensen."
Jensen shrugged. "You know me, man. I'm never that happy at Hollywood things."
"When your career dies of hanging out with me, you better not be pissed."
"Yeah, I'll hunt you down," Jensen laughed.
The countdown was starting. Jared sighed. "Why don't we have our own Dick Clark? Watching time-delayed New Years is kind of lame."
"You want to clone him too now?" asked Jensen.
"Man, army of Dick Clarks, that'd be--" and then Jensen leaned over and kissed him.
It wasn't quite midnight yet, but by the time they'd lined up their lips and adjusted angles, Jared could faintly hear Aude Lang Syne. Not that he actually cared, because Jensen had his hand on Jared's face, his tongue in Jared's mouth. He could taste alcohol in Jensen's mouth, but he didn't care because he could taste Jensen too, didn't care because this was nothing like four years ago. Jensen wasn't stopping, Jensen was repositioning, kissing him more, deeper, and Jared never wanted it to stop, never wanted anything else in the world.
Part of him knew they were on his parents' couch, and that anyone in his family could walk in at any time, but that part wasn't enough to keep him from trying to lean back, pull Jensen over him, reposition so that this would get better.
But Jensen laughed a little and pulled away, looking happy but stopping anyway. Jared's head was spinning and he had no idea why any of this was happening--alcohol and kissing Jensen fucking Ackles were conspiring to destroy his brain.
Jensen kissed him again, chaste and fast.
"Happy New Year, Jared."
And then he got up and left.
*
Jared didn't often wish that real life was more like TV and movies. But he fucking wished all the time that he had a fade-to-black button, so instead of spending half the night stressing out about making out with his best friend/unrequited love/whatever, it would just be the morning, and he would be able to talk to Jensen about what the fuck happened there.
But the world persistently continued, time moving at its normal pace, until Jared finally passed out, only to be woken up however much later by nieces bouncing on his stomach.
"We're going to the park," said Carly happily. "And dad says you have to come no matter how hung over you are."
"But you're not hanging right now anyway," Alissa added. "So he doesn't have to worry, right?"
Carly sighed exaggeratedly. "That's not what that means. Anyways, come on, Uncle Jared! If we wait much longer mom'll make us go after lunch and I wanna get McDonald's."
"All right, all right," Jared grumbled. "Get off me, I'm coming."
The girls scampered out with the kind of energy Jared could never feel after he'd been drinking. Normally he was all about running around with his nieces, but normally he and Jensen hadn't made out on his parents' couch the night before, so Jared thought he was pretty justified in his general lethargy.
When he got to the kitchen, Jensen was already at the table sipping coffee.
"My autobiography is still going to be called Waiting for Jared, you know," said Jensen, throwing him a look.
"I'm here," said Jared.
It didn't come out like he meant it to.
*
The thing was, Jared was scared shitless of losing Jensen. It didn't make sense, because Jared had had a hissy fit and quit acting and he hadn't lost Jensen, and if their friendship could survive that, if Jensen had been willing to throw away movies for Jared even before he could afford it, even when it was still a question if he'd really make it big, then Jared should have been sure he wouldn't lose Jensen now. Especially because Jensen kissed him, really kissed him. Jensen had started it, so there was no reason for Jared to freak out and decide Jensen didn't want to be his friend.
Jared wanted to talk about it, he really did. But there was a part of him that couldn't help thinking that if they never did talk about it, then nothing could go wrong. They could chalk it up to a mistake and keep going as they always had, and Jared wouldn't lose Jensen.
"Hey," said Jensen, interrupting Jared's internal freakout with words.
"Hey. Did I see you signing autographs?" he asked, blinking up at Jensen. The sun was behind him, so he couldn't make out his expression. Of course.
He could see the easy shrug of Jensen's shoulders as he answered. "They asked." He sat down next to Jared on the bench, stretched his legs and sipped his coffee.
"So good to your fans," said Jared, smiling.
"Whatever, I know you still sign autographs for whoever asks."
"All five of them," agreed Jared. "And three of them are just using me to get to you."
"It's cuz I'm cooler than you."
"They're just using you to get to Danneel."
"Can't blame 'em," said Jensen. "You talk to her recently?"
"A little at Christmas," Jared said. He didn't mention the call when Jensen asked him about the movie. "You?"
"Same."
"I thought she might come down," said Jared. He knew Jensen's family still loved Danneel--hell, Jensen still loved Danneel. Every few months there would be a magazine cover article about how they were reconciling. The first few times, Jared called Jensen up to tease him about it, but it happened so often it had actually gotten old.
