what the fuck

[long_goodnight9]

my papa died yesterday. it still hasnt hit me yet...even though i dug out the morning paper today and read his obituary....still dont believe it. i woke up and i felt fine. i thought- "oh, i imagined it all, what a horrible dream." yeah...no. i have never felt so confused before. i keep thinking "no,no,no stupid, he isnt gone, when you go there

Comments

[rainy_someday]

just do your best, i've never been to a wake either, so i know the fear. I've backed out of all of them, even my friends. you know he loved you though, and rather than dwelling on him not being there, think of how much you enjoyed him when he was there. life is too short to be unhappy all the time. i know its hard, but you're going to be alright. i know exactly what you're feeling though because when my grandma died i backed out of visiting her the day before so i could go to the movies, and then the next week i went on vacation and never called her. but my mom told me she understood that i was busy, and it wouldnt have made her love me any less. he loved you and kailey, and you loved him, so you shouldn't feel guilty. it's not your fault. keep your head up, and let me know if you need anything. i still love you platonically. feel better kiddo

:(

[manekibito]

I'm so sorry honey :( It sucks to much to lose a loved one, and as hard as it is, or as furstrating as it seems not to have been able to say goodbye, we do learn with time to cope with it. Don't blame yourself for having to work. If you would have went to the birthday or with your mom to visit, you wouldnt have known to say goodbye then. Death is a strange shock that one can rarely see coming. You'll be alright. And Youre definately not alone.

Love you lots. _-Ro

[rhpablohoney]

i'm really sorry. i've lost a lot of people and i know how hard your situation is, and how it just doesnt seem real at first. knowing that other people got to see him recently when you didnt is awful at first, but you really just need to be sad about that, then remember all the millions of other good times you had, and how not seeing him this once was not going to ruin all of those.

i'm really bad with typing advice. but i really hope you feel better soon and all the best to your family.

[idont_haveamind]

I'm so sorry Mal. I can't even imagine how it must be, I've never lost a loved one either. If you ever need me you know where to find me.

My heart goes out to all of you.

[krank_kether]

As hard as it is to go through this.. it's hard to see someone else feel these things for the first time :o/ I know the grief, this special brand of grief. I know how new and unwelcome a place this is for you. With all the heartache though, celebrate his life Mal, I'm sure he would have wanted that.