what the fuck

[long_goodnight9]

my papa died yesterday. it still hasnt hit me yet...even though i dug out the morning paper today and read his obituary....still dont believe it. i woke up and i felt fine. i thought- "oh, i imagined it all, what a horrible dream." yeah...no. i have never felt so confused before. i keep thinking "no,no,no stupid, he isnt gone, when you go there

Comments

[rainy_someday]

just do your best, i've never been to a wake either, so i know the fear. I've backed out of all of them, even my friends. you know he loved you though, and rather than dwelling on him not being there, think of how much you enjoyed him when he was there. life is too short to be unhappy all the time. i know its hard, but you're going to be alright. i know exactly what you're feeling though because when my grandma died i backed out of visiting her the day before so i could go to the movies, and then the next week i went on vacation and never called her. but my mom told me she understood that i was busy, and it wouldnt have made her love me any less. he loved you and kailey, and you loved him, so you shouldn't feel guilty. it's not your fault. keep your head up, and let me know if you need anything. i still love you platonically. feel better kiddo...

and the seasons they go round and round
and the painted ponies go up and down,
we're captive on the carousel of time
we can't return we can only look behind from where we came
and go round and round and round
in the circle game