"She knew you were coming down," said Jensen, as if that explained everything. He took another sip of coffee. "Are we talking about this?"
Jared stretched. "If you want."
"It's not like you're the most subtle guy in the world," said Jensen finally.
"So you thought you'd try it out?" asked Jared. He was fighting to keep his voice even, because Jensen's was. They were all friends here.
"No, I wouldn't--God, Jared, you don't think I'd do that, do you?"
"You're doing a lot of things I didn't really think you'd do these days."
"God, we should've just had sex," said Jensen, sighing. "It would've been way easier."
Jared put all his focus on breathing for a few seconds. "You calling me easy, Ackles?"
"You seemed pretty easy last night."
"You started it."
Jensen sighed. "If you missed that I'm in love with you, I don't know what to tell you, Jared."
The world stopped for a minute.
"You could've said something earlier," he managed finally.
"I visit you for your birthday every year. I turn down parts to come out for your birthday, Jared."
"You did that when you were married."
"Yeah," said Jensen. "That probably should have tipped me off."
"How long have you known?"
"A while. But, uh...you had a boyfriend."
"God, that was such a fucking mistake."
Jensen laughed. "So, you want to?"
Jared almost asked what Jensen met, until he realized he didn't care. "Yeah," he said. "I do."
*
"You suck at having a career," said Jared, poking Jensen as he dragged his suitcase into the new apartment.
"But I'm going to be awesome at having a boyfriend."
"Seriously," said Jared. "If you keep turning down movies for me I'm going to be pissed."
"I didn't have anything before, genius," said Jensen, rolling his eyes. "I've got a ton of press stuff for a few months. I don't have time to make a movie."
"Good, because I don't love you more than my thesis."
"Yeah, you do."
"Not until it's done, I don't," Jared shot back.
Jensen shook his head, clearly confident.
In all honestly, Jared was having a little trouble. Everything with him and Jensen had always had this confusing pace, the way it felt like they'd been together forever and like they were moving too quickly at the same time, because no one had ever been the same to Jared as Jensen.
They hadn't even done anything yet--a little necking at New Year's, but Jared wasn't very good at sex in his parents' house, and Jensen was even worse at it--and Jared already felt like it was too much, like it wasn't possible to dream about something so long and then get it so easily. Jared couldn't help feeling like it was anticlimactic, like something more had to happen before it was real.
"You're secretly a girl, aren't you?" Jensen had asked, when Jared mentioned this. "That's a shame. I was really looking forward to sucking your dick."
Jared had promptly tripped over himself and forgotten all his issues because he was busy thinking about Jensen blowing him.
Jared wanted to just be happy, and part of him was, but part of it felt impossible, like the plot of every bad chick flick. The big Hollywood actor moving out of LA for months and ignoring his career while his boyfriend finished school, and then the two of them making a movie together.
Jensen shoved his head as he walked by with a box for the kitchen. "Dude, I can hear you stressing."
"Thesis," said Jared casually.
"Uh huh," said Jensen.
"It's just--fast."
"Jared," said Jensen, with his patient voice that signaled he thought Jared was insane. "We lived together for two years. And then I divorced my wife because living with her wasn't as good as living with you. And it's been four years since that happened. We're slow."
And Jared thought, Fine. Jared thought this was it, this was how it was supposed to be, and this was how it was going to be. It was Christmas, and he hadn't been a particularly good boy last year, but he was getting the best present ever anyway, and he might as well take it.
So he stalked into the kitchen, took the box from Jensen and kicked it across the floor, and kissed Jensen hard.
"Weirdo," Jensen muttered against his lips, but he kissed back, fast and hard and without any of the hesitation they'd had when Jared's family could have walked in at any moment.
They hadn't put sheets on the bed yet and the mattress was scratchy and foreign, but Jared could have cared less about that. Because if this turned out to be some kind of horrible mistake, he wanted it to be a really good mistake. He pressed Jensen down and kissed him fast and sloppy as he worked at their pants.
"Jared," said Jensen, laughing a little. "Slow down. I'm not going anywhere."
Jared didn't actually know how to make himself believe that.
Gently, strangely, Jensen pushed him so their positions were reversed, so Jensen was on top of him and in control, and Jensen was slow. Stupidly, Jared thought of Supernatural, thought of teasing Jensen for weeks about how Dean was so careful and caring, and now he couldn't help thinking maybe that was art imitating life, how maybe Jensen was always like this.
