Comments | lolocracy: Oh my! What's all this then~?

heavens_brows in lolocracy

Oh my! What's all this then~?

Jul 13, 2011 00:54

Salutations, my lovelies! I hope I find you all well on this most magical evening! I trust you have been all taking care of yourself while I've been away? Regardless, my goodness! It has been one full year since I saw you last! Oh dear me, and I see that you would all do well with my assistance once more! Normally I would be more reluctant to ( Read more... )

is that superman nope a plane, don't touch the halo, angel from abooooove~, boy scout cosplay, god's gift to humanity, jolly good toga, flora coverage, !event: y2 anniversary, put some damn clothes on

Comments 27

anonymous July 13 2011, 08:21:07 UTC

TO: HEINRICH VAN PEETERS heavens_brows July 14 2011, 08:05:54 UTC

Dear Mr. or Ms. HEINRICH VAN PEETERS,

Your wish has been successfully transmitted (CONFIRMATION CODE #583024) and it is currently being processed. We thank you for your patience, but please expect 2 (TWO) to 30 (THIRTY) business days for your wish to come to complete fruition. Also, attached are the details of the granted wish. If you find anything in error or are not completely satisfied with your wish’s outcome, please call: 1-(800)-████-YOU or please feel free to ██ ████ ██████. 0:)

Thank you again for participating in Britannia Angel's Annual Wishing Extravaganza(TM)!

Britannia Angel
CEO and ████ of Britannia Angel Corp.

---

Wish #583024:

DETAILS HERE: Worry not! Your first week will go swimmingly! For one week you'll have all the luck in the world! All of it. Yet that luck has to come from somewhere to keep yours at its consistently high level. Thus, in order to continue to be the luckiest of the lucky, you suck up all the luck from anyone within 5 (FIVE) metres!

anonymous July 13 2011, 08:30:05 UTC

To: Yekaterina Vladmirovna Braginskaya mon_baguette July 14 2011, 08:10:38 UTC

Dearest Yekaterina,

I know that you have been longing in your heart of hearts to make these secret desires come to fruition, and I am so glad that you entrusted them to me. Have no fear, for I know how to make all of your dreams come true. No? Not like that, you say? Well, if you are positive, then, let us continue.

Although it is a shame that you wish to hide your, ah, assets, I hope that this is just what you're looking for.

Whenever and wherever you go, you will have binders around your chestal regions. A smaller chest is available to even you! Even if you try to take it off, still, they will remain bound to your chest.

Here is to hoping that this is exactly what you were looking for!

-Big Brother

anonymous July 13 2011, 13:47:03 UTC

To: Kai Søndergård mon_baguette July 14 2011, 08:17:42 UTC

Dearest Kai,

I know that you have been longing in your heart of hearts to make these secret desires come to fruition, and I am so glad that you entrusted them to me. Have no fear, for I know how to make all of your dreams come true. No? Not like that, you say? Well, if you are positive, then, let us continue.

I understand that it is hard missing your loved ones. And although I searched far and wide, it was rather difficult to find your brother. That is why I have here today, a life sized doll in his stead! If you ever find yourself missing the way it felt to be embraced in his arms in a brotherly hug, you can run to this doll. He comes with 9 different phrases in his voice in both English and Danish that can be activated by pressing the special button located at his special place! With this doll, it will be like your brother never left!

Here is to hoping that this is exactly what you were looking for!

-Big Brother

anonymous July 13 2011, 14:21:34 UTC

TO: ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIEDO heavens_brows July 14 2011, 07:56:51 UTC

Dear Mr. or Ms. ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIEDO,

Your wish has been successfully transmitted (CONFIRMATION CODE #5P41N) and it is currently being processed. We thank you for your patience, but please expect 2 (TWO) to 30 (THIRTY) business days for your wish to come to complete fruition. Also, attached are the details of the granted wish. If you find anything in error or are not completely satisfied with your wish’s outcome, please call: 1-(800)-████-YOU or please feel free to ██ ████ ██████. 0:)

Thank you again for participating in Britannia Angel's Annual Wishing Extravaganza(TM)!

Britannia Angel
CEO and ████ of Britannia Angel Corp.

---

Wish #5P41N:

DETAILS HERE: My goodness! If you would be happier not to think about it, then I shall remove any trace of such knowledge from your skull~ Enjoy the bliss that is ignorance!

anonymous July 13 2011, 14:43:52 UTC

To: Kiku Honda fuuuck_yeah July 14 2011, 09:31:22 UTC

Hey there, distressed citizen and bro~! Your hero is here! To make your dreams come true and yeah! It's gonna be totally awesome, I just know it!

Alright! So. imagine this, man. Since you apparently have this weirdo hang up about your age or whatever, I think you should really spend time with people who are the same age as you! No more feeling like you're a crotchety old grandpa anymore! Problem solved~

But. Uh. You didn't really say how old you are, but-- Wow, 12 years, huh? You must be as old as dirt, dude! So, let's shuffle you back where you belong! With your fellow jello-eating, pill-popping, bedpan-using homies down at the Petrified Oak Retirement Center! There's bound to be plenty people your age you can talk about knitting and shuffleboard and yeah! All that!

No need to thank me! I'm just doing my job, sir!