It's been a little over 5 years since I have posted on this thing. Five years. Half a decade. In that time I learned how to spell (mostly), gained the right to buy cigarettes, vote, drink alcohol, etc, moved 400 miles from home, moved in with the boy I thought I was going to marry, and thought I had moved on so far ahead from the 17 year old girl ( Read more... )

I have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that this break is not going to end the way i want it to and im going to lose him forever.

Im so fucken scared.

He's throwing me away to regain friends he never lost in the first place. And he expects me to be here waiting for him when hes content that he has those friends again. I'm so pissed off at him. He tells me he wants a break to deal with his stuff, when really there are 50,000 reasons why he really wants it and hes too much of a coward to tell me. I ( Read more... )

Im so afraid im going to loose him like everyone else that its turning my crazy. And in the process of trying to keep him i think i pushed him way far away.

I need help. My world is crumbling beneath my feet.

I am obsessive ( Read more... )

I dont think I can trust anyone anymore. So I guess I just wont get close to anyone again and I wont have to take the chance. Its the only option I really have anymore.

everytime I leave him, no matter if ive been with him for an hour or 7, I always have to pull myself away. God I love the fact that he can do that to me.

Next time someone wants to stab me in the back can they please just use a real knife? It will we so much easyer for me and SO much less painfull.

I love reading for a reason. What I read isnt real. It is a life i dont have to deal with the consquances in. It is a place where i am just watching and I dont have to be involved. It takes me from my life and all of the thoughts that are swirling thru my head and lets me RELAX. So all of you, who give me shit about liking it, shut up, its how I ( Read more... )

Name = Jessica ( Read more... )