But he wanted to think it was him that made Jensen want to slow down. Made Jensen want to appreciate.
Jensen kissed down his chest, smoothed Jared's skin with his hands. Jared wasn't ripped like he used to be, wasn't all muscle and tan like he was during Supernatural. Jensen might have been more ripped now--his movies these days called for more shirtless scenes than Supernatural ever had. Jared found himself glad for the differences, glad that nothing about them was the same except that they cared more about each other than they'd ever cared about anything else in the world.
Jensen nuzzled under his bellybutton, breath ghosting over his jeans, and Jared squirmed. He felt like he'd been hard for hours, and he kind of had been--no matter how much he jerked off at home he couldn't help remembering that Jensen wanted him, and that was the biggest turn-on of his life.
"Have you ever," Jared asked, as Jensen pulled down his jeans and boxers. Jensen's fly was open, but other than that he was fully clothed and Jared was totally naked. It was way hotter than it should have been, but it was Jensen.
"Few times," said Jensen, grinning. "Think I'm gonna start doing it a lot more."
"Yeah," Jared managed. "You better."
Jared knew he wasn't the only person in the world who fantasized regularly about getting blown by Jensen Ackles. But he thought he might hold the record for having the most fantasies about getting blown by Jensen Ackles, because he started before Jensen hit it big and hasn't fantasized about anyone else since, including when other guys were blowing him.
Jensen clearly hadn't given as many blowjobs as some people, but he was enthusiastic and great at suppressing his gag reflex, and he was Jensen, which counted for a lot. Jared gripped the back of Jensen's head, rubbing the smooth skin behind his ear and biting his bottom lip to keep from being too loud, because probably the best first impression for the neighbors was not Jared screaming Jensen's name.
Even if they would have been impressed that Jensen Ackles was living in their building.
Jensen pulled off with a pop and started kissing and licking down Jared's shaft, taking a minute to suck at his balls before moving back, and apparently just the thought of Jensen's tongue in his ass was enough to have Jared coming hard, gasping out Jensen's name and slamming against the headboard.
Jared dragged Jensen up to kiss him, working his hand between them, feeling the cum rubbing onto Jensen's shirt as they lie against each other. He jerked Jensen off fast and dirty, barely bothering to get Jensen's dick out his boxers before he had him coming.
They panted against each other for a long moment, not kissing so much as existing with their mouths together, and then Jared felt Jensen smirk.
"Your thesis is going to suck."
"Shut up," Jared muttered.
*
It worked out. It worked better than it had any right to, actually--it shouldn't have been easy and it was, and Jared slowly accepted that maybe it was because it was right and not because it was all going to blow up in his face.
"Of course it's right," said Jensen, drinking orange juice straight from the carton. "Everyone in the western world saw this coming."
"Yeah, since when have they been right?" asked Jared.
"College boy thinks he's so smart."
"You're just jealous I've got brains and looks."
"You've got a look. I dunno if I'd call it a good look."
"I hate you," said Jared, swiping the orange juice for a long swig. "You in LA this weekend?"
"Premiere party for The Edge of the World. Wanna come?"
"Thesis," said Jared.
"Sometimes I think you're ashamed to be seen with me."
"It's cuz I'm so ugly," said Jared easily. "I don't wanna bring down your reputation."
"You're all heart, Jared."
"That's me," Jared agreed. "I gotta go to class."
"Yeah, go learn," said Jensen, waving his hand. "Don't forget, next weekend you gotta do LA with me. Meeting about the movie."
"I figured once we were having sex you wouldn't make me act with you," Jared grumbled. "If you divorce me as soon as our movie gets successful, I'm going to go marry Danneel."
"That'd be hot," said Jensen thoughtfully. "I'll think about it."
Jared was planning to shove him, he really was, but he ended up pulling him in for a kiss instead. Weirdest thing.
"See you later," he said, pulling away because class was, definitely, more important than sex. Definitely.
"Bye," said Jensen, with a smirk and a wave.
Jared would never admit to Jensen that he found himself whistling on the way to class, but he did most days now. It was warm and sunny, a perfect January day in Texas, his thesis was going to be awesome, and he was dating Jensen fucking Ackles.
Jared was the envy of teenage girls everywhere.
Except for maybe the awesome engineering thesis part. Teenage girls wished they rocked as much as Jared did at thermodynamics and blowjobs.