"And In The Final Days..."

[longbottle]

Those of you who read this on a regular basis (the precious few) know that I have had a long-standing battle of the wills (but definitely not wits) with my co-worker and our assistant manager, Matt. Lovingly known as "crackhead" interchangeably with his given name

Comments

You miserable egg-sucker

[anonymous]

Dan, you are so lacking in discipline to authority! Have you no respect for Amercian demokrasy? When your boss tells you to leap into the air you should ask him "How high sir?" while you are on the way up. Of couxrse, this deifies the laws of physics, since once you deliver the thrust and leave the ground you have already expended the maximum energy and can add nothing more to your momentum unless you fart. But you should be willing to fart for your job if told to. My conclusion is, you are a miserable egg sucker. But don't do anything violent, you will just give the fascist cops more reason to asssseassinate you.

You think you have troubles? I just realized that in my novel I captioned a picture of a guy playing the guitar as saying he's playing the piano! I am so humilitated!

Re: You miserable egg-sucker

[longbottle]

You're up early Mac. Even for you

[longbottle]

That's nice of you, dude.

But frankly, I'd be relieved at this point. I could use the UE "vacation", to be honest. You know how fed up I've been with this job.

[longbottle]

I plan to. Just like I did last time.

[delfi_waveform]

Sounds like Matt should apply to work for BP. From the sound of it, he would be right at home doing nothing on a deep sea rig.

[longbottle]

In that he's lazy, incompetent and backstabbing? Yes.

[delfi_waveform]

You could always claim that any dents in his car were an accident in that you forgot your strength and opened your door really hard. Or, after he leaves, call his ass in to 911 as a reckless/drunk driver and be sure to give them the description of his vehicle down to his license plate as it seems like the chances of that being true are moderate to high.

People who are assholes at work probably are also assholes on the road, too, and more likely to drive recklessly especially if they drive a penis extension.

[longbottle]

He was driving uninsured for a really long time. It's a pity that he finally remedied that situation, that would have been a great thing to narc on him for.

Reckless? No. Drunk... yes. He does like to hang around a bar local to me, so I could always call the cops and have them pull him over. DUIs they take a lot more seriously than other traffic violations.

Ooh, I like that turn of phrase. May I steal it?

[longbottle]

The handbook has an assload of zero tolerance policies that are seldom enforced.

We've always had a bunch of epitaphs flying back and forth there.

[0rcinus]

And you wonder why I'm a hermit and don't do people. :P

[longbottle]

I wish I had that option. Working full-time is not compatible with being a hermit. Especially if you're in a customer service industry.

[delfi_waveform]

Another reason I will never work for a store that has the word "Mart" in its name (or just begs to be shot at/bombed).

[longbottle]

One thing you might not take into consideration: major big box retailers have overnight stocking. At the very least, there's a shift differential, and it minimizes contact with customers. Both of which I need.